Topic : 11/22 Saboteurs

I THINK DR. PHIL WAS GREAT AND HANDLE THIS SITUATION PERFECTLY, I JUST WISH HE WOULD OF SAID ALOT MORE TO THE DIL, IT WAS PLAIN AND SIMPLE HOW DEANNA WAS COMING OFF AS A BULLY, AND SHE HAD EVIL IN HER EYES WHEN SHE EVEN LOOK AT THE MIL! SO I AM WONDERING IF YOU SAW THE SAME SHOW AS US!

 Dr. Phil , That woman was a cold young lady she is the one who could change everything for that poor grandma .I think her husband might be brain washed from her and he is a coward .He should have been there his wife and him should get some therapy .I feel so bad for the grandkids.He should help his mother in a time trouble not turn his back.

Dear Dr. Phil,

 

I was so discussed with the daughter in law on this show.  She was the coldest, most hearless woman I have ever seen!  I also noticed that she kept saying "We" for all of her reasons for being this way with her mother in law, Does she always stand behind her husband and use him as her excuse? I can only hope that her children leave her someday and not look back.....

I am in a similar situation and have filed a petition with the courts to see my grandchildren

I appreciate your sound advice and wisdom

grandchildren need us, we are comfort food for them

we provide a security they need for strength and maturity, and to deny us only hurts the children and comes back to haunt the parent when the kids are teens

they learn to not trust their parent, in my opinion

nancy m

grand rapids, mi

I am in a similar situation and have filed a petition with the courts to see my grandchildren

I appreciate your sound advice and wisdom

grandchildren need us, we are comfort food for them

we provide a security they need for strength and maturity, and to deny us only hurts the children and comes back to haunt the parent when the kids are teens

they learn to not trust their parent, in my opinion

nancy m

grand rapids, mi

That  2nd last paragraph is it exactly. If it wasnt for the grandparents there would be no them. Dr.Phil should be teaching some form of respect , tolerance & patience.Life is not just about them.

Yes I know that sometimes there are bad people that are the parents,grandparents etc. But thats not the

norm.  One can not treat everyone as unfit  because of the few. I see a sad breakup of the whole family

because of the way young people think they not only have the right to bully older individuals but that its

their God given right.  And to prove it they use the children.

This sad situation is across all North America.

I first heard of it at the hair dressers. This woman was so upset. It had got to the point that she was seeking legal help to visit the grandchildren. And I stupidly was thinking about the MIL  "what is wrong with her. she must be some really bad person"  Three years later, here I am. My DIL started right on the wedding day. Now its me thats told 'You will never see  your grandchildren" 

Good Lord,   what is happening

 

When I married and when I had children, My Mom & MIL always had their  ideas that they let me know about ( wether I liked them or not)  Never in any lifetime would I have used the kids against them or made any threat that they would not be alowed to see the kids.  Its a thing that never would have entered my mind.  

 

Why is it in the minds of so many of our children now.  How did it get there.

 

Yes in the millions of our population there are few that are bad.  FEW!

I could not agree with you more.  There is absolutely NO respect towards the elderly in American Culture today.  Just wait until all the disrespectful “kids” feel (really adults now if you can call them that) when they grow up and their children abandon them because of the way the parents have treated THEM.  They will be getting a dose of their own medicine.  I am a true believer in what goes around - comes around.  My daughter holds my grandchildren hostage and denies me visitation and uses them as punishment to hurt me when she gets mad at me.  HOW WRONG IS THAT?  My daughter will get hers in the end, but in the meantime my grandchildren suffer the most.

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR POST!!!!

 

A heartbroken grandmother

I enjoyed your quote so much that I cut and pasted it into a "Word" Document and have enlarged the type and will be printing it out to keep at my desk!!!!

 

Thank you!

 

I am the stepmother  to an 8 year old  girl that my heart does not know I did not  create. Her  mother died of a drug overdose 18 months ago and her father and I have had her fulltime since that day. Prior to that day, her mother and her mother's family had kept her from him for over a full year. Everytime we got close to getting to her, they moved her to a different relative's house in a different county requiring more paperwork and transferring of petitions.  They told her he abandoned her...that he didn't want to pay child support so that he could see her...and on and on. We ended up having no choice but to sever the ties with the family for a time while she was in grief counseling and trying to rebuild a relationship with her father.  They took us to court to try and gain custody (which they lost), then they tried to sue for visitiation (which they lost), then they tried to sue for guardianship of her estate (which...yes they lost).  We try to make it work every month...sometimes it works and sometimes it does not but I'll be damned if I'm going to let anyone make derogatory comments about the only living parent she has left essssssssspecially if it is NOT true. Nope...you don't get to confuse and hurt her like that I don't care if you are God Herself. 

Grandparent or not...family or not....if there is emotional damage being done to the child's psyche then someone has to step up and protect them from it. I am in no way saying that the Grandmother in question here is causing harm....my comment is a general response to the posts about Grandparents having the rights no matter what. I disagree.  Everyone involved, parent and Grandparent alike, need to remember that kids hear everything...they sense more than we give them credit for and they know things without being told. If Mommy and Gramma don't like each other, the kid knows.....and now you've put the child in a situation similar to a divorce.  All in the name of love and 'my rights'. 

And before anyone assumes anything: I have two college age boys with a man I married at 19 and divorced at 24. His mother is the woman I consider my Mom and I treat her as such. She introduces me as her daughter...we talk alllllllllll the time...I am the executor of her will over both of her sons mind you. I love her with all my heart.  Through thick and thin, she was consistent, fair and nonjudgemental. Some 20 years later, I can honestly say she has been the single most influential person in my life.  So it CAN be done.