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Topic : Repairing Broken Relationships

Number of Replies: 1122
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:14:12 am
Author : dataimport
Is there a rift in your family that has gone on too long? When someone isn't speaking to someone else and they drag the whole family into it, things get ugly. Share your stories and solutions here.

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January 9, 2009, 12:00 pm CST

sex-abuse

Quote From: dondad75

It would take a long time to explain everything, but I will give it a shot!

 

I have a big family 10 children, my parents have been gone a long time, over 10 years.

One of my older brothers has passed, so that leaves 3 older and 2 younger. brothers  I have 3

sisters and 11 nephews & 3 nieces. I get together with some of my younger brother & sisters, but not all of them.

 

Seems our problems started when we were very young and to get to the root of it, it was my mother letting my older brothers watch the younger ones. I was too young to know anything about what was going on, but now do. It seems that a couple of my older brothers were fondling, molesting my oldest sisters. Of coarse I have only heard this second hand and came after the oldest brother, was working someplace and was being accused of inappropriate behavior with a female co worker.

 

It seems my oldest sister is fueling the fire of the family breakup and some of the history is sketchy, as too whether this older brother had a chance to come clean? I think there was a point where he had this chance and took the road of denial and have made my youngest brother very angry, which is not helping.

 

I have try to get them all together, but seems too much water under the bridge for some?

The sad part is that it was not handle properly when it should have and rape and molestation has a way of being hidden away in the background. It is sad that the same sort of thing happened to my now ex wife and has also caused us to be divorced.

 

There is some anger in me due to males that do this sort of thing to others, with out any regard to how it will effect them, later in life.

 

I guess if one thing came out of this, it would put things at peace with my self and realize that things like this happen and some how I can move on !

 

I came from a family of 5 children and was rejected by them, as aresult my hunger for love and my pain blinded me from sense and sensibility I had 11 children before I even knew what was wrong with me .there is sex- abuse in our family and the mystery deepens and is unresolved because instead of dealing with the issue my 3 sisters sivorced themselves physically from the family and moved half-way across the states, and yet  keep the original offender in their lives because he has power and money. I had neither, just emotional dysfunctions as a result so I became the black sheep and the abuse became my word, well apparently at least  one of  my lovely sisters had an affair with the son my offender took from me and things still go on as though the original offender did nothing wrong. I respect policemen, even enjoy cops. but my bio dad was a cop and well respected by some. I guess we just have to have faith that there is judgment in the after life for those who dont get it here.  God bless
 
January 9, 2009, 12:41 pm CST

safety

Quote From: lofgrenb

Super long story... going to make it short. I was the one that cared what people thought -- made good grades, etc... He didn't. I'm older by two years. I roomed in college with his ex wife before they ever dated. I still have a reln with her as friends. He divorced her... he has pulled many many antics all the way up to beating me up in 2002. I haven't been able to forgive... it's been stormy since. He's remarried. She emailed me earlier on but after another blowout happened in Feb (bro is now accusing my parents of abuse as a child to ME at the time but not to them -- i got angry about it and told them but they are acting like they don't know).

I had a child in April. he's never called to say how are you. He hasn't even met him.

WHAT DO I DO? I have reachd out once... just sent another email today just saying that his nephew wanted to meet his only uncle.

What do I do?
if your brother beat YOU up in 2002, how do you know he wont do the same again, how do you think your son would feel, (or, more importantly turn out like, if he thinks its acceptable)? first, make sure he is a safe person for your son to be around before you expose him to his uncle.your desire for this relationship is not as important as your sons well being. though it would be nice, maybe your brothers process will happen sometime in time for your son to have a relationship with him. maybe express your thinking to your brother and express your desire to have him healthy enough to have a relationship, and if your brother doesn't care enough then its his problem not yours and there's nothing you can do about that unfortunately.  God bless
 
January 9, 2009, 12:59 pm CST

christian

Quote From: tartanmama

 

         I could use some help. About 7 years ago, I divorced my husband after 22 years because I could no longer endure his abusive nature. I felt at last, that it was best to distance myself from him both for my children's sake (20, 19, 16, 15, & 13 at the time), as well as mine. I am sure that there are some folks out there who understand the environment of some Christian churches. My chilren and I were cast out, and abandoned by almost everyone we knew at the time. My ex husband is a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde type, but most people did not know that. Anyway, since then, my children and I have had a very difficult time, especially financially. I did not forsee all the issues that we were going to end up dealing with, issues that stemmed from the abuse that my ex-husband doled out to each of us. Now my oldest daughter has stopped speaking to me, without feeling any obligation of explaining to me how I have offended her. I have tried every way I can to apologize, ask forgiveness for mistakes made, etc. However, to no avail. It has been about a year since she stopped speaking to me. I also have an old friend of 25 years, my children's Aunt, who has also stopped speaking to me without feeling any obligation to tell me why. I know that my daughter has contact with my friend/her Aunt. I have tried to resolve whatever is wrong, but again to no avail. I just want my kids and I to be a family again. I want to be able to talk to my friend. As I live with my sons, it seems as if we have been cut off by other family members. What can I do to resolve things so that I can have my ids and I being a family again? There are of course other problems that work into the fabric above, which I did not mention here, because it would just make things to involved to understand. I would appreciate any input. Thank you for everyone's time. Lorna

I know where you are coming from my parents divorced after 26 yrs of abuse . my mother got wiped out in the marriage, the divorce, everything,she is still suffering. there were 5 of us my three sisters left calif. for colorado and have nothing to do with my mom. my brother who was adopted by them has become lost my dad beat him up his whole life.  I was the sensitive one, so I in all my stupid pain went out and had 11 children before I figured out what was wrong with me. I don't know how tpo advise you, except to just pour all of your love into those who do want you around. appreciate each and every relationship you have as though you could be stuck with NO family. even if you only have ONE family member that is more than some do!! I have been there where the only family I had was one person who would ealk to me and no one else. fortunately some of my children have forgiven me for my shortcomings and have come to me. they now surround me with forgivness and love and I am immersuably grateful each and every day. I dedicate myself to assisting my faimily any way I can its all about self-sacrifice, forgivness and non- judgment . I not only lost my original family but my children for awhile and my church, anyone can turn on you if they are given a reason that makes sense to them. this world is a very hungry selfish animal who likes to eat all it can. we have to fight it to make a possitive difference any way we can!! you will be in my prayers! God bless
 
January 11, 2009, 8:01 am CST

tears

Quote From: grandmapiche

  Hi everyone: What do you do when you have spent 25years closing doors on pain only to have it ripped up agian cause you found out you have been lied to? I grew up always trying to get people to like me specailily my mother who was always distant from me. I didn't understand why she kept me at such a distance and so I would turn into myself and blank out for quite a few periods of my childhood. Some of my black periods are still to this day lost to me. I felt like I grew up in a bubble seperate from all that I loved. It was a lonely exsistance. One day my mother showed interest in me and said if I wanted a future to snap out of it and so I did. It was like I had just woke up. I place all my energy into pleasing her then something happened to change my feeling about my mother for ever. I found my birth record. I would find out later that my feelings of always feeling like I didn't fit into my family sort of was the truth. My mother had lied about my father and got angry at me for noseing into her papers. I was very angry young adult by now and would marry a man  I didn't love just to get away from her. I did it to hurt her but as it turned out I hurt myself. I spent 4 years in an abusive unhappy marriage. Ya I showed her all right! I managed to ecape it with two babies in tow. I would spend the next 25 years stuggling and dealing with my life past and presant. Ah! finalily I have placed my life in some order and have found peace. My mother dies of cancer and I give it one more try to get the truth about my father but she cries and my heart can't seem to push it anymore. I will never find out and it feels like I'm not complete some how. Finalily after many years after her death I accept my loss and decide to focus on the rest of my life. Then I was hit with some information that hit me so hard I just wanted to find a dark hole and hide there for ever. I didn't want to be around anyone. My mother had 6 kids and decided to write each one a letter. She intrusted them to my younger sister to give them out after her death. She dicided not to give them out because of the information that was in my letter, which means she opened my letter. But you see In my heart I know my mother done this because my brother remembers her talking about it before she really got sick and I it is just something my mother would have done. but you see there is no proof. Those lies are with my mother, sister and the letters themselves. Everyone says I should just forgive, forget and go on. I know in my heart and soul that forgiveness might come maybe some day long from now but forget no never. I have always been able to deal with things and place them into the past but this is so different. That letter could have given me not only the truth about who  I am but close the door to a painful childhood. I could have finalily forgiven my mother maybe took back my life. Now and forever that will not be possible. I smile and pretend for my family and friends but I feel so hurt and broken I just don't know if I can put this neatly away like all the other hurts. Well my heart is really feeling tight in my chest right now so this is it but I would like to hear other's oppinions. How can I go on without feeling all this pain and not being whole?

I am so sorry you have been lied to and kept secrets from, that is so many kinds of wrong!! I really felt  the pain in your story. I wish I knew some kind of solution or answer for you , but it is surprising what weird and beautiful things can happen and come from tragedys,  that will floor you,with surprise! I predict that one day you will be doing something mundane ,or you will have someone say something to you, and it will dawn on you that either the solution, or resolution, or at least peace will be with you over it all. my family tied a secret for me around why my only 3 sisters wont have anything to do with me its been 30 yrs almost and it just about killed me, not only that they wouldnt have anything to do with me any more, but also the cutting part that it was my fault and I should know whay and no one would tell me why I was supposed to "figure " it out on my own. I still feel the intense pain and loss overit and am crying over it now. but I have found so may more things and people in my life who do care about me, because I care about them. I will keep you in my prayers.  God bless
 
January 12, 2009, 10:55 am CST

Repair the Unrepairable

When your only child, a 36 year old son, decides to delete his mother from his life - "the most difficult decision" he's "ever had to make"; along with, "I love you very much and always will but I have to do what's best for my family." as read via e-mail that also stated, "Do not reply to this e-mail" -- the reasons a dozen or more from past issues, a blatant lie told to him by his father (we've been divorced since our son was 10 years old) and a complete misunderstanding regarding my sons new girlfriend and their issues and my concerns (she was pregnant with ex boyfriends baby when they got together, my son planning on raising child as his own and adopting if/after biological father gave up all parental rights, etc.) led to his making this decision.  But I've received Happy Mother's Day, Happy Birthday and a Thank you for the card e-mails from him. . .so what does he want?  Me out of his life or not.  None of the e-mails are personalized at all: no Dear Mom or Love, Jason.  All one sentence for the occasion.  I've never responded to the e-mail sent May 10th, 2007 so I have never taken the opportunity to respond to/address/defend/explain/stand my ground/question/refute/deny and/or apologize for any of the matters/events and/or issues included in that fateful e-mail.  Its tone and matters brought up within the e-mail confirmed that any time I had sent a note/letter/e-mail or discussed these things the note/letter/e-mail was never read and conversations fell on deaf ears.  I don't know what to do, where to turn, how to feel about the whole situation.  So I play numb and dead and never allow myself to feel anything one way or the other.  No way to exist.  Most days it's all I can do to just go through the motions pretending to live a life when that's hardly what I would call my existence these days.   What's the use?  Too much time has passed and events taken place to ever get back even a semblance of what we once had.  When there isn't any semblance of a relationship to repair then there's nothing left.
 
January 13, 2009, 5:59 pm CST

Nowhere to turn

I've never done this before, but I don't know what to do.  I seem to just get sadder everyday.  With 5 sons, it's harder and harder to hide how unhappy I am.  I've been married for 21 years(I'm 43).  I had been abused by most of the men in my life, and then I met Joe.  He was so caring, and after a year, we married, a year later started a family while he went off to military training.  We have been though so many trials.  We lost our only daughter to SIDS when she was 57 days old.  We have had five sons, moved over and over during a 20 year Air Force career(he just retired), even overseas for a horrid tour that nearly distroyed us.  We lost my beloved mother-in-law while we were there. At least she was with us in the end.  Over my husband's career, we have been seperated 2+ years.  Not a lot by some military standards, but not fun just the same.  Our second son was born after our daughter died, and came home on a monitor because of it.  I came home alone, with a 3y/0, and my newborn because Joe was in training for 8 weeks. I was terrified.  I was a willing participant. My husband was the love of my life.  About ten years ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  For the most part, it didn't affect our lives much. I had some bad times, as anyone with the disorder knows, but it was mostly controlled...until we moved to a tiny little town overseas, 2 hours from the closest English speaking military installation.  I was very healthy when we got there, I had even lost 75lbs in the year prior.  Over this horrible tour, one he should never have agreed to, my health plummeted.  I gained back all the weight +, was put on so many drugs, I have pieces of time missing, and I am the one made to feel like I did something wrong.  He could have done something.  When I finally realized what was going on, before we came home, I started weaning myself off all the crap I ended up on because of all the mix-ups between doctors.  Like I stated above, we lost his mom, during this time, to cancer.  We were all pretty dazed when we got back to the states.  After everything we had been through, and a 20 year marriage, I thought we could get through anything.  We planned to buy the house we had always talked about, one in the country so I could finally do what I love, save and rehab animals. A big house, maybe with a pool, so the kids could have lots of room for them and their friends. I also love to garden, and raise my own food.  Everytime I got a good start going, we had to move and leave it all behind.  I did this knowing that we had our plans for the future, ones that had been in place since the beginning.  I was wrong to think things would ever be the same.  Because of some damage caused by the lack of continued care(overseas), I had to have 2 surgeries soon after we got settled.  Life was hard.  We started arguing.  You see, we had started to look for houses, our "forever house" as we had always called it.  Joe was changing the plans, OUR plans.  No longer did he want to live in the country, but in a neighborhood.  He knows I hate where we live now(in a neighborhood), and have always felt trapped, and like everyone is always in your business in this kind of setting.  I wanted some open space.  Forget about rescuing animals.  There are rules and regulations about those things in city limits, and most neighborhoods.  He says he loves me, but how can he love me if he only wants the parts that fit in his new plan?  He says it will be better for the kids this way and has them saying if we move anywhere but where they want, they will stay with friends. He says I am being selfish!  I have waited half my life to retire like we have always planned to do.  I'm sorry, but the kids will have their own lives to plan and live the way they want.  We have given up a lot for them, and gladly so.  But this?  At one point Joe even said,"If your health is much better by spring, we will look at the houses you want."  Well guess what, I worked my tail off and lost 40 lb(and as of now 87lbs), and went to physical rehab.  I have been doing better and better, and when it came time for the reconning, he said he had changed his mind.  All we do is fight about this.  Counciling hasn't helped, prayer hasn't helped, and obviously, no ammount of work on my part is going to help.  I' m trapped, and he knows it.  I love him more than anything.  I have no place else to go.  He has betrayed my trust, just like every other man in my life, and I don't think I can take anymore.  I've even thought of ending it all, it would hurt less.  It's not that I want to die, it's just that living what now feels like a painful lie, seems too overwhelming.  But I have kids that I adore(ages 19-8yrs)  I don't know what to do.  Am I wrong to want what we've waited and worked so hard for?  Isn't it wrong for him to up and change the rules.  My health problems are partially on him, so why can he make me feel so guilty, is that right?  I just feel SO betrayed.  It's not just a house, that would be easy.  I just can't get past the position he has put me in, and the feeling that he has no repect for me or the way I feel.  Can I even trust that he still really loves me?
 
February 2, 2009, 6:32 pm CST

A deep pain in your heart

Quote From: mamatosix

I've never done this before, but I don't know what to do.  I seem to just get sadder everyday.  With 5 sons, it's harder and harder to hide how unhappy I am.  I've been married for 21 years(I'm 43).  I had been abused by most of the men in my life, and then I met Joe.  He was so caring, and after a year, we married, a year later started a family while he went off to military training.  We have been though so many trials.  We lost our only daughter to SIDS when she was 57 days old.  We have had five sons, moved over and over during a 20 year Air Force career(he just retired), even overseas for a horrid tour that nearly distroyed us.  We lost my beloved mother-in-law while we were there. At least she was with us in the end.  Over my husband's career, we have been seperated 2+ years.  Not a lot by some military standards, but not fun just the same.  Our second son was born after our daughter died, and came home on a monitor because of it.  I came home alone, with a 3y/0, and my newborn because Joe was in training for 8 weeks. I was terrified.  I was a willing participant. My husband was the love of my life.  About ten years ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  For the most part, it didn't affect our lives much. I had some bad times, as anyone with the disorder knows, but it was mostly controlled...until we moved to a tiny little town overseas, 2 hours from the closest English speaking military installation.  I was very healthy when we got there, I had even lost 75lbs in the year prior.  Over this horrible tour, one he should never have agreed to, my health plummeted.  I gained back all the weight +, was put on so many drugs, I have pieces of time missing, and I am the one made to feel like I did something wrong.  He could have done something.  When I finally realized what was going on, before we came home, I started weaning myself off all the crap I ended up on because of all the mix-ups between doctors.  Like I stated above, we lost his mom, during this time, to cancer.  We were all pretty dazed when we got back to the states.  After everything we had been through, and a 20 year marriage, I thought we could get through anything.  We planned to buy the house we had always talked about, one in the country so I could finally do what I love, save and rehab animals. A big house, maybe with a pool, so the kids could have lots of room for them and their friends. I also love to garden, and raise my own food.  Everytime I got a good start going, we had to move and leave it all behind.  I did this knowing that we had our plans for the future, ones that had been in place since the beginning.  I was wrong to think things would ever be the same.  Because of some damage caused by the lack of continued care(overseas), I had to have 2 surgeries soon after we got settled.  Life was hard.  We started arguing.  You see, we had started to look for houses, our "forever house" as we had always called it.  Joe was changing the plans, OUR plans.  No longer did he want to live in the country, but in a neighborhood.  He knows I hate where we live now(in a neighborhood), and have always felt trapped, and like everyone is always in your business in this kind of setting.  I wanted some open space.  Forget about rescuing animals.  There are rules and regulations about those things in city limits, and most neighborhoods.  He says he loves me, but how can he love me if he only wants the parts that fit in his new plan?  He says it will be better for the kids this way and has them saying if we move anywhere but where they want, they will stay with friends. He says I am being selfish!  I have waited half my life to retire like we have always planned to do.  I'm sorry, but the kids will have their own lives to plan and live the way they want.  We have given up a lot for them, and gladly so.  But this?  At one point Joe even said,"If your health is much better by spring, we will look at the houses you want."  Well guess what, I worked my tail off and lost 40 lb(and as of now 87lbs), and went to physical rehab.  I have been doing better and better, and when it came time for the reconning, he said he had changed his mind.  All we do is fight about this.  Counciling hasn't helped, prayer hasn't helped, and obviously, no ammount of work on my part is going to help.  I' m trapped, and he knows it.  I love him more than anything.  I have no place else to go.  He has betrayed my trust, just like every other man in my life, and I don't think I can take anymore.  I've even thought of ending it all, it would hurt less.  It's not that I want to die, it's just that living what now feels like a painful lie, seems too overwhelming.  But I have kids that I adore(ages 19-8yrs)  I don't know what to do.  Am I wrong to want what we've waited and worked so hard for?  Isn't it wrong for him to up and change the rules.  My health problems are partially on him, so why can he make me feel so guilty, is that right?  I just feel SO betrayed.  It's not just a house, that would be easy.  I just can't get past the position he has put me in, and the feeling that he has no repect for me or the way I feel.  Can I even trust that he still really loves me?

Your post is a little old now, I hope you see this response....

You feel betrayed because you put up your end of the bargain, pushing through very hard times again and again, to accomodate him.  His needs came first through so many of these years, including the hard childbearing / raising years.  Frankly, you suffered greatly at times, didn't you?  All with a little piece inside of you that held onto the time when what YOU want/need would be tended to.  And you understood and believed that he held this belief and vision as well.  Then the time comes, you really need it now, and he pulls the rug out from underneath you.  Inexplicidly so.   

I know you feel trapped.  You gave so much for so long, then what do you do now?  Divorce over this?  Or do you just have to again suck it up and go along w/ him?  That's a heartbreaking thought at this point I know.  I know you feel it is unfair.  That you should be worthy of this, worthy to get this.

Can you hold him to him saying once the kids are gone you can move?  You probably at this point aren't even sure.  Is there any way you can get pieces of what you want, piecemill it into your life?  Volunteer at animal shelter?  Find a women's retreat in the country, or amish B&B or something that you can frequently visit?   All I can think is to find a way around him to at least get part of what you want. 

Maybe take your mind off of him and his stupidity and selfishness, lest you be driven crazy by it.  That's easier said than done, and I need to take my own advice on that. 

I'm sorry for the loss of your infant daughter.  You've had a full life for 43 yrs old.  I hope you find a way out of this.  Best wishes.

 
February 9, 2009, 2:32 pm CST

Immature Older Sister

My sister is 27 years old and she seems to always have a chip on her shoulder about me. I am 24 and a college student who works part time. My sister has not had a very easy life, she has been in trouble and she has had problems figuring out who she is. My life has come a little easier to me, I was in trouble once in high school, learned my lesson and straightened up my act. I am now in college and have a very bright future. I am going into social work and would like to work for the government so of course, I can not have any sort of record. Well, this last summer my sister was pulled over without insurance and expired tabs. She was driving wth the conditions that she could not have any moving violation within a year otherwise she would lose her license. So, she gave my name to the cop and a few months later I got a letter in the mail stating that I am being sent into collections and have a court date for not paying my fines. Prior to this letter my sister did attempt to pay the fines, without telling me about the situation, and her check bounced. She was going to pay the fine and leave on my record a driving without a license, insurance, and expired tabs with two underage children in the car. Since then, I found a lawyer got all of the charges dropped. My sister will be taken to Court for this, without my filing any charges. She seems as though she feels no remorse for all the hastle and jeopradizing of my future that she put me through. For months I felt as though she owed me an apology and she thinks I am a bitch because I would not take the wrap for her and, "her life is so perfect and I am nothing but a mess up" (quote from my sister). She played the victim. I decided to give up on wanting an apology and I just forgave her in my heart. I have tried getting along with her and telling her that I love her, but she now says that I am not her sister and she puts words in my mouth. I do not know what to do. It kills me that she is so prideful and that she is turning this situation around on me as though it is my fault that we are having problems. She is the one that had me sent into collections and almost caused me to lose my license. I still love her though, she is my sister and I would do almost anything for her, but I am not going to jeopradize myself because she can't keep herself out of trouble. Someone please help me out here, I am at a loss. I almost just want to call it a loss but I love her too much to not have her be a part of my life. Plus, my neices mean the world to me and I am very close to them, this could affect them also.
 
February 9, 2009, 5:29 pm CST

Im not exactly sure what to do or not to do.

My parents divorced when I was just three years old and my brother was five. I'm 15 now and my brother is 17 and my brother is living with our dad for about a year now. I haven't exactly had an actual conversation with my brother for 2-3 years now. My relationship with my dad is pretty distant. He only contacts me when he is wondering if I would want to come over....but otherwise he doesn't call to see how my week was or my day was. It's hard to believe that he can't take even five minutes to do that. It makes me frustrated. His excuse is that he's too busy with work...so it seems like he's too busy to have a relationship with me. And I want a relationship with him, but I'm not sure if I should confront him or I should just move on with my life or what. My brother has gotten in trouble with the law a couple times. He's on his second time around on probation. And now he has to go back to court because he violated his probation thing whatever. But anyways, I'm pretty close with my mom, but I have some doubts about her. She has zero patients, I mean literally. She doesn't do holiday's even though we do them anyways. She has to have the house perfectly clean before we leave. And I think she thinks she has to do everything just right or she thinks she has failed at it and that stresses her out even more. Like everyone else I believe she has a list of things she needs to do and there is always something added on and she thinks she can finish that list. And she knows she can't finish it but she wants to finish it. So it makes me not want holidays to come along just because they are so stressful and full of yelling. My mom and step dad met when I was four and married when I was seven.
 
March 25, 2009, 6:45 pm CDT

Tight knit family coming apart at the seams

My family was once a VERY close knit family.  I have 3 sister and we all were very close.  Here is the problem that has divided the family. . . . My stepfather (of 35 years) physically abused my mother almost 2 months ago.  I have never known him to be physically abusive towards my mother; only mentally and emotionally.    The night the incident happened, my mother called me at 2am and instructed me to call the police, that she needed help.  By the time the family arrived at my mother's house, the police had taken him to jail.  The next day my mother filed an official complaint with the prosecutor.  HOWEVER, later that night she was at the jail trying to visit him!  The day that he went before a judge, the judge instructed him to stay away from the house.  Before he could complete his sentence, my mother stood up and said that she was there to take him (her husband) home!  I WAS SOOO MAD!!  I have not been to my mother's house since the incident and refuse to speak to my stepfather at all.  I still have a close relationship with my mother and we talk all the time.  However, she can not understand why I will not come to her house or speak to her husband.  Now you have to understand that my family and I were ALWAYS together.  We did not need a reason to have dinner together or vacation together or spend the entire day at each others home.  We spoke on the phone all the time.  This all ended the day of the incident.  One of 3 sisters is my stepfathers biological child.  She and I had an argument because she did not understand why I felt the way I did towards her father.  As a result, she and I have not spoken in over a month.  This is tearing me and my family apart.  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated
 
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