Topic : The Meaning of "Family"

They Treat Poor Families' Kids Like Puppies, They Deny The Children A Normal (Real) Family Life, And The Right To Be A Normal Real Daughter or Son, They Take Them Away and Keep Them Away, As If They Are Out In the World Alone.  

 THEY DON'T CARE WHAT A CHILD'S REAL FAMILY MEANS TO THE CHILD.  

While I love my husband very much too and we're each others priority , we're also individuals with additional  roles and responsibilities.  Without question, both of us support each other in all our relationships and would be there for our children or parent... that's part of making each other a priority.  When our daughter had open-heart surgery, we both were there... she wanted me to stay with her during her recovery phase & I did.  My husband wouldn't have had it any other way and her husband was also relieved to have me there.  When my husband was on a business trip & had a heart attack... our daughter flew home immediately to travel with me to be with him... her idea, not mine.  And when my mother was dying, my husband not only understood that I was going back home to take care of her during her last few weeks of life...  he made the trip with me (his plan was to get a flight back home, so I would have the car -  then fly back to be with me when she died). I could have gone alone and gotten a rental car while I was there, but he was making me a priority.  As it turned out, it wasn't necessary, since she took an unexpected turn for the worse & barely lived long enough for me to arrive.  And neither of us would ever refuse to have a parent live with us, if they didn't have a home of their own.  But isn't that what family is all about? To live our own lives, but also be mature and loving enough to be there for others in times of need?  So who comes first?  It's a compromise... sometimes you, sometimes your significant other.  

Intuition tells me you're not in a healthy relationship.  What applies in a healthy relationship does not apply to a relationship with a practicing addict/alcoholic or abuser...  in that situation, if you ever want to be a priority, you'll need to leave.  If you treasure your sanity, your health or your family... you'll need to leave.  You'll also need help for recovery.   

Your brother's fiance hasn't thought her wedding through.  She's responding to suggestions from all and sundry in an effort to please.  Someone says a young flower girl would be charming - your niece gets included.  Someone says children can be difficult and overawed by the occasion - your sister gets included to keep your niece on the straight and narrow. 

Another type of woman would have thought through the ramifications of various choices and made her own decisions, which would have treated people in the same position eg sisters of the groom in the same way. 

Well the bride has chosen the behaviour and the consequences (Dr Phil - life law).  She starts married life with all the sensible women at her wedding thinking she's a fluffy airhead who doesn't understand how family life can be affected by little things like the choice of bridesmaids.  And to rub it in further you get to swan around in a gorgeous outfit of YOUR CHOICE showing how maturely you accept the situation. 

I have 2 daughters, 18 & 12.  For the past 3 years, I have been dating a man that lives an hour away.  He also has 2 daughters, 15 & 13.  Every other weekend, I travel the hour distance to see him.  With the price of gas anymore, it's costing me alot to travel!!  Anyway, in the fall, my oldest will be heading off to college.  I've been planning this for 2 years now, but I want to move my youngest and I to my boyfriends house.  My youngest seemed to be ok with the move, but now all of a sudden, she doesn't want to go.  We took a tour of the school she will be attending in the fall, and she informs me that she doesnt' like it and won't go there.  I asked her to atleast give it a try and if it didn't work, we'd work something else out.  Last night, she informed me she didn't wasn't moving, or going to the new school.    

I live in low income housing, and this summer, my rent, (because of my raise) will be going up.  I can't afford the rent anymore.  I will have less expenses moving away, which is really great for me, maybe I can finally get out of debt.  

My ex lives about 5 minutes from me.  My youngest goes over there every Wed night for supper, and every other weekend.  He keeps buying her things, that way she'll want to spend more time over there.  Here is my problem.....I think if she were to get the option, she would move to her father's house, just so she wouldn't have to change schools.  I'm really scared that that's what she's going to do, and I feel like I'm stuck in the middle.  I know if she goes with me, she'll make out ok with starting a new school, she just needs to give it a try.  I really want to move with my boyfriend, but I surely don't want to lose my daughter over it.  Her and I are very close.  We do alot together, since the oldest is old enough and doesn't spend much time at home anymore.  Can someone please help me with this???  

Well, Of course you need to do what is in the best intrest of your child.  If its one thing I have learnt through some major problems and changes in my life is that the best intrest for the child is important. And sometimes children know more than we give them credit. Have you really sat down and talked to your children to see what they think and feel about this boyfriend.  

You are right though if you go ahead and move your child,she will get over it and she will be ok in a new school and she just probably dosnt realize it.  From my past child hood and moving alot, I never wanted to go and I always was hard on my parents but I always ended loving my school and making friends etc. Children dont realize that life is full of change and everyone has to adjust throughout there life.  Good luck...feel free to email me anytime........