Topic : The Meaning of "Family"

 I said to my five year old Granddaughter that I would see her on Wednesday.  She will be six years old.
My Daughter asked me what time would I be over?  She said that my Granddaughter wanted two or three of her friends to the house.  My Granddaughter came right up to me and said that I wasn't invited.  My Daughter said that my Granddaughter's father-figure would be stopping by sometime during the day.  My Granddaughter said that she invited him.  I was totally crushed when I left their house.  I had a hard time getting to sleep last night .   I have presents and two birthday cards ready for my Granddaughter.  I will miss opening presents and birthday cake with her.   My Daughter never gives me pictures that she takes.

On January 18, 2008 my husband of 2 years left because my 19 year old daughter took up for me and ended up slapping my husbands
face.  She appologized for the act but not for the reason behind it.  My husband went to the sheriff and pressed charges of domestic
violence against my daughter, but then had them dropped.  She has always been for us getting married, having other children, etc.
this one time incident has caused him to be gone for 4 months, and during this time, he has paid none of the bills (he is a teacher
making about 56,000 per year, and I work part time at my church making about 6,200 per year.  I have asked repeatedly for him to
come home . . .I get the run around . . .I am taking care or our 16 month old twin boys with no help from him.  Bottom line is he
will not budge on coming home, but won't give me a good reason why.  How long do I wait on him.  I have a hard time making ends
meet, but it will make him VERY angry if I seek a legal separation in order to get some help.  Any advice would be helpful.

Thank you in advance

First off what do you mean they sided with the rapist? I am just outraged at this and I am so sorry that you are going threw it with your own family. I am going threw my own hell of stuff too... but this is outragious. I wish I had something good to say to you but with family like that who needs enemies. I would just let them be and move on with your own life and try to get as much help you can for what took place with you back then and understand that it was not your fault and they should all be ashamed of themselves and for your Mother and Father to tell you you should of just kept your mouth shut... Are you kidding me???  They need help. You never should of kept your mouth shut from Day 1 but you did for your Aunt. Now look what that has gotten you.. You dont need people like that, even though it is your own family move on and get some counceling for it and see if it will help. I know it is very hard to let go but that is not the response I would of thought you would get with something like that. They should all be ashamed and maybe someday they will see the pain they have caused you and realize that you had held onto this for many years and it was bound to explode sooner or later. I am sorry for your pain and for having family like them. Good Luck and God Bless

Get a leagal seperation and see how fast he acts then.. Screw that.. Dont stay and wait!! You need help now. If he touches you or hurts you in anyway, threating or other wise call the police. You have children who need you. That comes first and if he does not have a good enough reason for not coming home by now to be honest with you. I would file for divorse. He is living the life isint he.. ACT now NOT  later.

the reason that he left was lame. It sounds like he was looking for a reason to go...
You have children who need you; I urge you to take action ASAP. Don’t wait around, hoping and wishing for him to come home. You can’t allow yourself to be scared of what he might do or say in regards to you seeking legal counsel- you are a grown adult, and only YOU are responsible for yourself. This man doesn’t control you; at least, he shouldn’t control you. Take back your power!
If you feel that you can’t do this for yourself, then I urge you to do it for your children. As a parent, I know that you want your children to have better then you’ve had. You want them to grow up to be healthy, happy, respectful and productive members of society. You do that by being an example for them. If you continue in this relationship the way that it is, you are teaching them that it is fine to intimidate/threaten the people you claim to ‘love,’ and they will grow up thinking it is ‘normal’ to disrespect women. They will grow up, seek out a mate, and repeat this dysfunctional pattern for themselves; I know that you want much more for them. That means that you have to take action now. I wish you the best- your babies need and deserve financial support! Also, if your husband won’t give you concrete reasons as to why he isn’t coming home, the reasons can’t be good. If they were good, he’d be speaking them. He’s hiding something. It is time for you to take control of your life. I wish you the best!

I would like to know what is the Meaning of Family? I know that I am a part of a Family but not sure if I am expecting to much from some of my extended Family Members? Sister in laws, Brother in laws? Anyone want to take a shot at it?

Ok, Is it ok that your husband has a conversation with daughter and tells her it is between her and him and the wall and that she should not tell me about what they talked about or what he has said to her? It is about a extended family issue that has gone on and it is not for me to know about what he said? She is 16. Please any answers or opinions.!!  

my father just told my mom that after 25 years of being married he is gay my mom is hurt what can i do my brothers are mad at me and im the only one my dad can talk to so what do i do

I agree 100% with this reply. It sounds like he was waiting for the right time to leave. Did maybe he do something he knew would cause your daughter to slap him, so he could have a reason to leave? It is a very LAME reason to leave you and the rest of the family. It is time to face reality, he was waiting for the perfect opportunity to leave. You need to move on, you have to much responsibilty to wait on him. Your children need you! Why are they being bunished for his actions of immaturity?