Topic : Toxic Family Relationships
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June 20, 2006, 9:22 am PDT
 Quote From: jeffbean Hello to Everyone!!! I need some advice. I first want to say I ma sorry if this is confusing. I am highly dyslexic and I am not eh best writer.
This is such as complete situation I do not even know where to start. It all started when my wife's parents decided to get a divorce. The decision was made in such an odd way. Her mother kicked him out of the house, got a retraining order so he can not have contact with his wife nor his kids. Then she had her oldest son (17 yo) tell his father she wanted a divorce. Come to find out she was involved in a sexual relationship with some one else, who was married. Two weeks after she got the restraining order she set up a situation where she put him in a situation where his retraining order would be breached, and once he took the bait called the cops and had him put in jail.
I do not want to say that he is the perfect person he does have an anger management problem, but has never touched her nor his kids. After getting out of jail he then calls DCFS and is having them investigate her for neglect. Which is a true concern I have. He has also reported her to multiple agencies for other things just to get her worse.
They have 5 children under the age of 18 the youngest being 3 and one of the children is autistic. Since her husband has not been able to see her nor the kids she has been having her 17 yo son take care of the kids while she is out all night with her boyfriend. She has her 17 yo son buy all of the food and feed the kids while she is out doing what ever.
This whole situation is just out of control. The whole relationship between the two of them is who can get who the worst with no regard to the children.
They both call all of their older children, my wife being one of them to threaten that if we are not on their side that they will do things to us. Her mother threaten me that if I do not get my wife to be on her side that she would call DCFS and make something up about my wife that would make them believe that my daughter was in danger. Thant was the last straw for me and I have told her that if she calls us again or had any contact with us that I would get a restraining order and press charges. My ultimate job is to protect my wife and my daughter, so I did. This happened 3 weeks ago. We have not seen or heard from her since.
So here comes my questions.
What about the younger kids?
My wife's mother has started to blackmail her younger children with lavish gifts and threats of not providing what they need if they do not tell the DCFS people what they want to hear. This ranges from how great she is as a mother to telling lies about their father. This was told this by one of the other children still living in the home. When I see the littlest children that are depressed and very withdrawn. They seemed to be told by their mother so many times how bad their father is that they seemed to be starting to believe it. The kids are being the pones in this and their needs are being placed second behind their parents childish game of who can get who the worst. My wife does not to call DCFS. Is my job to support her? or do I call DCFS myself?
The threat that my wife's mother made implying that my wife is a bad mother really hurt her. She has been upset and distraught that her own mother would even threaten her like that. My wife is a wonderful mother and is the most caring person. I have supported her to the best of my ability, but she still is very distraught and is hurting. Is their anything else I can do at this point to support her?
Lastly, this whole situation has begun to take a toll on both my wife and I. Should we stay completely out of this whole horrible situation or do we have a responsibility to stay intertwined in the situation because of my wife's young siblings?
Thank You Since a call has already been made to DCFS, why do you think it's necessary for you to call? Since your wife has told you she doesn't want to call DCFS, why would you even ask if you should support her or make the call yourself... when DCFS has already been called? In my opinion, threatening your wife's mother with a restraining order/press charges if she calls or has any contact with you/your wife and wanting to call DCFS ... is no different than the games her mother and father are playing.
I would suggest you read Life Strategies by Dr Phil. It will benefit you, your marriage and your other relationships. |
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June 20, 2006, 9:59 am PDT
Quote From: minmin22 I believe Love and family are the only things that really matter in life. Which is ironic because thats whats caused the most pain. I'm 22 my mother has lied to me for exactly 22 yrs. Keeping me from a man who knows nothing of me. His only fault was being black. I grew up being reminded just what color I was. There was little "I love you" spoken just heres the shoes u wanted.(buying me). Till this day she still buys n lies. The life she chose for me has really given me issues. I Love her but hate her at the same time. Thats my mother, my only parent how do i draw the line enough is enough. She stole another life me and even now as an adult she continues to break my heart. If a mother can do it without a blink of an eye, what hope do I have in believing in anyone else? If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is that u will never understand someone else's actions until u can live in their shoes. Especially when it comes to parents, until u have lived and experienced the life experiences they have it is hard to understand. Most parents think that what they do they do because it is the right thing. Not that it hurts any less, try to see it from your mom's side. Maybe if u can talk to her and not in a judging way she will open up to you. Maybe she is afraid that if you know more than you do that you will be hurt. Let her know that your heart can handle anything, good bad or ugly, and you are ready to know. I suspect her worse fear is that you will totally hate her if she tells all, or maybe she is ashamed to reveal a part of her life that she is not ready to. It sounds like her past was painful in some way for her. Stop taking what she buys, let her know you want answers, not shoes. Just make sure that you are really ready for an answer. |
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June 20, 2006, 10:13 am PDT
Quote From: jeffbean Hello to Everyone!!! I need some advice. I first want to say I ma sorry if this is confusing. I am highly dyslexic and I am not eh best writer.
This is such as complete situation I do not even know where to start. It all started when my wife's parents decided to get a divorce. The decision was made in such an odd way. Her mother kicked him out of the house, got a retraining order so he can not have contact with his wife nor his kids. Then she had her oldest son (17 yo) tell his father she wanted a divorce. Come to find out she was involved in a sexual relationship with some one else, who was married. Two weeks after she got the restraining order she set up a situation where she put him in a situation where his retraining order would be breached, and once he took the bait called the cops and had him put in jail.
I do not want to say that he is the perfect person he does have an anger management problem, but has never touched her nor his kids. After getting out of jail he then calls DCFS and is having them investigate her for neglect. Which is a true concern I have. He has also reported her to multiple agencies for other things just to get her worse.
They have 5 children under the age of 18 the youngest being 3 and one of the children is autistic. Since her husband has not been able to see her nor the kids she has been having her 17 yo son take care of the kids while she is out all night with her boyfriend. She has her 17 yo son buy all of the food and feed the kids while she is out doing what ever.
This whole situation is just out of control. The whole relationship between the two of them is who can get who the worst with no regard to the children.
They both call all of their older children, my wife being one of them to threaten that if we are not on their side that they will do things to us. Her mother threaten me that if I do not get my wife to be on her side that she would call DCFS and make something up about my wife that would make them believe that my daughter was in danger. Thant was the last straw for me and I have told her that if she calls us again or had any contact with us that I would get a restraining order and press charges. My ultimate job is to protect my wife and my daughter, so I did. This happened 3 weeks ago. We have not seen or heard from her since.
So here comes my questions.
What about the younger kids?
My wife's mother has started to blackmail her younger children with lavish gifts and threats of not providing what they need if they do not tell the DCFS people what they want to hear. This ranges from how great she is as a mother to telling lies about their father. This was told this by one of the other children still living in the home. When I see the littlest children that are depressed and very withdrawn. They seemed to be told by their mother so many times how bad their father is that they seemed to be starting to believe it. The kids are being the pones in this and their needs are being placed second behind their parents childish game of who can get who the worst. My wife does not to call DCFS. Is my job to support her? or do I call DCFS myself?
The threat that my wife's mother made implying that my wife is a bad mother really hurt her. She has been upset and distraught that her own mother would even threaten her like that. My wife is a wonderful mother and is the most caring person. I have supported her to the best of my ability, but she still is very distraught and is hurting. Is their anything else I can do at this point to support her?
Lastly, this whole situation has begun to take a toll on both my wife and I. Should we stay completely out of this whole horrible situation or do we have a responsibility to stay intertwined in the situation because of my wife's young siblings?
Thank You I think in this situation your priority is to protect your family. I would call DCFS, but not to put in a complaint of your mother in law, but to ask their advice on what to do. Let them know that "this person" is threatening to discredit you and your wife as parents if you don't go along with them, and ask what to do to protect yourselves. This will put your names in as a "heads up" if someone actually does call, and they will have been forwarned that it is nothing more than a strategy on someone else's part to get the upper hand. As far as your wife being hurt by what her mom said, people say and do desparate things when they are desparate. As hard as it is, tell her to not take it to heart. I don't have siblings that much younger than me so I wouldn't know what to do there. I do know that no matter who it is, if I see a child being neglected or being abused I act on it. How you act on it has to be your own conscience. Good Luck |
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June 20, 2006, 4:34 pm PDT
Quote From: bonk1964 My family has been keeping an awful secret for years, and now I am dealing with the pain of it all, and I am not sure what to do.
When I was was eleven years old I was molested by my brother-in-law. My sister is 14 years older than me. I told my other sister who was 16 at the time, and she convinced me to tell my parents. I told my mom even though I was scared because I was convinced it was my fault. My mom asked me if I wanted her to tell my sister, and being ashamed I gave the typical eleven year old girl answer which was no. My step-father had a talk with my brother-in-law, and that stopped him harrassing me, but since then he is still a pervert, and I am so scared for his next victim.
I am now 23 and have had my first child, and I don't want him around him. I can't take it. I have been so upset with this I have missed many family gatherings because I don't know what to do. My other sister doesn't want her child around him either. Every time I see him I just think of what he did to me, and I am having a hard time getting past this. What do I do? I know that hearing the words "you're not alone" doesn't help you feel better, I know because I grew up in an extremely emotional and psychological abusive family. When I was 7 years old, my only sister was 2 years old and our mother married for the second time. Our biological father died in vietnam. From an early age I somehow learned how to detect people who would try to hurt others, especially children in anyway they could. I know now at the age of 43 that the reason I had that ability was because God or an angel was right beside me protecting me, giving me that gift because my own mother was unable and unwilling to protect her own children. Unfortunately, my sister wasn't as lucky as me. I knew that he was not my father and I knew that I could never trust him to be my father figure so I completely stayed away from him. Due to that I was ignored and punished for it. For example, my mother, sister, and so-called father would watch tv in their bedroom at nights, all of them in the bed. I wasn't allowed to watch tv in their room because I would not lay in bed with them. On occasion, maybe once or twice I got to watch a movie with them in there, but I had to sit on the floor at the bottom of the bed. Back then I felt hurt and lonely and mainly unloved and thought that was cruel. Today I know that the way they treated me was actually a Godsend. Due to their cruelness saved me from being molested by my step-father. My sister finally told me everything our step-father did to her when she was 25 years old. When she told me about what happened to her brought back memories that I had buried. I can remember when my sister was about 8 or 9 years old she would have hickies on her arms, stomach, neck and probably other places that I never saw, but she would complain to our mother about it because she was getting teased at school. My mother never did a thing about it. I know that there is nothing more afflicting and painful as being a victim of molestation. The whole time my sister was being molested over a period of years not only did my mother know about it, she was in the same bed totally aware of what was happening as my sister was being molested. I honestly do not know how my sister handles the inner turmoil that permeates her or how she deals with the pain. It did not happen to me, yet I feel her pain and have my own pain from her experience. What our step-father did was wrong but I spend more time feeling more pain thinking about how my own mother let this happen. It pains me to no end knowing my mother did nothing to protect my sister and I've given up on wondering how my mother can even live with herself. I no longer communicate with my mother, step-father, or my sister because to this day they still live in that sickness. When my sister told my of her circumstance she told me that when she had children that she would never allow them to be around our step-father. She now has 2 daughters, 10 and 7. My mother and step-father have her daughters at their house without my sister or her husband a lot. She allows her daughters to go places alone with our step-father. I've heard that child molesters are just that because they themselves were molested as children. I guess my sister has fallen into my mother's footsteps by choosing to ignore, forget, or live in denial to the reality of what happened and to what I know in my heart has happened to my dear nieces by this man. Years ago when I would get angry about all of this and confront my mother about it she told me that if I did not like it that it was up to me to break the cycle. Breaking the cycle is exactly what I did and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It was like I lost my whole family in a terrible accident. Doing so did not happen overnight. It took several years but when I finally did so it took another several years grieving for the loss of my mother and sister and my nieces. That has been very painful for me. It has now been 6 years for me of being free of the sickness, for that I feel blessed. The downfall for breaking the cycle is the loss of loved ones and the grieving, but it is all worth it because it frees you of the sickness but most importantly it saves and protects your children so they don't have to experience any of the sickness. The grieving never stops but it does get easier. I call it the good-bye and godbless process. I truly feel your pain and turmoil and I hope in time that you can find the answers within yourself and that one day you can reclaim your power. I've gone to counseling on and off for about 20 years. It does help, but until I helped myself by reclaiming my power and breaking the cycle did I get healthier. There is no pill, magic spell, or any words of wisdom that will ever make you feel better. Only you and you alone with God and the truth will you feel better, healthier, and normal again. I truly wish you the best on journey to find the answers you are looking for. God Bless, Kelly |
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June 21, 2006, 7:11 am PDT
Quote From: openarms My husband and I have fought from day one to share custody of his daughter with his ex. My hubby gave the ex sole custody in 2002, thinking if it shuts her up then he'll give her the title, even though we were the ones who did everything for his daughter, I mean everything! Now the ex has decided that she wants to move an hour away which will eliminate our access from 3 or 4 days a week to every second weekend. I felt as I could not let our family be torn apart and I have been so angery at my hubby for the decision WE made to just let her have the title of sole custody. All the lawyers that we have spoken with tell us that it is a waste of money and because she has went for court costs in the past she will do it again. We have recently filed for bankruptsy due to all the lost money and unpaid bills due to legal fees. We have a 2 year old son together and I cannot offer him alot of things because of the expenses of court costs. I wish we could just get along with hubbys ex and agree for "our" daughters sake, it is hurting everyone, especially the kids. I need advise, do I give up and just let our daughter go with her mom and visit every other weekend, or should I end the fighting, even though it will mean less benifits for my step-daughter and try to peice back together my broken little family. My hubby depends on me to help him make these choices, i'm scared to make the choice and regret it when it's too late. I want a peacful life, no fighting and arguing, with hubby or his ex, but having my step-daughter just come over every second weekend will hurt us so badly, especially my 2 year old son who idiolises her. Any advise for a young broken family? I wish I had something encouraging to tell you, but my husband's past experience was similar to yours and there was no positive outcome. He couldn't afford a lawyer for a prolonged legal battle, so he agreed to giving her sole custody with him receiving visitation. It was a huge mistake, he thought it meant physical custody only and that they would primarily live with her. He had no idea it basically eliminated his rights as a parent.
A few years after the divorce, he married me, we have two children together. Meanwhile, we discovered that her new husband had been arrested twice for assaulting her. There were periods of months when my husband wasn't allowed visitation or even telephone contact with the children. We got so desperate that, after discovering the arrest, we contacted Child Protective Services just to find out if they could tell us if the kids were okay. This only enraged her further, and what little contact we had was terminated by her. We contacted a lawyer to find out what our options were and were told that we had a chance of getting at least joint custody and restoring visitation, but we would probably not get physical custody unless there was adequate proof that children were being abused. Even so, all of this would've cost thousands of dollars that we didn't have, so we were advised to "play nice" with her and try to get back into the kids lives that way until we could raise the money to go to court.. One daughter was hit by a car, we were never told. Two kids got braces that we were supposed to pay for, but had no say in when the braces were put on. (Waiting six months would have been much less of a financial burden on us.) They routinely have medical treatment that we're not consulted about. We have no input into how they live their lives. We never even get to talk to them on the phone.
As it stands now, the children have been so brainwashed by their mother that Father's Day came and went with no card and no call, same with my husband's birthday. He calls them, they don't answer. He leaves messages, they don't call back. He sends emails, birthday cards, etc. and they don't respond. The children are now teenagers with their own cell phones and, one would think, be old enough, mature enough and responsibile to get in touch with him if they wanted to. But they don't.
My advice is that if you don't have the bucks to hire a high-power attorney, then make the most of the time you have with your daughter and do everything you can not to rock the boat with her mother. Even with a lawyer, there's no guarantee that you'd win. And even if you did win, what would you lose in the fight with regard to family harmony, peace with the mother, emotional damage to your children and your marriage, etc. My marriage is hanging on by a thread, thanks to a vindictive ex-wife and her manipulation of my husband by using the children to get to us. Avoid hostility at all costs. GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL! |
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June 21, 2006, 7:36 am PDT
Quote From: azheather I have an issue with my mother, that has been going on for awhile now. I have never come right out and said anything to her for fear of her getting pissed off and not talking to me which is what she likes to do. We are already not talking because of another issue I had with her. My problem is that I have my 3 children 6,5, and 1 that call my mother (their grandma) Mom. This started when my daughter first learned to talk. When my daughter was first born I asked my mother what she wanted to be called instead of grandma. She replied by saying somthing stupid like "well, they can call me whatever they decide to call me, if they want to call me bitch then they call me bitch". I just ignored her response and didnt really think much more about it. We just started calling her grandma. I dont know when it started but she had be babysitting my kids off and on up until my daughter was 3. Well by then they both were calling her mom, and I was to scared to ever say anything. I never should have been scared, and I should have stopped it back then. Now my children call her mom all the time. They know her as mom. When we are in stores people hear this and automaticly think she is their mom. I hate hearing family members say to them "how's you mom" meaning how is your grandma. I hate it so much. I feel like I have to stop this now, or it will never end. Am I being rude by telling her I dont want my kids to call her mom anymore? I just cant believe that she would even want them calle her mom. I would never let my future grandkids ever call me mom, and if they did I would correct them. The only time I think that would be appropriate would be if you were raised by your grandma, and she was the only mother you knew.
Please give me some advice!!
Thank You I can't believe you even have to ask for advice on this one, the answer is as plain as day. I suspect you know the answer, but just need some validation for how you feel. Well, here it is! YOU are your children's mother and only YOU have the right to be called Mom. Even if you dropped dead tomorrow, YOU AND ONLY YOU are your children's mother and the only person whom they should ever refer to as MOM.
It sounds to me like you have a problem I am very familiar with... a mother who feels some need to claim your children as her own. My son was visiting my parents for a week one summer and told my mother that he missed me and wanted his Mama. She told him, "You can pretend that I'm your Mama." Well, that was the end of that. I set my son straight on who Mama is and who Mama is NOT, which he already knew, as we are very close. I did the same with my mother and told her to cut it out or I'd cut her off. We have not had the problem since. You need to be frank with your mother and tell her how much it hurts you that she's trying to assume your place in the children's lives. Advise her that the children have a mother - YOU - and that she can either participate in their lives as their grandmother or not at all.
Stand firm... children don't stay children forever and we only get one chance to raise them. Your chance is now, so don't blow it. Also, it isn't at all healthy for your relationship with your mother to allow this to continue. Make the change now for all your sakes. |
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June 21, 2006, 7:59 am PDT
Quote From: magiemormn So my family converted to Mormonism 3 yrs ago. When we first looked into it, my husband's brother and the brother's wife (Harry* and Kathy*) began feeding us "love the Mormons and open their eyes" literature (aka: anti-Mormon or hate literature). Throughout the past 3 years there has always been this cycle. Harry and Kathy become close, we hang out, and then after a few months they give up on "saving" us and ignore us for lengthy time periods. Recently, they planned a holiday gathering (a family one) without even telling us - the disturbing fact, no one in the family told us. We actually, "caught" them and that's how we found out. We've tried everything we can think of to bridge this gap - most recently trying to address the subject (between my husband and his brother) and Harry simply ignored the question and to this day still does. I know my brother in law hates me because he blames me for his brother's conversion. Any adivce on how to overcome this? (I am currently reading, "A Mormon & an Evangelical in Conversation How Wide the Divide?" by co-authors Craig L. Blomberg - Evangelical Scholar & Stephen E. Robinson - LDS Scholar. I am reading this because my in-laws are Evangelicals and I want to try to understand them better so as to try to fix this.) Some people view Mormonism as a cult or, at least, not a "valid, mainstream" religion. I personally have doubts about the validity of most organized religions, but that's just me. My opinion is that one's religious beliefs - or disbeliefs, whatever - are a very personal thing and, as such, should be a very private thing. They should never be forced onto someone else. You may have to make a choice between your family and your religion. Your family may have to make a choice between accepting you in spite of your religious beliefs or not accepting you at all. Either way, you all have the right to your own opinions and the gap may never be bridged.
This may just be something you have to accept to continue in the religious path you have chosen. If it is clear to you that your family will not include you in any gatherings because of your religion, then that's the way it is. You can't force them to embrace the same beliefs as you or to accept you when your religious choices are so different from their own. I would have a frank discussion with all family members concerned, a family meeting, and put it out there that you must all agree to respect and accept one another's religious beliefs in order for you all to be participating, contributing family members. You may need to ask them point blank if they intend to "disown" you because of this situation and go from there. But there's no book, no leaflet, no article you can read, no exercise you can try that will change some people's minds, especially when it comes to a touchy subject like religion. |
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June 21, 2006, 8:11 am PDT
Quote From: tammyo1973 My homelife was abusive from a young age. Mental and verbal and emotional mostly. I have been punched by my dad. THings ended up being good with us until I married a nice man and my dad lost control of me. My hubby works 80-100 hours aweek, I get to stay home. We have a really nice house. I have 2 children, one from a boyfriend 14 years ago and our toddler who is 3. My 14 yr odl was molested by an ex husband of mine. She has been diagnosed with bipolar, ptsd, and anxiety disorder. My parents wanted me to NOT press charges on ex husband for the molestation. ARE THEY CRAZY i guess so. Then when my daughter was diagnosed with bipolar, they told me it was my fault and if my husband and myself would spend more time with her she would be ok. We live with her so we spend all our time with her... I had to have her admitted to a psych hospital (not fun for a mom) and my dad said I should be the one who is locked up. Anyhow things go tso back we stopped talking for about 1 year. I have begun speaking to them again but cannot get past the last couple years of the stuff with my daughter. Whenever I bring her up in conversation and what is going on with her illness they change the subject or tell me to go to schurch. I do go to church and do not get me wrong I believe and have faith. BUT a mental illness just doesn't go away. Why don't they get it, I try to not talk about my daughter with them and then they say they feel left out. SO then I end up not talking to them at all. Am I wrong? If you can go to sleep at night knowing in your heart of hearts that you are doing the absolute best parenting job you can do, then no, you are not wrong. If you want your parents in your life, you may have to find a way to filter out the negative things they say and avoid all the hot-button issues you can with them. You may need to learn to let it roll off, instead of taking it to heart. You are not what/who they say you are, you are what/who you know you are. Stop letting their opinions about you decide your life for you.
You may need to sit them down and tell them what topics are "off limits" for you to continue having a relationship with them. Your first priority and your first loyalty is not to your parents, but to your children and your husband. Tell them point blank, "You may not agree with me or understand my position, but I feel that your treatment of me is unfair, hurtful and possibly abusive. I want you to be in my life, but only if you can be a positive force, rather than a negative one. I have too much on my plate to continue being your target. If you cannot be positive and supportive, then I will limit my and my family's contact with you permanently."
The best advice I ever got was from a boss who once told me, "Don't ever let other people dictate your emotions to you." In other words, don't let them make you cry. If you can separate yourself from them emotionally, then it may be possible for you to continue having a relationship with your parents, because whatever they do or say won't have any power over you. I've learned from years of hostility between me and my mother how to co-exist peacefully by blowing her off when need be. I shake my head and let it go. As long as their barbs continue to hit home, it will only continue to hurt you and your family and you need to protect yourselves from that. |
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June 21, 2006, 8:57 am PDT
HI everyone,
My mom is a recovering addict who started using drugs specifically cocaine again. I am 25 and this has been happening now for one entire year!!
I have done everything I can to try and convince her to stop. the problem is her life partner is also a recovering addict and has ALSO been relapsing for an entire year. She is confused, weak ( right now) and is miserable, yet she comes up with all kinds of excuses why she can't leave her situation and change her life......she is miserable and feels powerless....What more can I do to help? I have given her rehab brochures, helpline telephone numbers? and I have asked her to call me when she wants help....so far nothing is working. The temptations are all in front of her, blinding her from what she is capable of. I am scared and worried that the future will be black because I can't continue to be around her because My thoughts are so consumed about how to help her when it seems like she doesn't want help!!
Any insight will be greatly appreciated, Thank you! Sherisse |
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June 21, 2006, 9:19 pm PDT
I am a 46 year old male. I have been married just a tad over 6 years. Ever since I got married my sister has become impossible to deal with. Here is a little back ground. My sister is about 9 years older then I am and she is a complete control freak. She is one of those people that never makes a mistake, never tells a lie, is always right about EVERYTHING and must have everything done her way at her convenience., if she doesn't get it, she then starts acting like a 2 year and turns into the wicked witch of the west. My parents died back in the early 80s and she tried to assume the role of mother hen. I was in my early 20s at the time and I just couldn't deal with it. I joined the military and just recently retired from the navy with 20 years. Over the 20 years in the military I spent many years over seas. I made many phone calls to my sister to keep the relationship alive and spent many $$$. Out of all the years I spent overseas, she never once called me expect once to let me know a relative died. Both my parents are dead so I have not tried to rock the boat in an attempt to maintain peace between her and another sister. Everytime I came back to the states for visits and stayed with her, I would have to walk around her house on eggshells afraid to say or do anything that would offend her. Well towards the end of my carrer, I got married. From the very first time she met my wife, it became a battle of wills. My wife was never good enough and was always at fault for something. Over the 6 years we've been married it's been one battle after another. I have always been the peace maker. There are only 2 sisters and myself left out our main family members and I have tried my best to maintain harmony between us. Well last August my wife had knee surgery. A few days after my wife came home from the hospital my sister showed up for a visit. Needless to say my sister was expecting to be fully entertained and had little consideration for my wifes knee condition. We tried to go out to dinner but my wife was in so much pain we had to come home. The next day, our electric power went out for all afternoon. She started a scene that her weekend was ruined and just kept on and on. She put my wife into tears. Well, my wife made me realize that I didn't have to take crap off of her. So it ended up a on world war family feud. Since then my sister has spreaded gossip and lies to other family members about us both and has actually turned my oldest sister against us just because she was inconvenienced. My sister is a very selfish and self-center person and I realize she will never change. We have tried to make amends but when we did she started up with more problems. I realize that blood is supposed to be thicker then water, but enough is enough. I could write a book of horrible things she has done over the years. I have been trying to maintain our relationship because there are only 3 of us left but unless she gets her way, she doesn't want to play. I would like some comments advising if the relationship is worth salvaging or should i just let go. I know it has been a stressful situation for us all. |
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