Topic : Toxic Family Relationships

Thanks for the response, Trinket.  I don't know what she's thinkin'.  Blames me for her mistakes.  I know I put her through some changes during her childhood years with my failed relationship with her bio father, divorce from her adoptive father, remarriage to a strong, yet quiet older man.  His presence has helped to gain some control in the household.  

I had an abusive childhood.  My mind was in turmoil for a good while, and Thank God, I'm here today, a productive citizen, never been in trouble with the law.  Got through school, held down fulltime jobs since age 16. 

We did have a falling out Wednesday because I had the nerve to wake her up at 8:30a.m. so she could meet with the financial aid counselor -- her Student Aid Report was ready for review at the school.   She set her alarm for 11:30 so she could get dressed and go to the school before work.   As usual, she gets angry when any uncomfortable subject arises -- responsibility.  Then she went on the verbal attack.  Things escalated and I threw her out.  She disowned me, spat on my marriage and tried to poison my 16 year old against me.   

I tried to get some counseling for us because I know she has a personality disorder, or anger disorder. She is refusing and says I need counseling, not her. 

I'm sad becuase I miss the good side of her.    Yet there is peace in the household. . . 

Good for you!!  I'd help you pack if it were possible!! While you're going through the process, I hope you have music playing and view it as a celebration of your strength, courage and commitment to a better life for you and your son... a journey you have been on for awhile and are now approaching the exit ramp!  How exciting to be there (or maybe it's just a relief and the joy will set in later). Keep in mind all you have accomplished... you have a job you enjoy that also provides medical benefits, you've started your own business, you're close to having your teaching certification for drivers ed and you''ve managed to do it all, in spite of him trying to break your spirit. Which may be another benefit of you and your son living with your  folks for the time being... the "ex" won't be able to "bother" you like he may attempt to do if you were living alone.       

You're an inspiration.  Be proud of yourself.  And if you don't mind, a big hug from me... I'm thrilled for you and your children that this man is about to be history.  Celebrate!           

  My dad died 3 yrs. ago.  My mom did a succession because there was no will.  Then when that was finished she took my brother , myself, and herself to a lawyer and had a partition deed done.  I got the family home, where my husband and I along with our 2 children live.  She reserved the rights to live with us till her death.  Little did we know she was gonna turn into a complete bitch.  She realized she terminated her use of the house and just reserved the rights to live with me and my family.  My brother now is living off away from us.  My mom started trying to boss me around like a 14 yr old,  then tried to put a curfew on me.  I'm 37  been married 16 yrs.  I have a healthy marriage.  She has slapped me on occasions claiming that I smart mouthed her.  She has tried to ground me.  She has gone as far as to tell me that  she had better not catch my husband and I having our private time.  My mom and I have gone to counselors, the law has had to come out and tame her down.  The last time the law told her they would have to take her back with them if they were called out again.  She settled down for a while.  Then she tried calling the social services claiming that i am unfit.  That turned out that i am justified on how i raise my kids.  She was boiling by the point.  She talks about moving out all the time, and i wished she would.  The house is in my name legally.  She has temper tantrums so bad  it just stresses me out.  I am now seeing a heart doctor.  Dont know if it is angina, stress, or the real thing.  I am taking blood pressure medicines.  My opinion  is  she gave me the house as my inheritance, then if any one should move it should be her.  She is talking about moving but not done nothing so far.  I pray everyday about this.  What do i do about a vindictive mom? I know my mom must hate me.  What do i do?