I have deep concerns about an extremely kind woman that I worked with when I was working my way through college. They say that fiction is never as bizzare as truth and I feel that this situation typifies that statement. Let me explain.
As I said I used to work at an office while I was persuing my undergraduate degree and met a woman their who was my coworker. She was in her mid to late 50s, I was 18 at the time and she really took me under her wing there. We would talk alot more than work, she would listen to alot of the concerns that an 18 year old starting college and his first job would have, and was just extremely supportive of me. At the end of my two years of work there she seemed very upset that I was leaving and I will always remember the goofy photoshop letter that she printed off for me that day. While I'm not extremely close with her today, as will become apparent later, I definately care for her.
I no longer live in that town, but my mother still does and works with her at her primary job. Throughout my time working with her I knew that she had cancer and was constantly in treatment for it. Despite the gravity of every situation she was faced with, she would always make it through and get a brief respite from the cancer. She has reached the limit of radiation treatment that is allowed and is currently in remission, but given her past pattern she will likely be faced with a resurggence of the cancer. Essentially she is faced with an indeterminate amount of time to live, but deep down I know that eventually the cancer will win out.
During all of this she was dealing with a particularly insane situation regarding her immediate family. Allow me to explain. Prior to my knowing her there was an incident where her mid 20s aged son who is a drug addict battered her. He had a pattern of abuse and, obviously, this seriously angered her husband. Not wanting to see her son get in trouble, and this makes no sense to me, they decided to blame the incident on her husband and he ended up in anger managment therapy. While he does have some anger issues himself he has never, to my knowledge, been violent towards his wife. During the course of this therapy he confided to the counselor the truth of the incident and the counselor urged him to confront the truth and get them away from her son.
My friend refused, and the situation soon grew worse. Her son got a girl pregnant, also addicted to drugs, and leeched off of her throughout the pregnancy. Throughout the pregnancy my friend seemed in her own world regarding the pregnancy and was very happy about the whole process. She felt these things despite the fact that the mother continued to drink and use drugs during the pregnancy and it seemed almost certain that CPS would take the baby from her when it was born.
She has gone back and forth on kicking her son out and he always ends up living with them again or leeching resources from them. Her husband has threatened divorce and has lived in and out of the house over all of this, but seems to have finally settled back in with her. Her friends repeatedly see her out at the grocery store, struggling through pain to push the cart while her son and his girlfriend lag behind. Her son takes her own painkillers and she allows this and freely admits it. Her rationale is that it is just too much of an ordeal to go against him, so its better to just break down.
I know this woman is very caring and is blinded by some sense because this is her son. She is faced with the prospet of death and the hands of chronic cancer and should not have to be put in this situation. I know I can now do very little. My mother and her co workers have tried to get through to her, but have had no progress with this. Everytime I talk with my mother I hear about this and it saddens me greatly. I know I can do very little personally and while spending time with my mother recently I said jokingly, "They should go on Dr. Phil". As I thought about it I figured, why not give it a shot. So here I am hoping that I might be able to get some advice concerning this situation or possibly a trip on the show. I realize they would have to conset to someting like that, not me, but making a post about it can't hurt anything I suppose.
To those of you that made it through my sprawling, scatterbrained writing, I appreciate it. I'm sure you had serious doubts if I would ever get to the point and I apologize for that. Thank you for soldiering through! :)
