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Topic : 03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas

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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:44:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/18/07) Does it annoy you to no end when someone uses a cell phone at the dinner table or chews with his or her mouth open? Along with author Peggy Post, Dr. Phil tackles the dos and don’ts of etiquette. One issue making recent headlines is appropriate in-flight attire. Kyla was flying to Phoenix on Southwest Airlines when an employee informed her that her outfit was too skimpy. Kyla saw nothing wrong with the way she was dressed and was appalled when she was asked to cover up. Did the airline go overboard, or was Kyla too tantalizing for take-off? Then, Kate took her 19-month-old son on his first flight, but she was removed from the plane when he became too talkative. Was the airline out of line for telling Kate to shut her baby up? Peggy Post weighs in on this polarizing problem. And, Joan says she doesn’t have any peace at home because of all the noise her family makes – from loud chewing to clinking dinnerware. Her husband, Bob, says he and their three children have to walk on eggshells around Joan just to eat dinner. Is Joan overly sensitive, or does her family need to be reined in? Plus, meet a woman who says her husband’s bad manners didn’t disturb her until she had a baby, and a guest who nominated herself as having the worst etiquette in the country! Share your own etiquette peeves and join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More September 2007 Show Boards.


 
reach1
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March 15, 2008, 8:20 pm PDT

Not ADD, I don't think

Quote From: roadtoimprove

Wow,  I am not the only person who has all these signs:  they all fit me to a T.

The clinking of a spoon against a bowl, is something that I can hear 3 rooms away, and send me over the roof!  Ice-chewing, I can't take it,  I literally have to leave the room!  Clocks ticking are soo distracting that it is the only noise that I focus on.  Windshield wipers with a noise are completely irritating to me.  Any repetitive noise, like someone bouncing a basketball right next to me, a pencil tapping, and gum cracking.  I have literally had to leave events, because I was stuck next to someone who was doing one of these activities.  I am CONSTANTLY telling me kids to stop making these noises.  My husband thinks I am PSYCHO and says that he CAN'T DO ANYTHING because I'm nuts.    I have been made to feel as though I am ruining the household because I also cannot listen to these noises.  It's something that pulls me right to that sound, and I become obsessed with it, even though I don't want to hear it.      What medication is there for this type of possible ADD (now that I know what I have)??     What a relief to hear that I am not just a psycho or a obsessive psycho!!

I don't think it's ADD.  How could it be when I have the same thing and passed the state test for court reporting?  I don't think you could have ADD and do that.  It's something else...  
 
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reach1
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March 15, 2008, 8:24 pm PDT

Soft Sound Syndrome

Quote From: jeneggers



The woman who is driven crazy by her family's slurping, clinking, smacking, etc. may be suffering from Soft Sound Sensitvity Syndrome. I've recently been diagnosed after years of avoiding meals with those closest to me. It's not about etiquette at all! Please see this site:

http://www.hyperacusis-info.org/wst_page10.html
Thanks for the link, but I don't think that's what I have.  Isn't that like Superman hearing?  Since you were diagnosed, what has your doctor recommended you do or take?  I agree it's not about etiquette at all.
 
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reach1
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March 15, 2008, 8:31 pm PDT

No etiquette show

Quote From: granneyk

How come there was no focus on the horrible eating habits and only that the mother should get over it??
As far as I'm concerned, this subject shouldn't even have been on a show about etiquette.  It's way, way more than that!!!
 
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reach1
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March 15, 2008, 8:38 pm PDT

noises

Quote From: theguil

I am just the same.  I even cried when I heard the women talk thinking I was just more intolerante than other people..but I'm very patient with other things so that make me believe that it might be more than tolerance.

 

Iv'e been like that since I'm probably 4 years old...even as today..my parents and brothers tells how I use to repeat the saping noise so they would stop..I use to surround myself with cereal box (they call it my castle) so I would try to block the noise.  They don't know I still have the same problem..I just smile back.

 

As today, I eat in my computer room and wishes sometimes I could eat with my husband but I think he is as happy that I don't eat with him.  I am now pregnant and scare that I will have the same problem with the baby. I will do everything not to show in front of the baby.

 

NOise like sapping, mouse clicking, keyboard, swallowing (yes even that), breathing to loud..

but like Dr.Phil said..the big noise dont' bother me. 

 

the fealing is physical when I hear the noise...I rub my arm just to take off the noise out of me because I feel almost tinglelish...hard to explain.

 

I hope Dr.PHIL will have the tools he expressed on the show because I hate been like that.

 

Sorry for my english as it's not my native language.

 

:) Nice to meet other ...hopefully we will find some help.

I too remember the cereal box trick!!!  I'm going to ask you the same question I've asked others:  Do you remember anything happening at 4 that was very stressful?  (Divorce, a death, surgery)?  And I feel the same ticklish, hard to explain feeling you do but in a different part of the body.  It's not a good feeling, is it?

I can't believe it's just stress if you remember this starting at 4, unless something really stressful happened to you that you can't remember, or maybe you do remember?  Please reply...
 
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March 16, 2008, 9:22 pm PDT

When it started?

Quote From: reach1

Hi Joan, I totally understand the purpose of your kids demonstrating what sounds annoy you.   And people really don't necessarily have to have bad manners to annoy us in that way, do they?  I have a question for you, though.  Do you have any idea, thinking back over your life, when and what may have caused this to start happening?  Dr. Phil didn't ask you anything like that.  And I agree with others that it was definitely the shortest segment in the history of the Dr. Phil show.   He must not have thought it was as rampant as it apparently is, or as devastating to peoples' lives.   It has caused me to make  bad decisions in my life.  But to the question:   Was there any traumatic experience in your life (divorce, death, surgery) that may have caused this to start happening?  Do you remember a specific event when it did start happening?  I have the same thing, so I know exactly how you feel.  You told my story up on that stage, along with many others I can see now.  Just wondering...
I have tried to think about when it started, and I honestly cannot remember for sure.  My sister who is 10 years younger than me says she can remember me getting onto her about noise when she was like 6 years old, so I would have been 16.  I appreciate everyone posting here so at least I know I am not alone. I have also been able to find some help online as a result of learning more about Soft Sound Sensitivity Syndrome.  I also notice that mine is worse during PMS.  Of course everything is magnified THEN. LOL  That is a whole other show.  ;)  I am glad that my appearance helped so many people seek answers and as a result a lot of people are finding out they are not crazy or insane.  I mean we can't ALL be crazy right?
Thank you for bringing this question up.  I will have to give it some more thought. I do know that my dad did not like a lot of noise growing up.  He did not like the radio on in the car and he would be real quick to respond if we talked above a whisper in the back seat of the car, etc.  So, maybe I picked some of it up from him?  I have also learned that some people are only effected by certain people's noise.  Some are even effected the same way just when they get a visual of someone doing something like this.  And you guys are right about one thing, it is impossible for my family to NOT make these noises sometimes.  I mean even certain breathing noises that are just normal things grate on me.
 
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hsmomof6
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March 16, 2008, 9:30 pm PDT

I pinch my own arm sometimes

Quote From: theguil

I am just the same.  I even cried when I heard the women talk thinking I was just more intolerante than other people..but I'm very patient with other things so that make me believe that it might be more than tolerance.

 

Iv'e been like that since I'm probably 4 years old...even as today..my parents and brothers tells how I use to repeat the saping noise so they would stop..I use to surround myself with cereal box (they call it my castle) so I would try to block the noise.  They don't know I still have the same problem..I just smile back.

 

As today, I eat in my computer room and wishes sometimes I could eat with my husband but I think he is as happy that I don't eat with him.  I am now pregnant and scare that I will have the same problem with the baby. I will do everything not to show in front of the baby.

 

NOise like sapping, mouse clicking, keyboard, swallowing (yes even that), breathing to loud..

but like Dr.Phil said..the big noise dont' bother me. 

 

the fealing is physical when I hear the noise...I rub my arm just to take off the noise out of me because I feel almost tinglelish...hard to explain.

 

I hope Dr.PHIL will have the tools he expressed on the show because I hate been like that.

 

Sorry for my english as it's not my native language.

 

:) Nice to meet other ...hopefully we will find some help.

I went in to pay a bill a couple of weeks ago and this girl that was
taking the payments was just SMACKING away on a piece of gum.. I mean
like a cow chews on cud. There were 2 or 3 people in front of me so
it seemed I was having to wait FOREVER. I just kept trying to
inconspicuously cover my ears and kept willing her to stop.. but she
didn't.... OMG.. I was never so glad to get out of a place of
business in MY LIFE! I was so close to telling her "Hey, did you know
I was on Dr. Phil a few months back cuz I can't stand the sound of gum
chewing?" LOL  Anyway, I was actually standing there pinching my own arm, to try to get myself distracted from her noise.
 
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Criss
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March 24, 2008, 11:43 am PDT

I Think Kyla Looks Fantastic!

 

 

                  Southwest was wrong to kick her off the flight!  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that outfit at all.  She looks great! 

 
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ramair
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April 1, 2008, 11:44 am PDT

03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas

Quote From: hsmomof6

I went in to pay a bill a couple of weeks ago and this girl that was
taking the payments was just SMACKING away on a piece of gum.. I mean
like a cow chews on cud. There were 2 or 3 people in front of me so
it seemed I was having to wait FOREVER. I just kept trying to
inconspicuously cover my ears and kept willing her to stop.. but she
didn't.... OMG.. I was never so glad to get out of a place of
business in MY LIFE! I was so close to telling her "Hey, did you know
I was on Dr. Phil a few months back cuz I can't stand the sound of gum
chewing?" LOL  Anyway, I was actually standing there pinching my own arm, to try to get myself distracted from her noise.
I think even "quiet" gum-chewing is out of place in a work environment. When my father was still alive, raising cows during his "retirement" years, gum-chewing women so reminded me of his cows chewing their cud that I'd turn away to keep from laughing.
Hearing it is another matter. It's the gum popping I can't stand. When I worked at Wal-Mart, cutting fabric, a young gal would come in, chewing gum. And every chew was actually a loud pop. I could cut fabric on either side of the table. So, whichever side she approached, I'd cut her fabric on the other.
She also ran a register. Popping so loudly that I could hear her three registers away. So, I'd check out at the furthest open register. Even if it meant a longer wait. Fortunately, she didn't work there long. And, management quit letting cashiers chew gum.
 
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court802
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April 28, 2008, 6:32 pm PDT

03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas

Quote From: annieorwell

I really can't find it in myself to be bothered by something so benign...people who talk on  cell phones while driving, or people who shoot guns in the air, or people who leave garbage cans in bike lanes..things that are dangerous are the only things I can seem to twist my panties over.
Wow. How much gum do YOU have in your mouth, right now?
 
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starlady88
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May 14, 2008, 7:11 am PDT

JetBlue Customer Service Prob

I recently had an awful experience on a flight from Tampa to Boston, from being handed a bunch of napkins and being asked to clean a wad of chewing gum off of my seat belt buckle to then spending the flight at a seat with a non-functioning t.v. and being verbally assaulted by an attendant. Other passengers actually comforted me after the flight as they noted the distress I was in. When I reported it to JetBlue upon my return, I was offered a $15 coupon good on my next flight as compensation for the non-functioning t.v. I declined the coupon, stating that I won't be flying JetBlue in the future.
 
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