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Topic : 03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas

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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:44:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/18/07) Does it annoy you to no end when someone uses a cell phone at the dinner table or chews with his or her mouth open? Along with author Peggy Post, Dr. Phil tackles the dos and don’ts of etiquette. One issue making recent headlines is appropriate in-flight attire. Kyla was flying to Phoenix on Southwest Airlines when an employee informed her that her outfit was too skimpy. Kyla saw nothing wrong with the way she was dressed and was appalled when she was asked to cover up. Did the airline go overboard, or was Kyla too tantalizing for take-off? Then, Kate took her 19-month-old son on his first flight, but she was removed from the plane when he became too talkative. Was the airline out of line for telling Kate to shut her baby up? Peggy Post weighs in on this polarizing problem. And, Joan says she doesn’t have any peace at home because of all the noise her family makes – from loud chewing to clinking dinnerware. Her husband, Bob, says he and their three children have to walk on eggshells around Joan just to eat dinner. Is Joan overly sensitive, or does her family need to be reined in? Plus, meet a woman who says her husband’s bad manners didn’t disturb her until she had a baby, and a guest who nominated herself as having the worst etiquette in the country! Share your own etiquette peeves and join the discussion.

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September 15, 2007, 6:56 pm CDT

Etiquette

Quote From: sallyky

I would like to speak on the topics of cell phones and manners at the table. First, it really irks me when I'm sitting at a meal time and someone has their cell phone turned on and he or she thinks it's so important to answer the thing during that time and then sit there having a conversation with someone else and I've been trying to talk to them. I've been out with friends that are constantly answering their phones whether it's in the automobile, restuarants, shopping, etc. I can understand if they're expecting an important phone call, emergency whatever.

Second, manners at the table is important to me. One thing that comes to mind that use to really set my nerves on edge was when my stepson would make so much noise with his fork and knife. Example: if we were having eggs for breakfast, no matter how they were fixed, he'd take his fork and beat the plate chopping the eggs up into mush. You could hear the clatter 2 rooms away from the kitchen. I found a remedy for that, I bought paper plates and made him use them. Another thing was when I fried chicken he'd take the skin off and throw it on the floor. Needless to say I never took him out to eat. I think people need to be polite no matter where they are. There's no excuse for rudeness.

I am right with you.  I have found with some people a quick solution.  If you are having a conversation with another person and they choose to answer their phone during the conversation, I become quiet. When they finish with the call and ask me okay what were you saying, I inform them - Nothing important.  It is amazing because they suddenly realize they were rude.  It has worked on 4 of my friends so far.  I started this with my husband. 

 

Manners are a reflection of courtesy to one another.  It is civilized and decent. 

 
September 15, 2007, 7:20 pm CDT

ladies' room etiquette

Is there any way we can persuade women who "hang" over the toilet that this is unsanitary and inconsiderate in the extreme.  Some women have to sit, and have to deal with unsavory leftovers.

The solution is really simple.  Simply lift the seat (as a man would nicely do) and put it back down.

It amazes me how women so careful of their own sanitation can be so careless of those who follow them.

This is an indelicate but important etiquette topic.----Judy N

 
September 15, 2007, 7:33 pm CDT

09/18 etiquette

Quote From: karenw

Kyla was legally yet inappropriately attired for a flight. She was unable to sit down without providing a Fruit of the Loom exposure. At least she had Fruit of the Looms on unlike Britney's ongoing exposure. Without a stated dress policy code prohibiting what she wore the airline employee acted inappropriately by chastising her.
 While many think that Kyla's choise of wardrobe was inappropriate, and maybe it was, maybe it wasn't.  First, I'd have to ask, while positioning yourself for a flight, putting away carry on luggage, settling your child into their seats, are people actually "looking" to see if her  or others wearing a short skirt  if "Fruit of the Looms" were being shown?  Also, if they were "Fruit of the Looms" how would you know without being close enough to see the label"?  Personally, I would be more embarrassed to look in that direction.  Also, I just feel there are more important things to think about and focus on.  Kyla obviously needs to take the brunt of this situation, and probably will learn that a more conservive attire might be in her best interest, especially since our public seems to be paying more attention to the actions of others than themselves.   Was Southwest in their rights by having procedures in place for a "dress code",  I'm not a lawyer, but  unfortunately we live in a society that if you sneeze in the wrong direction will provoke a lawsuit.  So sad!!! When will people start taking responsibility for their own actions instead of blaming others for their actions or results of their actions.  I think people need to pay more attention to what they are doing instead of what others are doing.  If Kyla dresses that way on a regular basis, so be it, whom is it for us to judge.  She wasn't naked or performing some lewd act.  She is just an individual that is attractive and feels comfortable in such attire.  I've definitely seen alot worse.  If I had been on that plane, I would have never noticed her attire and couldn't have cared less unless she was obviously showing more of herself.  And if I did, it would be only a moments passing before I pulled out a good book to read on the flight.  People need to relax!!!!!!!!  There are more important things to think about.
 
September 15, 2007, 7:56 pm CDT

MAYBE I'M OLD FASHIONED, BUT...

I think the skirt the young (Hooter's employee) lady was wearing was NOT appropriate for traveling.  I did see her interview with Matt Lauer and it looked like she had the skirt pulled down as far as it would go, which was below, way below her hip line.  You could even see her hip bones protruding.  I shudder to think what it would have looked like if she hadn't done that.  Also, her top was pulled down to cover her abdomen and the first time she would have had to reach up to get her luggage from the overhead, she would have been over-exposed.  I'm surprised her mother thought the outfit was just fine.  It would be fine in her work place, but not on a public conveyance.  What if she dropped something and had to bend down to pick it up....Oh! my goodness! 

 

In my humble opinion, I think the girl is an exibitionist and looking for attention.  Unfortunately, her outfit  would probably draw  the wrong kind of attention.  Where is common sense when it's needed?  I think the airline employee did the right thing and I don't think they owe her an apology.

 
September 15, 2007, 8:03 pm CDT

Chewing Ice

Quote From: hudstud

What drives me through the wall is someone who chews their ice!!!  I almost have to leave the room.  Anybody else have this problem?

Years ago, I worked at a car rental place that had several locations.  One of the girls at another location used to call my office and complain about another girl who worked with her who chewed ice all day long.  One day someone put vinegar in the ice cube tray.  Boy! was the ice chewer surprised!   I don't remember any more complaints after that.                  

 
September 15, 2007, 9:11 pm CDT

Let's hear from the Southwest employee

We have heard enough from "poor" Kyla, let's hear from the passengers and employees on this flight.  I'm sure her revealing outfit must have offended more than just one flight attendant.  She was probably revealing more than just legs.  She hasn't shown us the underwear she was wearing, if she was wearing any.  She may have been exposing herself on that plane.  We need to hear both sides of the story and not just this money seeking "Hooters" girl's side.
 
September 15, 2007, 9:23 pm CDT

America put your clothes on!!

In my opinion it is very violating to have to be in the same room with a women who chooses to expose herself to everyone, in the same way  that I would feel violated if a male exposed himself around me in public.  Exept the male would be arrested.  Why aren't these women arrested.  Women can still look very attractive without exposing most of their skin to everyone.  And, this is not a JEALOUS tactic, it is reality.... I have fairly large breasts, and they get enough attention just being there, I never have to show any skin to notice people looking at them.  SO Cover up, because the people are tired of being violated by you female exposers out there.

 
September 15, 2007, 11:08 pm CDT

cell phones and eating out

Quote From: sallyky

I would like to speak on the topics of cell phones and manners at the table. First, it really irks me when I'm sitting at a meal time and someone has their cell phone turned on and he or she thinks it's so important to answer the thing during that time and then sit there having a conversation with someone else and I've been trying to talk to them. I've been out with friends that are constantly answering their phones whether it's in the automobile, restuarants, shopping, etc. I can understand if they're expecting an important phone call, emergency whatever.

Second, manners at the table is important to me. One thing that comes to mind that use to really set my nerves on edge was when my stepson would make so much noise with his fork and knife. Example: if we were having eggs for breakfast, no matter how they were fixed, he'd take his fork and beat the plate chopping the eggs up into mush. You could hear the clatter 2 rooms away from the kitchen. I found a remedy for that, I bought paper plates and made him use them. Another thing was when I fried chicken he'd take the skin off and throw it on the floor. Needless to say I never took him out to eat. I think people need to be polite no matter where they are. There's no excuse for rudeness.

I agree with you about people using the phone when eating out. It is rude as all get out. If you have to get on the phone, I believe you should excuse yourself, but only for a short time.  I was so upset one day by someone close to me when we went out to eat.  A family member of ours calls all the time, esp when they know certain times are not good. but the person I was with refuses not to answer their call.  Well, he got up and went to the foyer or the restaurant we were in and left me to eat along.  I thought ok, I will go ahead and eat.  It was a buffet and I took my time. 20 mins. later after several tea refills etc.. I was finished. So I got up and walked right past the person and was walking out the door as they noticed and I heard him say, hey wait where are you going?  I said Home!!  I am finished!  We were in separate vehicles.  Well, later I get several calls and refused to answer.  Things like I cannot believe you left the table, they cleared it and I had to start all over etc...etc..  were on my voicemail .   I refused to answer as I said. I went on and did some shopping we had planned to do together and I only got things for myself and the rest of my family.  The person was very angry with me. I told him, you had no right to be angry with me, you are the one that left the table to talk about the same old junk you have to talk about everyday etc... This was suppose to be our time together etc...  Now I REFUSE to go eat with him unless he leaves his cell phone in the vehicle. I keep mine on me just in case one of the children (13-18) has a Real problem and has to call (his choice).  In case you are wondering, it was my hubbie and the caller was his MOTHER!!  (She works at his business and they are together more hours a week than we are) .  She was really upset when he would not answer the calls, it is like I told him, it is me, or the calls!!  Which would you rather have in home in bed with you each night? Well, he chose me!!  After 29 years of marriage, he has finally put some limits on his rude mom!!  I am a Motherinlaw to,  and I always respect my daughter in laws times with their husbands. I make it a point to leave them alone. I told them from the beginning, if you need me call.  Otherwise I will leave you along and will not be a nosey obnoxious person in your life.  To say the least my daughterinlaws and myself are best buddies.  But to say the least this has improved my marriage greatly!! 
We are acting like newlyweds again, but alot more mature ones !  I wish I had done what I did years ago !!

I had to add this, tonight we were at a buffet again and there was a man with a wife and two children and someone called. He was so obnoxious and rude. His children were about 2 & 4.  Anytime they said his name he would be rude and say hush real loud.  His wife was in tears.  Finally her and the children were through and after about 10 more mins. She walked out to the foyer, but sat on a bench with her children and just waited.  I felt so sorry for her.  I wanted to say something , but the way her husband acted with anger towards the children, I felt he just might be an abuser  !! 
ANyway to all you people that do this kind of stuff to your families etc.. it is rude and if you are in an eating place, you deserve to get left !!!
 
 
September 16, 2007, 2:48 am CDT

You want a dress code for women on airlines?

Quote From: karenw

Kyla was legally yet inappropriately attired for a flight. She was unable to sit down without providing a Fruit of the Loom exposure. At least she had Fruit of the Looms on unlike Britney's ongoing exposure. Without a stated dress policy code prohibiting what she wore the airline employee acted inappropriately by chastising her.

Fly the Iranian airline. You'll get women all covered up there for sure, and for all I know, there may be separate seating for women.

 

I hate seeing people  anywhere, men or women, dress a way I consider "cheap." On the other hand, when some people make a point of throwing their piety in my face by the way they dress I don't like it either.

 

I mean chill out folks. As long as there is no dress code, they shouldn't have hassled her.

 
September 16, 2007, 4:20 am CDT

09/18 Etiquette

Quote From: anomalytc

 Dr. Phil,
You got it wrong this time.  Southwest was right to tell that young woman to put more clothes on.  I don't want to see anyone's underwear when I'm in public, male or female.

She had obviously pulled down her skirt and shirt to make it more chaste.  In a civil society we need to wear clothing.  What about social norms and standards?  You got it wrong.  People ned to wear clothes when they go out!


How do you know that DrPhil GOT IT WRONG this time? The show hasn't even aired yet. We don't even know what he has to say on this. This young woman's skirt was much shorter than I would have worn or wanted my 19 year old daughter to wear , but it really wasn't bad enough for the airline to treat her like they did. Not knowing who complained this would just be a guess, but I bet it was some insecure woman who's husband was ogling this young woman.

 
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