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Topic : 03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas

Number of Replies: 1001
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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:44:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/18/07) Does it annoy you to no end when someone uses a cell phone at the dinner table or chews with his or her mouth open? Along with author Peggy Post, Dr. Phil tackles the dos and don’ts of etiquette. One issue making recent headlines is appropriate in-flight attire. Kyla was flying to Phoenix on Southwest Airlines when an employee informed her that her outfit was too skimpy. Kyla saw nothing wrong with the way she was dressed and was appalled when she was asked to cover up. Did the airline go overboard, or was Kyla too tantalizing for take-off? Then, Kate took her 19-month-old son on his first flight, but she was removed from the plane when he became too talkative. Was the airline out of line for telling Kate to shut her baby up? Peggy Post weighs in on this polarizing problem. And, Joan says she doesn’t have any peace at home because of all the noise her family makes – from loud chewing to clinking dinnerware. Her husband, Bob, says he and their three children have to walk on eggshells around Joan just to eat dinner. Is Joan overly sensitive, or does her family need to be reined in? Plus, meet a woman who says her husband’s bad manners didn’t disturb her until she had a baby, and a guest who nominated herself as having the worst etiquette in the country! Share your own etiquette peeves and join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 16, 2007, 5:03 am CDT

My rights, also

Quote From: onoone02

I happen to see Kyla on the Today show with her mother and attorney. Matt interviewed her for several minutes in a close up shot. She was then asked to stand up and show the "outfit" she was wearing on that fateful day. The outfit was nice, the skirt in my opinion was a bit short, but what bothered me, was when she sat down, you could see her underwear; perhaps this was the situation on the plane. Was a family exposed to her exposure, and in trying to protect someone's innocence, did they complain?

 

Kyla said to begin with, she just wanted an apology...but now they are contemplating whether or not to file a lawsuit....is this another situation where a child being told "no" throws a tantrum and we are going to give into that "fit" ???? Our society has become a "I can do what I want no matter what"....laws are blatantly broken and another attorney makes more money and a name for themselves by defending a wrong doing. We need to start thinking others "rights"  as much as we think about our own...it may change society a little.

I agree with you about our rights. Why do we have to see someone else's underware (on other things) because she has a right to dress that way. I saw the Today show also and noticed they had to blurr her crotch area when she sat down. If they had to do that, then it was inappropiate. Why does a person need to wear a skirt that short anyway? What if it was a family who complained because they had to explain things to their children? Don't they have a right for their children to not have to see that? It's getting to a point where a family has no rights against the immoral or indecent.  

 

As far as the small child talking too much, I didn't hear the details about what exactly he was doing to disturb other people. I have been on flights with small children and they were the longest ever, because I had to listen to them cry, or run up and down the isle. When I took my 4 year old and 18 month old to Hawaii I did my research on traveling with children and brought plenty of toys and snacks to keep them occupied. I forced my 18 month old to have a pacifier to help with his ears popping and gave my 4 year old gum to chew. I had compliments about my childrens behavior, so I know children can behave on flights. It's up to the parents to control their behavior.

 
September 16, 2007, 7:46 am CDT

09/18 Etiquette

Quote From: nawithmoos

My husband, also, when he eats soup, has to kling, kling, kling his spoon...on a plate or wors, when he has a bowl of soup. If I don't say a word, and just give him the "look"...he will do it even more.  I've been tempted to buy some "plastic ware" for meals. It would be quieter.  Also when he drinks soda/pop or milk..he SUCKS and GULPS it down, too. Until someone he cares about,  says something...he won't change.
When we go out for coffee it is irritating to have to listen to people who stir their coffee and all the time beating their spoons on the sides of their cups.  How long does it take to stir a little cream into a cup of coffee?
 
September 16, 2007, 8:04 am CDT

09/18 Etiquette

Quote From: judyn39

Is there any way we can persuade women who "hang" over the toilet that this is unsanitary and inconsiderate in the extreme.  Some women have to sit, and have to deal with unsavory leftovers.

The solution is really simple.  Simply lift the seat (as a man would nicely do) and put it back down.

It amazes me how women so careful of their own sanitation can be so careless of those who follow them.

This is an indelicate but important etiquette topic.----Judy N

Judy,

You put this so delicately that most women won't get it.  Why didn't you just say "don't pee on the seat"?  The only problem with your solution about lifting the seat, I wouldn't want to touch the seat in most bathrooms!  Those paper seat covers don't work either!  Most women are pigs in the restroom!

Me

 

 
September 16, 2007, 9:22 am CDT

I agree

I agree with karenw that Kyla was legally yet inappropriately attired for a flight.   However, she is an adult.  As a school bus driver I see more exposure every day of the week. I see high school girls with skirts and shorts so short I can see their underwear, midriffs all year long, low cut jeans and necklines down to the nipples.   If they can't enforce school dress codes for children, how in the world can we enforce a dress code for airlines.  And do we want to?  Unless it is extreme why can't we just look away, or use it as a chance to teach our children how it makes you look when you expose yourself?
 
September 16, 2007, 9:36 am CDT

Etiquette

Quote From: onoone02

I happen to see Kyla on the Today show with her mother and attorney. Matt interviewed her for several minutes in a close up shot. She was then asked to stand up and show the "outfit" she was wearing on that fateful day. The outfit was nice, the skirt in my opinion was a bit short, but what bothered me, was when she sat down, you could see her underwear; perhaps this was the situation on the plane. Was a family exposed to her exposure, and in trying to protect someone's innocence, did they complain?

 

Kyla said to begin with, she just wanted an apology...but now they are contemplating whether or not to file a lawsuit....is this another situation where a child being told "no" throws a tantrum and we are going to give into that "fit" ???? Our society has become a "I can do what I want no matter what"....laws are blatantly broken and another attorney makes more money and a name for themselves by defending a wrong doing. We need to start thinking others "rights"  as much as we think about our own...it may change society a little.

I also saw Kyla on the Today Show and was appalled when she sat down and left nothing to the imagination.  That outfit may be fit for going to a club  or bar, but, was in no way appropriate for traveling on an airplane, or any other public transportation.  Her rights to show her stuff in her opinion does not supercede the rights of others that really don't want to look.  Give me a break, a lawsuit is a joke.  Maybe the situation could have been handled more discretely, but, I sincerely doubt she will be scarred for life.  Maybe it will make her think.  Hopefully, when she saw what she was showing on Today she'll rethink her wardrobe the next times she leaves her home.
 
September 16, 2007, 10:33 am CDT

Etiquette

I perceive slurping soup and other soft foods, chewing with your mouth open, and talking with food in your mouth as lack of respect for others in your presence.  Also, slurping hot soup, rather than blowiing on it before putting the filled spoon in your mouth, may cause burns to the mouth and possible inhalation of the liquid.  When my spouse slurps, I leave the table until he has finished eating that food.  And when he talks with his mouth full, I tell him that I did not understand what he said and to please repeat it before the next bite!

 

EPF in SC

 
September 16, 2007, 10:38 am CDT

Etiquette

Talking on the cell phone or chewing with your mouth open is the most rude thing anyone could do. I have had to work at it but my cell now gets turned off in the parking lot in order to respect others. Dinner is a time for family. Leave work at work and home at home. The chewing with your mouth open is so nasty  that I would not eat with them at all.

 

 

 It is not up to what South West Airlines what the customers wear. They went over board completly I would seriously consider sueing the airline for discrimination. I honestly think that airlines should accomidate parents with young children as much as possible because it is hard enought to fly with kids.

 

 
September 16, 2007, 10:38 am CDT

Etiquette

My biggest pet peeve stems from when I was a child.  My Mother would always poke us with her fork if we had our elbows on the table, chewed with our mouths open (even if we couldn't breathe because our nose was plugged with mucas from a cold!).  I grew up with this stuff and have continued the tradition - not poking my daughter with a fork but telling her to eat with her mouth closed.  Its frustrating at times but at others I try and tune it out (if we are in a social gathering).  Its hard because I am on edge the whole night because of one person who can't chew their food without looking/sounding like a cow (in my eyes of course).
 
September 16, 2007, 12:38 pm CDT

ETIQUITTE and RESPECT for others

Quote From: erikrisolson

Talking on the cell phone or chewing with your mouth open is the most rude thing anyone could do. I have had to work at it but my cell now gets turned off in the parking lot in order to respect others. Dinner is a time for family. Leave work at work and home at home. The chewing with your mouth open is so nasty  that I would not eat with them at all.

 

 

 It is not up to what South West Airlines what the customers wear. They went over board completly I would seriously consider sueing the airline for discrimination. I honestly think that airlines should accomidate parents with young children as much as possible because it is hard enought to fly with kids.

 

I agree with you on your first point about etiquitte, however, your second is a little frustrating to me.  What about the saying "there is a time and a place for everything"?  You're probably asking, "well, what about it?"  She was flying to Arizona, she wasn't going to a bar to pick up guys. Get my drift?

 

I don't consider being told to put clothes on grounds for a law suit based on discrimination.  I have CP so, when I think of discrimination I think race, ethnic background, religious conviction, physical abilities , etc.  Things we can't help, not things we can like the way we dress.  Once it was brought to SWA's attention, she was asked to change so apperently she was the one breaking the rules, otherwise the person who made the initial complaint would have been informed the she was within dress code. 

 

Furthermore, it is up SWA and every other airline what their customers wear.  To fly on buddy passes you HAVE TO wear the appropriate attire, no if , and's or but's.  I am aware that she was not flying on a buddy pass.  I just think it needs to be accross the board.  I've been reading other posts that feel the same way I do and I'm wondering where are our rights to not  be exposed to people who think they have a right to dress how they choose, in public no less?  You can dress however you so choose in the privacy of your own home but the minute you step out into public you make it the publics business. Not to mention,  what about the kids on that flight who probably unintentionally saw her underwear as well?  Shouldn't parents have a right to voice their opinions if they feel someone is not dressed appropriately with their chioldren present?  I think so!  I would be shocked if this particular situation doesn't majorly change things in the way of dress code.  It very well should.

 
September 16, 2007, 5:54 pm CDT

Lack Of

I have a real problem with people that have bad habits and I think it is getting worse.  I'm not perfect, but I become very offended when someone displays bad manners to me or someone else.  A man does not need to hold a door for me, but it would be nice if the person that you are behind held the door until you were able to get to the door.  At work, my biggest problem is when someone comes into my office while I am on the phone and stands there until I am done with the call.  I think that is very disrespectfully, but I keep on talking to the person I was on the phone with.  Hopefully after the show, people with bad manners will show how mean they can be. 

 
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