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Topic : 03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas

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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:44:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/18/07) Does it annoy you to no end when someone uses a cell phone at the dinner table or chews with his or her mouth open? Along with author Peggy Post, Dr. Phil tackles the dos and don’ts of etiquette. One issue making recent headlines is appropriate in-flight attire. Kyla was flying to Phoenix on Southwest Airlines when an employee informed her that her outfit was too skimpy. Kyla saw nothing wrong with the way she was dressed and was appalled when she was asked to cover up. Did the airline go overboard, or was Kyla too tantalizing for take-off? Then, Kate took her 19-month-old son on his first flight, but she was removed from the plane when he became too talkative. Was the airline out of line for telling Kate to shut her baby up? Peggy Post weighs in on this polarizing problem. And, Joan says she doesn’t have any peace at home because of all the noise her family makes – from loud chewing to clinking dinnerware. Her husband, Bob, says he and their three children have to walk on eggshells around Joan just to eat dinner. Is Joan overly sensitive, or does her family need to be reined in? Plus, meet a woman who says her husband’s bad manners didn’t disturb her until she had a baby, and a guest who nominated herself as having the worst etiquette in the country! Share your own etiquette peeves and join the discussion.

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September 16, 2007, 6:14 pm CDT

Bratty Babies

Quote From: davewriter

I'm looking forward to seeing this show, when I read about Kate coming on with her story about being kicked off the plane thanks to her 19-month-old son.

 

I remember reading this story on Yahoo!, which I later copied and pasted in a new thread in a soap opera forum, in the "chitterchatter" forum.  Isn't this the one where the kid said "Bye-bye, plane" over and over and the easily annoyed stewardess told poor Kate, "You know, it's called baby Benadryl?"  As soon as I saw that, I was immediately calling the stewardess out on her bad behaviour, and screaming for the airline to discipline and/or fire her.  The STEWARDESS was the one who needed a lesson on etiquette.

 

I don't think Kate should be disciplining her son to be quiet if he was saying something as innocent as "Bye-bye, plane."  Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill!  If I were on a plane, and my seatmate's kid was like that, I'd be smiling and  thinking, "Aw, how cute."  If I got sick of it after an hour (when the seatbelt sign was turned off and we'd be well into the air) I'd offer to get him a toy or a book to entertain himself.  As a writer, I'd even offer to read to him.  If this were my potential baby daughter, I would allow her to go on with it, provided that the people around me were okay with it, and I think most would.  If a steward(ess) was rudely teling me to quiet my kid when she was doing nothing wrong, my response would be, "And what exactly is wrong with this?  I don't exactly see an in-flight movie playing.  I don't think she's distracting anyone."  If said steward(ess) told me to medicate my child as a result... well, I wouldn't care about his/her so-called authority, I'd slap him/her so hard, (s)he'd fall down on the backside, THEN I'd write a GOOD complaint letter to the airlines, calling for the steward(ess)'s dismissal and a refund. 

 

I hope Kate has at least done the latter.  Can't wait to hear her story on Tuesday.  I want to see how this all played out for her.  Hopefully, the results were in HER favour.

Child behaviour is one of my soap boxes. My oldest daughter was two years old the first time I had her on an airplane. She alternated sitting  in her seat and sitting in my lap. Otherwise she behaved like an adult. We talked but she was not loud or disruptive to others on the plane. When she had to go the the bathroom she quietly told me and held my hand as we quitely  walked to the bathroom and back.  No child can be expected to be an adult but at that age children have the capacity to be able to learn right from wrong to a greater extent than most parents realize. Maybe they don't want to realize this because it puts the responsibility on them for their childs' behaviour. Both of my children were taught to have manners in public at a very young age. At one time my two daughters, who were teenagers at the time, and I were in public having our senses assaulted by a screaming, crying, kicking brat. The mother was doing nothing with this kid to let him know that you shouldn't  behave that way in public or anywhere else. I looked at my daughters in astonishment and said "You two never acted that way." My oldest daughter said they knew they wouldn't like what  happened if they did act that way. You don't have to beat or abuse a child in any way to teach them. But it does take work and thought and I feel most parents don't want to be bothered. They would rather cruise and let the kid do whatever he or she wants and somehow that parent has the abiblity to ignore the brat. I can't ignore it. I doubt I would have been able to ignore the brat on the airplane. I did not force my bratty kids on others and I do not appreciate it when someone forces his or her bratty kid on me. That mother and child should have been removed from the airplane. I remember hearing about that incident on the news. My daughter that has a little boy heard about that, too. We three flew from Dallas to St. Louis. My daughter was scared to death fearing she and her baby would get thrown off of that airplane. The baby was 22 months old at the time and he can be a handful. But I wasn't worried. I knew she disciplined her child. He was a little testy and fidgity but he was not noisy and unruly and disruptive. He did fiine. That is my proof that very young children can behave on airplanes without disturbing others. I recall a trip I took on an airplane sitting across from two little girls. One was under a year old and I think the other was three. Ay first I thought "Oh, no." But those children behaved. They weren't perfect little adults but they did not create a problem. I commended the parents for obviously disciplining and training their kids. More proof that children can behave on airplanes. Again, don't force your bratty kids off on me.

 

 
September 16, 2007, 6:44 pm CDT

09/18 Etiquette

Quote From: cissie88

How do you know that DrPhil GOT IT WRONG this time? The show hasn't even aired yet. We don't even know what he has to say on this. This young woman's skirt was much shorter than I would have worn or wanted my 19 year old daughter to wear , but it really wasn't bad enough for the airline to treat her like they did. Not knowing who complained this would just be a guess, but I bet it was some insecure woman who's husband was ogling this young woman.

Not knowing who complained, this would just be a guess, but I bet it was a mother/father flying with their children and didn't want them to be subjected to such trash.  It's really sad that no one has anymore morals than that, this day and age.  I don't think SWA crossed the line by any means.  Obviously it was bad enough, otherwise they wouldn't have told her she needed to cover up or get off the plane, even though the only reason she was reprimanded at all was because someone complained.  No, she wasn't baring her mid-drift, or showing too much cleavage but common sense should her that when she sits down her skirt will be considerably shorter than when standing, thus showing her undergarments.  Even my 9 year old niece has enough common sense to wear some stretch shorts when she wears skirts.  You'd think a 23 year old would too.
 
September 16, 2007, 7:02 pm CDT

09/18 Etiquette

Quote From: oldbdynumind

When we go out for coffee it is irritating to have to listen to people who stir their coffee and all the time beating their spoons on the sides of their cups.  How long does it take to stir a little cream into a cup of coffee?

I know that's right!  The whole beating the spoon on the side of the cup thing raises one question for me.  How hard is to get that last drop off the spoon?  It's not like beating food off your fork for crying out loud, which is annoying as well.  Just shake it over the cup, then lay it on the napkin or something and voila ;)  JMO!

 
September 16, 2007, 7:25 pm CDT

09/18 Etiquette

Kate took her 19-month-old son on his first flight, but she was removed from the plane when he became too talkative. Was the airline out of line for telling Kate to shut her baby up?

 

You know, I despise the airline that she took him on.

 

Me and my husband went out to a health seminar with his grandparents the other night, Thursday to be exact.  Well, the guy didn't tell us or say on the card that we couldn't bring our baby, whom is 6 months old.  Now, our baby was asleep at the beginning, but then woke up to start his little humming and, what I call, growling.  They guy told me that I had to leave because the baby was "bothering him".  When I got back in, everyone was like 'you shouldn't of left, he wasn't bothering any of us'.  After finding out and asking the guy, he flat out said that since his kids was grown and out of his house, he didn't want to deal with kids again.  I was like, what about your grandkids?  He he just shruged his shoulders.

 

Man, I was annoyed after all of that.  I actually felt like saying a few choice words to him, but refrained from doing so.

 
September 16, 2007, 7:41 pm CDT

09/18 Etiquette

When I was a receptionist there was nothing ruder than someone stepping up to my desk and doing 1 of 2 things.

1. Come to the desk while on their phone and expect me to wait on them (then get upset and give attitude when I move on to someone else who is waiting patiently)

2. Cut me off in the middle of scheduling to talk on their phone, then proceed to get angry and threaten to get my manager when I sit back and wait patiently for them to finish their own conversation or refuse to multitask with them.

One woman actually stuck her hand in my face in a "wait a moment" gesture when her phone rang in the middle of scheduling and proceeded to jabber on, and on.

As far as the clothing goes I honestly have better things to do than get offended by the attire of someone else.

I don't get the double standard either, when the side or top of a breast is visible for breastfeeding it is ok, but the side or top of a breast exposed through a lowcut shirt is obscene and damaging to children. Pick one people!!!

Most women don't expose an entire breast for breast feeding (I've only seen one woman take her shirt off to nurse 1 child and allow the other breast to be exposed) and most low cut shirts don't expose an entire breast!

Women who nurse in public don't like being called indecent and I certainly don't like being called indecent when I want to wear a tube top in the summer.
 
September 17, 2007, 12:48 am CDT

Manners really matters

First hello to everyone!

 

Pardon my english because its not my native language.

 

The most important thing about good manners and courtesy is that making the people feel they are respected, and cared for. Manners actually take little more effort to abid by, but the outcome is marvellous.

Respecting other people's feeling, this is purely human, otherwise, the jungle law will dominate the atomosphere every time the people get together.

 

Nimeh Mograby

Jordan

 

 

 
September 17, 2007, 3:27 am CDT

Disgusting behavior

What sends me up the wall is anyone who licks  their fingers while eating.  I do not care if they are eating ribs or anything else messy----that's what napkins are for.  Chewing with your mouth open and making a lot of noise is also poor manners.    Even if you were raised on a farm, this is inappropriate behavior.
 
September 17, 2007, 5:25 am CDT

Etiquette Dilemmas

Quote From: anomalytc

 Dr. Phil,
You got it wrong this time.  Southwest was right to tell that young woman to put more clothes on.  I don't want to see anyone's underwear when I'm in public, male or female.

She had obviously pulled down her skirt and shirt to make it more chaste.  In a civil society we need to wear clothing.  What about social norms and standards?  You got it wrong.  People ned to wear clothes when they go out!


When it comes to appropriate vs. inappropriate clothing I could go on for hours.  I understand styles change but where do we draw the line?  I do believe the skirt was to short, especially since when she was on the today show and she sat down the world got to see her panties.  That was unacceptable.  But I also can't stand walking down the street or in a mall or the grocery store and see guys walking around with their pants below there butts and their boxers hanging out.  That is just as unacceptable to me.  But look around and our childeren are just trying to be like their "ICONS".  And we all know that the stars will do whatever it takes to get their picture taken...which usually means wearing next to nothing. 

 

I sometimes think I was born in the wrong era because I love the elegant looks of the past, when women wore beautiful clothing that covered their bodies.  And men took pride in in dressing neatly.  There is something to be said about keeping certain things covered.  There is a time and a place to show your unmentionables and that it in your own home with your own spouse. 

 
September 17, 2007, 6:29 am CDT

09/18 Etiquette

Quote From: shelly_80

Not knowing who complained, this would just be a guess, but I bet it was a mother/father flying with their children and didn't want them to be subjected to such trash.  It's really sad that no one has anymore morals than that, this day and age.  I don't think SWA crossed the line by any means.  Obviously it was bad enough, otherwise they wouldn't have told her she needed to cover up or get off the plane, even though the only reason she was reprimanded at all was because someone complained.  No, she wasn't baring her mid-drift, or showing too much cleavage but common sense should her that when she sits down her skirt will be considerably shorter than when standing, thus showing her undergarments.  Even my 9 year old niece has enough common sense to wear some stretch shorts when she wears skirts.  You'd think a 23 year old would too.

In this day and age, man thats funny. Girls were wearing mini-skirts shorter than hers in the sixties. For the most part I would guess they turned out alright. I saw this girl on the Today Show and when she sat down she flashed her panties. It wasn't a big deal, cause I've seen a whloe lot worse than that on people just walking down the street. Common sense should have told whomever complained to lighten up and mind their own business.

 
September 17, 2007, 6:39 am CDT

09/18 Etiquette

Quote From: lvmylife

I agree with you about our rights. Why do we have to see someone else's underware (on other things) because she has a right to dress that way. I saw the Today show also and noticed they had to blurr her crotch area when she sat down. If they had to do that, then it was inappropiate. Why does a person need to wear a skirt that short anyway? What if it was a family who complained because they had to explain things to their children? Don't they have a right for their children to not have to see that? It's getting to a point where a family has no rights against the immoral or indecent.  

 

As far as the small child talking too much, I didn't hear the details about what exactly he was doing to disturb other people. I have been on flights with small children and they were the longest ever, because I had to listen to them cry, or run up and down the isle. When I took my 4 year old and 18 month old to Hawaii I did my research on traveling with children and brought plenty of toys and snacks to keep them occupied. I forced my 18 month old to have a pacifier to help with his ears popping and gave my 4 year old gum to chew. I had compliments about my childrens behavior, so I know children can behave on flights. It's up to the parents to control their behavior.

That supposed blur you saw was her panties. I don't really think that she NEEDED to wear that skirt, but she WANTED to. As for a family having rights on decency or morality, you do the right to decide for YOUR family what you believe and pass that belief on to your children. As for myself I wasn't offended by her outfit in the least. I never would have worn it,  but I've seen worse.
 
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