Topic : 03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas

Quote From: missy10

 

  The crunching makes my teeth hurt even if the person is across the room.  Someone told me that people chew ice because of an iron deficiency.  I've suggested to a couple of people and when they started on vitamins with iron they stopped crunching. One of them also craved dirt and charcoal when she was pregnant.

Quote From: skyway2ls

Dr Phil, you were way off base with your solution for the woman who was being driven crazy by her etiquette challenged family.  First of all, it is RUDE to pop gum.  I realize millions of people are doing it, but it is quite rude - especially if it is bothering someone.  Secondly, this lady does not have a stress related problem, but a case of hyperacusis.  Most health professionals don't know about this syndrome, which was diagnosed in 1995.  One of the forms of hyperacusis is called Super Sound Sensitivity Syndrome or "4 S."  Hyperacusis is a problem with the inner ear in which a person hears sounds differently than the average bear.  I have it and I can hear the smallest sounds, while those around me cannot.  I can hear the lightest sound, like the tiny sounds going on in the inside of the ceiling fan, although my husband can't hear it at all.  Since he can't hear it, he can't understand why it bothers me, but it keeps me awake at night.  When I discovered this syndrom online, I realized I have always had this and the truth is that I have a light case.  Other people who have this syndrome are nearly driven crazy by every day sounds.  I have figured out a way to manage my syndrome.  I buy soft yellow foam earplugs and I use them to filter out these annoying sounds.  For example, I can't stand going to the movies and trying to focus on the movie while people are talking, chewing gum, crunching ice and popcorn, so I put earplugs in while I am watching the movie.  I can still hear everything that is said, but without all the little sounds that are in the theatre.  When my husband is eating I put an earplug in my left ear if he is sitting to my left and that dulls down the sound of his eating so that it doesn't bother me.  I keep earplugs in my car, my purse, beside the bed and wherever I might need them.  If something is bothering me, I don't yell at anyone or get upset, I just go into the bathroom, pop in a couple of earplugs, and then go out and enjoy my family.  I don't beat up on  myself because I know that I have hyperacusis and that I am doing what I need to do to keep myself comfortable.  This is absolutely NOT a psychological condition.  It is a physical condition of the inner ear.  It may be worse when someone is stress, but destressing someone is not going to make the condition disappear.  I'm not going to get on you too much about the fact that you didn't do your homework well enough on this before your show, Dr Phi, but it would be nice if you contacted that poor woman and let her know that this is not the result of a stress problem.  And, again, it is RUDE and disrespectful for anyone to pop gum at their mother or anyone else just to be annoying.  Gum popping is rude, so kids should only be doing it when they are around someone who isn't annoyed by it - like another 12 year old.  http://hyperacusis.net/ 

Quote From: onoone02

I happen to see Kyla on the Today show with her mother and attorney. Matt interviewed her for several minutes in a close up shot. She was then asked to stand up and show the "outfit" she was wearing on that fateful day. The outfit was nice, the skirt in my opinion was a bit short, but what bothered me, was when she sat down, you could see her underwear; perhaps this was the situation on the plane. Was a family exposed to her exposure, and in trying to protect someone's innocence, did they complain?

 

Kyla said to begin with, she just wanted an apology...but now they are contemplating whether or not to file a lawsuit....is this another situation where a child being told "no" throws a tantrum and we are going to give into that "fit" ???? Our society has become a "I can do what I want no matter what"....laws are blatantly broken and another attorney makes more money and a name for themselves by defending a wrong doing. We need to start thinking others "rights"  as much as we think about our own...it may change society a little.

Quote From: kec132

First off - my family and I grew up traveling - as did a few of my friends - our parents are immigrants so we spent summers in Ireland - and that is a long flight for a kid.  Airlines made sure to seat us around other kids who were also flying and in that front row where you can place infants. Each of us was responsible for keeping the younger ones entertained.

 

As an adult who travels I can tell you that there is NOTHING more annoying that someone else's child who is a pain in the you know what - crying, unhappy, fidgeting, whining, bored, talkatie.  Someone else's child is usually only cute for 30 seconds then you want to get back to your book, magazine, movie or husband - not chat witha 19 month old child and not have to listen to him chat to the world for the next couple hours.

 

We all pay good money to travel and it's usually the beginning or the end of our holidays -- and that's no way to start off or end up - it is simply NOT enjoyable. So if you aren't able to entertain your own child for the next 6 hours, drive.

 

Kate, your child like all the other passengers spent 11 hours stuck at the airport - as did the airline staff of course.  DIdn't it enter your head that perhaps that was simply too long a day for the child and that there was no way he was going to handle a few more hours on a plane? Yes - you wanted to see your dad - but sometimes when life throws you a curve ball you have to swing and miss at it - and it probably would have been so much better for everyone all around if you had done the smart thing, taken your child home for a good night's rest and flown out tomorrow.  Was the stewardess nice to you? Not really - she was annoyed and should have handled it better. They also aren't just waitresses in the sky -- their more important and urgent duty is to make sure that the cabin is secured for safety during takeoff, that the passengers are well secured and that then they show the passengers what to do in case of an emergency. Your child who to you is just the cutest most adorable smartest little fella in the whole world wasn't looking too cute to more than a few people I can assure you and not just the stewardess. She could have handled herself better - you could have been smarter about the entire situation and taking your son home for a good night's rest and he'd have been a much happier camper and might not have chatted so much to those around him. It's not just you on that plane - there are a couple hundred people flying with you - and having a child flying with you means it is YOUR responsibility to make sure he is well-behaved and not a bother to those strangers around you or seated next to you - I don't need your child to pass me salt, crackers or ketchup and chat away to me - as a fellow passenger I need you to take care of your child.

Dr. Phil - somehow I think that it's gotten a little out of hand with today's parents and their children - when I go to a restaurant that is not Chucke E. Cheese I do not want to have the kids at the next table playing or fighting with each other, climbing under the tables, going around to all the other tables. The parents seem to sit there saying 'well thank goodness Jay Junior is off there chatting to that nice couple now I can eat my own dinner in peace'. That nice couple wants to wring their necks.  If I go to a children friendly restaurant then that's fine - I get what I expect - but there are times that parents just seem to forget any responsibility they have for taking their children certain places - such as planes, restaurants, etc. It's not my job to help you babysit your child - it's your responsibility. I did it enough for enough years and always taking care to not forcekids bad behaviour on others even when it meant leaving a restaurant. Traveling with kids is a special thing and not special in the 'oh a treat' meaning - but it is the parents responsibility to make sure that surrounding strangers are not bothered by your kids - and of course those she asked said her her child wasn't bothering them - I would too - simply because nobody wants to be the one to sound like "scrouge' and say YES HELL YES he would NOT shutup and I was ready to lose my mind because he talked loudly and incessantly!!