Topic : 03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas

I feel that after the apology Kyla was given on your show by Southwest Airlines that she was very ungrateful. She said all she wanted was an apology and she got one. So, why does she still want to conisder suing over something as silly as this? She hasn't said she will for sure be suing but she sure made it seem that way. Her outfit was okay, as long as she kept her legs crossed. I could see how it could be considered offensive if she was flashing her underwear and not keeping her legs crossed, but other than that it was fine. I feel that she needs to grow up, accept the apology, and move on.

I am so SICK of everyone trying to force their own particular brand of morality down other peoples throat. 

 

Then stop doing it yourself! The only way I would accept her outfit as an acceptable one is if I were to adopt your (apparent) line of thinking.

 

She was not dressed obscenely at all.

 

In your opinion.

 

Yes I have heard of being accountable and I think that the attendant who chastised her SHOULD BE held accountable for his stupidity.

 

Now that was a mature & educated point.

 

 

   SHE SHOULD NOT ACCEPT THE APOLOGY, THE DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE, THEY SHOULD PAY FOR IT.

   

   

I have been reading about the women getting irritated with chewing and noises and other people's messages about being bothered by noises.  I would like some feedback on the words irritated and bothered.  I have had my problem since I can remember (small child).  It started mostly with eating noises (smacking lips mostly).  As I got older, it got worse.  It has controlled my life.  I know how everyone I've ever met eats.  I can picture it in my head.  I can't go to the movies unless I get there early to get a seat in the back on the end.  I have to get up and move in church when someone is chewing gum or an older person is making involuntary mouth noises over and over.  I can't ride in a car unless I feel safe that no one will be eating (but you never know when someone will get a stick of gum out or start sucking on a mint).  These are just a few small examples.  I can't feel close to someone unless they know my problem and eat quietly for me.  It means a lot to me that they would do that for me and that they always remember.  My family has always known about this problem, but I feel they don't care about me enough to not make noise.  I realize this is a lot to ask but I have tried to get help for this since I started therapy in 1987.  If I did nothing about my problem and just expected everyone to change for me I could understand how that could seem rude.  I have tried to get rid of my fear for 20 years.  I have done every kind of counseling and therapy (from group to individual, meditation, etc.).  The psychiatrists and therapists that I have encountered over all these years have never been able to help me with this and haven't heard of anything as extreme as my problem is.  I'm wondering if anyone else feels like I do and if anyone has ever gotten any relief.  Most of the therapists have said that it could and probably should be related to some type of childhood sexual abuse.  I have had a diagnosis of depression since 1989 and extreme anxiety lately ( I am now premenopausal and have a 6 year old girl and a 7 year old boy at the age of 45).  I have been on so many different types of antidepressants in all these years that I can't even remember all of them.  I also have an addiction problem and have had the inpatient treatment and counseling that go along with this.  I also have been treated for an eating disorder and continue to have problems.  When I hear these noises that everyone else is saying irritate them or bother them I feel such strong emotion that I couldn't describe it with such mild words.  It is almost as if someone is hurting me (inside my head).  If I am trapped in one of any number of situations I feel that I could go crazy on someone if I can't get away.  I am very careful what situations I put myself in, but in daily life you can't avoid things that are normal everyday occurrences.  Therefore, I am in a constant state of fear never knowing when I will be hurt and for how long I will have to endure it.  I had conversations with my first husband and with my second husband not long after we started dating about this.  They were loud eaters and I told them that I would totally understand if they didn't want to be with me, but if they did they would have to eat quietly and not make mouth noises and try to help me protect myself from their families and friends.  It is very humiliating to try to explain this to someone so I don't very often.  I just avoid people that are very nice and otherwise would be fun to be around.  I don't expect everyone to change their life for me but I have also learned through therapy that I have to take care of myself.  Since I have never been able to get any relieft or help (although I never quit trying), I just try to be very careful what situations I put myself in, but this is next to impossible because everyone has a mouth and opens it.  I know this is long--but it's been 20 years of suffering starting with the mouth noises and getting worse with all the addictions and depression compiling on top of this fear and pain I've had since I was a small child.  Anyone have any suggestions or do I just sound so insane that I should have my hearing cut off and learn to live as a nonhearing person?

If Southwest wants to have a dress code, then they need to step up to the plate and develop one.  Then they need to educate their employees so that the dress code is consistently enforced.  Then they need to make the dress code available to every person purchasing a ticket. 

 

If they thought her skirt was too short, they should have given her a blanket to put over her lap.  That's about all they cover anyway, so why not use them?  This should have been done quietly and respectfully without making a scene.

 

Also, Dr. Phil, it appeared that you really felt strongly that she shouldn't even consider taking legal action against Southwest.  It seemed like this was very important to you -- did you make a promise to Southwest or something?  She was correct when she told you that she only said she wouldn't go on anymore TV shows -- she said nothing about taking legal action one way or the other.

 

It is one thing to offer an apology (three months down the road) and quite another thing to change your business policies for the better.  I feel she had every right to hold off on making the legal decision until she saw whether Southwest was going to change their policy so this would not happen again to another person.

 

There is no excuse for their conduct and I would be very upset if they treated me that way, no matter how I was dressed.  As consumers we deserve respect from the people we do business with.  I wouldn't have kept the tickets either and I respect her for giving them back.  That shows that she isn't in this for what she can get out of it.

 

    I AGREE,

             IT WOULDN'T EVEN BOTHER ME IF SHE WASN'T WEARING UNDERWEAR.

    I JUST CAN'T CARE LESS.

    IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME...

 

If Southwest wants to have a dress code, then they need to step up to the plate and develop one.  Then they need to educate their employees so that the dress code is consistently enforced.  Then they need to make the dress code available to every person purchasing a ticket. 

 

I agree.

 

If they thought her skirt was too short, they should have given her a blanket to put over her lap. 

 

They did. Or at least that's what she claimed on the today show.

 

There is no excuse for their conduct and I would be very upset if they treated me that way, no matter how I was dressed.  As consumers we deserve respect from the people we do business with.  I wouldn't have kept the tickets either and I respect her for giving them back.  That shows that she isn't in this for what she can get out of it.

 

What about a company's right to refuse service? Just as a company should be respectful to their customers, so should the customer. As a customer, we have the greatest power... the right to not receive service. We can choose to spend our money elsewhere. But as a company, what right do they have when they feel their services & facilities are being abused? Refusal of service? What does that get them? Bad publicity & misunderstandings.

 

I stand by SWA & their decision in this. They are one of those companies that is truly loved by it's own employees.

 

Because ALL the fashion police would have had her arrested and thrown under the jail.