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March 6, 2008, 8:07 pm PST
03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas
Quote From: jthomas4Hey Ya'll,
After watching the show today, I couldn't believe my ears. I thought I was the ONLY PERSON ON EARTH with this problem. My case is extreme. I don't even know how the lady on the show would even put up with the sunflower seeds for 15 minutes before closing her ears!!! When I hear or see people eat, it's like my mind totally zooms in on it, and nothing else, and I get this EXTREME inner feeling of high stress (that's my description of how I feel) but to say it in a nutshell....it makes me want to run away RIGHT THEN, I can't get away fast enough. So that's what I do. I get away from it as fast as I can. I turn on music to drown out the clinking of spoons on bowls, hearing food being chewed up, people swallowing, the stirring of spoons in cups, smacking, chewing, slurping, I close doors, I turn on water so I can hear that instead, whatever I can do to only hear something else and get my mind off of it. Sometimes my mind keeps repeating the noise long after it is gone and it makes me WANT TO SCREAM..........this is the one thing about me I would most like to change....there is NOT A PRICE TO FIX THIS. I would pay anything. I get upset all of the time about it because I feel like I am so weird. My husband....I don't know why he puts up with it, but he does. He stops eating for me to walk through the room and I quickly run out, we eat separately at home. STRANGELY, as long as I am eating I can tolerate the noises better....and it's not as bad in a social setting when there are millions of other noises around to drown it out. When the daughter on Dr. Phil today says her mother gets onto her for smacking when she's not even eating...I flash back to childhood when I would holler at my little sister to STOP STOP STOP!!!!!!!!! I guess this weird tick started when I was around 14 or 15...and I am now 25. I just really find comfort in knowing that I'm not alone....because I SERIOUSLY thought I was. This isn't just a simple "it gets on my nerves kind of thing", this is a serious "it affects my family, day-to-day living, and causes severe internal stress type of thing". I feel the stress through my shoulders and I just want to run. I don't tell people about this.........My mother in law smacks on gum and it makes me want to run, but if I told people they would think I was the weirdest person ever. It's just kind of understood between my husband and myself that we don't talk about it in front of other people....because if they know they will do it on purpose. And it is torturous to me, and I would cry and throw this crazy fit like a child if I couldn't get away. I can't be in a vehicle with another person eating, it's like my body goes into panic mode. Other than this one crazy tick, I am a VERY NORMAL EVERYDAY person. I actually teach middle school etiquette........I just didn't know there was anything that could EVER fix this. I don't know if I believe in hypnosis or not, but I have thought about that, and counseling....but I just assumed that a psychiatrist would think I WAS NUTSO because it seems so silly, but it is in fact so serious. I would give anything not to have this crazy tick. I now have a five month old daughter and you don't know how bad I don't want this to affect her. WHAT ARE THE STRATEGIES THAT DOCTOR PHIL SAID THAT HE IS GOING TO PUT ON HIS SITE!!?!??!?! I NEED TO SEE THEM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DVR'd the show, so I showed it to my husband and he was like.....let's get on the website NOW, and I couldn't get here fast enough. I NEED HELP!!! -Jenny Jenny,
You are not alone, I am soo excited to hear that I am NOT the only one out there, I have thought that I was NUTS as well as psycho . . . . the intense feeling I get when I hear these noises are soo strong sometimes, that if I had a baseball bat, I could literally smash a wall!! Nobody in my family understands, so I usually have to leave the room. It's horrible to become fixated on these sounds, when you know it will send you over the edge. I can't even eat with my husband either, because of all the noises he makes. I can't listen to him flossing his teeth, or all the other repetitive little noises that have been mentioned by you, and know I know of others with this same "problem". Obviously, I don't think that Dr. Phil was addressing the extreme case that I and others have, where it causes a physical reaction and is highly highly stressfyl. I am looking for help, and don't know where to go to find it. If it is Adult ADD, then what do I do about it, I don't really want to go on medication. . .
Anyone have any answers or ideas?
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(Original Air Date: 09/18/07) Does it annoy you to no end when someone uses a cell phone at the dinner table or chews with his or her mouth open? Along with author Peggy Post, Dr. Phil tackles the dos and don’ts of etiquette. One issue making recent headlines is appropriate in-flight attire. Kyla was flying to Phoenix on Southwest Airlines when an employee informed her that her outfit was too skimpy. Kyla saw nothing wrong with the way she was dressed and was appalled when she was asked to cover up. Did the airline go overboard, or was Kyla too tantalizing for take-off? Then, Kate took her 19-month-old son on his first flight, but she was removed from the plane when he became too talkative. Was the airline out of line for telling Kate to shut her baby up? Peggy Post weighs in on this polarizing problem. And, Joan says she doesn’t have any peace at home because of all the noise her family makes – from loud chewing to clinking dinnerware. Her husband, Bob, says he and their three children have to walk on eggshells around Joan just to eat dinner. Is Joan overly sensitive, or does her family need to be reined in? Plus, meet a woman who says her husband’s bad manners didn’t disturb her until she had a baby, and a guest who nominated herself as having the worst etiquette in the country! Share your own etiquette peeves and join the discussion.
