Topic : 03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas

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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:44:36 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/18/07) Does it annoy you to no end when someone uses a cell phone at the dinner table or chews with his or her mouth open? Along with author Peggy Post, Dr. Phil tackles the dos and don’ts of etiquette. One issue making recent headlines is appropriate in-flight attire. Kyla was flying to Phoenix on Southwest Airlines when an employee informed her that her outfit was too skimpy. Kyla saw nothing wrong with the way she was dressed and was appalled when she was asked to cover up. Did the airline go overboard, or was Kyla too tantalizing for take-off? Then, Kate took her 19-month-old son on his first flight, but she was removed from the plane when he became too talkative. Was the airline out of line for telling Kate to shut her baby up? Peggy Post weighs in on this polarizing problem. And, Joan says she doesn’t have any peace at home because of all the noise her family makes – from loud chewing to clinking dinnerware. Her husband, Bob, says he and their three children have to walk on eggshells around Joan just to eat dinner. Is Joan overly sensitive, or does her family need to be reined in? Plus, meet a woman who says her husband’s bad manners didn’t disturb her until she had a baby, and a guest who nominated herself as having the worst etiquette in the country! Share your own etiquette peeves and join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More September 2007 Show Boards.


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March 6, 2008, 9:15 pm PST

Dr. Phil's Advice

Quote From: misssassy

I feel like the lady sitting on stage was telling my story.  It makes me angry to hear smacking, chomping, gulping.  I also have been looking for the help info... let me know if you find it.  Thank you.

Your friend,

I know how you feel

zachlogangracekoby@yahoo.com

At the very beginning of the Message Board Dr. Phil gives several references re "auditory defensiveness".  Then he says "Good Luck!"  I was very disappointed that's all we got re the subject.  I too have been looking for "something" to help me w/this problem for most of my life!  I disagree with his comment to the lady on the show that it was just a "stress factor".  These noises make me crazy whether I'm stressed or not and I have no control over them.
 
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March 6, 2008, 9:20 pm PST

03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas

Quote From: jesi030

A friend and I went on a trip to our local Wal-Mart and we took with us our boys.  At the check out we proceeded to cash out our items at the self check and Nate, my oldest, kept grabbing things from the isle, as children do.  I perodically stopped and correscted the problem.  This employee was watching from nearby.  Nate grabbed another item and this lady walked over grabbed him by his arms and forced him in the sitting position in the cart.  If that wasn't enough she leaned in and threatened him with a witchlike face.  HE WAS ONLY THREE!  SHe scared him to death.  I was shocked and completely in awe of what to do.  How do you deal with a situation like that without being confrontational and making a scene?  We didn't kow what to do, but we went to the customer service counter and told them the event, and they acted completely neutral, and calmly said they would talk to her.  I never checked on it again, but I felt very wierd, was I being irraltional, or is someone, esspecially and stranger, accpetable to do something like this?

You want to know what to do? Really, are you sure?

 

Keep your kid from pulling things off the shelf.

 

Your child was a victim of your inabliity to discipline them. It's not the woman's fault, she shouldn't have waited for your darling to trash them entire store because you didn't want to tell him to stop.

 
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March 6, 2008, 9:25 pm PST

03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas

Quote From: theguil

I am just the same.  I even cried when I heard the women talk thinking I was just more intolerante than other people..but I'm very patient with other things so that make me believe that it might be more than tolerance.

 

Iv'e been like that since I'm probably 4 years old...even as today..my parents and brothers tells how I use to repeat the saping noise so they would stop..I use to surround myself with cereal box (they call it my castle) so I would try to block the noise.  They don't know I still have the same problem..I just smile back.

 

As today, I eat in my computer room and wishes sometimes I could eat with my husband but I think he is as happy that I don't eat with him.  I am now pregnant and scare that I will have the same problem with the baby. I will do everything not to show in front of the baby.

 

NOise like sapping, mouse clicking, keyboard, swallowing (yes even that), breathing to loud..

but like Dr.Phil said..the big noise dont' bother me. 

 

the fealing is physical when I hear the noise...I rub my arm just to take off the noise out of me because I feel almost tinglelish...hard to explain.

 

I hope Dr.PHIL will have the tools he expressed on the show because I hate been like that.

 

Sorry for my english as it's not my native language.

 

:) Nice to meet other ...hopefully we will find some help.

It's interesting, we have commercials discussing how horrible it is to live with Fibromyalgia as a invisble illness. Yet nothing about Hyperacusis or sound sensitivity? Oh and of course, the people with Fibromyalgia refuse to recognize Hyperacusis or sound sensitivity as an invisible illness, cause it takes time away from how they suffer.

 

If people had to live one day with the suffering those of us with Hyperacusis or sound sensitivity do, they'd help instead of pretending it doesn't exsist. Or it's just someone looking for attention by pretending they have a problem. Maybe it also wouldn't be considered polite to have adults seat their shreiking children near people with Hyperacusis or sound sensitivity. Although based on the comments I've seen from parents on this board, I'm sure they'd throw a huge group temper-tantrum before that happens.

 
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March 6, 2008, 9:31 pm PST

03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas

Quote From: super_sarah_j

So you adimt that you are not a parent. So you have never had to help a crying child and not know what is wrong with them. I'm not saying that I'm super mom, but I would love to see you for one day with a young child on a plane and see how you handle it.

"So you admit your not a parent!" <--- Your not a parent, so I can now tear you down, and treat you like trash cause you don't know my suffering. Your not a parent you don't know ANYTHING! Your not a parent so you must hate kids!

 

I'm not a parent, and I have a right to exsist. Deal with it. People don't need to have children as a pass to exsist in our society. Don't start jumping up and and down screaming "YOUR NOT A PARENT YOUR NOT A PARENT YOUR NOT A PARENT!!" It's hypocritical to behave in a way that you would punish your own child for behaving.

 

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March 7, 2008, 2:53 am PST

Kudos to Kyla

Quote From: yoshiyoshi

Cause poor little Kyla never has felt embarressed in her life. "Boo-hoo, why isn't everyone treating me like a precious little princess. Don't people see how beautiful I am? Can't they see I deserve to be treated like a queen!"

 

Perhaps this is karmic revenge, for all the times she's treated less than beautiful women like dirt, cause she's felt she's better than them. Oh, and don't tell me I'm presuming that she has. Only someone so manipulative as to go on TV and demand an apology from an airline, and then sue on second thought. Must've have learned how to be that manipulative from being in one of those snobby cliques in high school.

I suppose you know her personally, right?  Yeah, whatever.  Maybe you should go on Dr. Phil so that you can finally get over your painful high school years... Who's the one really crying "Boo-hoo"?

 

I was appalled at Dr. Phil's reaction when Kyla said only that she would not go on another talk show.  She did not have a chance to discuss anything with her lawyer (he very rudely put her on the spot, isn't it an etiquette show?) and still there was the problem of the airline not setting any training or standards into place so that this did not happen to another passenger.  Kyla was allowed to board the plane so it was obviously one employees opinion over another's. If the airline had set a standard code into place and proper training for all its employees, she either would not have boarded the plane wearing that outfit, or they would have allowed her to board with nothing said.  There was nothing that I saw on the show that indicated she was to sue for financial gain, however, if she did, then Kudos to her!  It's unfortunate that the CEO of the airline waited until the publicity was too much before apologizing. 

 
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March 7, 2008, 3:33 am PST

03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas

Quote From: rainpainrain

Your personal brand of "embarrassment" doesn't apply to everyone.
Nothing Personal about it. She said that SHE was "Embarrassed & Humiliated"  on the show. That was her quote not mine.
 
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March 7, 2008, 4:35 am PST

03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas

Quote From: hudstud

What drives me through the wall is someone who chews their ice!!!  I almost have to leave the room.  Anybody else have this problem?

Someone chewing ice, chewing their finger nails, chalk screeching, ....... feel really bad about it too.
 
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March 7, 2008, 5:29 am PST

noises

All them same noises bother me too..At first I thought I was just crazy. I drive my children and husband crazy, and I feel like I lose alot of family time as well.Instead of asking them to stop, alot of times I just stay in my room. I hate it I'm like this and also thought about getting help from Dr. Phil, but thought he would agree with my family that I am crazy until I saw the show on others doing it too.I hate the kling, kling of a spoon on a bowl or plate, I hate gum chewing, I hate the spoon hitting the coffee cup, I hate the sound of someone slurping coffee, I hate it when my husband pics his teeth. I hate it when some smacks their food, I hate it when I can hear someone breatheing  hard. I hate it when people crunch chips or ice, I even hate the sound of my dogs licking themselves...HELP! Does anyone have this problem too?
 
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March 7, 2008, 5:54 am PST

Etiquette dilemmas

I think Kayla just wanted attention and by not dropping this she wants big bucks. By not accepting the apology and the free tickets, it proved it. She snookered Dr. Phil into believing she would drop things but then twisted it around and said she wouldn't be on another talk show. I bet if one asked her to appear she would again. She used Dr. Phil's kindness and connections to help her win her lawsuit.

 

I ended up burnt to a crisp and my insides make sounds of rusty pipes yet I didn't sue for millions. My husband almost died from a bone infection that went undetected for months and ended up in a body cast, yet he didn't sue. My cancer was misdiagnosed for 5 years and I was told it was all in my head. I didn't sue; I tried to make sure I stayed alive.... I lost my looks and health from others not doing their job right and that isn't right.

 

I was told I was too tall, thin, and beautiful when I stood up for my rights to work. I was told it couldn't go to court because the jury would take one look at me and feel that I deserved the abuse since I was so beautiful. How insane is that? I wore my husband's huge uniforms where the crouch went down to my knees...yet because I was pretty, that meant I deserved it? Plus I never even wore shorts during my lifetime... Yet I was told "anyone could 'imagine' what I looked like under the baggy clothes".

 

Plus many years later (while fighting to stay alive from cancer) when we were trying to defend against my in-law's crimes against us, again I was told I was too beautiful and the jury would conclude I was "a bitch" (me - someone that always treated everyone with kindness and I was fighting so hard just to stay alive from cancer) plus was told constantly, "She was too old to prosecute". Come on now! I was never rude to anyone in my whole life, yet because they didn't want to acknowledge that this woman deceived so many people (and I means so many) and it took little me to uncover her crimes, they use the excuse she is too old to prosecute. Dr. Phil should have considered having me on the show for relatives that rob heirs of their inheritance, etc., yet because she is old now, I was passed by and someone like Kayla gets on when she just had plans to pursue her lawsuit all along. Yet time limits passed on what we endured from my in-law and I sincerely just wanted to warn people how to protect their assets from the criminal relatives out there! So should I bitch that I was passed over?

 

I think Dr. Phil made a mistake having her on his show. Yes, she was cute, but no big deal. She isn't suing to make sure nothing like this happens to anyone else. Something like that doesn't happen that often, yet as for what we went through with being cheated by a relative (which I proved her pattern of cheating other relatives for decades), now that happens to TOO MANY trusting people out there. I feel helping to protect others on making sure they aren't left vulnerable to unconscionable relatives who feel they deserve everything for themselves and will do whatever it takes to get it for themselves, is a more deserving show that will help enlightened EVERYONE, not just one in a million, if that.

 
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March 7, 2008, 6:19 am PST

Ambushed by Dr. Phil

The young lady who was removed from the Southwest Airlines plane was then "ambushed" by Dr. Phil and the SA president.

 

The CEO refused to apologise until he was asked by Dr. Phil....and then he coulldn't even take a few moments to come on the show and look Kayla in the eye and say "Gee..I'm sorry one of my employees decided to become the "dress police"....and I am sure you were embarrased and upset so please let me apologise."

 

NO way! Instead he had Dr. Phil do it for him by reading a note! Some apology...

 

And then Dr. Phil tried his best to help his rich-buddy ...he tried to get this girl on national television to say she would not sue the jerks! He tried three times to get his buddy off the hook.

 

Surprise ...she was too smart...she promised no more TV talk-shows and that's all she promised.

 

And of course the audience moaned "awwww" - secretly thinking, "Wish I could sue the b$$$$s for discrimination!"

 

Dr. Phil...YOU OWE THIS GIRL AN APOLOGY

 

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