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Topic : 03/26 "Change My Face, Change My Race"

Number of Replies: 337
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:47:34 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/20/07) Most everyone has thought about removing imperfections -- a nip here, a tuck there. But some people want plastic surgery to erase their ethnic identity! First up is James. He says he doesn’t want to change anything about himself because Asians are intellectually superior, and women should obey men. His wife, Roseanna, says he’s a controlling racist who demeans women, and she says she needs help before he corrupts their 11-year-old son. James says he’s ready to serve Roseanna her walking papers if she doesn’t become more obedient. Is James a controlling bigot or simply misunderstood? Then, Dr. Phil explores the pros and cons of eyelid surgery -- one of the most common cosmetic procedures for Asian women … and one of the most controversial! He talks to a woman who had a fold added to her upper eyelid, a plastic surgeon who performs these procedures and two guests who believe the surgery erases Asian heritage. Plus, Brad says he hates his nose, and he wants plastic surgery to look less Italian. His mother, Debbie, says she loves the way he looks -- big schnoz and all! Brad’s surgery is only a month away. Can Debbie convince him he's perfect just the way he is before he goes under the knife? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 20, 2007, 10:00 am CDT

Italian Pride

Quote From: student_life

Granted that I've lived out of the U.S. for a few years, but I was incredibally surprised when I watched Dr. Phil talking with the individuals who wanted to change their facial features in order to look more Caucasion.

 

I wanted to ask Brad if he has ever visited Italy or has taken the effort to learn much concerning his family heritage? As a resident of the U.K., our family has enjoyed visiting Italy on several occassions. We love it! Italy is beautiful, industrious, and has a rich history. They possess national pride.

 

America historically has been a country that has accepted all nations to its borders. Lady Liberty continues to do that. However, based on watching this show, I wonder how we adopted the mental attitude that to be accepted and popular, it's necessary to look Caucasion? Please be proud of who you are!

 

Thankful to be an American,

student_life

To answer ur question, I have not yet been to Italy, but plan to go this year or next.  Also, yes, I know very much about my heritage, and yes I LOVE being an Italian.  I think the harsh show title makes it seem otherwise, but I love my heritage and family.  Just want to clear that up to everyone, I'm proud of who I am, I just don't like my big crooked nose!
 
September 20, 2007, 10:02 am CDT

people are wierd

I know a Filipino who wants to marry a young, thin, blond gal to have pretty kids with. 

By the way, his first marriage to a young, thin, blond gal lasted about one year. Off to the next one!!!

 
September 20, 2007, 10:47 am CDT

New Here and

 

Hi,  this is my first time posting here, almost anywhere for that matter.  I've browsed here a little and you all seem to be a nice group, not at all like some other boards I've seen!

 

Anyway, as I watched today's show, I was struck by just how narrowly Caucasian looks are defined.  My ancesters were predominantly Irish and German with just a little English and Cherokee.  The noses in my family are anything but small, straight and narrow.  Most of us have prominent noses and about half of us have noses alot like the young man on todays show.  We are also pale skinned and mostly light eyed.

 

I guess I am just saying that I think what was presented today as the Caucasian look is very idealized and narrow, representing only a small minority of people of European descent.  When I was in school, way back in the dark ages, we were taught that the look of the different races overlapped.  That Caucasian skin tone varied from ivory to olive, hair texture from straight to curly, eyes could be blue, green or brown.

 

I understand why Brad feels the way he does, because I felt the same way for years and at times badly wanted to have my nose shaved.  Now I am glad I did not.  I don't have a cookie cutter face and can honestly say I like the way I look. My nose has not hindered me professionally OR romantically. 

 

One last thing to Brad.  Think twice about that nose job.  I am a female, and while I thought my own nose too large; I've never found men with little straight noses very attractive. A man with a nose like Tony Bennett really gets my attention. 

 

 
September 20, 2007, 11:44 am CDT

Cant change your race only your face

No matter how many times you go in to have things changed on your face you still are the same person on the inside. I think it sad that someone would hate there race so much to go in and change there outer look. My great-grandparents came over from Japan and Germany, most wouldn't notice my eyes which are the only thing that is Japanese, I grow up hating them cause I felt it never matched my body but not cause I hated being part Japanese I don't mind that at all. I'm now okay with my eyes and even my husband tells me its one of the best features on me. My son even got the shape of my eyes, and of course I wouldn't change a thing on him. If you want to change something on your face or your body do it cause you just want it to look better, not because you hate yourself. You need therapy if you hate yourself, nothing changed on the outside will help you there.
 
September 20, 2007, 11:59 am CDT

grass is always greener

Quote From: raymom5

I know a Filipino who wants to marry a young, thin, blond gal to have pretty kids with. 

By the way, his first marriage to a young, thin, blond gal lasted about one year. Off to the next one!!!

I stand behind my title. Hear this all of you: I'm white, European, a natural blond (invisible eyelashes, brows - until I color them,) green eyed, tall, slim, etc. but ONE NASTY MOTHER BITCH if anyone tries to intimidate, threaten, or bully me into obedience! That said, I don't know if I have right to comment on this topic, since it looks like I have all the desirables.  I'm more than my looks, so, I believe I do have that right. White people have really screwed a lot of races; why would a beautiful, sexy, intelligent woman of other than white race want to be "white-looking" is beyond me. I find Asian, Black, Native and East Indian women absurdly beautiful. Regardless of color of skin or shape of eyes, the BIGGEST issue here is self-esteem, self-pride and ethno-self identity. Men will love you no less, or no more if you have this or that feature; men, women will not love you less, or more if you have this or that feature. It's who you are inside that counts. You don't go to bed with "aligned nose" or "white" looking eyelids, etc. That may work only for one-night-stands.

I would love to have an opportunity to pluck the heck out of my black, bushy eyebrows; love to go without mascara, love to have SOME color to my skin. But I wasn't given that. You may think it's easy for me to speak like this because I haven't walked in your pumps; OK. That's fair. But hear me out. If you are a woman who feels she NEEDS to look a certain way (e.g. change your ethnicity throuth looks ) in order to be desirable to a man, you're in for a catastrophic let-down. Sure, you'll have many men who will want to bed you, but will they be willing to make a commitment? WHAT DO YOU ALL FACE/RACE CHANGING PEOPLE HOPE TO HAPPEN?  If you don't feel good about yourself before the "life-changin-procedure" you're not going to feel better after it.

 

 
September 20, 2007, 12:14 pm CDT

How sad that poeple don't value themselves

How sad that people think that what's important is on the outside! If Jesus were standing beside them, would they still feel ugly? We are who we are...not what we look like. Some of the most "beautiful" people in the world were not considered attractive (ex. Mother Theresa, etc).

 

I went to school with Stewart. By most accounts, he was considered homely (in the face...big nose, reddish freckles, close-set eyes), but he had muscles and his personality lit up the room. Stewart could get any girl he wanted (well, the good ones anyway); they appareciated his brains, his compassion, how well he treated girls, etc. Then there was Joey; he was physcially gorgeous (to most), but  who would want to marry an arrogant, rude, tactless, self-centered jerk? Stewart is still married. Joey is divorced 2x over!

 

Mature people value the inside and give little value to the outside (which deteriorates with age). We are becoming a plastic, fake society. It's sad that so many of us are empty on the inside!!!

 

I'm been married to a handsome, rugged, bright, ambtious man for 19 years and I've gained 110 lbs since we met; he still calls me beautiful and he is my best friend and lover rolled into one. We all should strive to be that happy and secure of a person!

 
September 20, 2007, 12:18 pm CDT

Jerks

This guy just proves that jerks can come in all races.  I'm not usually in favor of divorce, but unless he is willing to "see the light", she needs to leave him.  It isn't going to get any better.
 
September 20, 2007, 12:18 pm CDT

What's in a nose? :)

Quote From: raymom5

I am an Italian-American.  I passed my Italian nose, big brown eyes, olive skin, and etc.  on to five absolutely gorgous boys.  I cannot believe people that get nose jobs, eye jobs....whatever.  My dad gave me my nose...I passed it on (along with hubby) and these kids are going to pass it on!!!!  That's the beauty of it.  No surgery will ever make it go away!!!  DUH!!!!

A nose is for breathing and blowing; we can't do w/o them. In the BIG scheme of life, who (of value and self-confidence) cares about the size of a nose?! Your Italian nose was a gift from God; it's perfect!

 

I passed on my bad hair to my two children, both of whom are attractive, bright, talented, athletic, compassionate (volunteer to help others, etc). In life, their hair will be the least of their problems. And if it's their hair that people care about, those people aren't worth their time!

 
September 20, 2007, 12:27 pm CDT

disgusted

 This is the first time that ive ever felt the need to write on dr phils message board, but James pissed me off so much that i needed to vent.  As a korean woman, James is the exact reason as to why i choose NOT to date within my racial group.  I am currently dating a black man and have been for the past 2 years and its been the best decision of my life so far.  James is a perfect "Asian Stereotype" of being "intelligently superior" wanting to make his wife a sexual slave and not wanting to make her an equal in his life.  I was disgusted by his ignorance and i hope he can learn to be uncontrolling, especially for the sake of his son. 


 
September 20, 2007, 12:30 pm CDT

Japanese Superiority

 My Japanese daughter-in-law will not speak to me, will not look at me, will not accept gifts from me and has made my granddaughter suspicious of me, as if I am an ogre.  My offense?  My grandfather was a funeral director--the only person in the family in the funeral business.  During the Great Depression he found himself jobless, with eight children to feed.  He was offered an apprenticeship, which he gladly accepted.  In Japan, anyone connected with the dead is called a "Burakumin," and is referred to as "eta hinin" and "yotsu."   In other words, "much or very polluted/unclean," and "not a person," -- yotsu is a four-legged animal.  On the "Japanese social ladder," a Burakumin is the muck the ladder sits in.  There should be no place in American culture for ancient bigotry, regardless of the origin.  I am angry, hurt and frustrated.
 
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