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Topic : 03/26 "Change My Face, Change My Race"

Number of Replies: 337
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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:47:34 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/20/07) Most everyone has thought about removing imperfections -- a nip here, a tuck there. But some people want plastic surgery to erase their ethnic identity! First up is James. He says he doesn’t want to change anything about himself because Asians are intellectually superior, and women should obey men. His wife, Roseanna, says he’s a controlling racist who demeans women, and she says she needs help before he corrupts their 11-year-old son. James says he’s ready to serve Roseanna her walking papers if she doesn’t become more obedient. Is James a controlling bigot or simply misunderstood? Then, Dr. Phil explores the pros and cons of eyelid surgery -- one of the most common cosmetic procedures for Asian women … and one of the most controversial! He talks to a woman who had a fold added to her upper eyelid, a plastic surgeon who performs these procedures and two guests who believe the surgery erases Asian heritage. Plus, Brad says he hates his nose, and he wants plastic surgery to look less Italian. His mother, Debbie, says she loves the way he looks -- big schnoz and all! Brad’s surgery is only a month away. Can Debbie convince him he's perfect just the way he is before he goes under the knife? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 14, 2007, 5:14 pm CDT

Todays Show

 I believe Doctor Phil spoke very brilliantly and said precisly what needed to be said to those woman , and I highly doubt any other psychologist could have done a better job ,cause most therapy in local cities are quik and regardless of any problem they would have probably resulted in a drug prescription on both parties which is not right .

Doctor Phil you are the Man " You are a true role model "
:Will

 
September 15, 2007, 6:04 pm CDT

I'm wondering.

Sometime in the past, I was told that parents of Down Syndrome children sometimes have eyelid surgery done on thier children. I wonder if this is done very often?
 
September 16, 2007, 2:55 am CDT

Nose Jobs

I have an Orthodox Jewish coworker (I'm Jewish myself, but secular), who's even more Orthodox daughter had a nose job - in Israel yet!

 

My snoz is pretty ethnic but I never dreamed of having it done - and here this very religious girl who considers me "not Jewish enough"  and uses the term "chosen people" daily, but isn't satisfied with the "chosen nose" that goes with it.

 

LOL!

 
September 16, 2007, 4:24 am CDT

I'm wondering exactly why Asian women have eyelid surgery?

Is it because they feel discriminated against because they are Asian? I think Asian women are beautiful. I'm not sure how the Asian guy fits into this story. He sounds like a Man Camp candidate to me. If an Asian woman has the eyelid surgery to make her look less Asian, which box does she check for ethnicity?
 
September 16, 2007, 8:25 am CDT

James and obedience

O.k...I'm seriously infuriated. James needs a "personality overhaul".  Culture is one thing, but he sounds like a complete control freak who could possible escalate into severe violence. I would bet at some point he has probably already hit her. Dr. Phil, if that lady is smart, she'll take the walking papers. This is the United States of America. Everyone has equal oppotunity. Why on earthh would that woman want to be a prisoner in her own environment?
 
September 17, 2007, 7:20 am CDT

I wish I looked more Asian

 I wish I looked more like the ethnic group I am. I am Dutch/Indonesian and get mistaken every day for Hispanic, Phillipino, Native American and more.

 

These women should be proud to be Asian and changing what you look like does not change where you

come from or who you are inside.

 

No matter who you are you should be proud of your heritage.

 
September 17, 2007, 7:24 am CDT

I Understand Completely

I am a 45 year old Caucasion American woman whom married an Asian man from Hong Kong. Even though my husband came here to the USA when he was 16 years of age, he still hasn't got with the program yet! I have been with him 20 years now and 17 of them married. He was totally different before we eloped, but as soon as those papers were signed, "HE WAS ALL, ME, ME AND ME".....  I always come #8. What I mean by that is, first comes himself, then his job (works in restaurant for family), then come his parents, then come his brother and sisters, then come his nieces and nephews, then comes anyone of Asian descent, then comes his own children (if they were full-blooded Asian they may have come 2nd), then comes me.

He has never physically hit me, but the silence and the verbal and emotional abuse has taken it's toll. I have done everything in my power to try and save our marriage (even went to a marriage councelor for a year "bye myself", he wouldn't even do a single phone-conversation with councelor). I have 3 boys and 1 girl and now my daughter is feeling the effects from it, this is why I must seriously get out!!!

I need your help Doctor Phil. There is absolutely no talking to this man, when I say "we need to sit-down and talk" he just about laughs in my face, there is now way he is going to take advice from a woman never mind listen to one, especially an American Woman.

Our daughter is absolutely georgous (modeling material) and I, myself, need one of Doctor Phils "Extreme Makeovers". I have no slef-esteem left, whatsoever. I hate myself for allowing things to deteriate this far, and especially hate myself due to the fact that my daughter asks me on a daily basis, "mom, please lets just get out of here and leave these men to fend for themselves".

My heart breaks for her, but I try to explain to her that with no money we are unable to go anywhere. A few months ago, he took the check-book and all the credit-cards away from me, another one of his control tactics.

I was working 5 days a week, down to 3 days a week, down to 1 day a week, so I just left (It's because almost all the work has been completed here since "Hurricane Charlie" hit and it seems as though there is a depression here, in Charlotte County, Florida.  Foreclosures went up 90% and taxes tripled since then and there are over 7,500 houses for sale here, not including the foreclosures which alone is 9,500 homes), and since I am not working, my husband hasn't spoken to me and has made his room on the sofa since. I think that the sofa part is the best thing that has happened in our relationship (will not tell him that) but, the "SILENCE" is another one of his control issues and it has broken the last straw on the camels back, so to speak.

I have taught myself how to tile and have made counter-tops for our kitchen, tiled Master-Bath and am 1/2 way done with guest bathroom/kids bathroom. I tell my husband that I have checked newspapers, online, etc. for a job, there is nothing out there, and that I am saving him a bunch of money doing all the tiling (due to Hurricane Charlie), and his responce is "your tiling doesn't pay my ******* bills!" I just want to puke when he speaks.

The race issue I can deal and live with but, the cultural issue I cannot live with any longer, and feel completely trapped.

I have written to the Tyra Banks Show trying to get my daughter into modeling, "this is my daughters goal and her dream", and I just know that she would be so good at it, but I would be embarassed for my daughter because of how I have let myself worth, and feel that I couldn't represent her in an up-lifting manner because of my appearance.

Please, Oh please Dr. Phil, help us.  THANK YOU!!!!

 

Truly,

 

L & E Chan

 
September 17, 2007, 5:10 pm CDT

09/20 "Change My Face, Change My Race"

 James is one of the most confused people in the world who doesn't have any idea of what he's saying. He just wants to be on TV i guess or just wants  to embarrassed his own race. I hope his wife will divorce him. I don't think your own race will like you either so go ahead, you yourself should change your face to white race....
 
September 17, 2007, 7:49 pm CDT

09/20 "Change My Face, Change My Race"

I wonder why a person would put them through that to change their ethnic identity ? It didn't work for Michael Jackson (made him look less human ).

Seriously though, I think all of us should take some pride in our unique identities and our ethnic origins (not to the point that you exclude, degrade or become bigotted against others ) but we all have rich ethnic heratiges, the good the bad and the ugly in all of them.

I am interested to see why someone would want to change who they are, our heritages are wrapped up in ourselves through upbringing (every group has their own ways of raising their children, and of course within each there will be diffrences and commonalities ).

In the case of the first guest, I wonder why he is the way he is ? Was he born and raised in the States ? If so was this the way he was raised (remember other men, though not excused for their behavior have been explained by this explanation, "he saw his parents relationship this way, and he grew up thinking it was the right way ", if he was born and raised in Asia, there are some cultures that still view men as Dominiant, and this is what he was conditioned to think from birth and his culture.

I'm looking forward to this one.

 
September 17, 2007, 10:19 pm CDT

Question to all

Whats the dirrerence in getting a boob job or a tummy tuck and changing your face?
 
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