Topic : 03/26 "Change My Face, Change My Race"

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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:47:34 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/20/07) Most everyone has thought about removing imperfections -- a nip here, a tuck there. But some people want plastic surgery to erase their ethnic identity! First up is James. He says he doesn’t want to change anything about himself because Asians are intellectually superior, and women should obey men. His wife, Roseanna, says he’s a controlling racist who demeans women, and she says she needs help before he corrupts their 11-year-old son. James says he’s ready to serve Roseanna her walking papers if she doesn’t become more obedient. Is James a controlling bigot or simply misunderstood? Then, Dr. Phil explores the pros and cons of eyelid surgery -- one of the most common cosmetic procedures for Asian women … and one of the most controversial! He talks to a woman who had a fold added to her upper eyelid, a plastic surgeon who performs these procedures and two guests who believe the surgery erases Asian heritage. Plus, Brad says he hates his nose, and he wants plastic surgery to look less Italian. His mother, Debbie, says she loves the way he looks -- big schnoz and all! Brad’s surgery is only a month away. Can Debbie convince him he's perfect just the way he is before he goes under the knife? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.


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September 20, 2007, 2:24 pm PDT

Hypocritical

Quote From: kmulren

 This is the first time that ive ever felt the need to write on dr phils message board, but James pissed me off so much that i needed to vent.  As a korean woman, James is the exact reason as to why i choose NOT to date within my racial group.  I am currently dating a black man and have been for the past 2 years and its been the best decision of my life so far.  James is a perfect "Asian Stereotype" of being "intelligently superior" wanting to make his wife a sexual slave and not wanting to make her an equal in his life.  I was disgusted by his ignorance and i hope he can learn to be uncontrolling, especially for the sake of his son. 


Sigh!

 

Uhh, aren't black men stereotyped as being aggressive, womanizers/cheaters/players, prone to violence and criminality, etc. - stereotypes which, I'm sure, you would agree are unfair.

 

But ironically, it seems YOU have no problem stereotyping Asian or Korean males (how do you feel about people who stereotype Asian females as being exotic, submissive sex kittens?).

 

Keep in mind, the other main stereotype about Asian males is totally the OPPOSITE - that they are weak, effeminate and not "macho" enough.

 

So which is it?  (Unfortunately, people such as yourself believe in either stereotypes due to their own inherent biases). 

 

I guess there is (according to you) - no such thing  as a "normal", balanced Asian male.

 

I think you need to work on your own ignorance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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September 20, 2007, 2:24 pm PDT

I'm with you!!! What a jerk!

Quote From: momco717

I can only hope that when Roseanna left the show, she hit the ground running......in the opposite direction of James. I imagine it would be difficult enough being married to a racist, but one that is also controlling and in my opinion, mentally abusive, would be a deal breaker for me. I search for intelligent words to describe the way I feel about James and his behavior, but all I come up with is IGNORANT and IDIOT!

 

She needs to think about her kids and run, run, run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Hopefully the control freak won't stalk her.....what a real jerk!
 
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September 20, 2007, 2:27 pm PDT

plastic surgery/change my face

 Hello I watched todays show. I don't think it is a big deal for people to change something on there body there not happy with. Personally, I like who I am and find no desire to have any plastic surgery or any changes. Everyone has the right to change anything about there appearance it is a free country. Thanks,
Brandi.
 
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September 20, 2007, 2:33 pm PDT

Nose and eyelids

I don't get it.  I was born with a partial cleft palate and hair lip when I was born.  I had some surgery on my nose in the 70's.  It really wasn't that much of an improvement considering the technology back then.  I was teased as a child also.  I am now 46 with no health insurance.  I see what they can do now with plastic surgery and I think of getting my nose redone.   I have lived with this all my life and have been successful in family and business.   Today, with all the technology we have I think that it is too accessible for people to get unnecessary surgeries.  Which drive up health care cost and too many doctors take advantage of it.  There is a difference between plastic surgery and cosmetic surgery.  The surgeries the show were cosmetic, not medically necessary.   Maybe if I had extra money I would do it too.  Not bound to happen.

 

Oh and yeah for your producer for not buying into the Hollywood thing.

 
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September 20, 2007, 2:38 pm PDT

09/20 "Change My Face, Change My Race"

Quote From: flthomcat

A nose is for breathing and blowing; we can't do w/o them. In the BIG scheme of life, who (of value and self-confidence) cares about the size of a nose?! Your Italian nose was a gift from God; it's perfect!

 

I passed on my bad hair to my two children, both of whom are attractive, bright, talented, athletic, compassionate (volunteer to help others, etc). In life, their hair will be the least of their problems. And if it's their hair that people care about, those people aren't worth their time!

Breathing and blowing, yes, but it is also usually the first and most noticeable trait of a person.  As for mine, not only is it large, but it is also broken and points left.  Maybe I do have a lack of self-confidence in the nose department, so if I want to take care of myself both physically (by improving my breathing which has been damaged from the break) and mentally/emotionally (by make my nose more appealing cosmetically) what is the problem?  I'm still the same person inside, and as Dr. Phil said to me, there is nothing wrong with wanting to look on the outside how I feel on the inside.
 
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September 20, 2007, 2:41 pm PDT

09/20 "Change My Face, Change My Race"

Quote From: housewife52

Is it because they feel discriminated against because they are Asian? I think Asian women are beautiful. I'm not sure how the Asian guy fits into this story. He sounds like a Man Camp candidate to me. If an Asian woman has the eyelid surgery to make her look less Asian, which box does she check for ethnicity?
I agree with you. I honestly, find myself jelous of Asian woman's beauty often. So it seems so absurd to me that they would want to change their eyes. I'm like, "But you're crazy, I'd love to look like you!"
 

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September 20, 2007, 2:41 pm PDT

Who does this guy think he is?!

I thought the whole "keep the woman in the kitchen" idea ended ages ago. I think James is unbelievable - it makes me sick to think he can think the way he does and go on like there's nothing wrong with it. James actually has the audacity to believe that equality in a marriage is a farce. Are you serious?! This is beyond words and James is beyond prayer because, if I were him, I wouldn't be able to live with myself thinking that way.

 

And his belief that Asians are superior?! How can he possibly think that?! I was never aware that one culture was better than the other. This is so childish!

 
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September 20, 2007, 2:42 pm PDT

Thank you!!

Quote From: karent45

 

My father is 50% Italian, so I guess that makes me 25% Italian.  I have struggled with having a big nose myself.  Mostly I got picked on about my nose in school.  I have always hated the way my nose has looked.  I know what Brad is going through because I go through it myself.  I have a sister who has the perfect little nose, not to mention she is really pretty.  I am attractive myself, except for my big nose.  I am a very strong, intelligent person who is not influenced by any others but myself.  I also have a deviated septum and have had problems breathing through my right side of my nose.  I have also checked into having a nose job along with possibly fixing my septum and breathing problems, but even if I didn't  have the breathing problems I would still consider the nose job.  I feel that it is Brad's nose and nobody else's and if he wants to change his appearance to make himself look and feel better about himself that is his business and not his mother's or realative's business.  My mother isn't all for me changing my nose, but mostly she is concerned with my nose collapsing and not the fact that  I would change my ethic backgound.  My ethic backgound and where I come from doesn't change just because I change my appearance and neither will Brad's ethic background change.  His mom and relative's need to get over theirself and respect the fact that he wants to make himself  look better.  You go "Brad"!  Karen from Michigan

Thank you so much!!! : )
 
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September 20, 2007, 2:43 pm PDT

James

I think James needs to learn to seperate corporate views from home views, it is good to have things stable but marriage is a partnership and he is treating his family as if it is a company, I hope she leaves him and doesn't look back, as for saying white people are the trash of the world, when he said he didn't say that I knew he did, he blushed and stumbled over his words, to me that meant he really did mean that, I know people of all differant races who are very smart people, but what makes them smarter than James, is they know how to treat people and his family,  a word for you James get real!!! treat your family like a real family. not a company!!!!
 
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September 20, 2007, 2:45 pm PDT

09/20 "Change My Face, Change My Race"

Quote From: sassybrandis

Dear Dr. Phil,

 

I have the same nose as the young gentleman on your show. I am 23 years old and have also been teased about my nose and considered getting a corrective surgery....or should I say cosmetic. I have in the past had a breast augmentation/reconstruction for abnormal breasts, though my nose has not bothered me enough to get a surgery, I have mentioned it to my mother and she has the same reaction as his. It is quite frustrating when you are so unhappy about a part of your body and you dont feel supported to improve it from the people you love the most.

He seems like a intelligent young man who knows what he wants. I was the same way about my breasts when I was younger than him.

Go for what makes you feel more comfortable, dont count on it to make you happy, just easier in your own skin.

Thank you for understanding where im coming from :)
 

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