Topic : 03/26 "Change My Face, Change My Race"

BRAD - You are cute, don't change your nose. Save your money and change your view of yourself. Soon you will be dealing with more mature people and they will see that there's a lot more to a person than the shape of their nose. Instead, develop your career and hobbies that make you an interesting person.

EYELID SURGERY - This is soooo unnecessary!  Ladies save your money. Just wear your hair cute and pretty clothes.

OBEY YOUR HUSBAND - A smart man leads with kindness and tenderness, not demands, bad attitude, and bad temper.  Women want to please a loving husband, not a demanding, demeaning one.

You are very pretty.

Hi Dr. Phil,

i found your show very interesting today. i undestand it was originally aired in 2007. However, I work during the day and tivo you so i can keep up ;)

I really appreciate you addressing this issue towards other races, especially with Asian Americans. i am 1/2 Chinese and 1/2 German, growing up in the midwest, in a predominately white area was also challenging. I felt like i never fit in with any other group than the asians, and i also felt that i never looked asian enough. While most Asians are trying to look more Western, I was trying to figure out why i didnt look like either side of my family. One never really does fit in. At 28, i bought a house 6 minutes from my parents, and am grateful for the challenges or opportunities that were set before me. Racism, prejudice will always be there. The grass is always greener.

But thank you Dr Phil for showing the Asian aspect on things! It also showed my boyfriend a few things he didnt know that i was internally battling and brought great conversation between us!

Sincerely

Stefanie

Unbelievable!  this is the 21st century and we still have men like James that think they can control their spouse and children.  I had a sister who married an Asian man, too. He controlled their life, their finances, the way the eat, drink, talk, talked down to my sister and more.  He thought he was the king and my sister was the servant that cooked, cleaned and took care of the kids.  He did not physically abuse her but he certainly mentally abused her.  Finally after 13 years (which was too long), she finally made the right decision - my sister divorced the "jerk"!!!  Now my sister, has her dignity back, lives life to the fullest, works, has skills, makes her own decision and is happier than ever.  Roseanna - leave him, he will not change - control freak will always be a control freak - just like drugs.  YOU will survive without James and you will be a better person than you can imagine.  It will be hard work but it is worth it!!! You do not need anyone to CONTROL YOU! You are beautiful, wonderful and smart woman.  This is not about the race it is about treating people with respect and dignity.  James is not a leader - he is a "loser"!!!  Move on Roseanna!!

All the best and may your life blossom someday soon :)

Hi Dr. Phil

I watched your show today and I am very much for the young man that wants to have his nose changed. Why should he be any different than say someone that wants to have larger breasts or a face lift. It is his body and he should be able to do what he wants to it especially when it effects him the way it does. I say you go for it young man. More power to you. You will still be Italian and a good one at that I say.

I definitely believe people are getting too carried away with surgeries these days.  I, too, found myself, when I was younger, obsessed with my looks and wanted to get breast augmentation.  I went so far as to meet with a surgeon.  I never did it and am SOOOOOOO glad I didn't.    After children, while I was breastfeeding, my breasts grew so large, I realized how uncomfortable I was.  I couldn't find a comfortable position to sleep in and couldn't find "cute" bras at the store, only the ugly and boring type.  I was so glad to get back to my normal size I have never looked back.

I have since realized my body, and no one else's is perfect and have learned to put all that "thought-energy" I was wasting on how I looked into other people and making a difference in the world.  That is how I choose now to use this time in my head.

Also, my current boyfriend had an "ethnic" nose when he was younger.  He was always told how he looked like Al Pacino (who has a great honker!!!!).  He did have a nose job done and immediately regretted it.  He had someone who was considered the best in the business and "screwed" it up.  He had two more surgeries to fix it, but never got his same nose back.  Now 20 years later, appreciates better the nose he had been born with and wishes he had never had it done.

The lesson here I think is that our children are buying into thoughts and ideas that are not realistic, nor even really important or pertinent to their lives and are making a lot more out of how they look than who they are.  The young man today stated he wants people to pay attention to him not his nose, then HE needs to stop putting so much energy into thinking about his nose and what others are thinking and start paying more attention to what he actually wants to DO with his life and how HE WANTS to be perceived.  He has control over that, no one apparently has taught him.

The one quote that gets me through so many of my days:  YOU DON"T HAVE TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK.