Quote From: momotyI'm writing regarding my daughter. She is a very good friend to people. She goes the extra mile, tries to be mindful of others' feelings, that sort of thing. There is one person in particular with whom she seemed to share a close friendship--best friends--, but the more time goes by, the more it seems this girl only wants friendship on her terms. I brought my daughter up that a true friend is there to listen and be there, can disagree and can not like everything about a person and still like and be friends with that person. Granted, my daughter is one of those extra-sensitive, take everything to heart type of people who reads into every facial expression and action, but this girl has been brought up that she can do no wrong. Then it's like she punishes her for not agreeing. When it gets right down to it, is my daughter too sensitive or is the other girl a little self centered and egotistical, or maybe a little of both. Thank you .
There are people in the world. in my opinion who are extra sensitive like your daughter. I find myself the same way. I pick up on the smallest facial expression, a tone of voice, tone in a email, anything that could come across as insensitive I can pick up on. However, I have learned that I am not always reading the other persons motives corectly. The question she needs to ask herself is what is her friends "intent"? Did the friend disregard her feelings on purpose? or was she just thinking about other matters? Does the friend show her friendship and carin in another way?
A lot of people differ in how they show thatthey care. Some people are emotional- like hugs, words like, "you're my best friend , thanks." and do things like show their friendship by putting their friend first..where other people can be a bit more distant-not comfy with showing how they feel.
Could also be that the friend has many more friends and does not put any friend higher then the next, whereas your daughter wants to be that "best friend" the one to tell all too- when the friend goes and tells the secret to another instead.
It's hard to tell with such little information given.
If the friend has good intent and shows their caring and friendship another way-less subtle and is not aware that their behaviour hurts or upsets your daughter, your daughter may need to talk with the friend and discuss the situation and how they feel- truth and honesty are very important in any relationship whether its a parent or a friend or a lover. Either that or your daughter should pull back a little, not in coldness, but in a loving wau where they are still there for the friend but are not bending over backwards doing things where the other would not do in return. Behave the way you want to be treated-show the friend how she wants to be treated by treating her that way..but don't act over board like i stated.
That's all I can think of at the moment..Really it is hard to say as I don't know much on the situation..like ages...or how they behave, what the upsets are about..ect
