Topic : Being a Good Friend

I've lived a long time and I've know many people and called many, many of them "friends" but when the final truth is known there are no ideal, lasting  FRIENDS.  Some people you can become better "aquainted" with than others and share more pleasant times with because of things in common, but the idea that we all have and want to find just does not exist.  More people are hurt by expecting too much of someone as a "friend" such as devotion; sincerity; true affection; quality time; mutual appreciation; respect; understanding and many other things that we tend to desire in a "friend".  It just does not exist!!  All people are too SELFISH to have a devoted "friendship".   Enjoy the "momentary'  episodes, but never expect anyone to want the same as you for over a day or two. YOU'LL BE HURT ALMOST EVERY TIME.    It's nice to know good people, but they wont  ever become your FRIEND.  Life goes on!!!

 okay, I am having some issues with my best friend.  My best friend happens to be my ex-husbands sister.  Last May shefounda receipt in my purse for a pregnancy test, and her responce was that "I would be mad at you"  first of all I was 23, single and scared to death, and it really didn't seem like my best friend talking.  So the next day I took the test and it was positive, but I didn't have it in me to tell her especially after what she had said, and I felt so guilty.  The next month I had a miscarriage and I really needed Heathe (best friend) but she wasn't there because she didn't know I was expecting.   Finally in december the truth came out, she apologized, but I still can't forgive her.  Today would have been my due date, so it is all coming back to me.  I know that I should have told her the truth from the very beginning but why would i tell  someone something so they could be mad at me.  Anyway i need to know how to forgive her, because I love her like a sister.  Any suggestions. 

thanks 

Questions: Is it possible that she said what she said in a momentary state of bad judgement? She would have been mad at you, exactly why..?? My advice to you is to bring this up to her. Let her know- what do you have to lose, anyway? You need to let her know that that test was positive and that you miscarried, and that you really could have used her support. This is her opportunity to apologize. If she doesn't... well, honestly, what an uncaring and callous friend! But I have a feeling, if she is a true friend, she will apologize, because there are times when friends do say insensitive things, things that they really do not mean. Give her the chance to be sorry, because right now, she doesn't even know she has something to be sorry about. This will make you feel so much better! I urge you to do this as soon as possible. I wish you the best!

Being a good friend, is being able to be honest, be true and be real. When things get tough with a friend, its better to be straight with them, and not to make lies to make things seem better.  

  A good friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you anyway. My best friend  Amy and I met in high school. Then I moved away she still wrote me letters and sent me all occasion cards for eighteen monthes without much return contact. Then I came back she went to college and was in a very serious relationship. Her boyfriend didn't like me so we didn't talk often but when we did we talked for hours. I chose a different path in life I was searching for love through sex. Although I didn't find love in a man. I found unconditional love in the new life growing inside me. My first child was a huge wake up call I had to grow up and be a resposible adult .If I I was going to be a single parent . I got a good job. An appartment of my own. When Amy found out she was so supportive. Things were going great, but I didn't realize till years later how vulnreble I was. I got serious for almost 8 years and three children later to a man who never really loved me just felt trapped. So  this brings us to the present. She is a college graduate. I am a proud mother of  four who beat the odds and found the man of her dreams who loves her more than she ever thought possible. So for me there was happy ever after.  I got married a month ago. Thanks Amy for all your love andd support throughout the last 13 years

We live in a very active neighborhood, we all spend time together, dinners, pool, kids activities, vacations, ect. I actually have two friends from before marriage and kids that live here too. One of those friends, Amy, has been my best friend for the past 15 years. She is hilarious, sweet, talented, and always in a great mood. Love her! Well, I used to love her. About 10 years ago, her husband (airline pilot) had an affair.....I told Amy to give it up....leave him. She refused my suggestion and turned on me. After they reconciled, I felt horrible......I was not a good friend to her, she knew what she had was worth fighting for.....and until it happens to you, you have no idea how you would react. I was wrong and apoligized. We all made up and by chance all moved into the same neighborhood. THIS IS WHERE THE TOUBLE STARTED! In this neighborhood, we have one chick named Wendy, no one can stand her but for some reason we hang out with her. It's like it's easier to tolerate her than to make waves......she always has a sour look on her face and she's just real b*tch (sorry). Wendy is VERY competiive and always wants to win.....including isolating my friendship from Amy. It's like she wants to "win" Amy from me. Well, Amy and her husband, Wendy and her husband and another couple, went on a vacation together. While there, Amy's husband and Wendy had sex. Yes.....I said sex. How do I know.....because the day they got back, Amy's husband told my husband all the details. Additioanlly, he told 3 other people the same story. After some time, the story got back to me. I flipped.....cheated AGAIN and with her, of all people!!! In the meantime, Wendy has "won" Amy from everyone and no one hardly talks to them anymore, she and Wendy do everything together. I feel sometimes she parades Amy around in front of us.......like "she's my friend now!" I'm not sure if Amy knows or not??? I called Amy's husband directly and asked him what was he thinking. He denied it. I called Wendy directly and told her I thought she was using Amy to be close to Jeff. She denied it. I basically said "You are not Amy's friend and you do not support their marraige" She basically laughed at me. I didn't want to be the one to tell Amy, because she is under some sort of spell with Wendy. She would never belive me. Now things have escalated beyond belief....I am the bad guy that has tried to cause problems with Amy's marriage. Amy won't even look at me, she and Jeff walk the other way when I'm around and alot of people question my motives. Amy's husband and Wendy are tennis partners, go jogging together, and the four of them are planning another tropical get-a-way!!! This is not a question of jealousy in my friendship with Amy. She has always had MANY friends outside of me. She attracts people to her, I have no problem with that. My problem is shecan't see that Wendy has isolated her and is using the facade of a friendship with Amy just to be close to her husband. I am so sad and feel horrible that I have divided the neighborhood.

I feel sorry for you, truly!  

This is a bestest friend situation for sure. Mari and I met through our husband, they were best friends, they are not today. I divorced him 9 years ago, he was treating me lousy.  Mari, and I had seperated for a short time, and then met in the market , she was wearing a wig, she had Cancer and on Chemo. Before that we spent so much time together, shopping on Saturday's getting coffee we live five minute away from each other.  

  

I would check in on her, and we talked every day.  We like allot of the same things, and enjoy, the Saturday's out.  She always would, be there for me and I for her, in good times and bad.  

  

I could have never made it through the last 9 years, and with the short time between about 2 years, 22 years prior.  She got off the bus from work , to sit with me, after surgery, she took days off to be sit with me at my fathers funneral.  We take turns driving, she shares taking turns cooking for our other friend, and we are always think of others, and helping.  I can tell her any thing, and I have never been disappointed in her, I would be lost without her, she says the same.  I woke up in the hospital to find her there, and blessed three other close friend.  

She is trust worthy and caring, and would never question her honesty.  

  

There are few bestfriend in the world, because no one wants too be the one to start giving. Then step back and let them give.   

  

If the whole world is dark, she is the light, someone said, she is allot like me and other way around. I know that when her husband, we in the car with me waiting, and I was stood up by guy. I did not stop in my choice of words and pick them causiously, and to my surprise, he said, looking over his shoulder," Mari" I say no, he said, "yes" no she was in the house, I said, "no way" he laughed. He said, we uses the same expression when we are mad. I have in 33 year never heard Mari say anything bad. I guess you have too really push the botton just right. She has other friend, and she does her friend things with them, as I do, but we just know, God did a great thing, we go too church almost every Sunday and get a coffee.  

  

My mother is 86 years old, my neighbor and she have been friends for 50 years. They still go out at least 5 time a week they now are widowed. They talk on the phone and share stories and trouble, they even go to the doctors with each other for company. We grow up with this womans husband like a father too us. I did my vacations with them in Florida. They packed up all of us for camping trips and movie at the driven. This friend , was fairly well of and would by icecream for his 5 and our 10 children. I think it is the world it wound to tight, the spring has too let go some where.  

  

So there are truly best friends, I would get up sick myself to care for my friends but we do not just say it, we live it. Talk is cheap.  

  

Hope you find a friend that becomes your best friend.  

  

  

I have been truly blessed in the friends that I have.  

  

My "best" friend is the daughter of my parents best freinds... so we truly have been together all of our lives. We are 50 and 51 yrs old, and still are as close as sisters. My husband and I visited her and her husband just tonight and had a really good time just talking and relaxing together.  We have been God-parents for each others children, were in each others weddings, have supported each other through sadness and celebrated each others successes. She has enriched my life in so many ways. 

  

I lost another very close friend to cancer almost 2 yrs ago. He and I had been close since Jr high, so about 35 yrs. I still miss him and cherish the memories we made together.  

  

I have 4 friends who I have met online. One I have worked with on a parenting site for 7 yrs. The other 3 worked under me on the same site. Even though I resigned from that job a few months ago, we still call each other, talk on instant messengers, and make a point of keeping in contact. I can't express how much these friendships have added to my life.  

  

Anyone who claims that friendships can't last just hasn't a clue as to how important friends are and the value you have to place on maintaining relationships. It does take effort sometimes, as there's no one you're always going to agree with!  Sometimes you simply have to agree to disagree and focus on the things you do share.  

  

It's SO worth the effort... If I can do it, anyone can.  Life is a whole lot more fun when you have friends to share it with! 

Hello, 

  

I do have a true friend. She is awesome. We spend our Friday's together. We have been through thick and thin. Births,Deaths,Divorce,Marraige. All of it. We get together on Friday's and howl. We laugh about the present, cry about some of the past, and pray for the future. Her enthusiasm's overwhelm me. She is an outstanding person. Stands by her convictions and what it is she believes in and allows me to do the same. We do not  have some of the same beliefs, but that's ok. We know we can trust each other and confide in each other. We know that one thing is for sure we can absolutely count on each other for whatever comes up. One of her kids is my godchild and her daughter is now my godchild. It is a wonderful thing. I am so happy to have her as my friend. We call when we can't bear another minute and somehow it is all straightened out by a few minutes of chatting with an old friend who knows you better than any one else. my friend is  incredible. I  remember as a child my Mother saying to me. If you have only a few friends in your life time, consider yourself a lucky person. I am very lucky.  

The man that I call my best friend is undescribable.  We had originally met about 6 years ago thru my little brother.  Yeah we saw each other periodically over the years.  Over the years we didn't really have much to do with each others lives.  UNTIL NOW.  This past weekend we just happened to bump into each other at one of the hang out spots here in town.  From that moment on we've been spending SO MUCH time together.  It seems like every moment of our spare time in the last few days has been with each other.  We've had plenty of long talks about our ex's, about our pasts, about what we want out of life, just about everything.  We've even talked about us as a couple.  Just taking it day by day and step by step - just taking baby steps.....Just letting things run it's coarse and if things happen they happen, if they don't then it wasn't ment to be.  He's got a 4 year old little girl that I just adore and I adore her in return. I don't have any children of my own.  But this little girl has turned into my world just within the week that we (as in the 3 of us) have spent together.  He's brought out emotions in me that I thought were dead.  I'm afraid that I'm falling for my best friend and I don't want either one of us to get hurt in the long run. So I don't know if I should just keep being his best friend or if I should just turn and walk and let it ride right now before we get to emotionally involved.  I know that it's been so nice to be such great friends with a man and not have to worry about sex getting in the way.  So  I'm terrified with the thought of feeling this way.  But I know I've got to be there for his emotional support because of the situation that he's in now. The price of learning to love strong and to love hard.....That's what I wanna do but I don't want to get hurt.  How do I avoid getting hurt but still provide the emotional and mental support that I know he needs.