Topic : Being a Good Friend

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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:18:38 am
Author : dataimport
What does it mean to be a good "friend"? Has  someone shown you the true meaning of friendship? Share your story here.

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April 20, 2006, 10:43 am PDT

Yep - you've got a treasure!

Quote From: gottaheart

  I believe that  a good friend will always be there for you, no matter what it is. I have a best friend which we have been friends since we were 7 years old. I have been there for her I don't know how many times, and she has been there for me as well. We can tell each other anything, whether it's good or bad. We have the perfect friendship I think. I'm not saying we don't fight but believe me we  have the best friendship anyone could ever ask for. Everywhere we go people think we are twins and if not that then they think we are sisters. We do anything and everything together. We think of each other more like sisters than friends. I could read her like a book to someone and she can do the same on me. A true friend is someone you can trust in, a person you can see yourself in, a person who is beautiful not only on the outside but on the inside as well. If you knew my best friend you would really know what a true friend is.    

  I wish Dr. Phil would have a show on what really is a true friend. Let all of us who think and believe we have true friends bring them on the show just so everyone out there who isn't all the best of a friend see how true friends are. I think everyone needs a true friend. With out mine I really would be lost.    

I had such a friend.  She passed away 4 1/2 yrs ago and I miss her so.  We told everything to each other because we knew that the other would support us even when we think it was a smart move.  We'd help each other work and talk through stuff.  I meet Lori when she moved to my school in the first grade and she passed away just before I turned 40.  She was wonderful! 

  

You've got a treasure so be sure to let her know how you feel and enjoy her every day! 

  

A lot of people have acquaintances that they call friends just like many have sex partners that they call loves.  So few people REALLY open up and get to the REAL depth of human relationships. 

  

Thanks for talking about your friend and reminding me of mine so thoroughly. 

  

 
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April 20, 2006, 11:06 am PDT

You are right!

Quote From: thereelme

Relationships in general can be very complicated. Friendships are especially for me. Sometimes you just never know who are your true friends. It's hard to find a mutual relationship, and a bondess that will last in a friendship. What i find most difficult for me is someone of similar interest and someone who puts as much effort in a friendship as I do. I've been up and down with friends that i really feel has been beyond my control. But you can only take it one day at a time and maybe someday there will be someone who understands and can appreciate you. 

Real friendship like all good things in life, take a lot of time and energy and you get hurt more than not. But when you find a really good one - it's worth all that trouble and so much more.... 

  

 To be taken seriously and honestly, by someone who looks out for your best interest as much as for their own is an amazing thing.   

  

Always remember that the friendship is only worth as much as the effort you put into it!  Sometimes there will be times when you are giving more than geting and then when the time comes to get if the person is truly your friend - they will be there no matter what it takes.  Not necessarily there physically (because sometimes distance is a problem) but they will ALWAYS be there emotionally and supportively no matter what is wrong or how long you go through it.  A really good friend won't always tell you what you 'want' to hear but will have the guts and the love to tell you what you 'need' to hear if they think it's time. 

  

Also, remember that there are different lengths to friendships some for a specifc time (during your childhood, your childrens lives, etc) in your life, some for a specific reason (during a special illness, divorce, etc  - someone going through the same thing, etc), and then those amazing ones that last a lifetime. 

  

Good luck on your journey! 

 
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April 20, 2006, 9:24 pm PDT

In a similar situation

Quote From: thereelme

Relationships in general can be very complicated. Friendships are especially for me. Sometimes you just never know who are your true friends. It's hard to find a mutual relationship, and a bondess that will last in a friendship. What i find most difficult for me is someone of similar interest and someone who puts as much effort in a friendship as I do. I've been up and down with friends that i really feel has been beyond my control. But you can only take it one day at a time and maybe someday there will be someone who understands and can appreciate you. 

I think I can identify with your situation. I have this friend at work and she is the most unpredictable person I have ever come across in my entire life, but for whatever reason I just seem to like her, I am the only one that she gets along with, but at the same time if I become friendly with the other people in the office she goes absolutely beserk., but yet she will not go the extra mile for me, its me that has to console her when she is down and it is always me that has to take the first step. This last weekend I went out for lunch with an ex-coworker for lunch whom my friend absolutely hated, and just because I went out for lunch, she came inthe very next day and quit her job - it does not make any sense to me.  I have always put 100% in this friendship, but with her it is always her, her and more of her, and she obviously does not seem to appreciate anything.  So I can understand were you are coming from and hopefully one day someone would really appreciate us. 
 
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April 20, 2006, 9:26 pm PDT

In a similar situation

Quote From: thereelme

Relationships in general can be very complicated. Friendships are especially for me. Sometimes you just never know who are your true friends. It's hard to find a mutual relationship, and a bondess that will last in a friendship. What i find most difficult for me is someone of similar interest and someone who puts as much effort in a friendship as I do. I've been up and down with friends that i really feel has been beyond my control. But you can only take it one day at a time and maybe someday there will be someone who understands and can appreciate you. 

I think I can identify with your situation. I have this friend at work and she is the most unpredictable person I have ever come across in my entire life, but for whatever reason I just seem to like her, I am the only one that she gets along with, but at the same time if I become friendly with the other people in the office she goes absolutely beserk., but yet she will not go the extra mile for me, its me that has to console her when she is down and it is always me that has to take the first step. This last weekend I went out for lunch with an ex-coworker for lunch whom my friend absolutely hated, and just because I went out for lunch, she came inthe very next day and quit her job - it does not make any sense to me.  I have always put 100% in this friendship, but with her it is always her, her and more of her, and she obviously does not seem to appreciate anything.  So I can understand were you are coming from and hopefully one day someone would really appreciate us. 
 
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April 20, 2006, 9:27 pm PDT

In a similar situation

Quote From: thereelme

Relationships in general can be very complicated. Friendships are especially for me. Sometimes you just never know who are your true friends. It's hard to find a mutual relationship, and a bondess that will last in a friendship. What i find most difficult for me is someone of similar interest and someone who puts as much effort in a friendship as I do. I've been up and down with friends that i really feel has been beyond my control. But you can only take it one day at a time and maybe someday there will be someone who understands and can appreciate you. 

I think I can identify with your situation. I have this friend at work and she is the most unpredictable person I have ever come across in my entire life, but for whatever reason I just seem to like her, I am the only one that she gets along with, but at the same time if I become friendly with the other people in the office she goes absolutely beserk., but yet she will not go the extra mile for me, its me that has to console her when she is down and it is always me that has to take the first step. This last weekend I went out for lunch with an ex-coworker for lunch whom my friend absolutely hated, and just because I went out for lunch, she came inthe very next day and quit her job - it does not make any sense to me.  I have always put 100% in this friendship, but with her it is always her, her and more of her, and she obviously does not seem to appreciate anything.  So I can understand were you are coming from and hopefully one day someone would really appreciate us. 
 
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April 20, 2006, 9:30 pm PDT

Being a Good Friend

Quote From: ladyluke

I've lived a long time and I've know many people and called many, many of them "friends" but when the final truth is known there are no ideal, lasting  FRIENDS.  Some people you can become better "aquainted" with than others and share more pleasant times with because of things in common, but the idea that we all have and want to find just does not exist.  More people are hurt by expecting too much of someone as a "friend" such as devotion; sincerity; true affection; quality time; mutual appreciation; respect; understanding and many other things that we tend to desire in a "friend".  It just does not exist!!  All people are too SELFISH to have a devoted "friendship".   Enjoy the "momentary'  episodes, but never expect anyone to want the same as you for over a day or two. YOU'LL BE HURT ALMOST EVERY TIME.    It's nice to know good people, but they wont  ever become your FRIEND.  Life goes on!!!

I think you could not have said it any better, I am still to find the one true friend.  It always seems to me that I am the one that is giving and I never seem to get even a thank you. 

 
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April 21, 2006, 3:54 pm PDT

Being a Good Friend

Quote From: meshagomes

I think I can identify with your situation. I have this friend at work and she is the most unpredictable person I have ever come across in my entire life, but for whatever reason I just seem to like her, I am the only one that she gets along with, but at the same time if I become friendly with the other people in the office she goes absolutely beserk., but yet she will not go the extra mile for me, its me that has to console her when she is down and it is always me that has to take the first step. This last weekend I went out for lunch with an ex-coworker for lunch whom my friend absolutely hated, and just because I went out for lunch, she came inthe very next day and quit her job - it does not make any sense to me.  I have always put 100% in this friendship, but with her it is always her, her and more of her, and she obviously does not seem to appreciate anything.  So I can understand were you are coming from and hopefully one day someone would really appreciate us. 
Sorry but she sounds a little crazy?  who quits a job because of an ex co worker?
 

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April 22, 2006, 12:11 am PDT

Need advice

I live in an apartment complex and a couple weeks ago a girl moved in across the way. We started to chitchat and we've been friendly.

But in those talks I've learned a few things that I just am a little nervous about. Firstly, she's only 18 and I'm 27. She lives with her boyfriend and he isn't very friendly, he's 23.

She has told me things about herself like, she was addicted to meth and has been "clean" for 14 months now. She also has several DUI tickets and she will be taken to jail if she doesn't pay some fines (I don't know all the details on that) also she smokes, a HUGE petpeeve of mine.

I just don't want to be friends with her, I just don't have anything in common with her. I'm married and have a 2 year old and I'm a book worm and I love music. She says she hates to read and hates learning. I just don't know what to do.

She is very nice and she see's me outside and she asks if she can join me at the playground with my daughter. I say yes, because I have no reason to say no and I can't tell her what to do anyway.

I just feel like a judgemental royal jerk.

I just need an outside opinion because I can't see the forrest for the tree's on this one.

Thanks.
 
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April 22, 2006, 1:58 pm PDT

bad girlfriend or just lost?

I'm in an awesome band.  For a long time now, since august, I noticed that I had fallen in love with my guitarist, who has become my best firend in this band.  I am pretty sure I love him, and I mean really truly love him (i went to his house to drop something off, and decided to wake him up, but before i did, i watched him sleep. At that moment i had one of those falsh foreword mental images, but i was still in the same place, watching him as he slept, except i was pregnant and we were much older) .  My older guy friend decided to take matters into his own hands and speak to him at a party I was at a few days ago , where me and my guitarist talked seriosuly about our feelings toward each other.  He does not feel the same, which I already knew (music is his literal life, and he hasnt matured in a romantic type of way) What i do know is that my guitarist does love me as much as he is capable of (he told me i was on eof the most important people in his life, and musically, we were perfect for each other)  So i accepted that.  I also have a new boyfriend (if i can call him that) who my guitarist doesnt believe is right for me.  Still, im not happy.  Am i really over my guitarist? am i a bad girlfriend, even though its a very new relationship?  

 
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April 23, 2006, 8:42 am PDT

Being a Good Friend

Quote From: purplepain

I live in an apartment complex and a couple weeks ago a girl moved in across the way. We started to chitchat and we've been friendly.

But in those talks I've learned a few things that I just am a little nervous about. Firstly, she's only 18 and I'm 27. She lives with her boyfriend and he isn't very friendly, he's 23.

She has told me things about herself like, she was addicted to meth and has been "clean" for 14 months now. She also has several DUI tickets and she will be taken to jail if she doesn't pay some fines (I don't know all the details on that) also she smokes, a HUGE petpeeve of mine.

I just don't want to be friends with her, I just don't have anything in common with her. I'm married and have a 2 year old and I'm a book worm and I love music. She says she hates to read and hates learning. I just don't know what to do.

She is very nice and she see's me outside and she asks if she can join me at the playground with my daughter. I say yes, because I have no reason to say no and I can't tell her what to do anyway.

I just feel like a judgemental royal jerk.

I just need an outside opinion because I can't see the forrest for the tree's on this one.

Thanks.

Sounds to me like she's just wanting someone to talk to, lonely, and has nothing else to do.  She's just latching onto someone who looks friendly.  If you truly don't want her to hang around you, then maybe you should consider taking your daughter somewhere else to play other than the playground at your apartment complex or wait until your wife can go with you.  I wouldn't worry too much about it, though. 

  

 

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