Topic : Being a Good Friend

Not everyone is selfish, but it takes a friend to be a friend. Perhaps you should take a look at the glass half full?

Hi ShortyLock!   

I am jyakfour. I am 38, Married 12 years as of Aug 14, Happy Anniversary by the way!   

I am from Calgary Alberta Canada. This is so cool because I love snow globes too and I think that Vince Gill has the most gorgeous eyelashes ever and he doesn't look bad in a pair of jeans either lol.  

You have no idea how long I have been waiting to see a message board for someone just like me who likes to talk and joke. I do hope that person is you. I have visited the U.S. but not KY, I am sure it is very pretty there as I have seen pictures, and most of the states I have visited were very nice. Well I hope that we can become friends, it sure would be nice to get to know someone from the U.S.  

Hoping to see a reply  

take care.  

Hello,    

I have an issue that eats away at me daily and I figured I would get soem objective opinions.  I had an best freind for 2o yrs...while now I realize it was mostly toxic. During that time we had many "joint" friends. However my best friend of 20 yrs treated me like dirt, used me and betrayed me.  During the course of that time we met another friend and we all used to hang out all the time. One day my ex best friend decided to not talk to our new friend anymore, for no good reason, and the new friend was fine with it.  Then when I decided that I had to let go of this toxic friendship with my ex best friend, she ran right to our "new" friend whom I had become very close with, as well as some other joint friends. However all of my other friends stood by me and said they had no desire to be freinds with my ex best friend who was toxic. However this one new friend has decided to become friends again with my  ex best friend because she never "really: did anything to hurt her. Now my ex best friend is even planning to go visit her and it makes me sick. How can someone that I value as a close freind want my ex best friend in thier life. I hate to make her choose, but I just cant stomache this relationship. Any advice would be appreciated.    

thanks in advance ;0)    

Are you seriously thinking about giving your newest best friend an ultimatum?? That would be the worse thing you could do. That would be very selfish of you- your new best friend's life shouldn't have to revolve around YOU. If she is truly your new best friend, then with time, she is going to realize that this exbest friend is toxic just like you did...but let me point out to you that it took you 20 years! So it might take her awhile, too. It sounds like the exbest friend is manipulative as well as toxic, how else could she have kept you around for so long? She is probably an expert in manipulation, so she's going to try her bag of tricks on  your new friend. She will learn on her own, you shouldn't ask her to choose because when you do that, you will lose every time. Keep your dignity- by showing this doesn't bother you and being the "bigger person" you will keep a healthier relationship with your new friend. I suspect that you are worried that they will visit and then get to gossiping about you, right? If she is really your best friend, you DO have the right to ask her not to talk about you to the exbest friend, and if she is truly a good friend, she will comply with that. Otherwise, what they do together isn't your business.

hi Tina. I couldn't find your email from your profile. My email is available on my profile, so please email me ok. I did reply earlier but I think I took too long and the site automatically bumped me off. Looking forward to hearing from you!!!! Gotta go for now. Take care your friend from up north. jyakfour/Yvonne

a good friend is somebody who will laugh and cry with you,  

is there for you in good and bad times.  

somebody who you can call in the middle of the night to tell your problem.  

  

hi Tina, I havent received your email yet, but I am checking regularily. It is all good to say my name on the message board. I know it is extremely late but I am home with just my son and we watched movies for most of the evening, mom and son time you know. I didn't even realize the time, holy cow it is 3:15 in the morning! I am usually up this late on Friday evenings anyway, just chillin' to movies and of course typing to you lol. I am really going to enjoy this weekend because it is a long weekend for us in Canada. It is our labor day weekend or also known as the last long weekend of the summer, waaaa. lol. The next long weekend for us is in October 10, Thanksgiving Day, or Columbus day for you. Well I am going to make this short because by rights I should be in bed and there is nothing on t.v. but infomercials, yuk. I hope to get your email soon! Till then, TTFN Yvonne.