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Topic : Being a Good Friend

Number of Replies: 515
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:18:38 am
Author : dataimport
What does it mean to be a good "friend"? Has  someone shown you the true meaning of friendship? Share your story here.

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November 21, 2007, 9:21 pm CST

hey

Quote From: meshagomes

I have a friend that I have known for a long time, we are both married with husbands and children.  We are both the same age married for the same number of years and funny enough married in the same month.  We used to be employed at the same place before but we have now gone are separate  ways.  Over the years we had become extremely good friends and we just could not go a day with seeing each other. Now that we are apart, we see each other occasionally but we do not visit often like we used to.  The problem is that  now she is working in another company and has made friends with another person and It seems to me that I get really angry when  I hear this other person's name being brought up in our conversations and she seems to do the same thing when she hears me talk of another person.  Is this a streak of jealousy just because this other person is taking what once used to be my place ?  or is this something natural?  I sometimes feel that by not seeing her and cutting her off completely would be better, so I would be spared the pain.

Hey You this is Eric and yes from what I've read obviouy that you two have a really good relationship because like you said you all spent a whole lot of time together. I was more intrigued when I was reading the part when you and your friend split up and talked less frequent and other people involved. Im dying to tell you that isnt going anywhere. Im getting this sense you're not jealous but afraid because you think someone is taking your place.  There are times in life when very close friends seperat that doesnt mean she cares for you any less. Just because you and her apart doesnt meant shes not in you heart because she is. i wouldnt cut her off. you two are alike.

 
December 4, 2007, 7:21 pm CST

friendship

I have a best friend at work  and we do everything together and she knows God like me. One time i was really sad and crying and she took my hand and held my hand and we prayed together at work.  one time she threw me a party for my birthday and got me a cake with my name on it and presents.  she and i confide in eachother on a daily basis. shes even called me one time before bed to tell me goodnight and praying 4 you and i love you we havbe gone out to lunch together and talked about god and we are so like sisters i am so happy god brought her into my life
 
December 17, 2007, 8:51 am CST

friendship

I think i'm not lucky in this field (friendship), the problem is that i tried so hard to be a good friend and i'm sure that i am a good friend, i'm always understandins and listenning to other people, i try to give some help if i can, but what do i get in exchange? Nothing just problems

I noticed that, nowadays, there's no friendship, people are just trying to get what they want and a friend find out that she won't get something, she let me down

so little by little, i started to believe that being alone with no friends is much more better that to have friends, and my best friend is me

i hoped so much to have just one friend, to share stories and secrets with

Trust me, you're lucky to have friends, i know that it helps so much, because you can get some support

But, I used to be alone, or if i'm upset, i try to find a stranger friend on the internet

 
December 18, 2007, 11:00 pm CST

finding her father

My dearest friend NEEDS to find her father. Just recently her mother told her his actual name. I really want her to meet him, she's 50 and in poor health. Of course who knows if he's still alive. She tried to do a couple searches for him but turned up nothing. Now she doesn't have access to a computer, she needs help in so many ways. I guess I need to know the best place to start so I can look for her.
 
December 19, 2007, 9:41 am CST

friendship

Quote From: marva5

My dearest friend NEEDS to find her father. Just recently her mother told her his actual name. I really want her to meet him, she's 50 and in poor health. Of course who knows if he's still alive. She tried to do a couple searches for him but turned up nothing. Now she doesn't have access to a computer, she needs help in so many ways. I guess I need to know the best place to start so I can look for her.
You're a good friend, i think that this person is lucky to have you as a friend, i know that you will help her to find him, as you said, maybe he's still alive, just do your best and don't worry because she will know that you did what you could
 
December 24, 2007, 6:40 am CST

What should I do?

Recently my wife left me and took our kids and money. A friend of mine has helped me beyond what anyone would expect.  He helped me find a better job, he has filled my gas tank twice, he bought me $50 on a prepaid cell phone, bought me lunch, bought me household needs, gave me $90 cash, and he still wants to help with pet food, food for me, and wants to give me a cell phone on his family plan because prepaid costs too much.  Let me say I am very grateful to this man.  Without his help I'm not sure I would make it.  My dilemma is this; every time he does something for me, or talks with me on the phone, he invites me to church with him.  At this point, with all he's done for me, I almost feel obligated to go.  But, I'm agnostic. Second,  I was raised a Lutheran and he is Catholic.  I don't share the same beliefs he does.  If I went to his church, I would feel like a hypocrite and be very uncomfortable.  Do you think I should put my own beliefs aside because of what he's done for me?  I've always believed that you stand behind what you believe in.  I don't believe what he does. Should I make a compromise?
 
December 25, 2007, 12:09 am CST

Being a Good Friend

Quote From: coachjoeh

Recently my wife left me and took our kids and money. A friend of mine has helped me beyond what anyone would expect.  He helped me find a better job, he has filled my gas tank twice, he bought me $50 on a prepaid cell phone, bought me lunch, bought me household needs, gave me $90 cash, and he still wants to help with pet food, food for me, and wants to give me a cell phone on his family plan because prepaid costs too much.  Let me say I am very grateful to this man.  Without his help I'm not sure I would make it.  My dilemma is this; every time he does something for me, or talks with me on the phone, he invites me to church with him.  At this point, with all he's done for me, I almost feel obligated to go.  But, I'm agnostic. Second,  I was raised a Lutheran and he is Catholic.  I don't share the same beliefs he does.  If I went to his church, I would feel like a hypocrite and be very uncomfortable.  Do you think I should put my own beliefs aside because of what he's done for me?  I've always believed that you stand behind what you believe in.  I don't believe what he does. Should I make a compromise?

I notice that you didn't talk about your wife!!! and this is the important part. can you tell why she left?

Tell me, will your friend be always there for you? if he died are he going to let you all what he got?

i think that you made a great mistake, you mustn't count on anybody and i don't think that you can't find a job, he can help ok, but not always and as you noticed you feel sometimes like you're obliged to do what he wanted to and all of this because he's helping you

I'm sorry to say that but if someone wants to help he mustn't demand anything in exchange

you believe what you believe and no one has the right to judge it

think again i know that you prefer to be indepedant

 
January 1, 2008, 5:44 am CST

Being a Good Friend

Quote From: emy2101

I notice that you didn't talk about your wife!!! and this is the important part. can you tell why she left?

Tell me, will your friend be always there for you? if he died are he going to let you all what he got?

i think that you made a great mistake, you mustn't count on anybody and i don't think that you can't find a job, he can help ok, but not always and as you noticed you feel sometimes like you're obliged to do what he wanted to and all of this because he's helping you

I'm sorry to say that but if someone wants to help he mustn't demand anything in exchange

you believe what you believe and no one has the right to judge it

think again i know that you prefer to be indepedant

Let me try and reply to your comments in order.  No, I didn't talk about my wife because she has nothing to do with my question; should I go to this guys church because he's helped me, even though I don't share his beliefs.  Why she left?  She will not speak to me when I call, so I can not give an answer for sure.  But she does have a mental disorder, most likely bi-polar.  She is extremely selfish, wants everyone to give her what she wants, and I won't do that.  Will me friend always be there for me?  I think that's the definition of friendship.  You next comment I can't make sense out of. "if he died are he going to let you all what he got?"  Not to be mean, but that makes no sense, so I can't reply to it.

Next, you stated you think I made a mistake.  What do you think that mistake is?  You did not say.  I did not say I counted on anyone.  I simply stated this man has helped me.  I did not say I could not find a job, I said that he helped me find a better one.  Next, he hasn't demanded anything from me.  He has asked several times for me to attend his church, but has never demanded it.  I appreciate any advice, but nothing you said holds any merit.  Again, I don't want to sound mean, but your response seemed judgmental and irrelevant to my question.

 
January 4, 2008, 1:34 am CST

Being a Good Friend

Quote From: coachjoeh

Let me try and reply to your comments in order.  No, I didn't talk about my wife because she has nothing to do with my question; should I go to this guys church because he's helped me, even though I don't share his beliefs.  Why she left?  She will not speak to me when I call, so I can not give an answer for sure.  But she does have a mental disorder, most likely bi-polar.  She is extremely selfish, wants everyone to give her what she wants, and I won't do that.  Will me friend always be there for me?  I think that's the definition of friendship.  You next comment I can't make sense out of. "if he died are he going to let you all what he got?"  Not to be mean, but that makes no sense, so I can't reply to it.

Next, you stated you think I made a mistake.  What do you think that mistake is?  You did not say.  I did not say I counted on anyone.  I simply stated this man has helped me.  I did not say I could not find a job, I said that he helped me find a better one.  Next, he hasn't demanded anything from me.  He has asked several times for me to attend his church, but has never demanded it.  I appreciate any advice, but nothing you said holds any merit.  Again, I don't want to sound mean, but your response seemed judgmental and irrelevant to my question.

I'm sorry cause I noticed that you didn't understand well my reply

I wanted to know at first, what is the problem with your wife, because for me, it's important than asking about going to church with a friend!!!!

I tried to ask you some questions because if you answer, you'll find what you want

I wanted you to understand one thing, he's your friend, he can help you, that's great but you don't have to go to church just because you're thankful,

A friend has to help you without waiting something in exchange

And in my opinion, I'd prefer that you find a job, so you don't have to wait somebody to help you and than, you won't be obliged to go to church or even to ask yourself that question

Whatever, I gave an advice. Take it or leave it

 
January 20, 2008, 6:15 pm CST

the same god.

Quote From: jaimie1974

It is really great that you have a friend you can turn to in your time of need. Do you feel that he is truly a real friend, even if he didnt want you to go to his church? You will probably answer yes, because he has shown you great kindness. I think that you should not compromise your beliefs to go to his church. If you feel awkward; then it is time to stand on your own two feet without his help. What might make you feel better about this friendship is if you can begin to give something back to him besides going to church with him. For example, take him out for lunch or breakfast, (breakfast is the cheapest meal for a person on a tight budget!) or pay him back some of the money he has given you. It isnt because he asked you to, it is out of the kindness of your heart. If those things arent a possibility at this time, then just remember this, he has been kind and generous to you, all you can do is provide the same kindness to him when he might need it sometime in his life. But dont feel obligated to go to his church because of his kindness- religion is a very personal choice.  It is possible that your friend wants to "save" you, but you don't need saving; you've got to show him that. Best wishes to You!

i cant believe that people have trouble assimilating the specifics of all faiths. "God" is in every religion, the only difference between religions is the way they communicate with "the Almighty". whether it be by burning candles and incence, or bowing in a certain direction to pray. of course these types of ceremonies may make you feel uncomfortable , but what would make you not want to be thankful for your friend who has done so much for you that you wouldnt give thanks to that particular face of "God" at least once?

 

i am an atheist, personally, but if devotees of "God" practice the very words that "He" commanded in an orderly fashion then i can appreciate their integrity.

 

i'm just babbling.

 
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