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Topic : Being a Good Friend

Number of Replies: 515
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:18:38 am
Author : dataimport
What does it mean to be a good "friend"? Has  someone shown you the true meaning of friendship? Share your story here.

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February 23, 2008, 10:44 am CST

SIMPLY CAN NOT BELEIVE THIS

Quote From: cajunlizz0315

I have  a friend of  3 years  that I recently  found out  everything this person has  ever told me  are  lies .  and  I am  NOT referring to  LITTLE WHITE   LIES  NO ,  I  an  talking about something  that would of totally devestated   her  whole family ,  had this been  true . 

 

1st.  she told me  ,  HER  DAUGHTER  ,  4 year old  grand daughter , and 2 month old  baby grand daughter   were involved  in a  head on collision  in Mobile  , Alabama ,  which  she  also said  the only survivor was the 4 year old  .   THE  TRUTH  IS  :  the  2  month old  baby  grand daughter is  the only  one that DID NOT  survive  .

 

 2nd,   She told me  she  was fighting her  2nd.  cnacer .  1st. was  ovaian  cancer  and  NOW  Stomach  cancer  .  In conversation  between her  husband and Mine  ,  my husband  was told NONE  of  this  was true .       WHY do  people  do this ?   I  feel like  such  a gullable  idiot  for believing  it all .    YOU can  e-mail  me  @   cajunlizz0315@cox.net  ,  or  post reply in here

  I can not  beleive that I  ONLY  GOT  1   REPLY    after  pouring out  my heart  about  a  friend that  said  she  LOST  A  DAUGHTER  AND A   2  MONTH OLD  GRAND DAUGHTER  in a  WRECK .      "  JUST  1  reply " .  I  really thought I  could  turn  to  these  message boards for  a  little  help  and   support . 
 
March 28, 2008, 4:07 pm CDT

ouch!

Quote From: cajunlizz0315

  I can not  beleive that I  ONLY  GOT  1   REPLY    after  pouring out  my heart  about  a  friend that  said  she  LOST  A  DAUGHTER  AND A   2  MONTH OLD  GRAND DAUGHTER  in a  WRECK .      "  JUST  1  reply " .  I  really thought I  could  turn  to  these  message boards for  a  little  help  and   support . 

I'm sorry that you had to go through this.  I can relate in an abstract way.  When an individual wants so much to have a friend, they do just about anything including believing what the other person has to say.  When we find out the truth, we become badily burned that we're scarred for 'life'.   This is sad that this individual lost two precious lives in a terrible accident.  With grief, it's possible that she fabricated the story to feel good about her loss; why does this happen?  I don't know; this woman is grieving.  You are grieving because you felt lied to; she's grieving because there was two unexpected deaths in the same time.  Be a friend in regards to her grieving; grieve together.  Let her know how you feel as well.  I hope this helps in some way; please keep in touch.  I'd like to know how both of you are doing :)

Frenchy

 
March 28, 2008, 4:12 pm CDT

always looking for friends

Quote From: brokeninside

Hi, I'm brokeninside

I would like to be your friend. Is that okay? I live in Hawaii, and I like to make friends. I have lots of friends here but I could use more. My email is s_kimchoy@yahoo.com. Email me sometime and I'll surely answer. Can't wait to hear from you.

Aloha

brokeninside 

Hello,

I'd like to be your friend as well.  I live in Colorado; Hawaii is so beautiful.  I always like to make friends and you can never have enough friends.  The key is healthy friends; not friends that call you a friend to take advantage of you.  You can email me anytime, my email is ifrench75@hotmail.com.  Give me a email anytime.

Frenchy

 
April 5, 2008, 5:49 am CDT

I HATE ME TOO

Quote From: brokeninside

Why do you feel no body wants you? please explain.

I'm sure there are people that want you. You need to want yourself first. Tell us your story and we will try to help you understand why your feeling this way. Everybody has somebody they want. Don't be to hard on yourself. please give us more info so atleast I can try to help you.

Take care

Aloha

brokeninside

i don't want me too ...

 

well ,, people said that I'm a whore ,, they wants me out of my town ,, some of them will put my bad pictures that the have "without my knowledge" on the walls & the net ,, they always call &  blackmail me ,, even if i change my number they always seems to know it ,, i don't have friends at all since i was born ,, no body to understand me

 

i did hurt my self several times when i was depressed & I'm scared now about what the will do ,, everybody will hate me more if the knew my past ,, & they said that it will be these days ,, so tomorrow i Will not go to work ,, I'll hurt my self with a knife like before but this time ,, i will suicide

 
April 9, 2008, 7:41 pm CDT

strain on a friendship getting blown off

 

 

I watched my friends 2 sons while she went to a taping for Dr Phil Show recently and have been off work due to a surgery and was offered some money to do this for her. But since she has returned the check  for babysitting from Dr Phil Show is still not here. Surprise surprise!! I keep getting told everyone is playing phone tag with each other and  I really needed this money but I just keep getting the run around. My friend and I used to talk and see each other everyday but for the last few weeks she has blown me off... I'm pissed off by this point and don't know which way to turn... any suggestions?

 
April 21, 2008, 10:20 am CDT

My Best Friend

My closest friend is engaged. I want to be the best friend I can for her but can't be happy about this marriage. She and her "fiance" have been dating for 3 years. In this 3 years he has cheated on her at least 5 times. Maybe more.  The last time in 02/2008 when he flew his girlfriend from FL (whom he has been seeing for the past 9 years but told my friend that he had broken up with) to MO where he was temporarily working to celebrate his birthday. My friend found out when she has a "suspicion" and checked his airline account and discovered that he had bought the airline ticket.  This is not the only woman he has cheated on her with.  He asked her to marry him a couple of weeks ago and she said yes!!!!  When she told me I was in shock!!!  She is smarter than this. I can't figure out why she is doing this.  I want so badly to tell her to run for the hills, forget she ever knew him. He has treated her so horribly what makes her think he has suddenly changed....   She is so embarrassed/ashamed/reluctant for anyone to know that she has told no one other than me that they are engaged and wears the engagement ring on her right hand.

The only thing I said to her was "Make absolutely sure this is what you want before you make it final."  I don't want to hurt her by saying what I really feel which isn't very nice. On the other hand if I say nothing and she marries the creep I'll feel equally bad. 

Help! Adivce?

 
May 30, 2008, 9:03 am CDT

Being a Good Friend

Quote From: jaimie1974

If you werent offered money to watch your friends children, would you have watched them anyway? It is understandable that you are pissed because you were offered the money and now you are counting on it, however, what will you do if the money never appears? Will you end the friendship? Your friend might be worried/concerned that you are going to hate her for not coming through with the money. My advice to you is this- if you want to keep this friendship, then you need to call your friend, (if she doesnt answer, then leave this as a message) say to her, I really want to talk to you, I want you to know that if you cant come through with the money, I understand; I know that sometimes these things just happen. Please know that I still love you dearly as a friend, and I really want you to call me back. This way you can at least put an end to this money situation. You will have to accept that you will probably never see the money, but consider it a lesson learned- if you are going to do something for a friend, have it be a favor that they can pay back with favors to you, not money.

i understand what ur saying but this is not the 1st time she has done something along these lines. she lies quite frequently and is a compulsive shopper, to where her household is crumbling around her. her house is so disfunctional that its time for me 2 cut the strings and let her go. i dont have the time or energy 2 put into this friendship of a few years. my sanity is more important. thanx though good luck
 
June 6, 2008, 8:09 pm CDT

Being a Good Friend

Quote From: harmony40

My closest friend is engaged. I want to be the best friend I can for her but can't be happy about this marriage. She and her "fiance" have been dating for 3 years. In this 3 years he has cheated on her at least 5 times. Maybe more.  The last time in 02/2008 when he flew his girlfriend from FL (whom he has been seeing for the past 9 years but told my friend that he had broken up with) to MO where he was temporarily working to celebrate his birthday. My friend found out when she has a "suspicion" and checked his airline account and discovered that he had bought the airline ticket.  This is not the only woman he has cheated on her with.  He asked her to marry him a couple of weeks ago and she said yes!!!!  When she told me I was in shock!!!  She is smarter than this. I can't figure out why she is doing this.  I want so badly to tell her to run for the hills, forget she ever knew him. He has treated her so horribly what makes her think he has suddenly changed....   She is so embarrassed/ashamed/reluctant for anyone to know that she has told no one other than me that they are engaged and wears the engagement ring on her right hand.

The only thing I said to her was "Make absolutely sure this is what you want before you make it final."  I don't want to hurt her by saying what I really feel which isn't very nice. On the other hand if I say nothing and she marries the creep I'll feel equally bad. 

Help! Adivce?

I would hate to be in your shoes but in my opinion I would have to tell her how I felt.  Do it in the nicest way you possibly can.  I am sure she knows how you feel since she won't even wear her engagement ring on the right hand.  I don't understand why she would even think about marrying this guy.  If he has cheated on her that many time and got away with it more than likely he will keep doing it.  Is she depressed or have no self confidence? 
 
June 6, 2008, 8:17 pm CDT

Being a Good Friend

Quote From: monkeynuts1

 

 

I watched my friends 2 sons while she went to a taping for Dr Phil Show recently and have been off work due to a surgery and was offered some money to do this for her. But since she has returned the check  for babysitting from Dr Phil Show is still not here. Surprise surprise!! I keep getting told everyone is playing phone tag with each other and  I really needed this money but I just keep getting the run around. My friend and I used to talk and see each other everyday but for the last few weeks she has blown me off... I'm pissed off by this point and don't know which way to turn... any suggestions?

In my opinion money isn't worth a friendship if you guys are really close.  If she went to the Dr. Phil show then more than likely she is having problems.  She might just be stressed and forgot about it.  If I were you I would squash it.  If you wouldn't of watched her kids without getting paid then I wouldn't watch them anymore and forget about the rest.  A good friend is hard to come by and money isn't worth that important in my eyes.
 
June 6, 2008, 8:44 pm CDT

Being a Good Friend

Quote From: cajunlizz0315

I have  a friend of  3 years  that I recently  found out  everything this person has  ever told me  are  lies .  and  I am  NOT referring to  LITTLE WHITE   LIES  NO ,  I  an  talking about something  that would of totally devestated   her  whole family ,  had this been  true . 

 

1st.  she told me  ,  HER  DAUGHTER  ,  4 year old  grand daughter , and 2 month old  baby grand daughter   were involved  in a  head on collision  in Mobile  , Alabama ,  which  she  also said  the only survivor was the 4 year old  .   THE  TRUTH  IS  :  the  2  month old  baby  grand daughter is  the only  one that DID NOT  survive  .

 

 2nd,   She told me  she  was fighting her  2nd.  cnacer .  1st. was  ovaian  cancer  and  NOW  Stomach  cancer  .  In conversation  between her  husband and Mine  ,  my husband  was told NONE  of  this  was true .       WHY do  people  do this ?   I  feel like  such  a gullable  idiot  for believing  it all .    YOU can  e-mail  me  @   cajunlizz0315@cox.net  ,  or  post reply in here

Well first I do not like liars.  I don't understand how it is so hard to just tell the truth.  I mean I know people don't tell the truth on EVERYTHING but to just make up lies is crazy! 

 

 

The car wreck thing, maybe she is just having a very hard time dealing with this.  I have a aunt that lost her son, his wife, and her grandson that was only 6 months in a car wreck.  She has never been the same.  Sometimes people that go through something so traumatic that they change and nobody will ever understand them.  My aunt will never be the same.  She also lost her dad about two months before this plus a nephew that she was extremely close with about the same time.  It all happened within a 4 month period.  We will never know why people do things that they do when they experience something like this.  Is this woman seeing someone?  Does her husband know what she is doing and how does he deal with this?

 

 

The whole thing with the cancer.  Well maybe she wants something bad to happen to her that will cause her to die.  Some people can't deal with a loss of so extreme.  Maybe she just don't want to live and in her mind that is her way of dealing with things.  I know it sounds crazy but we will never understand.  Even people that have been through the same thing may not understand her because we all deal with grief the same way.  I hope that this will maybe help in some way.  I hope she gets to feeling better and stops with the lies.  Hope all goes well with you and hopefully you can find it in yourself to just listen to her lies and maybe you can help her one day. 

 
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