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Topic : Being a Good Friend

Number of Replies: 515
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:18:38 am
Author : dataimport
What does it mean to be a good "friend"? Has  someone shown you the true meaning of friendship? Share your story here.

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August 28, 2008, 3:03 am CDT

A very simple solution.

Quote From: starrose

I understand everything you say, but there is the question about his wife.  Why should I have to pay for her, just because she comes along, as I am not friends with her.  She and I are cordial to one another but that is it.  For the times that we have gotten together that are not my thank you to him, they have paid for me and then the next time I have paid, but I feel almost like I am pressured into paying for her just because she is there.  Why should I have to do that?  I have always believed in going dutch as "who picks up the tab" can make things uncomfortable and I am going to tell him that I want to do that from now on.  I will do something else for him as a thank you.

From now on, unless its a holiday or birthday gift or anniversary, etc. tell him you really enjoy the time together and want it to continue, but from now on, you will both pay your own checks separately. Whats more important,the food or the friendship? As for his wife, this will be solved because she will have to pay her way, you will pay yours, and he will pay his. If this is a problem, then you are not dealing with healthy friends.

 

I actually do not like when someone pays for my meals. :) It makes me uncomfortable, especially since I am very well capable of paying. There is no reason for someone to foot the bill, especially in this day and age when money is really a tight commodity.

 
August 30, 2008, 10:08 pm CDT

I try to be a good friend, but now I'm falling in love for her.

I Like her, she likes me, but she says she's not ready for something special.?
Well, I have a dilemma, hopefully, you guys and girls can help me out.
I really like this girl that works with me, she has 2 jobs. As soon as she finishes working where I work, she has to go to the other job. I always try to go with her to her other job by mass transit. On Sat. I drop her at her house so she can change and go to her other job (She works every single day, she has a lot of debts)

I've been doing this for about a month and a half already.
I have already told her that I like her a lot, that she was someone really special and really different, she's 20 btw, I'm 24, she told me she liked me too, but that she couldn't date me because it would distract her from her other job (She has 3 years with her other job, and about a year where I work). She told me that if we were to go out and date, then she would probably have the urge to call out at work just to go out with me and that her priorities would get sidestepped.

Now about last week I got a little wasted at a bar with a couple of friends and I send her a txt saying that I really loved her and I told her that while it was nearly impossible to love someone when they haven"t even had a chance to go out even once, I told her I loved her anyway on that txt (Again I was a bit wasted). She txts me back and says that while she has no doubt that this relationship will be something really special, she wasn't ready for it. I asked her if she liked me or not, she said, she likes me.
I then proceed to ask her that if I was a boyfriend material for her and she said, ' if that's what I was looking for, yes '

I told her that while she's not ready for a relationship, I was going to be there for her supporting her in any way I can.
She told me that she wouldn't want me to wait around for her.

What should I do, I will give her the space she needs and the time she needs. She works too hard and it pains me to see her like that.

I really, really like her a lot and I think that she's the one.

Btw, I think that this case is unique, don't you ?
A girl with 2 jobs, who has no time to go out :-(

Any advice will really be appreciate it.
 
September 11, 2008, 1:14 pm CDT

Being a Good Friend

Quote From: liquidgraffiti

I Like her, she likes me, but she says she's not ready for something special.?
Well, I have a dilemma, hopefully, you guys and girls can help me out.
I really like this girl that works with me, she has 2 jobs. As soon as she finishes working where I work, she has to go to the other job. I always try to go with her to her other job by mass transit. On Sat. I drop her at her house so she can change and go to her other job (She works every single day, she has a lot of debts)

I've been doing this for about a month and a half already.
I have already told her that I like her a lot, that she was someone really special and really different, she's 20 btw, I'm 24, she told me she liked me too, but that she couldn't date me because it would distract her from her other job (She has 3 years with her other job, and about a year where I work). She told me that if we were to go out and date, then she would probably have the urge to call out at work just to go out with me and that her priorities would get sidestepped.

Now about last week I got a little wasted at a bar with a couple of friends and I send her a txt saying that I really loved her and I told her that while it was nearly impossible to love someone when they haven"t even had a chance to go out even once, I told her I loved her anyway on that txt (Again I was a bit wasted). She txts me back and says that while she has no doubt that this relationship will be something really special, she wasn't ready for it. I asked her if she liked me or not, she said, she likes me.
I then proceed to ask her that if I was a boyfriend material for her and she said, ' if that's what I was looking for, yes '

I told her that while she's not ready for a relationship, I was going to be there for her supporting her in any way I can.
She told me that she wouldn't want me to wait around for her.

What should I do, I will give her the space she needs and the time she needs. She works too hard and it pains me to see her like that.

I really, really like her a lot and I think that she's the one.

Btw, I think that this case is unique, don't you ?
A girl with 2 jobs, who has no time to go out :-(

Any advice will really be appreciate it.
i just got done reading what you wrote the best advive I can give is to just be there,If she like's you and if things are ment to be it will happen,just give her some time.
 
October 27, 2008, 12:41 pm CDT

RE:

Quote From: liquidgraffiti

I Like her, she likes me, but she says she's not ready for something special.?
Well, I have a dilemma, hopefully, you guys and girls can help me out.
I really like this girl that works with me, she has 2 jobs. As soon as she finishes working where I work, she has to go to the other job. I always try to go with her to her other job by mass transit. On Sat. I drop her at her house so she can change and go to her other job (She works every single day, she has a lot of debts)

I've been doing this for about a month and a half already.
I have already told her that I like her a lot, that she was someone really special and really different, she's 20 btw, I'm 24, she told me she liked me too, but that she couldn't date me because it would distract her from her other job (She has 3 years with her other job, and about a year where I work). She told me that if we were to go out and date, then she would probably have the urge to call out at work just to go out with me and that her priorities would get sidestepped.

Now about last week I got a little wasted at a bar with a couple of friends and I send her a txt saying that I really loved her and I told her that while it was nearly impossible to love someone when they haven"t even had a chance to go out even once, I told her I loved her anyway on that txt (Again I was a bit wasted). She txts me back and says that while she has no doubt that this relationship will be something really special, she wasn't ready for it. I asked her if she liked me or not, she said, she likes me.
I then proceed to ask her that if I was a boyfriend material for her and she said, ' if that's what I was looking for, yes '

I told her that while she's not ready for a relationship, I was going to be there for her supporting her in any way I can.
She told me that she wouldn't want me to wait around for her.

What should I do, I will give her the space she needs and the time she needs. She works too hard and it pains me to see her like that.

I really, really like her a lot and I think that she's the one.

Btw, I think that this case is unique, don't you ?
A girl with 2 jobs, who has no time to go out :-(

Any advice will really be appreciate it.
I agree with the post before this: just be there for her as a good friend. Help her out if she needs it. Don't do anything too forward; you might end up pushing her away. Good things come to those who wait, so, maybe if you wait a while and develop your relationship as a friendship, it'll be even better down the road.
 
October 27, 2008, 12:48 pm CDT

RE:

Quote From: emy2101

Hello there, i always believe that friendship is something very important in our lives

we can't live alone, they have to help us in our problems or issues, they share with us the good and the bad, but it depends on how you choose your friends

actually, i didn't have a lot of friends in my life, a lot of them betrayed me and it was just about boys!!!!!

so after that, i prefered to have friends boys and not girls, but it's diferent because you can't tell anything to your friend, sometimes, it has to be a girl

once i had a friend, and she was so shy, and i was really happy with her, we used to go to the same school, we talked about everything and nothing, she understood me, and i felt that i don't need anyone else because no one can replace her but things always change, our ways separated and i always think that i wil never find someone like her

Be a good friend, so people will always have a good memory about you 

Yes, friendship is a very wonderful gift. We should always cherish those that are close to us. :D

I think it's a good idea to have a balance of guy and girl friends. Personally, I find that my guy friends are very solid presences; they're there when I need them, they're brutally honest and can asses situations logically with common sense (well, most of the time ;)). My girl friends are just as important to me, too. They're like a soft cushion to land on when things get bad. They're compassionate and emotional, and "fluffy".

So, I have a great balance of bluntness and softness, logic and empathy. I love them all very much. :D

 
January 10, 2009, 10:02 am CST

hang in there, buddy.

Quote From: liquidgraffiti

I Like her, she likes me, but she says she's not ready for something special.?
Well, I have a dilemma, hopefully, you guys and girls can help me out.
I really like this girl that works with me, she has 2 jobs. As soon as she finishes working where I work, she has to go to the other job. I always try to go with her to her other job by mass transit. On Sat. I drop her at her house so she can change and go to her other job (She works every single day, she has a lot of debts)

I've been doing this for about a month and a half already.
I have already told her that I like her a lot, that she was someone really special and really different, she's 20 btw, I'm 24, she told me she liked me too, but that she couldn't date me because it would distract her from her other job (She has 3 years with her other job, and about a year where I work). She told me that if we were to go out and date, then she would probably have the urge to call out at work just to go out with me and that her priorities would get sidestepped.

Now about last week I got a little wasted at a bar with a couple of friends and I send her a txt saying that I really loved her and I told her that while it was nearly impossible to love someone when they haven"t even had a chance to go out even once, I told her I loved her anyway on that txt (Again I was a bit wasted). She txts me back and says that while she has no doubt that this relationship will be something really special, she wasn't ready for it. I asked her if she liked me or not, she said, she likes me.
I then proceed to ask her that if I was a boyfriend material for her and she said, ' if that's what I was looking for, yes '

I told her that while she's not ready for a relationship, I was going to be there for her supporting her in any way I can.
She told me that she wouldn't want me to wait around for her.

What should I do, I will give her the space she needs and the time she needs. She works too hard and it pains me to see her like that.

I really, really like her a lot and I think that she's the one.

Btw, I think that this case is unique, don't you ?
A girl with 2 jobs, who has no time to go out :-(

Any advice will really be appreciate it.
i'm not very familiar with these kinds of sutuations, but i'll try to give you a somewhat understandable paragraph as to why you should keep holding on. if you truly, truly, believe that she's the one then why would you let her slip away? there's no need to go to durastic measures to try to get her to see that you'll be for her either. just simply talk to her as often as you can, and let her know that you're going to be there for her as long as you possibly can bear it, which IF she is the one, should be forever. girls love it when a man can prove themselves right. now she tells you that if she was looking for a relationship you would be boyfriend material, do you catch the hint. she has feelings for you, it's just she doesn't want to think about being with you because she's focused on your job. i would say that you're in, just not fully yet. so all i can say is, i agree with those who have already replied. the most you can do right now is be her support, don't try squeezing yourself into an area you're not wanted at right now.
 
January 29, 2009, 10:38 pm CST

Being a Good Friend

Quote From: liquidgraffiti

I Like her, she likes me, but she says she's not ready for something special.?
Well, I have a dilemma, hopefully, you guys and girls can help me out.
I really like this girl that works with me, she has 2 jobs. As soon as she finishes working where I work, she has to go to the other job. I always try to go with her to her other job by mass transit. On Sat. I drop her at her house so she can change and go to her other job (She works every single day, she has a lot of debts)

I've been doing this for about a month and a half already.
I have already told her that I like her a lot, that she was someone really special and really different, she's 20 btw, I'm 24, she told me she liked me too, but that she couldn't date me because it would distract her from her other job (She has 3 years with her other job, and about a year where I work). She told me that if we were to go out and date, then she would probably have the urge to call out at work just to go out with me and that her priorities would get sidestepped.

Now about last week I got a little wasted at a bar with a couple of friends and I send her a txt saying that I really loved her and I told her that while it was nearly impossible to love someone when they haven"t even had a chance to go out even once, I told her I loved her anyway on that txt (Again I was a bit wasted). She txts me back and says that while she has no doubt that this relationship will be something really special, she wasn't ready for it. I asked her if she liked me or not, she said, she likes me.
I then proceed to ask her that if I was a boyfriend material for her and she said, ' if that's what I was looking for, yes '

I told her that while she's not ready for a relationship, I was going to be there for her supporting her in any way I can.
She told me that she wouldn't want me to wait around for her.

What should I do, I will give her the space she needs and the time she needs. She works too hard and it pains me to see her like that.

I really, really like her a lot and I think that she's the one.

Btw, I think that this case is unique, don't you ?
A girl with 2 jobs, who has no time to go out :-(

Any advice will really be appreciate it.

this reminds me of my story with some exceptions.I Am the girl And whAt wAs holding me bAck wAsnt the 2 jobs but issues in my heAd.AnywAy i will tell u whAt he did And where it is getting to.

First he told me thAt he cAn stAy my friend And thAt he would wAite for me{inside i wAs so hAppy to heAr thAt}.After A while he Asked me AgAin to choose between if i wAnt him As A friend or else.one time i Answered thAt i do wAnt him AS my love[ but still icouldnt sAy thAt i love him even though i think idid] AnywAy the buttom line is thAt he did wAite but not enough i guess!

my Advice to u is thAt if you reAlly reAlly love her And u know thAt she does,too,then u should wAite for her forever And support her when she needs it And just be  A reAlly good friend.try not to open thAt subject AgAin but still show her thAt u still love her by Actions not words[words cAn mAke her feel pushed into this relAtionship And trust me if she stArted it with u like this it wont lAst]

thAts All for the night...

 
January 30, 2009, 7:50 pm CST

She said she only wants a friend not marriage

Quote From: liquidgraffiti

I Like her, she likes me, but she says she's not ready for something special.?
Well, I have a dilemma, hopefully, you guys and girls can help me out.
I really like this girl that works with me, she has 2 jobs. As soon as she finishes working where I work, she has to go to the other job. I always try to go with her to her other job by mass transit. On Sat. I drop her at her house so she can change and go to her other job (She works every single day, she has a lot of debts)

I've been doing this for about a month and a half already.
I have already told her that I like her a lot, that she was someone really special and really different, she's 20 btw, I'm 24, she told me she liked me too, but that she couldn't date me because it would distract her from her other job (She has 3 years with her other job, and about a year where I work). She told me that if we were to go out and date, then she would probably have the urge to call out at work just to go out with me and that her priorities would get sidestepped.

Now about last week I got a little wasted at a bar with a couple of friends and I send her a txt saying that I really loved her and I told her that while it was nearly impossible to love someone when they haven"t even had a chance to go out even once, I told her I loved her anyway on that txt (Again I was a bit wasted). She txts me back and says that while she has no doubt that this relationship will be something really special, she wasn't ready for it. I asked her if she liked me or not, she said, she likes me.
I then proceed to ask her that if I was a boyfriend material for her and she said, ' if that's what I was looking for, yes '

I told her that while she's not ready for a relationship, I was going to be there for her supporting her in any way I can.
She told me that she wouldn't want me to wait around for her.

What should I do, I will give her the space she needs and the time she needs. She works too hard and it pains me to see her like that.

I really, really like her a lot and I think that she's the one.

Btw, I think that this case is unique, don't you ?
A girl with 2 jobs, who has no time to go out :-(

Any advice will really be appreciate it.

 I hear ya. The nice lady I had been seeing for 5 months says she wants to get it straight. She is only looking for a friend and doesn't want to get married. She said she doesn't want to go through the same thing ever again like she did with her first husband.  I have asked her if I had been treating her, or acting anything like her ex and she said no, but she didn't want to take that chance ever again.

 I have never been married at the age of 51 because I am looking for the one ment for me. Ths woman is the best I found yet and she doesn't want to tie the knot, question is should I just be a friend (and both of us live in different houses) or should I keep looking (hoping)?

 
March 28, 2009, 6:01 pm CDT

Not sure how to deal with this

 A girl friend whom I thought was a good friend or best friend I would call it is just driving me up the creek.  She is supposedly my best friend however we have moved away from each other in the last three years and rarely see each other.   We've know each other for about 10 yrs now. She works close to where I work, but never bothers to phone or e-mail.  Unless or until I phone or e-mail her she does not bother, however as soon as I go overseas and bring her something she is on the phone to me and e-mails me constantly till I can see her, after that she goes quiet again for the next few months.  As a person I like her very much even though she has a real nasty side to her, and everytime I keep saying to myself that this would be the last time I speak to her, I just cannot seem to take a stand against her.  I have even stopped talking to other people just because she does not like them.  COULD YOU PLEASE GIVE ME YOUr  INPUT ON THIS SITUATION, AS SHE TENDS TO HAVE A HOLD ON ME AND I JUST CANNOT SEEM TO LET GO OR SHAKE HER OFF.  PLEASE ADVISE.
 
April 1, 2009, 3:39 am CDT

Take what you can get.

Quote From: countryboy730d

 I hear ya. The nice lady I had been seeing for 5 months says she wants to get it straight. She is only looking for a friend and doesn't want to get married. She said she doesn't want to go through the same thing ever again like she did with her first husband.  I have asked her if I had been treating her, or acting anything like her ex and she said no, but she didn't want to take that chance ever again.

 I have never been married at the age of 51 because I am looking for the one ment for me. Ths woman is the best I found yet and she doesn't want to tie the knot, question is should I just be a friend (and both of us live in different houses) or should I keep looking (hoping)?

Be happy. :)  Why do you want to get married at your age anyway? Its a piece of paper that complicates things.  I do understand why you would want to live together though, that doesn't require marriage, unless she owns her home and you own yours, renting a  place together could be a good chance for her to see you in a different light. I would give her one more year, at your age, which is my age, what do you have to lose but another year????? lol
 
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