Topic : Being a Good Friend

I have a friend who I have been best friends with since junior year in high school. He has always been a good friend to me; he knew when something was bothering me, he was always opened for me to talk to him about stuff going on. He even told me a few times to just vent and say whatever was on my mind to him. He and I always had the same views and opinions when it comes to drinking. He didn't drink, I didn't drink. Once, he even told me that he thought drinking was stupid and a sin. I was happy to hear that because I was one who did not drink and will not drink. That all changed though, one summer night.

Another friend of mine on a social network told me that my best friend drinks now, I recall those despicable three words, "he drinks now" I panicked. I was sick, stressing, having severe panic attacks. After all of those times that my best friend told me in high school that he wouldn't drink. This was late at night; I had to get more confirmation on this. I called another friend, and he unfortunately confirmed this news I never, EVER wanted to hear in my entire life. I trusted this friend of mine; all that was going through my mind was that he said to me that he would NEVER drink; he assured me of that. 

‘Till this day, he claims that he had “no intensions” to drink back then. He started to drink a little after his girlfriend whom he loved a whole lot broke up with him. I know that is why he started to drink, as if any guy would do! He basically said, “F this” and started to drink. The weekend that I had found out about this, I texted him about it and he said that he would never do it again? Wow, what a relief—right? Oh, but what I heard the next time we hung out?! The person who texted me back saying that he would never drink again? That would be his ex-girlfriend who broke up with him, writing on the behalf of him. Was it true? No; he drank the next time we hung out and I was extremely worried about him. It was the very first time I had ever seen him drink; he was drunk. 

He and I have had numerous amounts of fights about this. He does “not regret” his actions that he has taken. So he is in college now; I worry about him with drinking and sex. Though he claims he won’t have sex. I worry about him as a best friend and it is really difficult for me to believe all of this because he was never like this back in high school. I’m not good with change and this is one of them I have been having issues with for a very long time.  

Every time he goes out to have a good time, he HAS to get drunk.  I don’t know how to deal with this worrying I have. It isn’t right; and no, I’m not drawn to him or anything like that. He’s been my friend for quite a while, I’ve never thought he’d be this way now. It’s like he’s a new person and that I don’t even know him. He is also attending a birthday party at a local river and its going to get crazy. I’m not going, plus I live in a different state now. But I’m worried…I’m not sure how to deal with this. He’s said all he can and I’ve said all I can. I get really ticked to hear the stuff that he does, too. 

     What should I have done? A few weeks back I sent an encouraging email to my male friend to his business email acct. (Family members loosing jobs and the economy has been terrible on his business too. We have been friends for about 5 yrs) I recieved an email from him. This email seemed really an odd coming from him. He has never using headers with bcc or blind carbon copies. The email came back through his personal email which he hasn't used for about 4 months. I sent a reply email back to him to get a response. While I was waiting on a reply, I started to debate with myself if I should contact via cell phone text or just a phone call. I wasn't looking for an explanation just a simple yes or no. If no, forward this information, so he could resolve it an adult manner.

   Two weeks went by nothing, so I decided to text him about the email. I stated in the text if he is aware of this, then please disregard my text. I apologize for any hardship I created for him. Finally we talked on the phone. He didn't send that email. I shared with him that some one has access to all his email accts. Who ever it is just won't stop at his emails. They will be interested in any or all his business too. 

   This texting between him and I went on about a week. All I wanted was for him to sit down long enough for us to resolve the situation. I even sent him a test email and he didn't get those either.

   So finally I had enough of him lingering, so on a saturday, I texted him to let him that any one who breaks into any email accts or any other people accts without permission is now an Federal offense. The text I sent after that was the person, email address that was sent to me by the person who broke into his email acct.

   My intentions all never to hurt any of my friends. I don't push buttons to get them mad. I don't like to see my friends be taking advantage of.

    If I stood by and said nothing, later down that line, He would have been blindsided by this person emotionally or otherways. For anyone who snoops, or breaks into other people emails accts, they don't have respect for other peoples boundries. Where's the trust?

    He said my last 2 texts created problems for him. I've let some time go by and tried to talk to him. I'm getting the feeling he's mad at me. Why? If I didn't say anything, I felt I would be as guilty as the one who broke into his email accts. It was never my intention to create any problems in any relationship that he is in. 

   I think what I did was right.