Topic : Being a Good Friend

Being a good friend is to accept someone unconditionally.

hi

 why is it that its hard to find a girl friend to love and be friends with and be happy ?

 im not good looking -disabe -can't see  or hear to good to drive or work . beleave me you would not want to be in my shoes .seem the ladys i meet only what one thing  money and sex and good looking man . i don't drink or smoke or take bad drugs .

 i dont even think dr.phil  ever talk about people like me who have a hard time finding the right one .

 in some ways i think he puts us down .sure there are man who are lazy and etc .but im not them .

   what i see in a person is what they are on the in side .and not what they look like on

the out side . same that the way life is here . but i keep going .becouse i know sooner or later there some one out there for me

I have been best friends with this guy for atleast 4 years I beleive.  When we first became friends we did everything together!!!  Well, both of us ended up going to a organization together to be a missionary.  When we were there people always gave us a hard time saying we were dating and didn't know it (which by the way i have never dated).  That put such a stress in our relationship, we both knew it was true but the others wouldn't leave us alone (even though some said they weren't serious).  Well, I went there with a huge wall and so many hidden things and well he went there with his own issues including his immaturity (which drove me crazy sometimes depending what it was).  So with all they were doing and the things that we as individuals had to face not realizing it we took it out on each other.  If we were upset with one person we reacted instead to our best friend (Me to him and him to me).  Finally, after a while of it all one day we just stopped talking.  We didn't discuss it say why or anything we just knew not to talk to the other.  I mean there was no fight of anykind just one day we didn't really talk anymore.  What made this even harder was that people somehow didn't realize we weren't talking anymore and still gave us a hard time.  It was like we were growing apart yet we weren't.  

We were going to India and on the way got stuck beside each other the whole way, by now we had been talking but well it wasn't always so nice (not that bad but yeah).  So, we started getting along a lot better as the plain ride went on but not long after being in India there we were not saying much again.  I really didn't know what to do so well once again we both kept our mouths shut until one day we were asked to go do something together.  We talked a little about it that day and finally started talking again.  Things weren't quite the same as they had once been but they were better then they had been.  So we finished the outreach still with something there that didn't seem quite right.  We got back to the original base and said some casual things but didn't really hang around each other the way we once had.  We finished this whole thing and went home, he stayed home but after a while i went back to this organization.  During the time that both of us were back home we never really talked for the longest time.

Anyway to make a long story short there was a time we started to do things a lot again but then it kind of died down just casue sometimes life works that way.  It has been 3 years and never until last night did we know the other was wondering what happened and did the other person feel the same way as we did.  It was so strange i mean if we would have really really talked about ti then a lot would have been saved but instead we got to see what a real friendship was all about. I mean even when we didn't talk we introduced or refered to the other as out friend!!!!

well i thought that was an incouraging story about friendships and how they can really survive anything and you all are only hearing a part of it!!!

thanks

   hm sounds like me the other way around looks i dont have / better then me / im single person /

dont drive /disable / cant work  but you know what in spit of all my short coming i stell going being shy itis hard to meet ladys  and they do have a hard time understanding mye when i talk which is one of my troubles .i do have a positive out look in life .i treat ladys with  respect .She dont  have to hasve the looks  to get a man .thats not what i see in a person .

your one lucky lady .

havwe a great day ok

fred

Hi Fred,

Like you, i'm disabled too. I have to use a wheelchair all the time. Here in the Netherlands, it's hard to find a girlfriend. Women are often very demanding here. But it's true: you have to look how you present yourself. I have to work on that too. You are right that Dr. Phil did not have a show on that subject yet, but I stronly disagree that he would not see us as equal. (That's what I understand you're saying,  from one of your prevous messages). I am very certain that Dr. Phil see's us as equal people. Maybe we should ask for him to talk about this subject. I think i'm going to leave a message here, to give them a good idea for a show.

Regards, Jo