Message Boards

Topic : Being a Good Friend

Number of Replies: 515
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:18:38 am
Author : dataimport
What does it mean to be a good "friend"? Has  someone shown you the true meaning of friendship? Share your story here.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

July 26, 2005, 7:17 pm CDT

I guess I don't understand

 

Hi,

I haven't been on the boards in many months but have an issue I am dealing with that I would greatly appreciate comments, ideas, suggestions. A coworker and I went to lunch one day, she told me I was her best friend. I was honored but surprised because this person can have any friend she wants and does have many. Anyway, I have been a great friend to her---the thing is, I am always the one who asks to do things, or calls, or goes to see her or emails. My question, I thought being best friends was doing things with eachother to get to know one another? Am I wrong?
We don't work together anymore but live close by eachother. She seems intimidated by her husband if I am at her house and he comes home--she has to go. I don't understand that. He and I seem to get along okay. My husband is more than happy to let me do things with my friends. I dearly love this person as a friend and want our friendship to grow, get to know her better, and establish memories together. We asked her and her husband to dinner one night and she declined. Don't even remember the reason. That really hurt my feelings. They have been married for 8 or 9 years, his second and her third. I don't dare ask her to do anything if he is home. So, is it me? Am I hoping for to much? Could you guys please shed your thoughts on this? Thanks!

 
July 27, 2005, 8:12 am CDT

Ask her.

Quote From: loylfrnd

Hi,

Ihaven't been on the boards in many months but have an issue I am dealing with that I would greatly appreciate comments, ideas, suggestions.A coworker and I went to lunch one day, she told me I was her best friend. I was honored but surprised because this person can have any friend she wants and does have many. Anyway, I have been a great friend to her---the thing is, I am always the one who asks to do things, or calls, or goes to see her or emails. My question, I thought being best friends was doing things with eachother to get to know one another? Am I wrong?
We don't work together anymore but live close by eachother. She seems intimidated by her husband if I am at her house and he comes home--she has to go. I don't understand that.He and I seem to get along okay.My husband is more than happy to let me do things with my friends. I dearly love this person as a friend and want our friendship to grow, get to know her better, and establish memories together. We asked her and her husband to dinner one night and she declined. Don't even remember the reason. That really hurt my feelings. They have been married for 8 or 9 years, his second and her third. I don't dare ask her to do anything if he is home.So, is it me? Am I hoping for to much? Could you guys please shed your thoughts on this? Thanks!

 If she considers you her best friend, I don't think she would mind if you asked her what gives. We can all speculate till the cows come home, but you are the one who knows her. I've learned from sad experience that assuming what other's thoughts and motivations are can get you nowhere, or at worst, in trouble. Communication is the key here.
 
July 28, 2005, 3:24 am CDT

being a good friend

to be a good friend, u got to accept ur friend unconditionally, have patientce and love the  person from ur heart. then only u can be a good friend.

 
July 28, 2005, 3:24 am CDT

being a good friend

to be a good friend, u got to accept ur friend unconditionally, have patientce and love the  person from ur heart. then only u can be a good friend.

 
August 15, 2005, 2:40 pm CDT

Looking For Friends Too Talk Too

Hi All I'm ShortyLock I'm 33 Married for 7 years as of Aug 22, I'm looking for friends who just want too talk and joke around with. I live in KY. I am a HUGE fan of Vince Gill and I hope too meet him one day. I love too sing. I collect Train Sets Water Globes Pepis Glasses. I love to write short stories. I am currently working on opening a Cafe here. That is my main goal to fine some true blue friend or friends. I hope too hear from you soon. Bye for now Shortylock,.....
 
August 16, 2005, 11:59 am CDT

A Good Friend Is...

Someone who realizes that they are not perfect and doesn't expect you to be
 

  

  

Honest, loyal, warm, and kind 

  

  

Can disagree with you but love you at the same time 

  

  

Will stand up for you  

  

  

Is willing to cry in front of you 

  

  

Is willing to let you see the worst and best parts of themselves periodically 

  

  

Never says never 

  

  

Encourages you to better yourself without pushing too hard 

  

  

Gives you a good smack if you are being a jerk, too hard on yourself, or unkind 

  

  

Is willing to be tough with you and tell it like it is when you need it (and sometimes don't want it) 

  

Supports your moments of temporary insanity 

  

You can be insane with him/her 

  

You can laugh so hard we them that meat (yes meat!) comes flying out of your nose 

  

You have pet names with each other  

  

You can be angry and still be friends a day later 

  

You like to play jokes on one another 

  

You can respect each other's limitations and differences 

  

You don't really have to say much for them to know everything you are thinking/feeling 

  

You can get lost with them on a road trip and neither of you seem to care 

  

You can deal with the fact that their family situation is messed up 

  

You help them through messed up family situations 

  

You can eat 11 euro/dollars worth of gummy candy between the two of you and not feel an ounce of guilt 

  

You can dance like an idiot in front of them 

  

They know your favorite ice cream flavor 

  

They'll binge on ice cream with you after your boyfriend dumps you 

  

They'll offer to put out a hit on the boyfriend that dumps you (haha not for real, just kidding!) 

  

They'll join you on fashion hits and misses 

  

They'll eat whatever you cook them no matter how bad you burn it 

  

They love the lop-sided cakes you make for them every year on their birthdays 

  

They don't try to buy your friendships with traditional gifts, but tailor-made ones that they know will please and surprise you 

  

  

They let you rant and listen to every word (no matter how many times you've repeated yourself) 

  

You can eat a bowl of chocolate-chip cookie dough with them and share the sickness afterward (oh but its worth it!) 

  

They bring chicken soup over when you are sick 

  

They bring you chocolate when you need it (which is most of the time hehe) 

  

They are willing to listen to you list all of their bad qualities when you are angry with them (even when they know that you love them anyway) 

  

They'll list all of your bad habits and qualities in return without ever forgetting what makes them love you.  

  

They are forever... 

  

  

 
August 16, 2005, 12:15 pm CDT

My Best Friend: How We Met 14 Years Ago

I met my Best Friend of 14 years on the first day of second grade. She was the shy blonde, skinny girl sitting at the end of the table. Everyone else was talking and laughing-- I could see that she was feeling a little lonely and scared-- perhaps she was new? 

  

Well I decided that she and I were going to be friends right there (haha I hadn't exactly asked her opinion on the idea yet) so I walked up to her and told her, "hi my name is Allie do you want to be my new friend?" To this day I can't believe I was so direct, but I was 8 years old! I think I still subscribe to that policy... 

  

Well we started talking, played at recess and had sleep overs...even when my parents divorced and I moved over 300 miles away we kept in contact with letters and pictures. She invited me to her 16th birthday party and we sent each other invitations to our graduation ceremonies. 

  

Since we've been in college Alishah and I have seen more of each other. Every year we get together around my birthday to go to The Texas Renaissance Festival and catch up. She has since moved across the country and we don't get to talk often.  

  

However, when I was in France we still kept in contact via email, IM and now we are emailing and have our own blog together: http://friendshippixie.blogspot.com/ so that we can post and have fun online.  

  

I love my Alishah and thank God every day that we were able to find each other! 

 
August 20, 2005, 11:12 am CDT

Being a Good Friend

Most people lack the capacity to be a good friend because all they care about is themselves.  Most people only care about something when it directly effects them.  The human race is a vile one.
 
August 22, 2005, 1:13 pm CDT

Faith In Humanity?

Quote From: thesmitty

Most people lack the capacity to be a good friend because all they care about is themselves.  Most people only care about something when it directly effects them.  The human race is a vile one.
Not everyone is selfish, but it takes a friend to be a friend. Perhaps you should take a look at the glass half full?
 
August 27, 2005, 4:43 pm CDT

looking for a friend too

Quote From: shortylock

Hi All I'm ShortyLock I'm 33 Married for 7 years as of Aug 22, I'm looking for friends who just want too talk and joke around with. I live in KY. I am a HUGE fan of Vince Gill and I hope too meet him one day. I love too sing. I collect Train Sets Water Globes Pepis Glasses. I love to write short stories. I am currently working on opening a Cafe here. That is my main goal to fine some true blue friend or friends. I hope too hear from you soon. Bye for now Shortylock,.....

Hi ShortyLock!   

I am jyakfour. I am 38, Married 12 years as of Aug 14, Happy Anniversary by the way!   

I am from Calgary Alberta Canada. This is so cool because I love snow globes too and I think that Vince Gill has the most gorgeous eyelashes ever and he doesn't look bad in a pair of jeans either lol.  

You have no idea how long I have been waiting to see a message board for someone just like me who likes to talk and joke. I do hope that person is you. I have visited the U.S. but not KY, I am sure it is very pretty there as I have seen pictures, and most of the states I have visited were very nice. Well I hope that we can become friends, it sure would be nice to get to know someone from the U.S.  

Hoping to see a reply  

take care.  

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Next | Last