Topic : Betrayal

I have lost a person who I thought was my best friend.  We had a 25 year long relationship, that has fallen apart in the past 5 years.  We had worked together for 10 years and the friendship continued after we chose different career paths.  When my husband and I bought a retirement home at the beach, her first reaction was "everything will be different now".  But I didn't see how, we would only be about 40 miles apart on the same coast.  But she was right.  At first we continued in our old patterns, New Years Eve at their place, and opening day of flounder fishing too,  Then we want to host a New Years Eve Party in our new home, they RSVP, very quickly NO, and said it was thier holiday and they wanted to keep it, but we where the only guest.  So there was some had feelings at first but I thought it had past.  We go together a few more times but only at their invitation, and at their home.  Every invitation we extended was refused.  Soon we stop going to see them, but we kept in touch, most emails and some phone calls. 

Now we hear nothing.  Nothing for 5 months.  I can only think I am not as important to her as she was to me. 

I'm confused because I can't understand how you can be friends with someone for all these years..then walk out of their life.

I think the most painfull thing is the crazy accusations made against me, I mean come on, you bought a van because you HAD to transport me and my family around? I have my own car, as do members of my family!

Then not to want to talk about this problem..doesn't anyone feel that a 30 year relationship should be open to trying to solve this?

My daughters best friends mother and I have been friends as long as my daughter and her friend have been for 6 years. We have had an understanding that if we know something about our daughters who are now 15, that may get them into trouble etc to let the other one know, and we promised not to disclose whom we heard it from.

My daughter confided in me about her friend taking up drinking and sneeking out at night with another girl whom has a bad reputation. We were planning on taking this girl with us on a trip to Hawaii and my daughter wasnt sure about her friends new choices and bad influence on her.

I confided in the mother and she had confronted her daughter about the issue which led her daughter to become very angry towards my daughter. This girl decided to not go to hawaii with us which was a big relief as this girls anger issues became very disrespectful towards both of us.  My daughters friend has since become very cruel towards my daughter along with slandering her and posting negative remarks about her online.

I feel betrayed as this wasnt handled carefully and now the mother refuses to speak to me now that we are back from our vacation and the girls are back in school.  This has developed into an ongoing daily event of my daughter being shunned from her peers at school.

I recieved a call from another parent advising me to stay out of the kids business and let  them handle it on their own. I should of not of interferred. Going 5000 miles from home with another teen whom I felt had changed in many ways was too risky! I need this to end. I feel badly for my daughter who has to endure this and feel very betrayed. I do not like the bad information that is being distributed about myself and my daughter to cover up for their wrong doings.

Please help me on what steps should I do to end the harm done.

I want to thank you Dr. Phil.  Your expression "Can't change what you don't acknowledge" has hit me like a brick wall these past two days.

I have had an awakening that I needed.  LOL I didn't "want" it but I accepted it anyway. 

A group has betrayed me for the past 7 years.  I allowed it and I kept trying and trying to prove myself.  They got richer and I got no thank you of any kind.  Well today, for some odd reason I played back a segment of one of your broadcasts and you said those six words.  I hope you don't mind but will keep that tape so I can replay that expression when I need it in case of lapse of judgment and need from people not worthy of my time.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

Even though I didn't play a game like soccer; and lost, you tossed me a lifesaver (peppermint) and gave me things to think about.  I have choices.  I AM NO ONES PAWN ANYMORE.

I didn't tell these people to go scratch but my attitude of ever emailing them with ideas or suggestions will be a cold day in H E double hockeypucks.

Thank you Dr. Phil.

Pearlhanna