Hello, I would like to know if you consider this betrayal. I am confused and would like some proper understanding and advice.
I am a happy married women, I had made several friends at work. What I am about to share is a tad interesting. I met the person Jane at work. Jane and I never got along we just did not like one another. We both always had something to say and at times it was negative remarks. I like Jane and for some reason there seem to be slight attraction. I did express myself to Jane and she said, she had the feeling I did like her, she then went on to say, there is no attraction on her part. I understood what she said and was wondering why would this be... I then said okay, being married for 5 years and happy at that why would that be possible human nature. That has been my first attraction ever.
So I begin to meet other workers and met this wonderful older person named Mary.
Marry was funny and dear we enjoyed a laughter during lunch and was a great feeling to meet someone that seemed so funny. Jane had seen me with this person and deceided to join in Next thing you know Jane had kept being with us and was funny. I had asked Jane why the sudden changed, she replied a change of heart.
I did not understand the change of heart. I am a understanding person and thought okay. Only to find out a couple of months later Jane had shared with me that she was in lust with Mary. I was shocked to hear such a thing. " meaing I had express myself and that was end of story, but with Jane it was diffrent there were tons of emails at work and at home she would email thinking Mary. It became so bad Jane could not take the crush she like mary so much she told me she loved her? I said love? How can you love, somebody that you don't know she had stated its a love thing trust me. I figure since Jane is young she probably did not know what true love is... Well months went by I had to hear stories about mary and mary and mary. I was sick of hearing stories about mary and decided to tell Mary myself. Mary seem shocked at the words then I said its a young crush thing, I was also honest with mary and told her my feelings she laughed and said, she is a beautiful young lady that is true, but deep in the heart where would it go. I then thought about what she said and realized yes she is right where would this go. Well finally Jane step up to the plate and told Mary what she thought of her. Mary was understanding and said, I am so happy you thought of me in this way but I can not go that route with you. You are a wondeful person and I have my friendship to you. Jane was hurt with that response and wishes she could have more, she has gotten me to send emails to Mary, and ask Mary this and finally one day I said look. I am so fricken tired being your "pimp" I dont want this. and exspecially when I had told you my feelings towards you, it almost seem like a slap in the face. I was upset because I had had it.
Jane went on to say i was Jealous i said what? WIth a look to slap, I said no its not like that you are just getting to me and you say you want to be my friend? How can I be someone friend who only wants to talk about Mary, I want to know more other then Mary, can you give me that much. She seemed shock at my response but I left it at that. After a while Jane accept Mary as a friend and keeps in contact with her leaving me with nothing. I was upset at first almost feeling How dare she used me to get close with someone else. I came to the point I can't even look at this person. Mary likes jane and is okay with the attraction she finds her sweet and smart and a hard worker... I had told Mary I am okay with that, but did express to her I did not like the idea of being used, Mary seem confused on that response and I had shared with her, but left it as teach this young girl what a real friend is.
Now my question is to get another opinion and a honest one. Is it rude of me to not talk to jane and ingore her it bothers me because in my opinion I felt used. I just need a 3rd party opinion.
Thanks,
