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Topic : Betrayal

Number of Replies: 232
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:19:05 am
Author : dataimport
What do you do when a trusted friend stabs you in the back? Give them a chance to explain? Or end the friendship?

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November 25, 2007, 12:38 pm CST

This Time It's War

I posted a while back about a not so great friend of mine named Monique or M. To sum things up I broke off the friendship and decided to move on to better friends. Everything was going great until a few weeks ago.

My boyfriend and I have been dating since September and we're pretty much like glue and paper. I asked him to keep the whole thing quiet for the first couple weeks since I was unsure of what my friends would think. We kept the whole thing on the DL until the night of one of the football games. He scored a spectacular touch down and in his excitment scooped me up and kissed me. It wasn't until he set me down that I noticed M smirking at us. I was polite and waved but she just walked off. Later that night my friend Leanne told me that she had heard M say that I didn't deserve my boyfriend and that she could totally take him if she wanted. I waved it off as one of her meaningless threats and to my luck my friends thought Just (my bf) was perfect for me.

The whole thing started at a party where M was continously flirting with Just, so I got a little defensive. He told me not to worry, that she wasn't his type. I had left to go find Leanne so we could go home when all of a sudden I look up and M grabs right a hold of Just and says to me: "He needs a better girl than you, you're just a little puppy like bitch." Then she...kissed him. He pushed away and put his hands in the air and at that point my rope snapped. I slapped M so hard she fell on the floor. Just grabbed me and walked me out of the party and to our quiet spot. Ever since I've been very protective of Just and don't feel like myself. No matter how many times he tells me that his heart is mine I can't beleive it.

To top it all off she told my teachers that I went on an unexcused vacation so now my grades are in trouble too and I'm a Honor Society student and get high honors every semester. So please help would be nice.

Ce

 
December 15, 2007, 12:36 am CST

Betrayed by my so-called friend

I just recently formed a decsion with what I thought was my dear friend.  That she is a habitual liar and has no self respect!  Here's the story.  About a year ago I had helped her get out of her bad relationship and had a rental available and had her sign a lease.  In the agreement my husband and I stated that she was able to pay her monthly payment of $800.00 in two installments.  Since we both work at the same job we were both paid bi-weekly and we told her that she could pay $400.00 each payday.  I also provided furniture for her and her children and a few other necessary item's that I had availabe to give her.  Over the past year she has habitually not paid her rent on time and I always had to ask for the payment on the following Monday.  I used to be a single parent so I know how times get hard but I managed and always paid my rent on time and all my utitilies even if that meant that my child would eat and I wouldn't.  Now it has come to the point where she is still $400.00 behing on rent and has told me over the past few month's she would pay it back so that the money wouldn't come between our friendship.  So, we are in the last month and I was expecting and extra $200.00 at the beginning of the month and the other $200.00 at the end and of course once again she has failed to comply.  I feel she has honestly taken advantage of our friendship and that she is only telling me sob stories for which I'm tired of hearing.  Been there done that and I can honestly say she has not put in the effort to have the money to pay me back.  Over this entire year I have been nothing but kind hearted to her with taking her to lunch and buying to taking her to the movies and paying for her ticket and anything else with not expecting anything in return.  I knew times were rough so I was being a good friend and I'm a very giving person.  The last payday I actually had to show up at her house because I was in fear if I didn't collect on the Friday she would have the weekend to possibly spend that portion of the rent money.  As I was in the house I noticed that she had "cable" tv and had a computer that her son was accessing the internet.  That was a slap in my face because I thought to myself that she still owes me $400.00 yet she has money to have cable and the internet?  To me those are NOT a necessity, they are a luxury.  Needless to say I was not happy with her and wrote her a letter telling her my thoughts on the matter.  She then didn't speak to me for "2" day's and another friend of mine said that she was probably mad at me.  Mad at me?  They stated that since I basically told her she shouldn't have calbe or internet she was going to take offense to it and that's why she hasn't spoken to me.  This brings me to the next issue.  When she moved into the rental in the beginning we didn't charge her for a deposit because we knew she had just left her spouse and helped her out that way but also we helped her get Direct TV.  Her credit was soo bad that she would have had to put a deposit down for $250.00.  So, out of the kindness of our hearts we opened an account for the rental and she was to pay the bill every month.  Since I had the falling out with her on the rent I decided to call Direct TV and check on the status of that.  I got the worst shock ever!  The last payment she made was in September and they shut the service off and the account is now in collections.  IN MY HUSBANDS NAME!  They said that to pay it off we would have to come up with $430.00 because there was a service contract and late fee's.  This made me cry soo bad for the fact that I was the stupid one who trusted her to keep up with this bill and then my sorrow turned into anger because she knew she hadn't paid on that bill since September and come to find out her boyfriend got a Cable company in to get her service.  She blatantly still has yet to make a payment on that bill and never ONCE mentioned that she was late, the service got shut off or that it went to collections.  How did she not know?  The bill was sent to the rental!  When I confronted her she used the poor me factor once again and that she didn't have the money to pay it and I told her she wasn't ruining her credit she was now ruining my husbands.  She then ensued into a screaming match with me and stated that who was I to tell her that she can't have the internet and that the only reason she had it was so her daughter could do her school work on it.  She just didn't get it!  I couldn't believe her and I just cried and then left as she slamed the door behind me telling me she would get me money for which I don't believe her.  I have tried to be a good friend in telling her that she needed a second job so she could simply afford those extra things and that it was rough and she just did the "let me just say what she needs to hear and then this will be over with" thing.  Unreal!  My children ran up a cell bill and I knew how much it was and put in overtime at work so I knew I could cover paying that bill yet for month's she's done nothing in trying to pay us back for the $400.00 she still owed.  It's like she isn't sorry for ruining my husbands credit now?  Or doesn't even feel bad about not paying back what she owes in rent.  She has "3" children and what I would love to do is throw her out on her butt but then I see the kid's.  It truly breaks my heart that after all I've done this is how she thanks me.  Can someone give me their thoughts on the matter.  I know what I should do but would just like some others advice.  I'm just very hurt right now and very, very disappointed at someone I thought was a great friend to me.

 
December 15, 2007, 1:39 am CST

Betrayal...

Quote From: egyptianturk

I just recently formed a decsion with what I thought was my dear friend.  That she is a habitual liar and has no self respect!  Here's the story.  About a year ago I had helped her get out of her bad relationship and had a rental available and had her sign a lease.  In the agreement my husband and I stated that she was able to pay her monthly payment of $800.00 in two installments.  Since we both work at the same job we were both paid bi-weekly and we told her that she could pay $400.00 each payday.  I also provided furniture for her and her children and a few other necessary item's that I had availabe to give her.  Over the past year she has habitually not paid her rent on time and I always had to ask for the payment on the following Monday.  I used to be a single parent so I know how times get hard but I managed and always paid my rent on time and all my utitilies even if that meant that my child would eat and I wouldn't.  Now it has come to the point where she is still $400.00 behing on rent and has told me over the past few month's she would pay it back so that the money wouldn't come between our friendship.  So, we are in the last month and I was expecting and extra $200.00 at the beginning of the month and the other $200.00 at the end and of course once again she has failed to comply.  I feel she has honestly taken advantage of our friendship and that she is only telling me sob stories for which I'm tired of hearing.  Been there done that and I can honestly say she has not put in the effort to have the money to pay me back.  Over this entire year I have been nothing but kind hearted to her with taking her to lunch and buying to taking her to the movies and paying for her ticket and anything else with not expecting anything in return.  I knew times were rough so I was being a good friend and I'm a very giving person.  The last payday I actually had to show up at her house because I was in fear if I didn't collect on the Friday she would have the weekend to possibly spend that portion of the rent money.  As I was in the house I noticed that she had "cable" tv and had a computer that her son was accessing the internet.  That was a slap in my face because I thought to myself that she still owes me $400.00 yet she has money to have cable and the internet?  To me those are NOT a necessity, they are a luxury.  Needless to say I was not happy with her and wrote her a letter telling her my thoughts on the matter.  She then didn't speak to me for "2" day's and another friend of mine said that she was probably mad at me.  Mad at me?  They stated that since I basically told her she shouldn't have calbe or internet she was going to take offense to it and that's why she hasn't spoken to me.  This brings me to the next issue.  When she moved into the rental in the beginning we didn't charge her for a deposit because we knew she had just left her spouse and helped her out that way but also we helped her get Direct TV.  Her credit was soo bad that she would have had to put a deposit down for $250.00.  So, out of the kindness of our hearts we opened an account for the rental and she was to pay the bill every month.  Since I had the falling out with her on the rent I decided to call Direct TV and check on the status of that.  I got the worst shock ever!  The last payment she made was in September and they shut the service off and the account is now in collections.  IN MY HUSBANDS NAME!  They said that to pay it off we would have to come up with $430.00 because there was a service contract and late fee's.  This made me cry soo bad for the fact that I was the stupid one who trusted her to keep up with this bill and then my sorrow turned into anger because she knew she hadn't paid on that bill since September and come to find out her boyfriend got a Cable company in to get her service.  She blatantly still has yet to make a payment on that bill and never ONCE mentioned that she was late, the service got shut off or that it went to collections.  How did she not know?  The bill was sent to the rental!  When I confronted her she used the poor me factor once again and that she didn't have the money to pay it and I told her she wasn't ruining her credit she was now ruining my husbands.  She then ensued into a screaming match with me and stated that who was I to tell her that she can't have the internet and that the only reason she had it was so her daughter could do her school work on it.  She just didn't get it!  I couldn't believe her and I just cried and then left as she slamed the door behind me telling me she would get me money for which I don't believe her.  I have tried to be a good friend in telling her that she needed a second job so she could simply afford those extra things and that it was rough and she just did the "let me just say what she needs to hear and then this will be over with" thing.  Unreal!  My children ran up a cell bill and I knew how much it was and put in overtime at work so I knew I could cover paying that bill yet for month's she's done nothing in trying to pay us back for the $400.00 she still owed.  It's like she isn't sorry for ruining my husbands credit now?  Or doesn't even feel bad about not paying back what she owes in rent.  She has "3" children and what I would love to do is throw her out on her butt but then I see the kid's.  It truly breaks my heart that after all I've done this is how she thanks me.  Can someone give me their thoughts on the matter.  I know what I should do but would just like some others advice.  I'm just very hurt right now and very, very disappointed at someone I thought was a great friend to me.

Hello, I just read your post.  I couldn't sleep so I decided to surf around on Dr. Phil, and find me a place to rest..Sounds like you are a lot like me, too genous and end up getting screwed...I think after this, you would of learned a whole lot...that even with friends, one can't go to those lengths to help a person out.  I mean, it's nice, but sometimes we need to take a long look at the situation first..Giving too much, sometimes also can enable them in the end..I know it's hard not to help..but, perhaps help only so much..so far..

 

It's really disappointing and hurtful, when we see that the friend we thought they were..just isn't..it leaves us feeling so foolish...I do that too, I believe so much in that person..and when, they let me down..I wonder, why was I so blind?  Why was I so stupid?  I tell you though, going through this a few times..cures me..I've been let down by a few ppl recently...and I will talk about soon, in anost...But, let me say this, I know how you're feeling...Just try, and remember YOU are the GOOD person..THEY took advantage of you...and that's wrong...hopefully, you will get everything that is owed you....you just be happy about yourself, and it's THAT person...that really screwed up...and just hold that inside of you..the fact that YOU are  that GOOD person..and remember this, but next time also be careful..friend or not, we can't always give them the world..

 

Dee

 
December 15, 2007, 1:44 am CST

How does one....get overt

Quote From: egyptianturk

I just recently formed a decsion with what I thought was my dear friend.  That she is a habitual liar and has no self respect!  Here's the story.  About a year ago I had helped her get out of her bad relationship and had a rental available and had her sign a lease.  In the agreement my husband and I stated that she was able to pay her monthly payment of $800.00 in two installments.  Since we both work at the same job we were both paid bi-weekly and we told her that she could pay $400.00 each payday.  I also provided furniture for her and her children and a few other necessary item's that I had availabe to give her.  Over the past year she has habitually not paid her rent on time and I always had to ask for the payment on the following Monday.  I used to be a single parent so I know how times get hard but I managed and always paid my rent on time and all my utitilies even if that meant that my child would eat and I wouldn't.  Now it has come to the point where she is still $400.00 behing on rent and has told me over the past few month's she would pay it back so that the money wouldn't come between our friendship.  So, we are in the last month and I was expecting and extra $200.00 at the beginning of the month and the other $200.00 at the end and of course once again she has failed to comply.  I feel she has honestly taken advantage of our friendship and that she is only telling me sob stories for which I'm tired of hearing.  Been there done that and I can honestly say she has not put in the effort to have the money to pay me back.  Over this entire year I have been nothing but kind hearted to her with taking her to lunch and buying to taking her to the movies and paying for her ticket and anything else with not expecting anything in return.  I knew times were rough so I was being a good friend and I'm a very giving person.  The last payday I actually had to show up at her house because I was in fear if I didn't collect on the Friday she would have the weekend to possibly spend that portion of the rent money.  As I was in the house I noticed that she had "cable" tv and had a computer that her son was accessing the internet.  That was a slap in my face because I thought to myself that she still owes me $400.00 yet she has money to have cable and the internet?  To me those are NOT a necessity, they are a luxury.  Needless to say I was not happy with her and wrote her a letter telling her my thoughts on the matter.  She then didn't speak to me for "2" day's and another friend of mine said that she was probably mad at me.  Mad at me?  They stated that since I basically told her she shouldn't have calbe or internet she was going to take offense to it and that's why she hasn't spoken to me.  This brings me to the next issue.  When she moved into the rental in the beginning we didn't charge her for a deposit because we knew she had just left her spouse and helped her out that way but also we helped her get Direct TV.  Her credit was soo bad that she would have had to put a deposit down for $250.00.  So, out of the kindness of our hearts we opened an account for the rental and she was to pay the bill every month.  Since I had the falling out with her on the rent I decided to call Direct TV and check on the status of that.  I got the worst shock ever!  The last payment she made was in September and they shut the service off and the account is now in collections.  IN MY HUSBANDS NAME!  They said that to pay it off we would have to come up with $430.00 because there was a service contract and late fee's.  This made me cry soo bad for the fact that I was the stupid one who trusted her to keep up with this bill and then my sorrow turned into anger because she knew she hadn't paid on that bill since September and come to find out her boyfriend got a Cable company in to get her service.  She blatantly still has yet to make a payment on that bill and never ONCE mentioned that she was late, the service got shut off or that it went to collections.  How did she not know?  The bill was sent to the rental!  When I confronted her she used the poor me factor once again and that she didn't have the money to pay it and I told her she wasn't ruining her credit she was now ruining my husbands.  She then ensued into a screaming match with me and stated that who was I to tell her that she can't have the internet and that the only reason she had it was so her daughter could do her school work on it.  She just didn't get it!  I couldn't believe her and I just cried and then left as she slamed the door behind me telling me she would get me money for which I don't believe her.  I have tried to be a good friend in telling her that she needed a second job so she could simply afford those extra things and that it was rough and she just did the "let me just say what she needs to hear and then this will be over with" thing.  Unreal!  My children ran up a cell bill and I knew how much it was and put in overtime at work so I knew I could cover paying that bill yet for month's she's done nothing in trying to pay us back for the $400.00 she still owed.  It's like she isn't sorry for ruining my husbands credit now?  Or doesn't even feel bad about not paying back what she owes in rent.  She has "3" children and what I would love to do is throw her out on her butt but then I see the kid's.  It truly breaks my heart that after all I've done this is how she thanks me.  Can someone give me their thoughts on the matter.  I know what I should do but would just like some others advice.  I'm just very hurt right now and very, very disappointed at someone I thought was a great friend to me.

the hurt caused by a friend?  I mean, we all hear about getting over the hurt caused in a guy/girl relationship...but, how about just 'friends'?  of the opposite sex?  Some ppl may think, that it's wierd to have this reaction...reaction of sadness, hurt, feeling of being really stupid, and feeling used...How does one get over this?  I guess, the answer is 'time'...I know on the Dr. Phil show once, he said not to hold out for 'I'm sorrys'...because, some ppl just don't get it..some, ppl they will never get that..

 

How do you justify being in a friendship for so long, and it to turn out like it did?  Did we want to make believe it was a 'good' friendship?  anyway, just some thoughts..up late, and need to try and sleep again...

 

Dee

 
December 27, 2007, 7:19 pm CST

Neighbour is getting too friendly

I have a nice neighbour who we are very friendly with and often does odd jobs and the such for us, however recently he has started to comment on the way I look and to get touchy and feely.  I have told him that he should not covet thy neighbours wife and that if he wont behave then he should go home.  I don't want to destroy the friendship as the neighbours on the other side of us are not friendly (we are disputing over a fence at the moment).  I would like any advice on how I should handle him when he comes over.
 
December 28, 2007, 8:27 pm CST

Can't Trust

Hi, I have been married for six years. And I have a friend whom I met through my husband. Whom I have been friends with for six years. Over the years she has become like a sister to me.  But from the moment that I met her, I have always had these bad feelings. I always felt like something had happen between them. Recently my friend made a comment that did not sit well with me, and when I confronted her about it ,she became angry and said that I had insecurity issues. Well the confrontation escalated into an argument and she made comments the eluded that she and my husband have done something. She said that I had figured out part of it, but I did not have a clue, and if I knew what she knew then I would be sick. She made a comment stating "what goes on in the dark would surface to the light'. I am confused by her comments and really don't know if she is just trying to play with my head, or telling me something that has actually happened. I have asked my husband to be honest with me about this, and he tells me that he has never been with her. But for some reason I don't believe him. Please help.
 
January 19, 2008, 8:59 pm CST

Betrayal

Forgive!! Life is full of beautiful experiences!! Gain stength from what you already know
 
January 19, 2008, 9:02 pm CST

Lucky Me Lucky

 
January 19, 2008, 9:02 pm CST

Lucky Me Lucky

 
January 19, 2008, 9:22 pm CST

Charles Aznavour (LaBohemia)

J"taime

J"mon Amis

 

I really do need to take french  (whoops) I know that you have staff for all of this so do I, However.  This is something I need to do. Actually, this is wonderful! for the first time ever, I feel like I can speak, for what is worth Ok..... I will do my best  to Ápeak with all of  you, that wish to speak with me.

xo :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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