This is the 1st time I've ever done anything like this, but I just didn't know what else to do. I'll try to make it brief. I moved down to
Fort Lauderdale
, Fl for college in Oct. 2002, this is when I encountered my 1st TRUE dose of backstabbing best friends. His name was Alain we had a short friendship, about 7 months before he ultimately got me evicted from student housing at the college we went to, and then left me to go back to his hometown. We were joined at the hip, we did everything together. After he left I was devastated I invested all of myself in our friendship and was alone.
A few months later I meet Andy. The reason I am writing this today. Just like Alian, Andy is a gay guy, and just like Alain, Andy and I hit it off instantly. We were best friends real fast, who hung out everyday and talked a few times a day. I knew I didn't want another Alain relationship so I wanted to maintain some distance. But, little did I know Andy was not that kind of friend. You know the kind of friend who surprise visits you and then wants to hangout all day and do everything with you, even if you don’t'. Well, that’s him. I'm pretty much the opposite of that , I enjoy my space greatly ,but, with Andy I didn't mind too much. (There were a number of times when he would just show up at my door unannounced and I wouldn't answer, but he would peek through my blinds and say “I can see you come out" and I would, until I eventually stop pretending not to be home).
Around Oct of last year
Fort Lauderdale
was hit by a devastating hurricane and my apartment was declared unlivable, I lost 90% of my clothes, most of my furniture and a lot of my sanity. On, top of having to move in with him and his boyfriend in their apartment, we were rendered power-less, there was no electricity for 13 days. I think this strained our relationship greatly, I was stressed out beyond the max; homeless, school wasn't going well, and I had no clothes or money or even a TV. to watch or air conditioner to think in. I finally found a place to live, (10 streets north of Andy) and started to rebuild my life. I went home for Thanksgiving and Christmas break, only to come back to
Florida
facing more stress than when I left.
Over Christmas break Andy went to see his family in
New York
. His friend of a few years went with him (another gay guy named Eric). They had an awesome time, which made me jealous. They went to bars and drank and explored the city. I was jealous, because Andy is 26 and I'm 21, I like to go out, dance, drink, flirt, whatever but he say's "he’s over that". He never wants to go out, (I can count the number of times we have been out on my hands, and we've been friends for roughly 2 years) If I'm lucky we may go to the movies, but even that’s died down since his new job. After their
New York
trip Eric needed a place to stay, so he moved in with Andy.
Things have gotten really bad now, I'll call him on Sunday, and he won’t call me back until Wed. I know that might not seem like a big deal, but it kills me every time. He works at Blockbuster and gets free movie rentals, so we would have movie nights a few times a week; it’s been 3 weeks since our movie night! And now when we do hang out, its like, he’s tired of me he gets annoyed after a few hours. (All of which happened with Alain as well) But I swear I haven’t changed since he’s known me, I don’t know what it could be. To add gasoline to the fire Eric lives there now, and is now Andy’s live in best friend. They now have inside jokes, and check out guys together. Now it’s like Andy won’t see me without Eric. Andy is well aware what happen to Alain and I, and what he did to me, so for Andy to start resembling Alian’s behavior devastates me. Like I said I don’t have many close friends, infact including Andy I have 2. I have been single all of my life and never really dated, so I basically have a lot of time to think about this alone.
So I guess here is my situation, we don't hang out anymore like we use to. I'm not saying I want to do everything together like we use to some space is fine. But, I just feel like he just pushed me away. He replaced me with someone else. Someone who maybe doesn't bitch and complain like me, or who has fewer issues, or who is a better friend-match than me. It hurts on so many different levels, because he really is my only close friend down here, I don't really have anyone else and the fact that I just went through this with Alain kills me inside. I can't take having this happen to me twice, in a row. I cry about it a few times a day, and I think he could care less a bout me at this point. I honestly do. I'm dead to him; he has a new best friend, a better best friend. Like people take the time to want to know me, and when they do, they want out. I never had this problem before but I can't escape it now. I talk to some of my old friends and things are as they’ve always been. I love him dearly, and don’t want to loose him, but I need to know what’s going on. If you can help me and my situation I would really appreciate it. I’m sick of crying everyday, Thanx
