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Topic : Betrayal

Number of Replies: 232
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:19:05 am
Author : dataimport
What do you do when a trusted friend stabs you in the back? Give them a chance to explain? Or end the friendship?

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March 21, 2006, 10:34 am CST

help

OK I need help I kinda thought that this girl got raped but didn't ask her if it hap pended. I kinda told this girl and she might of told her but now the girl know and is getting this boy Bobby into it he has nothing to do with it but what should I do to make it better between both the girl I started the rummer about and the boy Bobby ?
 
March 21, 2006, 2:31 pm CST

Apologize!!!!!

Quote From: hotgurl

OK I need help I kinda thought that this girl got raped but didn't ask her if it hap pended. I kinda told this girl and she might of told her but now the girl know and is getting this boy Bobby into it he has nothing to do with it but what should I do to make it better between both the girl I started the rummer about and the boy Bobby ?
I hope that you have learned  that gossip can be very hurtful to someone.  Whether or not it was true you had no right to blab it around.  You owe that girl a HUGE apology and you also need to tell whoever you gossiped to that you were wrong.  Whether they would ever be willing to trust you again, I don't know.  You may be in for a long long haul in proving to them that you are truly sorry and that you can be trusted.  I would also ask myself  if I were you, why you did this. What was your motivation in gossiping about something that could be so damaging to other people??
 
March 27, 2006, 6:56 pm CST

I'm the fifth wheel

Jane,Sally and I have been good friends for a long time we don't go anywhere unless all three of us can go...or so I thought. I recently discovered Jane and Sally go places without me quite often,and have been doing so for a long time,plus they are planning a day trip and didn't invite me along for that either...Jane say's I'm her best friend she feels closer to me if this is true why does she buy gifts for Sally and has never bought anything for me and why would she go out with Sally without asking me?Could she be feeding me a line of BS to stroke my ego? If so for what purpose?  I've always felt closer to Jane but,now Jane and Sally work at the same place, I feel like a fifth wheel/outsider because I don't work where they do in addition to feeling betrayed by both of them because they have been hanging out together behind my back.  My husband says they have the right to do things without me I'm too sensitive about the situation. I've been in a funk for two weeks I'm so hurt and I can't seem to get over it!
 
March 27, 2006, 9:10 pm CST

fifth wheel

Quote From: lijobr

Jane,Sally and I have been good friends for a long time we don't go anywhere unless all three of us can go...or so I thought. I recently discovered Jane and Sally go places without me quite often,and have been doing so for a long time,plus they are planning a day trip and didn't invite me along for that either...Jane say's I'm her best friend she feels closer to me if this is true why does she buy gifts for Sally and has never bought anything for me and why would she go out with Sally without asking me?Could she be feeding me a line of BS to stroke my ego? If so for what purpose?  I've always felt closer to Jane but,now Jane and Sally work at the same place, I feel like a fifth wheel/outsider because I don't work where they do in addition to feeling betrayed by both of them because they have been hanging out together behind my back.  My husband says they have the right to do things without me I'm too sensitive about the situation. I've been in a funk for two weeks I'm so hurt and I can't seem to get over it!

I don't mean this to sound disrespectful, but how old are you? Your post sounds like something my 15 year old daughter would be complaining about. I have to agree with your husband, you might be too sensitive about this situation! You can't control what your friends do without you, the only thing you can do is accept it, and try to make yourself involved. Have you withdrawn from them lately in order to "prove" that you don't need them? If you have, you are only hurting yourself, because their lives will go on without you. also, they won't know if you are upset about something unless you tell them, they are not mind readers, so if you really need to know if they are doing this to be mean to you, then you should bring it up. 

 
March 28, 2006, 9:16 am CST

re betrayal

Quote From: jenoc99

I don't mean this to sound disrespectful, but how old are you? Your post sounds like something my 15 year old daughter would be complaining about. I have to agree with your husband, you might be too sensitive about this situation! You can't control what your friends do without you, the only thing you can do is accept it, and try to make yourself involved. Have you withdrawn from them lately in order to "prove" that you don't need them? If you have, you are only hurting yourself, because their lives will go on without you. also, they won't know if you are upset about something unless you tell them, they are not mind readers, so if you really need to know if they are doing this to be mean to you, then you should bring it up. 

 I confronted them but,didn't get any kind of real response and no I haven't withdrawn from them as of matter of fact I just asked BOTH of them to lunch last week. 

  

  

My age isn't important what is important is that I have grown tired of it always having to be a threesome everywhere we go ( it's too junior high IMO) and have been trying to occasionally do things on a more one on one basis, and THEY are the ones who insist it's all of us or nothing.  

  

I have even tried a few times to convince them go out without me and they say " we can't go out wihtout you it's all three of us or nothing we would never go anywhere without you"  but the truth of the matter is they do go out without me quite often and  for some unknown reason they feel they need to hide it from me. 

  

Let me ask you..if the shoe was on your foot wouldn't you be angry and/or hurt? Obviously you've never been a fifth wheel 

  

  

  

 
April 5, 2006, 3:45 pm CDT

FIFTH WHEEL IS ONLY BAD WHEN...

Quote From: jenoc99

I don't mean this to sound disrespectful, but how old are you? Your post sounds like something my 15 year old daughter would be complaining about. I have to agree with your husband, you might be too sensitive about this situation! You can't control what your friends do without you, the only thing you can do is accept it, and try to make yourself involved. Have you withdrawn from them lately in order to "prove" that you don't need them? If you have, you are only hurting yourself, because their lives will go on without you. also, they won't know if you are upset about something unless you tell them, they are not mind readers, so if you really need to know if they are doing this to be mean to you, then you should bring it up. 

........the people you came with are your ride home. 

  

I love being out with my friends single or married cause i can do what i want when i want and how i want the only life i need to control is my own 

Isn't it a fact that in friendship as in marriage we are suppose to ADD something to the relationship not look to have someone to hang on to? 

We are suppose to be separate yet together we live equal yet individual lives and if we cannot do that then we do not need to be in ANY relationship !!! 

  

Anyhow that is my .02 cents worth  

 
April 5, 2006, 3:48 pm CDT

HAVE A GET-TOGETHER

Quote From: lijobr

Jane,Sally and I have been good friends for a long time we don't go anywhere unless all three of us can go...or so I thought. I recently discovered Jane and Sally go places without me quite often,and have been doing so for a long time,plus they are planning a day trip and didn't invite me along for that either...Jane say's I'm her best friend she feels closer to me if this is true why does she buy gifts for Sally and has never bought anything for me and why would she go out with Sally without asking me?Could she be feeding me a line of BS to stroke my ego? If so for what purpose?  I've always felt closer to Jane but,now Jane and Sally work at the same place, I feel like a fifth wheel/outsider because I don't work where they do in addition to feeling betrayed by both of them because they have been hanging out together behind my back.  My husband says they have the right to do things without me I'm too sensitive about the situation. I've been in a funk for two weeks I'm so hurt and I can't seem to get over it!

On your Terms or send them an e-mail tell them how you feel cause they may not mean anything by it  

if they do then find some new buddies !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 
April 6, 2006, 10:30 am CDT

If it walks like a duck

Quote From: janice1018

 I have a friend that lives in another state.  She seems to constantly have this need to connect with my boyfriend.  Now, my boyfriend has cheated on me in the past and we broke up.  We worked things out and things are much better and I do trust him.  She knows all of this past drama.  First I found an ecard that she sent him with a naked woman on it....saying, " I started without you".  Her and I discussed that one and I had to explain to her that was not appropriate to send to someone else's boyfriend.  She said she was sorry and she didnt know.  Then about 6 months later, I found another ecard from her to him with little floating hearts back and forth saying "how well they fit together".  I then had to discuss that with her as well.  Again, she didnt know this was wrong.  When I find all of these cards from her, I also search out to see what he sends back and I cant find where he is sending anything to her.  Now, she does not have a cpr anymore and she has taken it upon herself to start calling him almost everyday.  She still calls me, but calls him on his cell when he is at work.  Again, I cant see where he is the one calling her.  Now, I wouldnt even think about calling one of my friends boyfriends or husbands on a regular basis.  Nor, would I ever send them such ecards.  So I am wondering am I just being jealous?  I used to have such a jealousy problem and I have worked very hard on it.  I dont want to be over-reacting.  But, it just doesnt feel right to me.

chances are it is a duck !!!!! 

  

You did not have to explain that to her 

she knows and he should be the one to say  

Hey no more or not like this ! 

  

  

 
April 6, 2006, 10:33 am CDT

I cancelled my subscription...

...to a 12 year friendship that was more me give her take and i finally said NO MORE !!! 

  

People can only do to you what you give them the power to do ! 

 
April 6, 2006, 10:40 am CDT

Holy Mother of Jesus

Quote From: jerseycath

Hi -I read your post and feel so sad for you.  But at the same time I am elated that you now have a chance to move on and find happiness and take care of yourself and your children properly. 

Children grow to emulate their parents--don't you want tthem to see you as strong and willing to stand up for yourself, rather than willing to put up with the emotional abuse and alcoholism? 

My husband grew up in a family where both parents were alcoholics, physical abuse was the only physical touch he ever saw between his parents.  It has taken a lot for him to overcome, and even now he still struggles with many leftover issues because of them. 

 

I wish you luck and much happiness, you are worth it!  Sometimes the worst thing at the moment is the best in the long run.  good luck and keep posting .we are here for you     

check out my previous message ( and i wrote it before i read yours ) we could be twins OMG... 

Hope you manage to stay far away .............. the Heartattack is/was your chance to start again but not with the booze it isn't too late for you to have a new a good a better life !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  

Believe me after two years of divorce and the end of a friendship with my best friend ( as i said you and i could be twins) wow .................Prayers and Huggs  

  

                                                                                                      LADYBUG 

 
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