Topic : Betrayal

I was betrayed by someone i grew up with since we was about 8years old. i'm now 24years old and a single mother. i found out that my so call friend at the time was sleeping with my soon to be daughter father. what so disrespectful about the whole thing is that i had to find out by calling a cell phone i thought was his only to her her voice on the voice -mail. just when i thought things was picking up between us they both betrayed me.i later confronted him about it and of cause like a man he deined the whole thing and she moved to her mom house so i never spoke to her about it until i was about 4months preganant and my other friends was telling her about my baby shower and she knew she wasn't ninvitied. so she finally got the balls to come to my house 2am and wan't to tell her side. of cause she blaming him and he's blaming her. i then knew the type of people i was dealing with and i knew either one of them care anything about my feelings.so i keep them both on a short leash. we're friends again and i put it all in god hand. even though i feel some kind of betrayal when i'm around both of them. how can i fix that feeling 

I think sometimes that you dont need certain people in your life, maybe you are better off without her, but you have been friends for 18 yrs and understandably that would be hard, maybe you should take a break from her and see how you like it. Good luck with it. 

something similar happened to me not long ago. i was in a bad relationship with marc for a few months and had to get out but had no where to go. A friend from work said that she had a room to rent and i was welcome to it. i packed my things while he was at work and i was gone.  after a few months of living in cindys apartment he and i started to be able to be friends and put  the past in the past and agreed that maybe we were better friends but he still told me he had feelings for me.  I was seeing someone new and was having a few problems there and marc was there with a bottle of wine and chocolate to make me feel better and to talk to me about this new relationship. Cindy and marc were huge support for me and talked to me about my options.  

that same night that marc came over to make me feel better, they both wanted me to go out and get my mind off things so i agreed and went out with them exepecting a fun night at the bar with friends.  

that night cindy and marc decided to go home together and leave me at the bar without a ride home and not even a goodbye- all of a sudden they were both gone.  i was 20 miles away from home with no money and no coat as it was in the back of his car that we took to the bar. i had to hike 20 miles all the way home in november with no coat with my roomate and my X boyfriend getting it on in his apt. (wich was once our apt) 

i never forgave either of them for kicking me when i was down. i moved out as soon as i could and never spoke to him again and when she came home the next morning it was not a pretty scene to say the least... 

you are more than entitled to feel betrayed. that was a very low thing they did to you.  

neither of them have a right to blame anyone except themselves. not one of them care about your feelings they are self absorbed in themselves and couldnt bother to take 2 mins and consider your feelings.  

i dont know the story about your babys dad and why you arent together but it sounds like youve been through alot what ever the story is.  

confront them, dont hold any feelings back, after all they obviously didnt hold anything back when it came to hooking up so why should you censor yourself for the sake of their feelings. i wouldnt keep them on a leash at all, id let both of them go.  

unfortunately you cant fix the feeling of betrayal, its one of the worst feelings ever. the only thing that helped me through my hard time with marc and cindy was starting fresh and putting BOTH of them in my past. as long as they are both in your lives the feeling will always hang around.  

there are plenty of girls out there who would never do anything to hurt you and value your freindship and there are guys out there who will love you and respect you. these people who did this to you are not the last people alive that will be your friends and you owe them absolutely nothing. 

I am wondering exactly what causes me to attract the friends that I do?? Since leaving high school, I have had many friends. Many have been very good friends, but we never seem to stay in touch. It's easy once your married to get lost in ones daily lives and not devote enough time to keep a friendship going. I thought alot about this and decided to contact an old friend way back in 2003 and really work at making the friendship a go. We became closer than ever and even though I was married and she was single, we did  a lot together. It was almost as if she became my sister and also became a part of my family as a whole. She came with me and my husband to Christmas parties at my work, I tried to introduce her to the great guys I work with etc.  We always thought it was neat that her and my husband had gone to school together to get their peace officers license. My husband always said that he didn't remember her at all even though she swore they were the "best of friends". (which now we know isn't true--that she is dillusional).  

This is quite a story, so please bear with me. :) The entire year of 2004 was truly hell in my marriage. I was very unhappy and my husband didn't seem to care at all about me. It was like over night there was a complete change in him.  You see, my friend and I started seeing a lot of each other around November of 2003, the change in my husband came when I had major surgery in January of 2004.  I thought that maybe it was my hormones and depression that caused a rift between us.  BOY WAS I EVER WRONG.  This friend that I had known for almost 10 years began a secret affair with my husband in January of 2004. For the entire year, and into 2005 (January-February-March) They snuck around, sleeping together behind my back, even though she continued to be my friend and he was married to me. You see, she told him many things that were untrue about me and he believing them -- and seeing a free "piece" bought into it... That was until we went out on his birthday in Jan  of this year.. and a comment I made about "birthday nookie" set her off. I could tell she was extremely angry, not at me, but at my husband.  THat was when I sat back and started looking at the relationship between her and my husband for the last few months. I remembered my feelings and comments I made to him about her not calling me anymore and that when she did, she would slip  and say she talked to him about this or that.  When I questioned him, I was told that I was jealous and they were just really close friends.  She would ask me if we could share my husband and I would say absolutely not...She also made off the wall comments TO MY CHILDREN and to my husband's ex-wife about her being their 2nd mom.... In June of this year, he told me the entire truth.  This was after I discovered the lies and the affair (In February)... knowing in my heart it had been physical, but not knowing when they had the time.  

My husband and I have been through counseling and have decided to work it out. I love him with all of my heart , but as we all know it's hell building back the trust factor when so many things have been lied about... He would go to her house when getting off of work (they were both cops) and would call her//she would meet him at convenient stores while he was on duty.  

One of the many things that I have problems dealing with is that he used the job I encouraged him to get against me to be with her.  I honestly believe that he will not do it again, but I still have anger about the entire situation. I never was able to confront her face to face and that bugs me...  

Now that you know my story.. I am trying to move on and to trust friends again.  Needless to say, for quite a while, I didnt even want a female friend/co-worker to be around my husband. I guess it's that i still dont trust him.  I truly value friendship and believe in order to have a good marriage, we both should have friends -- but not of the opposite sex.   

How do I trust someone enough to get close to them again? We are meeting people who could be potential friends that are couples (ABSOLUTELY NO SINGLES).  That helps.  Last night, in fact, we had our Christmas party for the first time without my ex-friend.  A friend and her long time boyfriend came with us.  I work with the lady and she is really sweet and caring. I know she has been thru the same thing, because we have talked about it at work -- how badly it hurt and what happened.... she ended up divorcing her ex-husband because the girl got pregnant.  I would hope that she wouldn't do it to someone else, but my ex-friend also got divorced years ago because of her hubby leaving her for another woman. I thought she wouldn't  put anybody else thru that pain, but boy was I wrong..  

How do I be very cautious without destroying the friendship all together?? When they left the christmas party, she hugged me then turned to hug my husband. He looked at me and patted her on the shoulder. It's still a sensitive subject, but I cannot help it. How do I be cautious without destroying a beginning friendship????  After all of this?? 

me and my friend have been friends since first grade.  we did everything together we talked everyday.  She got a new job where she worked with mostly guys.  she introduced me to this guy that worked there and we started dating.  we kinda got sercious and he was really nice well my friend started talking to his brother.  my exboyfriend for on and off for 5 years came back and wanted to work things out and i love him so i wanted to two.  I told the guy that my friend introduced me to that I didn't want to be with him.  I didn't know he was going to be a psycho.   

           He called my ex and told him a alot of horrible things about me which he did not believe.  Than he called my friend and told her that I had talked about her behind her back and that I had some really hurtful things about her and called her some really bad names.  At the time we were supposed to get an apartment together,  well she told me about it and i explained to her how she was my best friend and that he was just mad because i didn't want to be with him ( because the last time i talked to him he told me he was going to mess up my life like i had messed up his) and he justwanted to take her away because he knew i was so close to her.  She acted like she believed me but i haven't talked to her since.  It seems like if she was my best friend she would of believed me and not a guy that she had only knew for 3 or 4 months.  what should i do I've already explained myself but it hurts me so bad that she won't even talk to me.