Topic : Betrayal

Dear Janice 

I had to write after reading your message.  You are NOT overreacting and you are NOT jealous.  Over-reacting, jealous...this sounds exactly like what someone like your friend would say to try to make it look like it is YOU with the problem when it is their behavior that is wrong.  I don't believe that she didn't know the cards were inappropriate.  Even if you gave her the benefit of having not known with the first one, then why did she continue to send more cards after you told her it bothered you? You say you can't find anything to indicate that he is calling her or sending cards to her.  But there is something he isn't doing that he should do and that is to tell her to stop contacting him.  If he isn't willing to do this then I see lots of red flags going up. Especially since he already has the history of cheating.  If he really cares about your feelings he would not accept any more phone calls and should not open any e-cards he gets from her.  If he is not willing to do this for you I would seriously question  this relationship.  It isn't worth it if he does not give top priority to your feelings and well-being.Also, you certainly don't need this girl for a friend.  I'd show her the door really quick, and if it hits her in the butt on the way out..well, she deserves it!  You sound like a good hearted person.  You deserve so much better for yourself. 

Julie 

I don't mean this to sound disrespectful, but how old are you? Your post sounds like something my 15 year old daughter would be complaining about. I have to agree with your husband, you might be too sensitive about this situation! You can't control what your friends do without you, the only thing you can do is accept it, and try to make yourself involved. Have you withdrawn from them lately in order to "prove" that you don't need them? If you have, you are only hurting yourself, because their lives will go on without you. also, they won't know if you are upset about something unless you tell them, they are not mind readers, so if you really need to know if they are doing this to be mean to you, then you should bring it up. 

 I confronted them but,didn't get any kind of real response and no I haven't withdrawn from them as of matter of fact I just asked BOTH of them to lunch last week. 

My age isn't important what is important is that I have grown tired of it always having to be a threesome everywhere we go ( it's too junior high IMO) and have been trying to occasionally do things on a more one on one basis, and THEY are the ones who insist it's all of us or nothing.  

I have even tried a few times to convince them go out without me and they say " we can't go out wihtout you it's all three of us or nothing we would never go anywhere without you"  but the truth of the matter is they do go out without me quite often and  for some unknown reason they feel they need to hide it from me. 

Let me ask you..if the shoe was on your foot wouldn't you be angry and/or hurt? Obviously you've never been a fifth wheel 

........the people you came with are your ride home. 

I love being out with my friends single or married cause i can do what i want when i want and how i want the only life i need to control is my own 

Isn't it a fact that in friendship as in marriage we are suppose to ADD something to the relationship not look to have someone to hang on to? 

We are suppose to be separate yet together we live equal yet individual lives and if we cannot do that then we do not need to be in ANY relationship !!! 

Anyhow that is my .02 cents worth  

On your Terms or send them an e-mail tell them how you feel cause they may not mean anything by it  

if they do then find some new buddies !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

chances are it is a duck !!!!! 

You did not have to explain that to her 

she knows and he should be the one to say  

Hey no more or not like this !