I'm posting because I feel like I am losing one of my best friends to a new boyfriend of hers. They started dating 3 months ago and since he quit his job (about a week and a half ago) I've hardly seen her at all. She used to spend every moment that she could with him before, also, but he had a job that took up a lot of his time so I still got to see her. We used to spend time together several times a week.
It really started to bother me this last week because we made plans to spend the afternoon together one day and when I called her that day and asked her when she wanted to come over to spend time with me, she said she didn't know and that she would call me and let me know. Then, after I waited all afternoon to hear from her I tried calling her. She didn't answer, and then she finally called me late in the evening to tell me she had been with her boyfriend and asked if she could see me then. I said okay and I later found out that she only came to visit me because her boyfriend left to hang out with other friends and she left in the middle of a get-together when a few friends came over later because he had gotten home and she wanted to see him again. I didn't bother to call her because I was pretty sure she'd be with him until two days later and she called me to spend time with me...I found out that again her boyfriend had gone out with friends and she again left to see him immediately when he called her to tell her he'd come home. I feel like I'm being used to keep her company when her boyfriend can't be around and that she wouldn't take even a minute from the hours of time that she sees him every day to come spend time with me. I have also tried to ask if he would like to go on double dates with her and me and my husband so that she could still spend time with him but he never wants to (he's not very social). And not only does she spend very little time with me now, but she does not talk to me anymore. She says that she can share more with him than anyone and is very closed off to me. It hurts because I have been her friend for over two years and never once in that time betrayed her trust, and I want to be there for her as a friend and I want her to confide in me.
Also, I am very worried that she is not in a good relationship but am afraid to tell her because whenever anyone even so much as hints that she and her boyfriend might not be together forever and get married she gets very upset. She's a very sensitive person and I am afraid to hurt her. It's not that I think that the guy is a mean person, but I don't think they are a very good match. He is a Mormon and very conservative, while she is liberal and the last person I would expect to see in a Mormon church (or any other church for that matter). Even though they have only been dating for a few months, she has already had many fights with him because he wants her to convert to Mormonism. He is also pushing her to marry him very soon (in the next few months) and he told her he loves her on the second date and started talking to her about marrying her around that time. I thought that she would tell him to slow it down but she says she likes it because he is making her feel "safe". I am afraid that because this is her first real relationship and because she has had some very rough experiences with guys that she is going to commit to him because she is desperate for a relationship. But they don't agree on anything from politics to religion and neither is willing to compromise or budge. I think that both of them would be happier with someone that shared their views.
Finally, the way they act around eachother when I do see them is very worrisome. Not only is it annoying and uncomfortable for everyone around them, but they make out and grope eachother in front of other people constantly. They don't seem to talk to each other much and when they do, it seems very superficial (they only joke around with each other). In fact, they were making out and acting like this even at my wedding (where I had this friend as my maid of honor) and I have been having guests for weeks comment to me that they were all over eachother, that it made them uncomfortable, and that they were acting like they are silly high school children. I just get the feeling that the relationship is very fake and superficial. They both are keeping a hope alive that the other will change: he hopes that she will convert to Mormonism, while she thinks that now that he will be finally going to college that he will become more liberal and open-minded. However, they are both so stubborn that I don't see that happening and I feel they like eachother for what they think the other person could become...not what they are.
I am very hurt and am not sure if I should confront her or give my friendship to others that would want it. I don't know if I would have ever been her friend if I knew that this is how she treats her friends once she finds a guy. If anyone could give me any advice I would really appreciate it.
