Topic : Difficulty Forming Friendships

NOW THAT IS COOL ...Charly (boy?)  or is ya a woman? Sorry, but y'er nik "Charly" could actually go either way, and I post slightly differently with men over women...this avoids aukward stuff ...men need to be handled with a more buddy attitude on these post boards I am finding, or misunderstandings of the "ahem" kinds can occur!  Know what I am say'in?

 

So! Back to what ya said, SHY, WELL!  I can't say that about myself, but people usually don't hang with me for long on account of my "spells" ...hard to describe.  Anyways, I think it's admirable of you to be pushing yourself to be "independent" because I personally find it SUPPPPER HARD!  What-EVER!  I got it figured that if they don't wish to be around me, then "noth'n I can do to force them" ...so I let'em go...I have a friend on the outside ...her name is Michele, and she totally puts up with my crap!  GOOD STUFF!  but, shoot I've known her since like grade 9...and she's seen me through some seriously tough stuff!  Anyways, this is off my point totally now, hehehe

 

CRAP!!!   hehehe, sorry Charly, totally forgot my point...shoot!  Nevermind me then, hehehe

 

OMG!  Soooooo Sorry I am a bit messed up,silly me...I think that I wanted to try and convey a thinking that for me anyways...I have chosen "BAD men" because they would take care of some of my needs in exchange...and all I needed to do was allow them to hurt me, I DUNNO...that didn't come out sounding very normal, did it...can't allow men to hit women!  It's not "Right" ...so, I decided in August to ditch that crap, and all the other negative behaviours, GET A THERAPY DUDE ON MY SIDE...still working on the "Trust" and all that Jazzzzz, but ~I am hopefull~ You are very blessed to be so far in your independence struggles!  GOOD for you!  I hope this message made some sense to you Charly, sorry if my points were hard to comprehend ...Have A Wonderfully INDEPENDENT Life (gal/guy) ...Glad to read your posting, Good Stuff!

 

From silly me, TigLi, hehehe

Mercy Me, hehehe ...you ARE A LUCKY WOMAN!  Good for you!  You use the words "Happy and Peaceful" when you describe yourself!  That is GRAND!  It gives my heart real warmth to know you are doing good in life, so what that you chose not to have kids, that is your choice, and nobody has the right to bugger with our personal choices!  If people are missing FUN, I personally think its their own darn fault!  Want FUN ?? GO AND GET SOME!  But, careful now, hehehe, DON'T DO WHAT I DONE, hehehe {evil giggles}

 

Nice ta read yer Post...Hope you post more soon!  Hugs!

"Choosing to have a Problem"

 

That's the KEY! Wouldn't think it but I really never understood that before,AND WHAT A SHAME!  For myself, me and I...Drat!  All this time and I was just a big fraidy Cat!  Scared of people!  Running, Hiding, Pushing others away!  SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!!!  Well, I am a survivor all right!  But, HOW FRIGG'N HAPPY AM I?

 

Not MUCH!  Crap!  This newest of realizations super bites!  Thank goodness I am taking a trip out to my mothers house for a night or two!  I need my "mommy" hehehe, We never really grow out of that, do we?

 

Maybe it's "Just Me?"  But....WHATEVER!

 

Later~

GRAND NEWS ALL!

 

I found the "way" to making friends!  It's complicated, and it took me a lot of effort!  But!  and I do say BUT!  With perseverance and patience on both my and their parts!!  SUCCESS!!!  FOUND!!!

 

Now, here is what worked for me,maybe it can work for you also!  I DIDN'T GIVE UP!  I kept on posting myself and with honesty!  After some months, WELL!  It finally paid off! I found Posting board friends at ezboard!  That's kind'a similar a place as this.  Not everyone took to me at first, and I was banned here/there...no problem!  FOUND ME SOME FRIENDS! On top of "that" they are teaching me how to make and maintain friends...then I can take what I learn here and apply it to the "OUTER WORLD" ...GOOD STUFF!!

 

I suggest it to anyone having problems finding friendships...go look here..ezboard.com/P082/menofwar, and join in, ~if ya's want~

 

This whole, "meet others like you" draws me ...

Or should I say "Who"???? NOT "What"

 

I dunno!   I been searching for ppl like me, BUT IT'S RARE!  So!  guess I'll chill out and keep reading till someone wishes to seemingly be friends and whom reads my stuff and thinks maybe they might be able to handle a friendship with me?

 

~Check in another time, HAPPY GOD'S DAY ALL, that is "just me?" I believe Sudays belong to my faith?~

Define people 'like you'?

 

I don't know a lot of people 'like me', either. I like to keep it that way. People like me struggle to keep balance. We always go to extremes. For instance, we are lonely, but we like to be alone. We have a lot to say, but don't say anything. You know, stuff like that. Imagine two people who like to go to extremes and never find balance hanging out together. Imagine the damage. I like to find people with balance and make them my friends. That way, I learn balance.

 

What do you demand out of a friend that makes you so difficult to handle?

 

I sometimes find myself demanding that they drop the ball and come to my beck and call at once. It takes me a bit to catch myself in the act, but I'm getting the hang of it.

I agree...PARTLY...for me, with having multiple physical and mental disabilities.  The list is huge and I'm rather tired, so i'll return on details later...just wished to "touch base"..well make having friends hard.

 

So many just find me "frustrating" or "difficult" ... I guess, not really sure, since they kind'a ditch me usually without explanation ...NOT NICE!

 

Anyhoo...wanted to just make sure ya know I'll come back to this tomorrow ...and give ya some idea of "me"...silly me, but yep...I totally get ya on wishing for "balanced friends"

 

Just quick...I have what is known as "Borderline Personality Disorder"...now, i'm bad enuff..can't imagine two of "us types" trying to live in the same house, YIKES!

 

Okay, must go to bed now, 1:30am...OOPSI, stayed up too late again! hehehe, oh well, I'm disabled, can't work...and have no kids or a man to take care of...SO NO WORRIES!

 

~Post ya's Later....HUGS~

You know that borderline personality disorder isn't an incurable disease, right?

 

I was diagnosed with it four years ago. I too, kept wondering why people were running out my life. I don't know how else to say this without sounding somewhat fridgid,but, it's the root of your problem, babydoll. Being diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder basically means that you've very unstable, are immature, and can't cope with life on life's terms. You're also litigious (you make it everyone else's fault)

It makes it hard for people to be around you, period. Now hold on sec, don't get too upset, yet. I was undiagnosed with borderline personality disorder about 2 years ago. My life is completely different. I look back and fail to recognize the person I was because I am very different today. The first thing I learned was not to openly advertise the diagnosis. Do you have a counsellor?

 

And please don't lean on your physical crutch, my sweet one. You're much too strong for that. And I'm not that stupid. So, are you seeking treatment for that curable disease?

I had a best friend that I lost 2 years ago. (we were friends for 17 years)  She was 46 years old when she died.  I have not tried to replace her friendship.  Being friends with her came at a very high price for me.  She did the ultamate betrayal ... she screwed my husband.  After a long time of not talking to her I finally did forgive her, did not forget but I did forgive.  2 months before she passed away she told my husband some things (him and I were separated at the time) about me that he had no business knowing because we were separated.  I asked her why she did that and she told me that she was dying and she didn't give a @#%&.  3 weeks before she died we made peace again.  We made that peace over the phone.  She wanted me to come see her but I didn't make time because I was still hurt.  I am still struggling with that of not going to see her before she died, I miss her everyday and wonder if she really knew how much I loved her as my friend.  I don't have really any friends now.  My life and marriage is a constant up and down roller coaster and I keep everything inside.  My husband is very toxic but yet I am in a place I can not leave.  I would like to find a friend that can be my friend and can deal with me and my up and down life.  I hate my life the way it is but for now it is what it is.  One of these days I will leave my husband for good but for now I just would like to find a friend for me.