Topic : Difficulty Forming Friendships

What would you like to do, if not playing on the computer or watching TV? I'm alot older than you, but I used to be known as shy, or even stupid in high school. I know school has changed quite a bit since I was there in the dark ages, but loneliness always feels the same. I don't think Dr Phil reads these boards, it's for people to contact others with questions or support. If you want to write to the doc, go up there to "Contact Dr. Phil."

Let me first tell you, that I am in NO way trying to hurt your feelings, be cruel to you or am talking like I am miss Perfect. No one is. Just like you are making all these assumptions about me, you have no idea how my life has been, you haven't walked in my shoes, nor have you with any other person you meet. 

You read my message, which was only posted to HELP you, and make it out to be completely negative towards you, even hurtful and what not. Try to read my message, and any other message you get, with a positive view and you'll find people aren't just there to hurt you.  

Personally I don't think if by some miracle I was able to walk in your shoes for a certain time, I would feel differently. It's all about your view on life.  

Every person comes with a lot of baggage, a lot of experiences in life. But it's all about how you deal with those experiences. Life, like so many have said before, is NOT easy and we just have to deal with whatever comes our way. You can't pick the events and you can't sit down and just feel sorry for yourself because you seem to have gotten the 'worst life there is' in your opinion. Obsticals are there to cross. You find a way to deal with it, and if you can't have what you want, you learn to live without it. Life itself should be your greatest victory. YOU alone can make it the best (or worst) you can possibly can.  

Everyone struggles with this, and so do I. And with my words I am only trying to show you a different side of things.  

If you feel your view on things helps you in your life, then please keep this view. But if you are bored with it, think that it is getting you no where, then why not listen to what other people say. You don't have to agree with everything, you don't have to even follow their words and see for yourself. The only thing YOU need to do is decide what works for you.  

I'm thinking, since you got here on the board for help, you would want those opinions, wouldn't you? 

I'm sorry you think you are not special, that you haven't got something in you that makes you unique in life. In God's eyes, EVERYONE is special, everyone is unique. Why else would he have created us? Why else would he have let us live our lives, even though there are a lot that aren't doing what he is all about, that kill each other, that hurt each other?  

Why are you keeping the biggest compliment of God away from your heart? Even if you are not a believer in God, that notion alone should give you a more positive look on life. Everyone is unique.  

Petra 

I don't have too many friends and the reason is because I have a hard time trusting anyone. The friends I do have is a very special ones. I am lucky of having two friends but at the same time; I really don't need any friends because I am a loner like one of my friend which is probably why we are friends. I stick to myself which I have been doing since Middle School and will continue doing for the rest of my life as I see my future. I really don't trust women and I get along with men better than women. The one woman friend I do have is somewhat a tomboy which I consider myself as also.

My whole life, I have been extremely shy. At school, I didn't start talking to anyone until 2nd grade. Even, then it wasn't much. In middle school, I started to get out of the shyness a little bit. I got more friends. In high school, I was a little less shy. This past summer, I got my 1st job working in the concession stand at the pool. That helped me a little bit. Right now, I don't have anyone I can really call my friend. I have a twin sister, who is my best friend. But I need more than that. I feel like everyone I thought was my friend in the past, was just pretending.  I can't make friends. I just can't do it. I'm 16 years old.. I can't talk to people. What's wrong with me?! I feel so much different than everyone else. I hate lunch time/group things at school because that means me and my sister sitting by ourselves, thinking everyone is staring, thinking bad things. In class, I'm afraid to ask questions. I'm afraid of what everyone will think. I don't talk loud at school. It's very low.I'm just rambling, but I needed to get this out. Without friends, I feel imcomplete. When I think about this, I just want to cry. I tell myself I'm not good enough for anyone, no one likes me and never will. I don't know what to do...

hey...i dont have any advice to give cuz im going through the same crap right now. do u wanna talk on msn or something?

It sounds to me like you are getting depressed over this. Have you tried thinking about the things you like to do the most,like , it might be reading[you could meet someone at the library] or you might like the ocean and swimming [learn how to scuba dive, they have great members clubs] or any kind of sport. maybe there is something you and your sister both like to do so you can join something together, that might make it easier. When i was at school, i only made one good friend that i still have now. some times you only need one special friend. I don't think anything is wrong with you. I think there is a lot of people your age that feel exactly the same way. I was the same at school and still sometimes when i am feeling down i wonder why i don't have more friends. By the way, I am female, I just needed to use my husbands e-mail to join this members board as mine would'nt work. Good luck!

It sounds to me like you are getting depressed over this. Have you tried thinking about the things you like to do the most,like , it might be reading[you could meet someone at the library] or you might like the ocean and swimming [learn how to scuba dive, they have great members clubs] or any kind of sport. maybe there is something you and your sister both like to do so you can join something together, that might make it easier. When i was at school, i only made one good friend that i still have now. some times you only need one special friend. I don't think anything is wrong with you. I think there is a lot of people your age that feel exactly the same way. I was the same at school and still sometimes when i am feeling down i wonder why i don't have more friends. By the way, I am female, I just needed to use my husbands e-mail to join this members board as mine would'nt work. Good luck!

Hello. I know exactly what you mean, EXACTLY!! Having a friend actually helps this..but you have a problem with that, so do I..and the only friend I have never talks to me. In my class, it's hard for me to speak up, and I wonder why because everybody else seems to not have that problem.  

Speak up, I know it's hard to do but you have to make a move in some direction. Raise your hand in class and answer a question, something. And another thing is, most of the people in high school you wouldn't want to talk to anyway, all you need is ONE good friend..you're lucky if you have that. And all the people who probably think something bad about you and your sister, who cares. Rumors go around about everybody, if that's what you're talking about, don't sweat it. =)  

You will meet somebody, you're young..you have a long time for that.

Hey there, 

  

You sound like how I was in High School, except I did have a few friends.  I was very shy, had my nose in a book almost all day, and for a whole year no one talked to me at all, except to pick on me.  Anyway, it sounds like you aren't just shy, you aren't confident in yourself either.  What I suggest doing is finding something you are good at and excell in it.  Join some sort of group for whatever your passion is and you will most likely find some friends.  Even if they aren't in your school, they will still make a difference.  Believe me, the only way to overcome this is to put yourself out there.  I've been there.   

And you only have to be good enough to one person.  YOURSELF!  There is only one person in your life that HAS to like you.  YOURSELF!  If you don't have that confidence and acceptance, it will be noticed in the way you act, how others think of you.   

  

Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself. 

~Ceno =)