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Topic : Difficulty Forming Friendships

Number of Replies: 345
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:19:42 am
Author : dataimport
Do you have difficulty making or finding friends? Meet others like you and share your story.

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August 8, 2005, 9:24 am CDT

Mat

Quote From: candydealn

Dear DrPhil im 16 my and my my name is mat i have no life no firends. Let me tell you why... well at my last school i was bullied alot and like half the school new me and didint want a thing to do with me it was horrible and painfull. now that iv moved and live in a new house my life has cganged and im not bullied at my new school has much much has i was at my last school. but it still happens and its ussualy the dope addcitcs and stoners who bullie me wich makes up 60 percent of the school. at my new school one guy decided to litterale throw a chair at me in class while the techer went in a another room for a sec. All i do all day is sit in the house waching tv or playing on the computer. i dont have any firends becuase iv never relly had any iv had firends but thos frendships didint last that long. i never relly had firends so i dont know how to make firends that well. i dont know wat im going to if i stay in this house anylonger ill will go sico. when people ask me if i have firends which has happend. i dont know what to tell them ecept  that i have firends when i relly dont DrPhile i could use your help relly bad. i hope you read this message 

What would you like to do, if not playing on the computer or watching TV? I'm alot older than you, but I used to be known as shy, or even stupid in high school. I know school has changed quite a bit since I was there in the dark ages, but loneliness always feels the same. I don't think Dr Phil reads these boards, it's for people to contact others with questions or support. If you want to write to the doc, go up there to "Contact Dr. Phil."
 
August 14, 2005, 2:23 pm CDT

This is exactly what I meant

Quote From: towers2002

Petra

  First off  do you wear my shoes ?

do you how what my ups and downs are in life ?

 so how can you judge a person unless you deep in there shoe and walk the road they walk .

 let people feel sorry for you and agree  YOUR NUNTS IF YOUR THINKING THAT

NOPE IM NOT perfect AND No person is perfect ether but sound like you are .finding that special person

.well only GOD konw what is what not you .

special nope  im not  sorry . if this is dr.phil  then he bnetter put on my shoe befor he judge me .as for driving /money .around here if you dont have wheels you dont get around .

as for my  weaknesses well li had met some very nice lady here lots of times but like i said if you dont have wheels around here you are in a bind .

 i would love to tell you all more about me but well you already judge me so what can i say .i feel sorry for a person like you who can say stuff and not find out what a person is about .

 as for why i like a person for what they are on the in side and not what they are on the out side .is there heart /mind and what they beleave in

but you say stuff and not thinking what is this person like well i dont know what to tell you .

 

Let me first tell you, that I am in NO way trying to hurt your feelings, be cruel to you or am talking like I am miss Perfect. No one is. Just like you are making all these assumptions about me, you have no idea how my life has been, you haven't walked in my shoes, nor have you with any other person you meet. 

You read my message, which was only posted to HELP you, and make it out to be completely negative towards you, even hurtful and what not. Try to read my message, and any other message you get, with a positive view and you'll find people aren't just there to hurt you.  

Personally I don't think if by some miracle I was able to walk in your shoes for a certain time, I would feel differently. It's all about your view on life.  

Every person comes with a lot of baggage, a lot of experiences in life. But it's all about how you deal with those experiences. Life, like so many have said before, is NOT easy and we just have to deal with whatever comes our way. You can't pick the events and you can't sit down and just feel sorry for yourself because you seem to have gotten the 'worst life there is' in your opinion. Obsticals are there to cross. You find a way to deal with it, and if you can't have what you want, you learn to live without it. Life itself should be your greatest victory. YOU alone can make it the best (or worst) you can possibly can.  

Everyone struggles with this, and so do I. And with my words I am only trying to show you a different side of things.  

If you feel your view on things helps you in your life, then please keep this view. But if you are bored with it, think that it is getting you no where, then why not listen to what other people say. You don't have to agree with everything, you don't have to even follow their words and see for yourself. The only thing YOU need to do is decide what works for you.  

I'm thinking, since you got here on the board for help, you would want those opinions, wouldn't you? 

I'm sorry you think you are not special, that you haven't got something in you that makes you unique in life. In God's eyes, EVERYONE is special, everyone is unique. Why else would he have created us? Why else would he have let us live our lives, even though there are a lot that aren't doing what he is all about, that kill each other, that hurt each other?  

Why are you keeping the biggest compliment of God away from your heart? Even if you are not a believer in God, that notion alone should give you a more positive look on life. Everyone is unique.  

Petra 

 
September 4, 2005, 11:56 pm CDT

Friendship

I don't have too many friends and the reason is because I have a hard time trusting anyone. The friends I do have is a very special ones. I am lucky of having two friends but at the same time; I really don't need any friends because I am a loner like one of my friend which is probably why we are friends. I stick to myself which I have been doing since Middle School and will continue doing for the rest of my life as I see my future. I really don't trust women and I get along with men better than women. The one woman friend I do have is somewhat a tomboy which I consider myself as also.
 
September 9, 2005, 5:10 pm CDT

shy and no friends

My whole life, I have been extremely shy. At school, I didn't start talking to anyone until 2nd grade. Even, then it wasn't much. In middle school, I started to get out of the shyness a little bit. I got more friends. In high school, I was a little less shy. This past summer, I got my 1st job working in the concession stand at the pool. That helped me a little bit. Right now, I don't have anyone I can really call my friend. I have a twin sister, who is my best friend. But I need more than that. I feel like everyone I thought was my friend in the past, was just pretending.  I can't make friends. I just can't do it. I'm 16 years old.. I can't talk to people. What's wrong with me?! I feel so much different than everyone else. I hate lunch time/group things at school because that means me and my sister sitting by ourselves, thinking everyone is staring, thinking bad things. In class, I'm afraid to ask questions. I'm afraid of what everyone will think. I don't talk loud at school. It's very low.I'm just rambling, but I needed to get this out. Without friends, I feel imcomplete. When I think about this, I just want to cry. I tell myself I'm not good enough for anyone, no one likes me and never will. I don't know what to do...
 
September 10, 2005, 5:48 pm CDT

Difficulty Forming Friendships

Quote From: shayne289

My whole life, I have been extremely shy. At school, I didn't start talking to anyone until 2nd grade. Even, then it wasn't much. In middle school, I started to get out of the shyness a little bit. I got more friends. In high school, I was a little less shy. This past summer, I got my 1st job working in the concession stand at the pool. That helped me a little bit. Right now, I don't have anyone I can really call my friend. I have a twin sister, who is my best friend. But I need more than that. I feel like everyone I thought was my friend in the past, was just pretending.  I can't make friends. I just can't do it. I'm 16 years old.. I can't talk to people. What's wrong with me?! I feel so much different than everyone else. I hate lunch time/group things at school because that means me and my sister sitting by ourselves, thinking everyone is staring, thinking bad things. In class, I'm afraid to ask questions. I'm afraid of what everyone will think. I don't talk loud at school. It's very low.I'm just rambling, but I needed to get this out. Without friends, I feel imcomplete. When I think about this, I just want to cry. I tell myself I'm not good enough for anyone, no one likes me and never will. I don't know what to do...
hey...i dont have any advice to give cuz im going through the same crap right now. do u wanna talk on msn or something?
 
September 11, 2005, 5:44 am CDT

shy

Quote From: shayne289

My whole life, I have been extremely shy. At school, I didn't start talking to anyone until 2nd grade. Even, then it wasn't much. In middle school, I started to get out of the shyness a little bit. I got more friends. In high school, I was a little less shy. This past summer, I got my 1st job working in the concession stand at the pool. That helped me a little bit. Right now, I don't have anyone I can really call my friend. I have a twin sister, who is my best friend. But I need more than that. I feel like everyone I thought was my friend in the past, was just pretending.  I can't make friends. I just can't do it. I'm 16 years old.. I can't talk to people. What's wrong with me?! I feel so much different than everyone else. I hate lunch time/group things at school because that means me and my sister sitting by ourselves, thinking everyone is staring, thinking bad things. In class, I'm afraid to ask questions. I'm afraid of what everyone will think. I don't talk loud at school. It's very low.I'm just rambling, but I needed to get this out. Without friends, I feel imcomplete. When I think about this, I just want to cry. I tell myself I'm not good enough for anyone, no one likes me and never will. I don't know what to do...
It sounds to me like you are getting depressed over this. Have you tried thinking about the things you like to do the most,like , it might be reading[you could meet someone at the library] or you might like the ocean and swimming [learn how to scuba dive, they have great members clubs] or any kind of sport. maybe there is something you and your sister both like to do so you can join something together, that might make it easier. When i was at school, i only made one good friend that i still have now. some times you only need one special friend. I don't think anything is wrong with you. I think there is a lot of people your age that feel exactly the same way. I was the same at school and still sometimes when i am feeling down i wonder why i don't have more friends. By the way, I am female, I just needed to use my husbands e-mail to join this members board as mine would'nt work. Good luck!
 
September 11, 2005, 5:50 am CDT

shy

Quote From: shayne289

My whole life, I have been extremely shy. At school, I didn't start talking to anyone until 2nd grade. Even, then it wasn't much. In middle school, I started to get out of the shyness a little bit. I got more friends. In high school, I was a little less shy. This past summer, I got my 1st job working in the concession stand at the pool. That helped me a little bit. Right now, I don't have anyone I can really call my friend. I have a twin sister, who is my best friend. But I need more than that. I feel like everyone I thought was my friend in the past, was just pretending.  I can't make friends. I just can't do it. I'm 16 years old.. I can't talk to people. What's wrong with me?! I feel so much different than everyone else. I hate lunch time/group things at school because that means me and my sister sitting by ourselves, thinking everyone is staring, thinking bad things. In class, I'm afraid to ask questions. I'm afraid of what everyone will think. I don't talk loud at school. It's very low.I'm just rambling, but I needed to get this out. Without friends, I feel imcomplete. When I think about this, I just want to cry. I tell myself I'm not good enough for anyone, no one likes me and never will. I don't know what to do...
It sounds to me like you are getting depressed over this. Have you tried thinking about the things you like to do the most,like , it might be reading[you could meet someone at the library] or you might like the ocean and swimming [learn how to scuba dive, they have great members clubs] or any kind of sport. maybe there is something you and your sister both like to do so you can join something together, that might make it easier. When i was at school, i only made one good friend that i still have now. some times you only need one special friend. I don't think anything is wrong with you. I think there is a lot of people your age that feel exactly the same way. I was the same at school and still sometimes when i am feeling down i wonder why i don't have more friends. By the way, I am female, I just needed to use my husbands e-mail to join this members board as mine would'nt work. Good luck!
 
September 13, 2005, 6:48 pm CDT

I can relate..

Hello. I know exactly what you mean, EXACTLY!! Having a friend actually helps this..but you have a problem with that, so do I..and the only friend I have never talks to me. In my class, it's hard for me to speak up, and I wonder why because everybody else seems to not have that problem.  

Speak up, I know it's hard to do but you have to make a move in some direction. Raise your hand in class and answer a question, something. And another thing is, most of the people in high school you wouldn't want to talk to anyway, all you need is ONE good friend..you're lucky if you have that. And all the people who probably think something bad about you and your sister, who cares. Rumors go around about everybody, if that's what you're talking about, don't sweat it. =)  

 
September 13, 2005, 6:50 pm CDT

And another thing!

Quote From: cecelia

Hello. I know exactly what you mean, EXACTLY!! Having a friend actually helps this..but you have a problem with that, so do I..and the only friend I have never talks to me. In my class, it's hard for me to speak up, and I wonder why because everybody else seems to not have that problem.  

Speak up, I know it's hard to do but you have to make a move in some direction. Raise your hand in class and answer a question, something. And another thing is, most of the people in high school you wouldn't want to talk to anyway, all you need is ONE good friend..you're lucky if you have that. And all the people who probably think something bad about you and your sister, who cares. Rumors go around about everybody, if that's what you're talking about, don't sweat it. =)  

You will meet somebody, you're young..you have a long time for that.
 
September 14, 2005, 8:36 pm CDT

sound like me

Quote From: shayne289

My whole life, I have been extremely shy. At school, I didn't start talking to anyone until 2nd grade. Even, then it wasn't much. In middle school, I started to get out of the shyness a little bit. I got more friends. In high school, I was a little less shy. This past summer, I got my 1st job working in the concession stand at the pool. That helped me a little bit. Right now, I don't have anyone I can really call my friend. I have a twin sister, who is my best friend. But I need more than that. I feel like everyone I thought was my friend in the past, was just pretending.  I can't make friends. I just can't do it. I'm 16 years old.. I can't talk to people. What's wrong with me?! I feel so much different than everyone else. I hate lunch time/group things at school because that means me and my sister sitting by ourselves, thinking everyone is staring, thinking bad things. In class, I'm afraid to ask questions. I'm afraid of what everyone will think. I don't talk loud at school. It's very low.I'm just rambling, but I needed to get this out. Without friends, I feel imcomplete. When I think about this, I just want to cry. I tell myself I'm not good enough for anyone, no one likes me and never will. I don't know what to do...

Hey there, 

  

You sound like how I was in High School, except I did have a few friends.  I was very shy, had my nose in a book almost all day, and for a whole year no one talked to me at all, except to pick on me.  Anyway, it sounds like you aren't just shy, you aren't confident in yourself either.  What I suggest doing is finding something you are good at and excell in it.  Join some sort of group for whatever your passion is and you will most likely find some friends.  Even if they aren't in your school, they will still make a difference.  Believe me, the only way to overcome this is to put yourself out there.  I've been there.   

And you only have to be good enough to one person.  YOURSELF!  There is only one person in your life that HAS to like you.  YOURSELF!  If you don't have that confidence and acceptance, it will be noticed in the way you act, how others think of you.   

  

Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself. 

~Ceno =) 

  

 
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