Topic : Difficulty Forming Friendships

Number of Replies: 351
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:19:42 am
Author : dataimport
Do you have difficulty making or finding friends? Meet others like you and share your story.

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November 2, 2007, 8:44 am PDT

to mssylady1

Quote From: mssylady1

I am looking for friendships on the board.  I am a female over 50.  I have read Colin Powell's book, both of Barak Obama's books, Bill Clinton's book, books by Tavis Smiley, Tim Russert's book about his father and other books by political authors.  I enjoy vocal and instrumental jazz and my computer.  I enjoy making cards using my Hallmark program and sending cards to my family, friends and to our soldiers fighting in Iraq and Afganistan and those in the VA hospital near my home.

 

I love my grandchldren and enjoy talking with them even though they are across country from me.  I have anxiety problems and have a very difficult time leaving my home except for doctor appointments. I also have arthritis in both knees and need surgery but afraid to have the necessary surgery.  I am an attractive person, but overweight by nearly 100 lbs. 

 

I just want friends who are uplifting as I try to be to others.  I would love to have board friends who would just say "HI" and find out the person that I am.  I don't want to meet anyone, just board friends.  Do I have any one out there who might be interested in becoming a board friend.  And I don't mean male friends, I mean male or female board friends...FRIENDS!  So do I have any friends out there? 

 

I to was am like you. I'm 6'2 and always had problems making friends. I think it has to do with height. People I think are afraid of how tall I am. I got to the point, that I really don't care what people think of what I look like. I am a very likable person,fun,witty, and Irish.I just recently lost a very good friend of mine to brain cancer. And I guess as we get older, it is harder to find friends out there. And by the way, I'll be your friend!!

 
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frustrated
November 11, 2007, 9:57 am PST

FRIENDSHIPS BOTH MALE AND FEMALE

 WHY DO I SAY FRUSTRATED, BECAUSE FRIENDSHIP IS SUCH A HARD THING TO HAVE, YOU HAVE TO GIVE ALOT, SOMETIMES MORE THEN YOU WOULD IN A MARRIAGE, BECAUSE YOU WANT A FRIEND TO BE FOREVER, AND TO LOOK OVER ALL OF YOUR SHORTCOMINGS AND FLAWS, TO BE ABLE TO FORGIVE KNOW MATTER WHAT MISSTAKES YOU MAKE.  THATS THE PERSON WHO YOU CAN SHARE ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU,  YOUR FAILURES, YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS, AND YOUR LIFE DREAMS AND THEY HELP YOU MAKE DECISION ON THESE THINGS. 

FOR ME THAT PERSON WAS A SISTER THAT NOW IS WITH GOD IN HEAVEN AND EVER SINCE HER DEATH I HAVE NOT FOUND ANYONE WHO EVEN COMES CLOSE TO UNDERSTANDING ME AND MY FEELINGS OR VISA/VERSA.   ITS LIKE A GOODMAN THERE JUST IS NOT ENOUGH OF THEM AROUND AND WELL I QUESS  THE ONE I AM LOOKING FOR IS SOMEONE ELSES BEST FRIEND, WHY DO I SAY MALE OR FEMALE, BECAUSE I AM LOOKING FOR THAT BEST FRIEND ITHER MALE OR FEMALE, AND KNOW ITS WHATS INSIDE THAT COUNTS.  I AM 53 AND I BELIEVE THAT ITS ALWAYS HOPEFULL THAT YOU WILL FIND THAT FRIEND, ITS SOMETHING I LOOK FORWARD TO, AND YES I KEEP TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS.

WE HAVE TO INTERACT IF WE DONT WE CAN GO CRAZY NOT HAVING SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO US, EVEN IF ITS A PEN PAL ON THE SITE, ITS NICE TO COMMUNICATE AND SHARE LIKE FEELINGS, AND LIFE PLEASURES AND HEARTBREAKS AND ESP. OUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS EVEN SMALL ONES.

PATRICIA OUT

 
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November 29, 2007, 12:47 am PST

Hi Dani

Quote From: dani103

I know exactly how you feel..  I to am in the same situation - and feel rather down about not being able to make friends.  All the mom's at my kid's school also have friends of their own and are not interested in making new ones.

 

I am based in South Africa but, should you be willing to have a friend on the other side of the world, I'll be more than happy to be your friend..

 

All the best Dani... 

Just been reading the message boards and I am new to this!!!!!

 

I also understand what you all mean by people having enough friends and not needing an extra friend.  It is so difficult to establish meaningful friendships.

 

I am also based in South Africa and was very happy to see that you were too.  If you could do with another friend, I would be happy to hear from you.  Drop me an e-mail or send a message!

 

Trev

 
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December 4, 2007, 1:43 pm PST

Making new friends

    Lately I have been  reviewing my friends list, and have decided that most people I know are not people that I need to have around me or my family, and I have taken steps to brake up the friendships. But I have noticed also that I do not wish to meet any new people or make new friends, I feel that I am better off without getting to know people. I live on a military base and people are extremely back stabing and I just can't take it any more. It is like living thru your highschool years again, but never getting a chance to leave school  at the end of the day. I am usally a very friendly person and love to help others out,  but it seems that when you go out of your way for another , they take the first chance they think they can get at bringing you down... why is that, why are people so vindictive?   Has anyone else ever  felt the same way, that they are much better off  without a group of friends?

 
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December 6, 2007, 5:33 pm PST

How to keep good friend around you?

Hello: I am new on this site. I am 38 year old and married woman with no kids. I am happy, peaceful person in life in general. I am shy person by nature. I feel making friends in my area is hard work. I feel I have to make the effort calling them or e-mail to keep my name in their mind. People are always saying they are busy. And I say" Busy in what?"  Because I choose to not to have children in my life I feel I'm missing out in something because I'm not always busy. I have time for a lot things I like to do.

 

It funny I always feels I'm the only one feels this way or experiences and I notice people I just caught up on things in their life and missing out the fun part having friends around your circle of life.

 

That's my story!

 

Mercy

 

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December 6, 2007, 8:37 pm PST

Absolutely

Quote From: justasgtswife

    Lately I have been  reviewing my friends list, and have decided that most people I know are not people that I need to have around me or my family, and I have taken steps to brake up the friendships. But I have noticed also that I do not wish to meet any new people or make new friends, I feel that I am better off without getting to know people. I live on a military base and people are extremely back stabing and I just can't take it any more. It is like living thru your highschool years again, but never getting a chance to leave school  at the end of the day. I am usally a very friendly person and love to help others out,  but it seems that when you go out of your way for another , they take the first chance they think they can get at bringing you down... why is that, why are people so vindictive?   Has anyone else ever  felt the same way, that they are much better off  without a group of friends?

Absolutely!  People get what they can and then disappear.  I'm not interested in meeting people on one hand and want company in the other hand. ( I am learning to live independently)  I do think I will be better off relying on myself and being my own company, etc... 

 

I am kind of shy, but when I want to,  I give to a friendship and am very nice, etc...  I'm tired of being mistreated.   Charly

 
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December 25, 2007, 3:34 pm PST

BPD and Friendships

Hello ALL,

 

My name is Lisa (nik.Tigs) or Tiglibud if ya prefer that!  Whatever, makes no difference to me!  Anyhoo...saw this site like totally by accident.  Been click/click/click'n 'round lately on this here internet thing.  Started up in August.  Few weeks later dumped the Toxic Boyfriend...Aug 23rd...WHAT A WINNER, NOT!  Major Jerk!  So!  Anyways...

 

He comes back in October...and well!  I MEAN WELL!  WASN'T "THAT" special...INDEED NOT!

 

So...

 

So, I came on this here posting message board forums and attempted to find Friends, CALLED IT "QUEST FOR FRIENDS" ...well!  Let me enlighten ya's all...as since I have always found getting, keeping, and not freaking out friends... well!  WELL WELL NO WELL!

 

No, I mean...I am seriously Sick as a person!  Too bad!  Mainly I'm pretty cool to hang with!  But!  WOW ON THE PROBLEMS ALREADY!!!  hehehe

 

Let's see...Can't have or keep them things called friends because...

 

BECAUSE...

 

I have Borderline Personality Disorder

Bi-Polar

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Chronic Pain (TRUE STORY OF MURDER ATTEMPT)

ummmmmm?

Memory was busted up...too darn many kicks to my head (MEN! hehehe)

 

NO...I AM NOT TURNING LEZ!  I still really love the guys!  What can I say...???  Sucker for punishment?

 

OH!  That totally reminds me!  YES!  Got that SI behaviour issue also...That's short for "Self Injury"

 

Also referred lovingly by me as "Carving" ...or others as "Slashing" or others yet as "cutting"

 

What frigg'n Ever...HELPS ME COPE!

 

Okaaaaay....Best watch what I write eh?  Those darn guys with the "Clean white coats might knock on my door any day now!"  YIKES ON "THAT!"

 

Reminds me...hehehe ...When I was 15 years old YEP!  SPENT 11 full months in the ol'LPH  that's "London Psychiatric Hospital" ...I'm almost 41, so no worries...those are old horror stories now, and I like totally won't bore ya's with "THAT" nightmare!

 

OH!  YEP...That also!  "Night Terrors" ...YUCK AND DOUBLE YUCK ON THOSE!!!

 

Okaaaay!  SheeeeSh eh?  Can I get more?  OH YES I CAN! hehehe

 

Also got HEP C from Blood Transfusions...CRAP!

 

hehehe

 

HAVE I SCARED THIS FORUM OFF NOW ALSO? What does any of it matter, right?  Friends, No Friends...WHO CARES?  Well, kind'a in all honesty "I CARE!"  This is getting pretty sickly boring and lonely over on my end!  Know what I am trying to say?  Prolly not eh?

 

Okay...I'LL JUST LEAVE NOW...YEP!  That's prolly totally for the best...but I'll check in perhaps...or not...WHAT-EVER, hehehe

 

Post'ya ALL Later!  Maybe!

 
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December 26, 2007, 7:43 am PST

Your not alone Towers

Quote From: towers2002

hi

 why is it that its hard to find a girl friend to to love and be friends with and be happy ?

 im not good looking -disabe -can't see  or hear to good to drive or work . beleave me you would not want to be in my shoes .seem the ladys i meet only what one thing  money and sex and good looking man . i don't drink or smoke or take bad drugs .

 i dont even think dr.phil  ever talk about people like me who have a hard time finding the right one .

 in some ways i think he puts us down .sure there are man who are lazy and etc .but im not them .

   what i see in a person is what they are on the in side .and not what they look like on

the out side . same that the way lfe is here . but i keep going .becouse i know sooner or later there some one out there for me

.

Hey Guy!

 

You are totally NOT ALONE MAN!!!  Really!  I can relate like you got no idea!  I am not an ugly woman, but I end up with the worse kinds of men!  I am also disabled, and very messed up with mental health problem that are SUPER SCARY for most!  So, guess who I get?  Druggies, weird-o's and men that have abused me badly!  I recently dumped one in August and he returned  in October and tried to "OFF-me!"  What a loser!  Now, January I gott'a go into court and tell the stupid sorted tale to a judge and get this idiot off the streets so he can't hurt me, someone else or for that matter himself!

 

Anyways, I got tons to do here,so I gott'a run for now, but I'm posting here now..if ya need a friend, and just fyi  i  also have tons of FUN POSTING in a couple other sites with ezboard...come and be my pal..i can use good friends in my life!  Here's the places, if yer interested at all...LOOK ME UP, hehehe

 

http://p088.ezboard.com/bwww56024

 

http://p082.ezboard.com/bmenofwar

 
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December 26, 2007, 11:17 am PST

Good Stuff Charly

Quote From: charly31636

Absolutely!  People get what they can and then disappear.  I'm not interested in meeting people on one hand and want company in the other hand. ( I am learning to live independently)  I do think I will be better off relying on myself and being my own company, etc... 

 

I am kind of shy, but when I want to,  I give to a friendship and am very nice, etc...  I'm tired of being mistreated.   Charly

NOW THAT IS COOL ...Charly (boy?)  or is ya a woman? Sorry, but y'er nik "Charly" could actually go either way, and I post slightly differently with men over women...this avoids aukward stuff ...men need to be handled with a more buddy attitude on these post boards I am finding, or misunderstandings of the "ahem" kinds can occur!  Know what I am say'in?

 

So! Back to what ya said, SHY, WELL!  I can't say that about myself, but people usually don't hang with me for long on account of my "spells" ...hard to describe.  Anyways, I think it's admirable of you to be pushing yourself to be "independent" because I personally find it SUPPPPER HARD!  What-EVER!  I got it figured that if they don't wish to be around me, then "noth'n I can do to force them" ...so I let'em go...I have a friend on the outside ...her name is Michele, and she totally puts up with my crap!  GOOD STUFF!  but, shoot I've known her since like grade 9...and she's seen me through some seriously tough stuff!  Anyways, this is off my point totally now, hehehe

 

CRAP!!!   hehehe, sorry Charly, totally forgot my point...shoot!  Nevermind me then, hehehe

 

OMG!  Soooooo Sorry I am a bit messed up,silly me...I think that I wanted to try and convey a thinking that for me anyways...I have chosen "BAD men" because they would take care of some of my needs in exchange...and all I needed to do was allow them to hurt me, I DUNNO...that didn't come out sounding very normal, did it...can't allow men to hit women!  It's not "Right" ...so, I decided in August to ditch that crap, and all the other negative behaviours, GET A THERAPY DUDE ON MY SIDE...still working on the "Trust" and all that Jazzzzz, but ~I am hopefull~ You are very blessed to be so far in your independence struggles!  GOOD for you!  I hope this message made some sense to you Charly, sorry if my points were hard to comprehend ...Have A Wonderfully INDEPENDENT Life (gal/guy) ...Glad to read your posting, Good Stuff!

 

From silly me, TigLi, hehehe

 
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December 26, 2007, 11:26 am PST

Difficulty Forming Friendships

Quote From: mercy601

Hello: I am new on this site. I am 38 year old and married woman with no kids. I am happy, peaceful person in life in general. I am shy person by nature. I feel making friends in my area is hard work. I feel I have to make the effort calling them or e-mail to keep my name in their mind. People are always saying they are busy. And I say" Busy in what?"  Because I choose to not to have children in my life I feel I'm missing out in something because I'm not always busy. I have time for a lot things I like to do.

 

It funny I always feels I'm the only one feels this way or experiences and I notice people I just caught up on things in their life and missing out the fun part having friends around your circle of life.

 

That's my story!

 

Mercy

Mercy Me, hehehe ...you ARE A LUCKY WOMAN!  Good for you!  You use the words "Happy and Peaceful" when you describe yourself!  That is GRAND!  It gives my heart real warmth to know you are doing good in life, so what that you chose not to have kids, that is your choice, and nobody has the right to bugger with our personal choices!  If people are missing FUN, I personally think its their own darn fault!  Want FUN ?? GO AND GET SOME!  But, careful now, hehehe, DON'T DO WHAT I DONE, hehehe {evil giggles}

 

Nice ta read yer Post...Hope you post more soon!  Hugs!

 

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