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Topic : 12/28 Hobo Daddy

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Created on : Friday, September 21, 2007, 12:20:55 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/27/07) Jerry has been out of his daughter, Kayla's, life for 17 years – - by choice.  He went on the run to avoid paying child support, now lives as a hobo floating down the Mississippi River on a raft.  Kayla had no contact with Jerry until a couple of filmmakers decided to make a documentary about his life.  The film is called “Nobody,” and Kayla says it actually glorifies her deadbeat Dad. Learn what Jerry says in the film that is so repugnant to Kayla that she feels compelled to confront her father and set the record straight. Then, Dr. Phil takes you on an unusual search for the man who calls the Mississippi River his home. When the searchers meet Jerry face to face, is he ready for a confrontation with the daughter he hasn’t seen since she was a toddler? Hear why he says he stayed away when tragedy struck their family. Emotions run high when father and daughter face off. But will Jerry have the answers Kayla is looking for? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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September 22, 2007, 12:52 pm CDT

Pathetic

Quote From: ossmobile

Here in Canada the family court laws force a man to pay out so much money to the first wife a second family is in big trouble. Child support laws based on only one parent have 100% of the access. In Ontario the family courts are pushing many people to killing themselves.

Ontario is not changing a thing and even though the Supreme Court ruled the child support guidelines are out to lunch nothing changed. I raised my three kids without a penny coming from the mother and our courts here in Ontario are so corrupt I never even bothered talking here to court.

I can understand his actions and it doesn't mean he doesn't love his daughter. The courts just don't get it!!

Run Hobo run!!!

So you think it's okay that he "sold out" his children and ran to hide on the river? I think it's pretty pathetic!  I hope that the thoughts of how much money he DIDN'T have to pay out have been worth it for sacrificing the love and closeness of his children that he deserted!!!!!!  I guess he could've explained to Kayla that he didn't WANT to hurt her but DARN!  That money saved was just too tempting!  He's a disgrace!
 
September 22, 2007, 12:53 pm CDT

opiniated grandma

 Dr. Phil The only thing I got to say about this is WHY! Why is this man being givin any air time or publisity!He is just like O.J.He is a waste of paper and flim the only thing he should be givin is jail time for running! This poor girl has to endure the fact that this animal is getting something she never received and I think that any moneys paid out should go to her and not this thing! Hell if he's lived like this all these years he can finish out his worthless life doing waht he dose best HIDING! Thank You again for everything Peggy Tomlin
 
September 22, 2007, 1:16 pm CDT

Forgiveness Serves Self Better

I am the eldest of four children, abandoned by our father when I was 11 (1957). I remembered him best, and 25 years later I went in search of either a record of his death, or the father we hadn't seen for all those years. I found him, and much to my astonishment, one of his sisters - a staunch and professed Christian - had known where to find him for the entire time he was missing; yet, this same sister always talked down to us, and said if we really LOVED him, we would engage in a search to locate him.

I spent nearly all of my divorce settlement finding a man who wasn't really lost to HIS family, and a man who was a hopeless alcoholic - which is why he disappeared and never tried to contact any of his children; he believed we'd be better off not knowing him. Sadly, he was more right than wrong.

For ten years he struggled to be what he knew his children wanted him to be - sober - but my younger brother could never fogive him for leaving, and didn't have any qualms about saying so to Dad. So although the three of us had forgiven him and accepted that he'd left with good intentions (he couldn't hold a job because alcohol had a stronger hold than anything or anyone else, and he didn't want us to be teased at school for him being constantly arrested and thrown in jail for weeks at a time), our younger brother's attitude was a constant thunder cloud over the time we were altogether again.

Finally, Dad couldn't bare the hurt of staying sober any longer, nor our younger brother's unwillingness to accept him sober. So he killed himself, leaving a note saying if he couldn't be forgiven by all of us, life wasn't worth living, even though he'd tried to be the father he hadn't been capable of when we were all young and needed him.

I am thankful I was able to spend some adult time with Dad; I wish his demons hadn't been so great, and that we could all have shared my ability to forgive.

I don't think the child support should matter. What matters is being able to share some time with your loved one before it's too late for both of you. Punishing someone over and over doesn't make either one of you feel whole, and it can lead to horrible consequences from which there is no forgiveness and future time shared.
 
September 22, 2007, 1:43 pm CDT

09/27 Hobo Daddy

Quote From: juneray

My ex-husband was a hobo dad.  My former sister-in-law thought my ex was on the run from the law thinking that he had stolen funds from the casino where he had worked.  When she found out the secrecy no address and telephone number was to avoid child support she couldn't believe it.

 

These hobo dads don't have a foot to stand on because they send nothing.  Children live in that nothing vacuum that they create and they are emotionally scared and hurt for life.  If I had it to do all over again, I think I would fake being financially supported by the ex and would let my daughter know the truth when she was older and able to grasp that it is not the child that has done something wrong but a pathetic excuse of a man that leaves his child, his blood without food, water, shelter, and his love.

We don't live in Ontario.. and he hasn't paid a thing...
 
September 22, 2007, 1:46 pm CDT

Thank you!!

Quote From: peggytomlin

 Dr. Phil The only thing I got to say about this is WHY! Why is this man being givin any air time or publisity!He is just like O.J.He is a waste of paper and flim the only thing he should be givin is jail time for running! This poor girl has to endure the fact that this animal is getting something she never received and I think that any moneys paid out should go to her and not this thing! Hell if he's lived like this all these years he can finish out his worthless life doing waht he dose best HIDING! Thank You again for everything Peggy Tomlin

I REALLY enjoyed reading your comment!!!!! 

 

--Kayla

 
September 22, 2007, 2:16 pm CDT

Dead Beat Dads

Why is it that absent "fathers" think it's all about the child support money? My son is having a hard time wondering why his "father" isn't in his life. It's not about the money. It's about knowing who he is and building that relationship. Get real!
 
September 22, 2007, 2:52 pm CDT

Real daddy

I sort of feel sorry for Kayla and then again it may be best that he wasn't in her life.  It's like he was just the sperm donor and didn't want the responsibility of a father by some sort of support.  Should be an emotional situation.
 
September 22, 2007, 2:54 pm CDT

Just wait...

Quote From: peggytomlin

 Dr. Phil The only thing I got to say about this is WHY! Why is this man being givin any air time or publisity!He is just like O.J.He is a waste of paper and flim the only thing he should be givin is jail time for running! This poor girl has to endure the fact that this animal is getting something she never received and I think that any moneys paid out should go to her and not this thing! Hell if he's lived like this all these years he can finish out his worthless life doing waht he dose best HIDING! Thank You again for everything Peggy Tomlin
Wait until you see the WHOLE story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
September 22, 2007, 3:40 pm CDT

Is he the dad?

Has DNA testing been done to determine if he is really the biological father?
 
September 22, 2007, 4:06 pm CDT

who found who first and why

Has Kayla been searching  or did the staff of Dr Phil catch wind of this character .  If if it's the latter why drudge up something that may well have been laid to rest for the last many many years?? Or maybe Kayla did know that her father has been living along the Mississippi and needs this closure, it's okay if it is for her sake and not the sake of her mother or the Dr. Phil show, really what is it going to benefit.  Money does not buy happiness, it may just feed the egos and not necessarily heal and broken hearts.  Sometimes there can be real, honest reasons one does certain things throughout their life. It's not fair that judgement be the ruling of just skipping out on child support.  The now 15 minutes of fame may well be what there all looking for in the absence of 17 years of no financial support . Will this fix anything---might be worth watching!!
 
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