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Topic : 12/28 Hobo Daddy

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Created on : Friday, September 21, 2007, 12:20:55 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/27/07) Jerry has been out of his daughter, Kayla's, life for 17 years – - by choice.  He went on the run to avoid paying child support, now lives as a hobo floating down the Mississippi River on a raft.  Kayla had no contact with Jerry until a couple of filmmakers decided to make a documentary about his life.  The film is called “Nobody,” and Kayla says it actually glorifies her deadbeat Dad. Learn what Jerry says in the film that is so repugnant to Kayla that she feels compelled to confront her father and set the record straight. Then, Dr. Phil takes you on an unusual search for the man who calls the Mississippi River his home. When the searchers meet Jerry face to face, is he ready for a confrontation with the daughter he hasn’t seen since she was a toddler? Hear why he says he stayed away when tragedy struck their family. Emotions run high when father and daughter face off. But will Jerry have the answers Kayla is looking for? Join the discussion.

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September 22, 2007, 4:17 pm CDT

SO TRUE!

Quote From: gordee

Jerry is a loser, but to alot of things.  He lost out on family, marriage, his children.  He also lost out on his self.  He's given his whole life to alcohol and drugs and has made that his focus.  When he gave into that, he stopped living a life that mattered.  He's not the same person and even though Kayla met him for the first time really, the man she seen was not the man he ever use to be.  That person is gone and will never be known again.  I'm angry with Jerry for how he's done his chiildren and not parenting them.  He can't change what has happened, but he agreed to meet with Kayla about his leaving and it was a smack in the face for him to do that with telling all but the truth. He confused that with lies and she sure didn't deserve that as part of her understanding of the truth. It is ugly enough as it is,but he at least owed her that. I can't help but wonder if he intentually lied or is so messed up in his head that he also believed the things he said.  It was pointless to argue facts with him since I don't think he knows the facts really.  I hope though that Kayla was able to release alot of the anger and all that she has towards him.  She deserves to heal in spite of him helping with that or not.  He told her life was too short to live unhappy and even though that's agreeable, I can't help but wonder how life has to be even shorter to live so empty. 
You're so right about Jerry and I'm sorry for the way he has hurt you and Kayla and Micah. He'll have to answer for that one day, even if he doesn't have the SENSE to feel the guilt now!
 
September 22, 2007, 9:12 pm CDT

opiniated grandma

Dear Dr. Phil,I think this guy needs to be taken out to the very river he has called home for so many years and kinda dropped overboard!!!!!!!!! I just think It's horrible for him to receive any publisity for any of this.I also think that if there is any money's paid it should go to his child and maybe she can get the help she needs to live a more quaility of life! It's like all the pubbishity that O.J. is receiving It's wrong really wrong, he has done enough to his family without being rewarded for it! Someone should but a stop to that as well! Thank You again for all the help and issues that you bring forward to the press and the effort you try and right. But then again every wrong can't be made right!!!!!!!!!! Peggy Tomlin
 
September 23, 2007, 3:31 am CDT

What is your problem.........

Quote From: ossmobile

Here in Canada the family court laws force a man to pay out so much money to the first wife a second family is in big trouble. Child support laws based on only one parent have 100% of the access. In Ontario the family courts are pushing many people to killing themselves.

Ontario is not changing a thing and even though the Supreme Court ruled the child support guidelines are out to lunch nothing changed. I raised my three kids without a penny coming from the mother and our courts here in Ontario are so corrupt I never even bothered talking here to court.

I can understand his actions and it doesn't mean he doesn't love his daughter. The courts just don't get it!!

Run Hobo run!!!

No matter what the courts say or do it's still no reason to run and forget all about your family. Jerry is a dead beat no if ands or buts about it. There is NO excuses for what he did. You don't run out on your kids and then make a film glorifying yourself like you are some kind of saint! I can't believe you could side with someone like Jerry!!
 
September 23, 2007, 5:14 am CDT

09/27 Hobo Daddy

Quote From: tweaked

I am the eldest of four children, abandoned by our father when I was 11 (1957). I remembered him best, and 25 years later I went in search of either a record of his death, or the father we hadn't seen for all those years. I found him, and much to my astonishment, one of his sisters - a staunch and professed Christian - had known where to find him for the entire time he was missing; yet, this same sister always talked down to us, and said if we really LOVED him, we would engage in a search to locate him.

I spent nearly all of my divorce settlement finding a man who wasn't really lost to HIS family, and a man who was a hopeless alcoholic - which is why he disappeared and never tried to contact any of his children; he believed we'd be better off not knowing him. Sadly, he was more right than wrong.

For ten years he struggled to be what he knew his children wanted him to be - sober - but my younger brother could never fogive him for leaving, and didn't have any qualms about saying so to Dad. So although the three of us had forgiven him and accepted that he'd left with good intentions (he couldn't hold a job because alcohol had a stronger hold than anything or anyone else, and he didn't want us to be teased at school for him being constantly arrested and thrown in jail for weeks at a time), our younger brother's attitude was a constant thunder cloud over the time we were altogether again.

Finally, Dad couldn't bare the hurt of staying sober any longer, nor our younger brother's unwillingness to accept him sober. So he killed himself, leaving a note saying if he couldn't be forgiven by all of us, life wasn't worth living, even though he'd tried to be the father he hadn't been capable of when we were all young and needed him.

I am thankful I was able to spend some adult time with Dad; I wish his demons hadn't been so great, and that we could all have shared my ability to forgive.

I don't think the child support should matter. What matters is being able to share some time with your loved one before it's too late for both of you. Punishing someone over and over doesn't make either one of you feel whole, and it can lead to horrible consequences from which there is no forgiveness and future time shared.

Jerry REFUSED to get help at all!!  My children are NOT being around that kind of person. 

 

NOT sticking up for your father, but its glad to hear that he DID try!!!

 
September 23, 2007, 5:16 am CDT

09/27 Hobo Daddy

Quote From: brokenboots

Why is it that absent "fathers" think it's all about the child support money? My son is having a hard time wondering why his "father" isn't in his life. It's not about the money. It's about knowing who he is and building that relationship. Get real!

EXACTLY!

 

And the thing is.. he stopped paying child support and my mother never pursued it anyways.  And it's not liked he would work to pay it anyways... and it's not about that anyways.

 

But people don't get it... I guess.  LOL

 
September 23, 2007, 5:16 am CDT

09/27 Hobo Daddy

Quote From: 2boysdad

Has DNA testing been done to determine if he is really the biological father?
Ummm... I look just like him.. LOL
 
September 23, 2007, 5:20 am CDT

09/27 Hobo Daddy

Quote From: delishelly

Has Kayla been searching  or did the staff of Dr Phil catch wind of this character .  If if it's the latter why drudge up something that may well have been laid to rest for the last many many years?? Or maybe Kayla did know that her father has been living along the Mississippi and needs this closure, it's okay if it is for her sake and not the sake of her mother or the Dr. Phil show, really what is it going to benefit.  Money does not buy happiness, it may just feed the egos and not necessarily heal and broken hearts.  Sometimes there can be real, honest reasons one does certain things throughout their life. It's not fair that judgement be the ruling of just skipping out on child support.  The now 15 minutes of fame may well be what there all looking for in the absence of 17 years of no financial support . Will this fix anything---might be worth watching!!

It's a long story.. and the show hasn't aired, so I don't want to give it away.  When you watch it, you'll see why I wanted to confront him!!!!!!!!  EXACTLY WHY!!!!!!!

I got ahold of them to help me find him.  I did know he was homeless... a couple film makers made a movie about him, glorifying his life style.  I'm an adult and it was my decision.. not my mothers, not Dr. Phils. 

Think of it this way.. I've been SILENT for 17 yrs..  I think it's my turn to finally speak up, is it not? 

And why the heck do people think I want his money?  WHAT MONEY!???  Do  you think you get paid for being homeless?  What the heck people, get real!!!!!  I HAVE MY OWN MONEY, I'm a nurse, I don't need his beer money for the day, he can keep that.

Just watch the whole story before you guys start sticking up for this pathedic individual... Did you ever wonder why HIS SON wasn't shown in the previews of this show............................................................

 

 

 
September 23, 2007, 5:23 am CDT

09/27 Hobo Daddy

Quote From: peggytomlin

Dear Dr. Phil,I think this guy needs to be taken out to the very river he has called home for so many years and kinda dropped overboard!!!!!!!!! I just think It's horrible for him to receive any publisity for any of this.I also think that if there is any money's paid it should go to his child and maybe she can get the help she needs to live a more quaility of life! It's like all the pubbishity that O.J. is receiving It's wrong really wrong, he has done enough to his family without being rewarded for it! Someone should but a stop to that as well! Thank You again for all the help and issues that you bring forward to the press and the effort you try and right. But then again every wrong can't be made right!!!!!!!!!! Peggy Tomlin

HA HA HA

 

I don't want his money, or anyones!!!  I'd rather live in a homeless shelter (WITH MY KIDS... I won't leave them like he did) then accept a DIME from his worthless self.  And people dont' get that... If I wanted all the money he owed me and my mother, he'd be in a jail cell right now.. Trust me. 

 
September 23, 2007, 6:00 am CDT

IT'S SAD

It's sad that someone can just up and leave their family.. Not to mention the rest of the story.. and that's the main reason I was there!  FOR SOMEONE WHO COULDN'T BE THERE!!!!!!!!! 

 

Jerry - 2 children, 4 grandchildren, a whole family he don't even bother to check up, didn't even know his dad died until a long while after...  Didn't bother to go to his dads or not to mention someone else who should have been VERY important to him, didn't even bother to go to their funerals... And for someone who can DO A FREAKIN RE-ENACTMENT OF FINDING OUT THAT YOU SON DIED, THAT'S JUST FREAKIN SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
September 23, 2007, 6:39 am CDT

Huh?

Quote From: delishelly

Has Kayla been searching  or did the staff of Dr Phil catch wind of this character .  If if it's the latter why drudge up something that may well have been laid to rest for the last many many years?? Or maybe Kayla did know that her father has been living along the Mississippi and needs this closure, it's okay if it is for her sake and not the sake of her mother or the Dr. Phil show, really what is it going to benefit.  Money does not buy happiness, it may just feed the egos and not necessarily heal and broken hearts.  Sometimes there can be real, honest reasons one does certain things throughout their life. It's not fair that judgement be the ruling of just skipping out on child support.  The now 15 minutes of fame may well be what there all looking for in the absence of 17 years of no financial support . Will this fix anything---might be worth watching!!
I found your comment a little confusing... not sure what you meant in some places. Anyway, Kayla began looking for her father when a film company "stumbled across" him and did a documentary about his life, seeming to glorify him. Kayla wanted to find him to set the record straight about some of the (many) lies he told in the film,  She was there -  NOT for "15 minutes of fame", as you called it - but to stand up for herself and for her brother who is no longer here to do it.  I don't know what it's all about to Jerry cause I don't think he has many brain cells left to figure out WHAT is going on but it definitely was part of a healing process for Kayla.  It was never just about the child support...... more about his responsibility to LOVE and CARE for his children!!!!!!!!!
 
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