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Topic : 12/28 Hobo Daddy

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Created on : Friday, September 21, 2007, 12:20:55 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/27/07) Jerry has been out of his daughter, Kayla's, life for 17 years – - by choice.  He went on the run to avoid paying child support, now lives as a hobo floating down the Mississippi River on a raft.  Kayla had no contact with Jerry until a couple of filmmakers decided to make a documentary about his life.  The film is called “Nobody,” and Kayla says it actually glorifies her deadbeat Dad. Learn what Jerry says in the film that is so repugnant to Kayla that she feels compelled to confront her father and set the record straight. Then, Dr. Phil takes you on an unusual search for the man who calls the Mississippi River his home. When the searchers meet Jerry face to face, is he ready for a confrontation with the daughter he hasn’t seen since she was a toddler? Hear why he says he stayed away when tragedy struck their family. Emotions run high when father and daughter face off. But will Jerry have the answers Kayla is looking for? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 18, 2008, 12:33 pm CDT

12/28 Hobo Daddy

Today this show was on in the Netherland.

It made me really sad. I do think Jerry was very hurt by the thing his daughter sad.

Sure it was really bad to leave your children behind.

But what if it is true that his wife cheated on him?

My mother had cheated on my dad, and that was terrible.

Luckily for my brother and me, my dad went to the Lord with all his troubles. ( my parent did get back together after a while)

I guess Jerry found conferred in booze.

Pain and alcohol makes people do stupid things.

But I really don’t think that Jerry is a bad man, I saw a lot of emotions in his eyes.

Maybe his daughter should listen to his side of the story to (beside her mothers side).

 

 
July 14, 2008, 1:26 pm CDT

12/28 Hobo Daddy

Quote From: fromthesquare

Maybe the sound was off  your TV set at the beginning of the show?

Jerry's own brother stated that Jerry told him he was going on the run to avoid paying child support

I know that you have some romantic idea about a mentally ill man who just couldn't cope with reality.  No one on the show- not Dr. Phil, Jerry's brother or Jerry himself said this. 

 

If you listened to the show this time you will hear what you missed:

He never apologized for not being there for his kids physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially...

He never told Kayla that he loved HER only that Micah was his world- how nice.

He never offered to get counseling and try to be there for her now.

 

He did bad mouth the woman who raised his children and financially supported them.

He did defend his bad choices. 

 

 

His own brother said Jerry has a great life.  He comes and goes when he pleases.   Those children are the ones who suffered.  How about some sympathy for them?  Tell the daughter that she was full of anger- duh!  I wonder why?  Could it be the man chose a life on the lam rather than pay child support?  I am not saying anyone should attack Jerry.  But should we erect a statue in his honor? 

 

"He never told Kayla that he loved HER only that Micah was his world-how nice"

Ummm really would you LOVE that brat on the show????
For your other comment. I lived with Drug accidents. And NO I never touched drugs NEVER!
Also I never put all the faults of my family on my parents and thier Choices. The fact of the matter is. Her mother kicked him out. So he left. his daugther wanted nothing to do with him so he stayed away. I personally think [along with many people that watched] The blame is MORE if not all on The daughter and Mother for the death of the Son. They we're the ones there!
 
July 22, 2008, 10:08 am CDT

Nobody...

This show wasn't on tv in Holland until today. I just saw it and I have to say:

I feel sorry for Jerry.

I know that it must be hard for Kayla to accept the fact that her brother shot herself. But she needs to understand that ALWAYS the responsability is with the person who pulled the trigger.
And maybe the circumstances with the father may have contributed to his state of mind. But STILL it was Micah's decision to pull the trigger and end his life.

Jerry is like a big kid. It is always the most sensitive, the softest and sweetest people that get hooked on drugs or alcohol. I don't mean to talk right for him pulling out of his childrens lifes. He made a wrong choice by becoming a father probably. But Kayla and her children thank their lifes to that decision.

Kayla seemed bitter and hateful. She needs to let go of her hatred and understand that everyone has the responsability of their own life. No body is to blame for your own misery, because you are the one that decided to hold on to the pain. And I know it isn't easy but it is important for her to broaden her mind and see things in a bigger perspective other than blaming her father for all the pain and misery that happened to her and her brother.
 
July 22, 2008, 10:16 am CDT

hobo daddy

i dont think the guy is a loser, yeah he made some mistakes but i mean he's just living the life that he wants to live. and im not saying thats the right way but, if he'd just pay for his kids then it'll be alright. ok his son died and he desided not to go to the funeral but THATS HIS ONWE CHOICE ! there's no rule or law that says you have to do so ! jerry seems like a nice guy with a big heart to me. i dont think that this is what he wanted to happen but he cant change it no more. it happend and ya'll need to get over it but not in this way ! dont talk like that to him, i mean he's youre dad ! have a litlle respect. and the girl is really making me mad. i understand she's mad but dont treat him that bad. he's like almost cryin. and the part were she starts smiling is when she knows she hurt him. i think she's just really trying to hurt him for what he has done to her. but its been 17 years ... GET OVER IT ! the girl doesnt even know him personally cause she hasnt seen him in 17 years so she doesnt know what she talkin about. btw she's sooo arrogant !

 
September 2, 2008, 8:08 pm CDT

fair go

I have just seen this episode and have never written on one of these messageboards before but felt so compelled. I feel bad for what kayla and her family had to deal with when Jerry left them I completely empathize but on the other hand we always tell people to do what makes them happy in their lives and in that respect Jerry is the person we all want to be. With his alcoholism and drug use maybe he did that best thing he couldve by leaving his family, their lives may be ultimately better without him. As far as Mika's death is concerned how dare Kayla and family even "partly" blame Jerry. Who is to say that he wouldnt have felt like he had another option other than suicide even if Jerry was around. And who is to say that he wouldnt have become involved with drugs if it wasnt for his alleged drug use with Jerry when he was younger... And even though Kayla says that Jerry didnt know Mika like the rest of the family did obviously the one thing they all have  in common is that they didnt know how far gone Mika was to take his own life. It is sickening for them to even indirectly blame Jerry for Mika's suicide or anyone for anyones choice to end their own life.
 
September 2, 2008, 9:19 pm CDT

I UNDERSTAND KAYLA

Quote From: zoeffiej123

i dont think the guy is a loser, yeah he made some mistakes but i mean he's just living the life that he wants to live. and im not saying thats the right way but, if he'd just pay for his kids then it'll be alright. ok his son died and he desided not to go to the funeral but THATS HIS ONWE CHOICE ! there's no rule or law that says you have to do so ! jerry seems like a nice guy with a big heart to me. i dont think that this is what he wanted to happen but he cant change it no more. it happend and ya'll need to get over it but not in this way ! dont talk like that to him, i mean he's youre dad ! have a litlle respect. and the girl is really making me mad. i understand she's mad but dont treat him that bad. he's like almost cryin. and the part were she starts smiling is when she knows she hurt him. i think she's just really trying to hurt him for what he has done to her. but its been 17 years ... GET OVER IT ! the girl doesnt even know him personally cause she hasnt seen him in 17 years so she doesnt know what she talkin about. btw she's sooo arrogant !

I am from Australia and I felt compelled to respond to some of these coments.

Why do people base their opinions soley on what someone says and what feelings they show? This man showed feelings of remorse and empathy while the daughter showed feelings of anger and bitterness, So why does that make her the bad guy? Her father abandoned her (by his own choice) and her brother commited suicide (do you know what its like to lose a family member to suicide?). So her anger towards her father is fully understandable (even though I dont believe he is to blame for the suicide). What has she ever done wrong? Telling her to get over it just because its been 17 years....what an imature and narrow minded response. Let me tell you that there are people who have suffered sexual abuse, loss and other horrible events who still have not gotten over it many years later. Try telling them to get over it. TIME DOES NOT HEAL ALL WOUNDS! Thats just a myth. And anybody who thinks that is just really clueless in my opinion.

Just because the father is sorry does not make what he did ok. I am so sick of people making excuses for their behaviour e.g I am not perfect..bla bla bla. This type of logic can be used (and has been used) for anybody who has made "mistakes" (even Hitler can use this logic - not that I am saying this man is like him). The least thing this man can do is ADMIT his errors and stop making excuses for them. Maybe then the daughter may be able to see that he does GET IT.

To the daugher (if you are still reading this): this man is not going to change, this man is who he is and thats just reality. What you need to do is let it go, not for his sake but for your own. Hopefully you will come to the stage where you will stop being angry at him and start feeling pity for him as he has not lived a life worth being proud of. You need to create that for your own children, you need to appreciate them and the people who care for you. You need to tell yourself that although my father has really hurt me in that past, that hurt will not go on, I will refuse to carry it with me forever. And then start to feel happy that you will experience great times with your children that he will never understand. He is missing out of the most important things in life, not you.

I hope this helps!




 
September 3, 2008, 4:13 pm CDT

give him a break

We just watched this story today in OZ.  I am surprised Kayla bothered even to bring her dad, if she did not care for him.  And whats with the ex-wife, looks like she hasnt let go either.  Leave him alone and move forward with your lives.  To me they look like bitter women who live in the past and neglect the present and future.  Theres lot to be had in life, he's made his choices, you go make yours.
 
September 3, 2008, 5:13 pm CDT

get a life

Leave Jerry alone. He was hunted down by Dr Phil's crew at his daughter's request, why, just so she can berate him in public.  And what good does it do for anybody. Absolutely zilch. The mother is responsible here, shifting all her baggage and bitterness which now consumes her daughter.  My mum was a single mum, but brought us all right.  Times were tough, but she made sure that we did not lack love and support and became productive individuals who gave back to society.

With the son who died, that was a tragedy. happens also to the best of families, whether your father is a hobo or a judge, depression cuts through socio economic lines. They are so quick to blame Jerry who was not there, what about them who were there the whole time? Kayla you think its fun to do that to your hobo dad in public, do we care? It shows you up girl, big time. And to the mother, you have done a great diservice to your daughter, shame on you. Look at what a wreck she has become, vengeful, spiteful and full of hatred. Move forward girls, move forward.

 

 
September 5, 2008, 1:49 am CDT

message from Australia

I live in Australia and we only saw the show this week.

I was amazed that Kayla would even think that Jerry was going to admit something that he didn't know anything about.

Kayla has a very big problem of not being able to forgive, her body language told the story that she wasn't going to believe anything that was said.

Glori her mother must realise that it takes two to make a relationship, you can't change someone, I found out this myself.

there is an old saying that " You can take a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

Jerry didn't force Micah to do the things that he did, you have to be responsible for your actions.

I thought Jerry behaved in such a calm manner, that I think he has found peace with himself.

I hope that Kayla and Glori can too.

 
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