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Topic : 10/02 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp Newlyweds, Part 3

Number of Replies: 95
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Created on : Saturday, September 29, 2007, 09:04:43 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Three newlywed couples in trouble continue their work in The Dr. Phil House. John and Karla, Jim and Kim, and Jack and Danielle all say that Dr. Phil’s man camp for newlyweds is their last hope before they call it quits. Even though they’ve all been married for less than a year, they already believe that verbal abuse, 911 calls and physical fighting is normal for their marriage. Dr. Phil says this group is one of the most dramatic he’s seen -- drinking, threatening to leave, pointing fingers at each other and fighting about ridiculous topics. With intense exercises and tasks, can these couples rein in the juvenile behavior to focus on fixing the problems? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 2, 2007, 4:21 pm CDT

How do you know when someone like JACK is being sincere or manipulative?

At this point, some people don't trust him thinkng he's playing his manipulative strings again...Others are giving him the benefit of the doubt.

 

Just how does one know?

 
October 2, 2007, 4:46 pm CDT

Am I watching my life

While watching todays show, I kept seeing myself in both Kim and Danelle.  I think Kim is mad at herself.  I know I am.  Whenever I am feeling really mad at myself for being stupid or feeling like a failure, I do the same thing she did.  I give the antaginizer the answer they want.  She said she is a bad mother, but I don't believe she is, she gave Jim the answer he wanted.  I can't explain why women like us do this.  Sometimes I think if I just put myself down, the person will be happy and leave me alone.  But behind all the yelling and put downs I feel even worse.  I want to be liked by people, don't we all. I just don't know how to make everyone happy.  I keep thinking wouldn't be enough to be happy with myself, but then I wonder if that is selfish.  Danelle is really scared of Jack.  When Dr. Phil asked her if maybe the right man could be around the next corner, I started to cry.  I wonder that about my life all the time.  The man I live with is so much like Jack.  Everything I told him in convidence when we first got together, is now being thrown back in my face.  He seems to like to use the things that hurt the most.  When I ask why, he says he is only being honest, and isn't that what he should do.  He seems so clueless.  I don't know if he really is or not.  I keep hoping that maybe he will see himself in some of the abusers on the show and wake up.  In the mean time I try to improve myself by learning from what I see

 

 
October 2, 2007, 4:55 pm CDT

Doctor House Part Phil Show Three.

Camp Doctor House Man Newly Part Phil Three Weds. Who is the couple anyway? I donot know them at--

all. See you tomorrow  Afternoon. Sincerley Your. Russell 

 
October 2, 2007, 5:02 pm CDT

Whats the secret????

I had to miss the show today to take my husband to the airport and unfortunately it doesn't air here again.  I If there was one show I was ever looking forward to it was this one.

 

Thanks

 
October 2, 2007, 5:19 pm CDT

Doctor House Part Phil Show Three.

Camp Doctor House Man Newly Part Phil Three Weds. Who is the couple anyway? I donot know them at--

all. See you tomorrow  Afternoon. Sincerley Your. Russell 

 
October 2, 2007, 5:20 pm CDT

10/02 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp Newlyweds, Part 3

I can't believe these couples are married to each other. What the hell went on before they decided to tie the knot (noose) in their cases? If they are fighting this bad after such a short period, what did they see in each other? I lived with a man like Jack for 22 years until I finally said "enough of this crap" and packed up and left. We never had kids together,. thank God but it still took me 22 years to finally realize I was worth better and he needed help. I left on Aug 6th of 2000 and moved 400 miles away so I could clear my head and body of all the toxic waste he had covered me with from all his abuse. I moved back to my home town Feb 5th of 2001 and Aug 16th of that year I met the man of my dreams. He treats me like a queen and I treat him like a king, we love one another and when we have a problem, we sit down and discuss it like two adults and then we carry on.  I don't think any of these couples are ready for marriage because they all have too much baggage  from their pasts that they are using to hurt one another. I think they all need intensive counselling for a long time before they will make another person happy. They are all so one sided, me me me . Danielle, you have to get away from Jack before he destroys you, I've been there and I know what you're going through. The pain on your face is so obvious. Please don't be like me and waste 22 years of your life with some-one like him. You deserve the best, so do some soul searching and decide if you want to be controlled forever or be IN controll forever of your life.

Good Luck Girl.

 
October 2, 2007, 5:44 pm CDT

Man camp for newlweds

This was a very sad show to watch.  I've been through it and it brought back memories I don't like to recall.  Why do men need to belittle their wives or girlfriends so badly?  Are they so insecure that they want to make others feel subhuman to make themselves feel superior? 
 
October 2, 2007, 5:48 pm CDT

Jack is tame compared to...

Quote From: momakababe

you need to help get that woman out of there.  There is no "helping the couple" or him.  Here is some reading for you http://www.lundybancroft.com/pages/articles.html  According to Lundy Bancroft if there is an abuser who is attending couples threapy it will more than likely do more harm than good.  Abusive men are normally emotional batterers as well and that's how it normally starts.  for them to go to "therapy" they would just take what the therapist is suggesting & use it against their victim &/or he's just being armed with more reasoning for her to stay "I'm working on all this & going to therapy etc. you just want to throw in the towel" etc. etc.  They're master manipulators & in couples counseling they're just given phycological jargin to spin more of an arguement with & to use to confuse their victim &/or have their victims thinking it's their fault & they deserve it etc.  Many abusers actually look to go to couples counseling to re-enforce their position & re-enforce what they think it "wrong with you" the victim.  If you're telling then what they don't want to hear or you don't re-enforce their position they'll move on to the next therapist/counselor.   
You are absolutely 100% correct! Thank you for your valuable information, link and opinion. Unfortunately I have tried (others have too) to get her out of there. She keeps going back. We can't force her to stay away from him. I have successfully helped rescue several women from abusive relationships. This is why Dr. Phil is tough on the victims too because he wants to make sure they don't go back. Dr. Phil did a wonderful job talking to Danielle today and standing up to Jack on Danielle's behalf. Although I am no longer in that line of work I am actually willing to help them get on the show if Dr. Phil and staff would agree to have them on. I'm not sure how we would go about it but Dr. Phil has dealt with his type before. (even worse I'm sure). She is just like Danielle and wants so desperately to believe that he wants to change. I saw something in Jack's eyes and attitude by the end of the show that wasn't there before. I think Dr. Phil got through to him. I would take the time and energy needed to help this couple get to man camp. Thanks again for your opinion. I pray it helps people see abusers and enablers for who they are and rescue themselves from their own demise. Dr. Phil did a superb job with the couples today. I really wish this couple I know could get the same.
 
October 2, 2007, 7:19 pm CDT

Hey, DANIELLE

Tell him to go.  You are married to a child.  He will not and cannot grow up as long as he is with you.  That is why he wanted to marry you, so he could remain a child.  If he ever grew up, he would not be with you, he would be with someone who demanded he be a man.

You are really a beautiful woman, and you don't even know that.  You are sensitive and caring, and wasting it on someone that treats you like dirt.  HE WILL ALWAYS BULLY YOU -- A L W A Y S.

I have been you.  I have been afraid to speak my true feelings, living in fear of violence. constant beratement and degradation for seven years.  So was my mother.  I was so cut off from people and my self esteem so non existant that I thought like you, I sat like you, I made the excuses for his behavior just like you, I held my head low just like you.  He was drawn to you because of your low self esteem, and he will do everything in his unconscious power to keep your head down.

I was you twenty years ago, and now when I look back it's like remembering a bad dream.  People that know me cannot believe I was ever that person.  It took lots of therapy to teach me to love myself, but I stayed with it and I made straight A's!  The people in my life love me, and it is because I wouldn't have it any other way.  Thank God. Get your girl on Danielle, and get him out of your life.

 
October 2, 2007, 8:26 pm CDT

Sociopath-etic!!!

Danielle is a beautiful woman with the hollow eyes and face of a woman trapped in a concentration camp.   It is not the Dr. Phil house---it is her marriage.   That vampire is sucking the life out of her!

 

Danielle, look in the mirror.  Do you ever smile?

You deserve better than what you have.   I almost vomited to watch him work the crowd.  Dr. Phil was amazing at calling him on his stupid, manipulative behavior.     That packed suitcase was a prop!  He never intended to leave!    He LOVES it when you trail after him, like a hungry dog,  begging for a bone.

You hand over your personal power continuously and wonder why you feel empty!

 

When you have starved long enough, and your heart is gnawing for some recognition, you will have the strength to tell him to GET THE HELL OUT OF YOUR LIFE!    He is quicksand, sucking you downward.

He feeds off of your dying spirit like road-kill.   There is not much left.

 

Read more about sociopaths.   They have no feelings or conscience.   They are incapable of loving.

The only reason you are staying in this dead relationship is because you want to BELIEVE you are lovable.

 

Believe us:  YOU ARE.    He is not.   He will never change.  NEVER.   He is an actor (a bad one) with tears!

You are smarter than he is; show it.    Tell him you are not so desperate to settle for his crumbs.

 

I am not criticizing you. 

I am you---I suffered through a 35-year marriage to a sociopath (surgeon).   I left; now I smile!  So will you!

 
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