My husband had major surgery and I am happy to report that he is now well on the road to recovery. I have also added "grandmother" to my list of titles.
For me I believe some good has come from seeing the story of Sarah and Carrie. Their story has confirmed some of my suspicions about my own problem. For many years I have believed my biggest problem from being stalked by a serial killer is that the mental health profession does not understand my problem well enough to help me deal with it. I still believe this is a major part of my problem. But, why should the mental health profession's lack of understanding cause me such concern when I live a very normal and in many ways good life?
My professional expertise is not in psychology, financial accounting, or law. But, since I wrote here last, because of Sarah's and Carrie's story, I pulled out my old college accounting text book. I looked in a chapter on assets. Assets are things of value that a business or person own. A section within this chapter was titled "Intangible Assets." This section listed three types of intangible assets. They are patents, copyrights, and goodwill. This textbook said that intangible assets can be considered to have asset or monetary value that can be listed on financial statements. Since then I have done some reading about copyrights.
Although I am no expert on copyrights, apparently a person owns a copyright on most things he or she creatively produces. This could include paintings, photographs, music, video tapes, audio tapes, and most creative writing such as letters, journals, articles, and even what is written here. Therefore it would appear that most of us own a lot of material for which we have copyright. From Christmas letters to family home videos most people own copyrights for material that probably has little monetary value.
I think the problem comes when the copyright material we own may have significant monetary value. That monetary value could come from having an interesting story and especially if that story is part of an already high profile story. Therefore if a person, like Sarah or me, puts his or her story into a copyrightable form, that material can have significant monetary value.
Prudent people realize the importance of managing their assets wisely. Assets like money need to be protected from criminals and invested wisely. Real estate assets need to be well maintained. Wills need to be properly drawn up and, upon death, executed so that assets are distributed to the chosen heirs without conflict.
From this I realize problems like Sarah's and mine have at least two sides. One side is the mental health problems. I have previously written about the mental health side on this message board. But, another side is the asset value. Recognizing and prudently managing this asset value is probably a big part of the problem.
Most people who have assets have worked hard for these assets or at least have been thankful to receive them as an inheritance, a gift, or a prize. But, being the victim of a serial killer is not something a person usually chooses or appreciates. The "Serentiy Prayer" says that a person should accept what they can not change.Therefore even if it was not chosen or appreciated, accepting this asset for what it is and dealing with its reality is probably the best choice. The reality of this asset is that, like other assets, it probably requires prudent management.
Therefore to prevent problems like the ones shown in the conflict between Sarah and Carrie, in addition to proper mental health treatment, recognizing and appropriately dealing with the asset value of the story is probably also necessary. Problems like Sarah's and mine need competent professional help from not only mental health professionals but also legal and financial professionals. Certainly competent mental health professionals can help help deal with mental health issues. But, I also believe mental health professionals can refer clients to other appropriate professionals like attorneys or financial advisors. This is probably what needs to happen in situations like Sarah's and mine. This type of help would seem prudent as prevention before problems similar to those of Sarah's and Carrie's develop.
I want to give an example from my family. My parents, who are gone now, owned a small family farm. In my parents' later years it was their largest asset. When they had to leave their farm they made a deal with one of my siblings to take over the farm. Because my parents recognized the monetary value of the farm and the potential for conflict they carefully planned and carried out the sale. They employed legal and financial professionals to make sure the sale was done properly and would not creat future problems. The result was that there was never any problems about it. My point here is that a valuable intangible asset like a unique story probably needs the same prudent management as the sale of the family farm, even when the deal is between cooperatin relatives.
I also believe most successful people want to shape the legacy they leave. That is another area of concern in this situation that probably needs to be addressed by mental health professionals. Both issues, the asset value and the legacy, were totally absent from the response I got from the counselors I consulted for my problem. Also I do not think Dr. Phil properly addressed either of these issues when he worked with Sarah and Carrie.
Finally, I suspect that many people have stories and other intangible assets that may be valuable. Some of these intangilbe assets, like mine, probaly come with a lot of emotional baggage while others do not. Problems similar to Sarah's and mine may be more common than we realize. Professionals including specialists in mental health, law, and finance should consider what is happening in cases like these so they can help cllients deal with similar cases appropriately.
(Original Air Date: 10/03/07) Hating your own mother is hard to imagine, but today’s guests say they want nothing to do with the women who gave them life. Dr. Phil speaks with feuding mothers and daughters. Nineteen-year-old Megan says her mom, Tracy, is nothing but her egg donor. Megan has been singing since she was a child and is now a rising star in the music industry, but she says all she wants is for her pushy stage mom to butt out of her life. Tracy says Megan’s record deal is the worst thing that ever happened because it turned her sweet daughter into a stereotypical rock-and-roll singer who’s into sex, booze, drugs and rebellion. Can this relationship be saved? Then, Carrie calls her mother, Sarah, the “spawn of Satan.” Carrie wrote a book about Sarah’s real life near-death experience at the hands of a serial killer. Now the mother and daughter are fighting over who owns the rights to this compelling page-turner. Will they heal their relationship so that the book can get published? Talk about the show here.
