Topic : 01/01 Mama Drama

I think as always you have shown just how sad it is when a Mother and Daughter relationship, even

in the midst of trials can be so devestating.  I just hope that these daughter's get it right before

they are gone.  Once gone you can only go on and sometimes issues never get solved and you

live your life with regret.  Neither side was without fault.  What I learned in relationship with my

Mom whom I lost in 2005 from Panreatic Cancer was all our life we would have situations and

disagreements and even fights.  But my Mom was my hero.  Through single mother hood and

raising 3 Children and two of my siblings are now no longer in my life she made it. Raised us,

fed us, clothed us and hugged and kissed us.  I was by her bedside when she took her last breath.

And it took a part of me.  We need to do a show of Daughters who have lost there Mothers

and how they changed there lifes, to help us become independant and even through problems

never gave up on us.  Because of that I will never give up on me.  But she did one special thing

and that was she let me grow up and I always paid consequences for my actions and when I

left home is when I needed her most.  Those Sunday Morning phone calls are always missed

at 51 yrs old I still am grieveing and I still cry and Some nights in bed I wait to feel her hand brush

across my face.  I will celebrate her life and strength. She was a beautiful doll maker. PS:  As always

you have brought to the forefront something very important and a need for us to reflect.  Thank

you for another great show.  You have help me so much.

Megan,

I registered on this message board today just to let you know that you really touched me!  I think you are simply beautiful and extremely talented.  Your story touched me because I felt used and abandoned by my mother and I would have described my mother very similar to the way you described yours.  Today I am married and the mother of 5 children aged between 13 and 25.  My daughter is 19.  Thing is, at my point in life, I know that when you hate people as much as you seemed to hate your mother (because I too could have cared less whether my mother was alive or dead), the negative attitude is really detrimental to you and all your future relationships……that includes coworkers, bosses, neighbors, friends, family, spouse, and children.  I am still working through my issues so that I can have the best relationship possible with my own children and spouse.  I've lightened up on my mother because I think she did do the best she could at the time (even if she was not as good a parent as I think she should have been) and I live my life my own way.  You owe it to yourself to work through your feelings and come to some kind of peace so you can enjoy your life to the fullest.  I would love to hear more of your music!!  Take it one step at a time.  I’m rooting for you!

Wishing you peace and recovery,

Cindy

I have 2 young daughters of my own, even though I might not agree with everything my mom says I would never stop talking to her.

I feel for you that your daughter hasn't talked to you in so long.  Please don't beat yourself up too bad.  I'm sure you have room to change, but if she isn't even talking to you then how is she going to see the changes?

My sister in-law hasn't talked to any of her family for about a year now, she has a new baby which only my husband and I saw at birth.  She won't let her own mother see the baby.

I don't even think she remembers why she stopped talking to everyone to begin with, just excuses and "snottiness!"

All I can say to you is live your life and say a prayer for your daughter every night.  One day she will realize that you carried her for nine months, gave birth to her, loved and raised her unconditionally, put all your needs on the side line and tried to be the best mom that you could be.

If it helps, this isn't so much about you as it is about her.  She is an unhappy person within herself.  Happy spiritual people don't stop talking to others, especially there mother . 

What these daughters fail to see is that they don't have to be best friends with there moms, they don't have to even talk to them.  Maybe just send some pictures and card a few times a year and say "I forgive you but don't feel like we have to have a close relationship."  I don't think there is anything wrong with that. 

These daughters are actually hurting themselves alot more then they are anyone else, and believe it or not it will effect there relationship with there own kids.

Good luck and God Bless!!

Serenity83, your post has helped me so much! 

I too never felt close to my mom and couldn't talk to her and had to supress my feelings and never felt good enough and my brother was always better than me.

My whole life I felt used by her....used as a scapegoat & a sewage dump for all her unresolved toxic issues.

I don't have a relationship with her any more because of this (& other things) and it feels wonderful to be free of her.  I don't wish bad things on her....it's like she's a former boss that was terrible to work for but now I don't work there anymore and I've moved on to a new job.

I really admire that you are going back to school...I sure wish I had...education will give you enormous freedom & options so that you won't be trapped with people who are toxic.  There is nothing worse in life than to have no options & be stuck....you're making a very wise choice to pursue school and/or whatever will give you independence.

I'm very sorry about your husband.....it is heatbreaking that you are going through such a terrible loss.

I'm pulling for you and will hold you in my thoughts & prayers.