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Topic : 01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

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Created on : Saturday, September 29, 2007, 09:23:47 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
How well do you think you know your neighbors, your friends and even your child's teacher? It is estimated that four to eight million people in North America are swinging in the suburbs -- mostly middle-class folks from all walks of life. Dr. Phil gives you a closer look at who these couples are who engage in sex with other twosomes. First up, Nita and Walter have been swinging for the last 12 years. They say they are happy in the lifestyle, so why does it cause tension in their relationship? Then, Brent says he has a strong yearning for he and his wife, Renee, to participate in a threesome. Renee says the idea disgusts her, but worries that if she refuses to join in, Brent will leave her. They fight constantly, often dragging their 17-year-old son into the middle of their chaos. Brent says he thinks about having threesomes every other day, but says that his desire is normal. What does Dr. Phil think? And, Dr. Phil viewers weigh in and share their thoughts about the swinging lifestyle. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 19, 2008, 7:43 am CST

Brent: you are an amazing boy

Quote From: ramair

Renee is afraid, if she doesn't cave into Brent's demands that she join him in a threesome, he'll leave her. Is hanging onto that sicko pervert worth engaging in something that so obviously digusts her? She ought to stand her ground. If  Brent leaves Renee, he'll be doing her a favor. She ought to do herself the favor. By throwing that rotten fish back into the cess-pool.

WOW  !!  It only takes trashy behavior to satisfy your immediate "needs".......how pathetic, Brent.   That description applies also to plankton, doesn't it? 
 
January 19, 2008, 8:29 am CST

Consequences

Women need to be more fearful of losing their self-respect and peace of mind than losing a partner who imposes his desire for a threesome or multiple sex partners. When sex is used as a sport it may seem exciting until the reality of sexually transmitted diseases sets in -- chlamydia and cervical cancer (research confirms multiple sex partners are a leading cause of this cancer).

My husband threatened to leave if I did not participate and I agreed. I didn't realize the impact it would have on my sense of self worth. I felt sickened and ashamed and while I once loved sex with my husband, I now avoid and hate it. I wish I had told him to leave. I did finally tell him what the experience had done to my self image and the damage to our relationship. I realized too late that he did not love me or he would never have asked me to engage in an activity that violated my mental health and physical well-being. Ladies, don't do it to please your partner.

 
January 19, 2008, 9:23 am CST

01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

I always love it when swinging comes up as a topic.

 

My wife of 33 years and I have been together since 1968, we work together owning two small businesses, we do lots of volunteer work, and on Saturday nights we go out for our date night.

 

We go to our local swingers bar to dance with each other and other couples we know, we have sexy fun, we flirt, we laugh, we have a ball. About one time every two months we have such a great time with another couple we go to either our house or theirs and play sexy games, strip poker, naked twister or the like.

We have sex, it is just an extension of the fun we have.

 

Before i get blasted for being controlling in any way, I certainly do not force her to do anything. She likes to dress sexy and she loves to flirt, I don't have any problem with her doing so. She was beautiful and sexy when we started dating and she is beautiful and sexy today.

 
January 19, 2008, 10:12 am CST

sinful swingers

I won't even take the time to listen to these immoral people try and justify what they are doing.  If they have any decency at all they will get out of their marriages and let these children grow up in a loving, committed home.  These week women that say they are afraid of a man leaving them if they don't participate in this insanity are just plain disgusting and need a good dose of conviction and self esteem.  Someday these parents  will have to account to their children for their selfishness and bad judgement.   The reality will be painful.  
 
January 19, 2008, 10:50 am CST

Swinging Lifestyle not funny

I hate to say it, but a long time ago that was part of the way I tried to keep my marriage alive. It didn't work, and it is the most disgusting way to try to satisfy a partner. People need to think about the diseases that are out there today and stop fooling themselves that it is fun.

 

If you are married and love your partner you will not want to be with anyone else. Keep sex in the home, and not with someone else, but your own partner only. Stop fooling yourselves and stop fooling around. I'm sure Dr. Phil would agree with me that a monogamous relationship is a good way to go.

 
January 19, 2008, 10:51 am CST

swinging in the suburbs

Personally, I have never participated in the swinging lifestyle, but I know a couple who have tried it, and they are no longer  couple. At first, it was fun for them both, and they insisted that their relationship coud handle it.  They agreed to stop if either of them decided that they didn't want to do it anymore. Simply put...he stopped. she didn't. 16 years of marriage down the toilet.  'Nuff said..

 

 
January 19, 2008, 11:13 am CST

The world has gone crazy

 We have lost sight of why we even get married any longer.  We marry because we love the person and want to share our life with them.  You take a vow before God and your spouse to stay together until death do you part. 

 

If you are bored in bed and sex can get boring after a few years, go to a counselor, get some new Ideas, buy a book for Gods sake.  You don't invite other people into your bed.  It is plan an simple cheating and cheating is lying.  Couples who swing and invite a third party into their bed are asking for divorce down the road.  What is the difference between swinging and going out and having an affair.

 

Renee here is a message to you.  Let Brent go.  If this is what he is asking of you than he has no respect for you or your marriage.  He is thinking about himself.  I am sure that he wants this third party to be another woman.  I wonder if you wanted another man in the bed if would be so willing to put your marriage on the line for a good time .

 

I just do not understand the world today. 

 
January 19, 2008, 11:31 am CST

Being swingers ourselves

 I'm interested how Dr. Phil will portray swingers.  Will those millions of people who swing successfully be portrayed in a good light, or are we all to be painted as ruining our family dynamics and ruining our marriages?  Reading the synopsis of the show, it sounds like Nita and Walter had problems in their marriage to begin with.  These are the drama couples we stay far away from.  Any successful swinger single or couple would advise them to fix their marriage before swinging.  With Brent and his selfish wants of a threesome, if your spouse refuses to swing, that's it.  No means no.  There is no room for compromise when one spouse refuses.  If he threatens to leave, help him pack his bags.  Swinging isn't about being selfish, it's about being selfless.  We both want the other to have the experiences of a lifetime. 

Swinging isn't for everyone, and that's OK.  Not everyone is cut out for skydiving, either.  Most people can't wrap their heads around the why's or what for's of swinging.  You don't have to understand.  We do ask you however,  to be respectfully tolerant of our lifestyle that we've chosen.   I've heard us compared to pedophiles, rapists and murderers.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  Swinging is not a crime and if it was, it is a victimless one.  Nobody gets hurt.  It's consensual, safe and sane. 
 
January 19, 2008, 12:27 pm CST

LET HIM LEAVE

My close friend was where this couple is now. My friend also thought if she didn't he would leave her. Guess what??? She gave in and three years later still trying to pick up the pieces. Has no self - estem. Has feelings of depression, no self worth and HATES HER HUSBAND. Trust me she's even had a lover on the side.  She states it sickens her when he trys to even touch her. So I say.............BEWARE. You don't share the same moral values let him GO. Because if you go ahead you'll lose more then him.

 
January 19, 2008, 12:41 pm CST

Amen

Quote From: psyhobby

I won't even take the time to listen to these immoral people try and justify what they are doing.  If they have any decency at all they will get out of their marriages and let these children grow up in a loving, committed home.  These week women that say they are afraid of a man leaving them if they don't participate in this insanity are just plain disgusting and need a good dose of conviction and self esteem.  Someday these parents  will have to account to their children for their selfishness and bad judgement.   The reality will be painful.  
This isn't a show I think Dr. Phil should be doing...it appears that it belongs on the other ragshows.  I'm surprised this is even airing, giving them airtime is just what they want...to promote their sin. 
 
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