Topic : 01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

If you are in a marriage, it's supposed to be between just the two of you. Marriage is between husband and wife, and part of marriage is a sexual relationship. I know a lot of people today do not look at it this way, but the marriage bed is supposed to be special and intimate. And if you have that kind of relationship with other people, it destroys that. You are supposed to be for each other and for each other only. It's sad that so many people look at sex as just something fun and exciting and causal. It's supposed to be fun and exciting, but it's also supposed to be special, intimate, and only between husband and wife. I would never want my husband to do that to me, and I could never do it to him. I agree with Dr. Phil, it's not something that should be judged or looked down on, and that's not what I'm doing. It's just my opinion and my belief that it's not something that could possibly be good for you, your spouse, or your marriage. Even if it's fun now, it's more than likely going to end up destroying your relationship. Love your show, Dr. Phil!

I believe this life style is a very said thing that any person would subject their partner to do. Marrage is to be very special between two people. If you do reach a stagnet place in your  sexual  relationship, you need to talk to each other and work out other  differnt sexual pleasures and encounters with each other. Books, movies, and even toys that both of you might want to try for each other. Don't feel embarrest with each other ( key is each other) They say varity is the spice of life, make that a varity of different things with each other. To me if you have to start looking for things outside of the relationship, you will be starting the beginning, of the end of the relationship. It's got to be an emotional hurt to have your partner  want someone else in order to make your relationship feel better.  

Judy in Nebraska

1st off, there is something that alot of people are not realizing.....when a wife/husband team "plays with" another person, there really isn't any "INTIMACY" with the other person.  I know this may sound bad, but the other person, most times, is thought of by the couple as nothing more than just another sex toy....an "object."   My husband and I, many years ago, experimented and had a couple of threesomes with other women, and that is how we both viewed it.  It never caused any problems or feelings of jelousy.  We stopped, simply because I was bored it.  In our experiences, afterwards, we always felt closer as a couple.......as if we had completed a project or did something together.  It did bond us sexually.  I never felt threatened by another woman, because I knew that my husband enjoyed the visuals and the participation THAT I LET HIM HAVE.   My husband and I had a good life together (children, own a house, etc.) and I knew he would never do anything that might cause him to lose those things.  Also, in layman's terms.....as a wife, I didn't worry about him leaving you because I knew I was  being a "cool" wife, doing things with him that another woman might not do!    BUT, it is not something I care to participate in these days, simply because I don't have the sex drive that I used to have.  And because sometimes, the process of asking the other women, just made me feel like a PERV and that part, to me, seemed to be more work than what it is worth.  I got bored with it.....it always started the SAME way, the sex was the always SAME thing, and......I get bored easily. 

Wal-Mart! lol

I hope they know that you would not really take them back

Do you people even read what u are putting OMG Just because the lifestyle is not for you does NOT and i will repeat does NOT give you any rights to judge others or any of the other BS that's being said. My husband and I are both swingers in fact i asked him about it about 2 years ago we have been together for 5 almost 6. We are in it not to "spice up" our marriage as there is something wrong with our sex life because there's not but we do it to add more excitement to an already fulfilling sex life.  I run a day care and no i don't put i my front door what i am but i take excellent care of the kids in my control just because i am a swinger does not mean i would ever put kids in jeopardy in any way shape or form. I have 2 kids of my own and if i had found some one in the lifestyle that would take care of them as i do i would trust them with them. The last couple on the show is NOT what swinging is about and they 1 need to stay away from the lifestyle 2 he needs to get some serious help for trying to force her into any thing and 3 she needs to dump his azz and move on already. and that is even if he does get the help as she is not going to feel better about her self until she does. WE personally would rather be around swingers as they are ones that are laid back and looking for friends first then if EVERYONE clicks then play unlike "regular" people who would rather cheat on their spouses and lie only want one night stands and then nothing else or just that fact that most on this board proved that some non swingers r so freaking close minded that who would want to be around them. don't knock it unless you tried it then come talk to me about being unmoral and blah blah blah.  My husband and i make love but we have sex with others outside of our marriage. There is a difference between the 2 one has more intimacy then the other one does. I love my husband with all my heart and my soul and i know he feels the same about me if there ever comes a time that either of us didn't want to do this any more then we wouldn't no questions asked no getting mad we are a couple and we play as a couple and our communication skills have actually only gotten better because of it because with out that u shouldn't be in the life style.  If u actually made it though this then i will Say i am sorry it is so long and hopefully i am making my point as just reading most the posts had me seeing red and i can go forever when it is a topic that no one understands and doesn't want to understand but will judges others for it