Topic : 01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

Don't let him, IN ANY WAY, make you think that his addiction is YOUR fault!  I assure you that even if you were skinny and had huge boobs (you said that you had body issues) that he would STILL be looking at other naked women!  That's just how men are and women need to stop putting some much pressure on themselves.....thinking that "if only" we were thinner, prettier, sexier, etc.  then he'd only look at ONE woman......NOPE!  Not how it is!  So accept who you are and if he is too stupid to appreciate that, then that's his lose!  Also, never fail to REMIND him that those beautiful women online in pics would never have anything to do with him.  They have HOT men as hubbies and bfs!  

This man needs to go back and read his wedding vows.  What happened to the vow of "forsaking all others and keeping only unto her, as long as you both shall live"?

Why bother to get married if he wants to be with other women.  A vow is more than a promise, because it is not just a promise to your partner, it is a covenant with God.

I am in my forty's.  My parents were swingers when I was in grade school.  We stayed in a mobile home in a nudist camp when I was a child over summer vacations.  Although it was a family camp, my parents got involved in the sadistic behavior of swinging.  I didn't know what they were doing.  All I knew was that when they had company over, I would feel the trailer shake and hear adults panting.  This eventually split up my parents and the other couples that participated in that lifestyle.  To this day, it sickens me to think about it.  If any of these couples have children, they need to stop this ridicuous behavior!!!!!!!

  I am a single man of 50. Still in good shape and look 40-42,so I am told. I have been on a couple of sex sites for a couple of years. I was approached by a couple 2 years ago, wanting me to join them in a 3some. I had never thought or fantasized about it in my life. But I said..what the hell. I was very nervous but had a good time. I  "played" with them, and sometimes just her alone, 20-25 times. Since my first experience, I have 'played' with 15-20 couples. Even as I was partcipating in it, I never understood it. I could never understand how a man could get sexually excited, watching his wife have sex with another man. It boggles my mind.The number of couples out there, who are looking for a single straight or bi man, bi woman, or another couple, I mind boggling.Over the past 2 years, my feelings evolved in a way, that is scaring me. I am an alpha male...no man had better even look at my wife/girlfriend in a sexual manner. I am scared because through the evolution of feelings, and perception of a sound,loving,monogamous relationship, seems like it has become only a remote possibility at this point. Because of what I have seen, I believe I will always have trust issues in any relationship I develop in the future. My idea of that perfect kind of relationship seems,at this time, like it is unattainable. The last two 3some experiences I have had, were not pleasant experiences. I think my conscience is starting to get the better of me. I have stopped seeing couples now...my last experience was 2 weeks ago. The couple invited me to play again,but I declined. I am wondering if I need some intense psychotherapy, to help me learn what a true relationship is. After seeing how many people are in the "lifestyle" I had come to believe that everybody was doing it. Anyway, I just pray that my confidence in a true ,loving relationship, will someday return.

Can anyone say Sodom & Gomorah?  

 

Our sex life is suppose to be personal and PRIVATE and not shared with the neighbors.  I know God said, "Love thy neighbor, but I don't think that's exactly what he had in mind.

 

I had a boyfriend like that once...notice I said HAD.......we didn't last long. I understand that he is now married to a stripper.

 I agree and disagree.
 This world is full of a high sexual drive. I mean think about years ago, it was wrong to see people show affection in front of others. Now people talk about sex with others. Men use to get beat down for looking wrong at another man. Now its just brushed off. Yes there are those that still beat down the gay guy or the lesbain. Everyone has a sexual fantasy no matter what. 90% of men want a threesome. I have one. I am very afraid of giving him one due to the fact that I would be afraid that he would leave me. Or go continue on and have sex with other women. However have been on both sides I have been in the swinging lifestyle. He doesn't approve of it, So because I love him I stopped my sexual fanatsys of being attracted to women. Yes he wants to have a threesome, but I don't feel comfortable doing it. Why because I'm insecure in our relationship. Untill I feel secure he won't ever get that. I don't think that having fantasys is imorally wrong. I guess thats it.

            When i looked at the show tonight,I almost felt sorry for brent cause hes a got a sickness that needs much attention.I would almost compare him to a child molester

I've been married for 10 years and his addiction to his fantacies made me leave him.  Saying no wasn't enough for me any more because I knew I was breaking down and would say yes sooner or later and hate myself for doing so.  Heck hearing about it all time made me depressed.  So I asked him to leave and told him it was over and why.  He is a great father and I couldn't even say I didn't love him when he asked but what he was asking of me was more than I wanted.  He moved out and started going to a sex consuler.  I went in once and called and cancelled my next appointment.  He kept going and I missed him so much the whole time but I had to now things where going to change before he moved back in.  The hardest thing for me was that he played with the kids everyday and although he came over as much as I would let him to see the kids just the fact that he wasn't there all the time for them was effecting the kids.  When I let him move back in he knew if he started back on that path agian it was over.  Shortly there after we moved and he feels he doesn't need to keep going to group or see a counceler.  I am worried that he is going to go back to the way it was. 

 Couple should be able to at least discauss anything, sexual or otherwise. Neither should be judged because of their desires or fantasies. If one part of a couple is interested in any aspect of swinging, they should discuss it with their partner. The key thing is that if one partner doesnt agree then that needs to be the end of it. Those that do decide to try it out must have clearly defined rules and boundaries before experimenting with this. And if they decide to give it a try at all times they should have a word or phrase that automatically calls it off. As long as both partners can agree to and act accordingly, there is absolutely nothing wrong. Couples should discuss their hopes, concerns, fantasies, etc.
If if they cant agree to try something out, dont try it. But watching certain types of movies could assist them in playing out fantasies without actually having to do it with real people. Just respect each other and have fun.